Once Upon a Hogwarts
by Lily in a Pond
Summary: The Prince never returned Cinderella's shoe, the evil stepsister is more dangerous than you think, and the real Cinderella still hasn't revealed herself. It'll take more than magic to fix this fairy tale before the clock strikes midnight. DMHG.
1. The Beginning

Once Upon a Hogwarts

By Lily in a Pond

Chapter One - Prologue

Summary: Midnight. A mysterious girl. A lost object.

Sound familiar? Think again...

Hermione didn't get her earring back, Draco never realized who his Cinderella girl was, and now, someone else is taking Hermione's place. In fairy tales, magic always does its thing, and the curtain falls as the characters ride off into the sunset. But when good magic and bad magic collide, that fairy tale may not end in happily ever after...

A/N-This is an idea I came up with while I was in Washington. My second story! Yippee! Crack open the beer people and celebrate Lily in a Pond's second story! Woohoo!

Hem hem. Please excuse LiaP's behavior as she is still hyped up from drinking eight Capital coffees, three shots of expresso, and five cappuccinos while in Washington over the space of seven days. (Hey, a girl needs her sugar to survive the wonders of Washington.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or the song "Time After Time", by Cyndi Lauper. I also do not own the Yule Ball or Hermione, Harry, or Ron's memories.

----------

The Great Hall was dripping with icicles. The walls were covered with glittering frost. The tables and floor were lightly dusted with a shimmering layer of sparkles. The Weird Sisters were crooning a sad, slow song into the microphone. Girls and boys were slowly swaying on the dance floor. The Yule Ball was in full swing.

Hermione Granger pressed her head closer into Draco Malfoy's chest. She wished this moment could last forever. Hermione knew that if Harry and Ron caught her dancing with Malfoy, they would probably kill him right there and throw him into the kitchen to roast for tomorrow's dinner. But thankfully, Harry and Ron had mysteriously disappeared, hopefully not to the rose bushes to snog, Hermione thought. Besides, Hermione didn't care whether or not Ron saw. Ron was such an egotistical prat, it'll be all the better if he saw Hermione dancing with his worst enemy. And honestly...who was he to comment about Victor, or _Vicky_, as he had said.

Draco Malfoy smiled and pulled Hermione a little more closer. He didn't have a single idea who this girl was, except that she came with Viktor Krum. Strangely enough, he was reminded strongly of Hermione Granger, the Gryffindor bookworm. But judging by the way she talked, he was sure she was either a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin, and he was certain she was nothing short of a pureblood.

FLASH!

Hermione and Draco broke apart.

"Hi, Her-" Colin Creevey squeaked as Hermione clapped a hand over his mouth. It would be completely disastrous if Malfoy found out who she was now. Hermione had harbored a secret crush on Draco Malfoy ever since second year, when he had first called her a Mudblood. It made her feel rather good that she could pull on his strings like that and force him to say something like that. And though Mudblood was really a derogatory term, she knew he didn't mean it...after all, he hadn't used it too much over the years.

"What are you doing here, Creevey?" Hermione asked, trying to sound Slytherin-ish. Looking at Colin over Draco's shoulder, she frantically shook her head, hoping Colin would get the message. "The Yule Ball is only for fourth years and above, and I don't think _you, _a scrawny brat carrying a stupid Muggle contraption, got invited by an older girl." Hermione laughed meanly to add to her uncharacteristic behavior.

Draco was listening intently. She was definitely a Slytherin, he thought. Only a Slytherin would say something like that and not feel any remorse.

" - and I just wanted to take some pictures of Harry when I saw you…guys over here," Colin was explaining.

"Alright Creevey, you've gotten your picture, now get out of my sight," said Draco carelessly. He leaned forward and whispered to Colin, "Get me a copy of that picture."

Draco straightened back up, he had pretended he was checking the edge of his robes.

"So," Draco said, turning back to Hermione. "Care to join me for another dance?"

Hermione looked down. "I'm sorry, but I can't. My date just returned," she mumbled to her shoes.

"Oh," Draco replied. Inside, he was killing Viktor Krum for asking this girl to the Ball. How did Krum manage to get her under his big, huge, falcon nose? This girl was obviously a Slytherin, so how could he have missed her?

"Well, when Krum is unavailable, promise that you'll be back to dance with me," Draco said smoothly. No way was he going to lose this girl to Krum!

"I promise," replied Hermione, smiling. Who knew Draco Malfoy could be so nice? He's not nice, she chided herself after thinking of that absurd idea. He's only nice to you because you're all dressed up with your hair tamed and because he thinks you're a Slytherin!

"Ah, Viktor!" she exclaimed superficially. Hermione liked Viktor, but she secretly thought that he was a bit too rough for her. And though she hated to admit it, Ron was right. Fraternizing with the enemy felt...just strange. "Where have you been?" Their voices faded away as Hermione led Viktor away from Draco.

"Drao! There you are!" Draco groaned. A huge mass of horrible, frilly, pink robes was flying towards him.

"Pansy," he acknowledged, grimacing slightly as he spotted her atrocious outfit for the second time.

Pansy opened her eyes wide and batted her three-layer mascara covered eyelashes. "Do you want to dance?" Draco looked instantly horrified at this.

"Er…I've got to go to the bathroom," he managed out before running out of the Great Hall at top speed.

Pansy pouted. "Oh, darn. Hmm...where's that Anthony Goldstein? Anthony! Get over here, we're dancing!"

----------

About an hour later, Hermione came over to Draco again, who was slouched in a discreet corner.

"So," she whispered nervously. "Is that offer still up?"

Draco jumped and looked up at Hermione. Then his face broke into a smile. Stop smiling! he yelled at himself. You've done enough smiling to last you a lifetime! Start smirking, you fool!

Draco smiled cooly. "Always."

Hermione carefully around for Harry and Ron, but she couldn't see them anywhere, so she happily took Draco's outstreched hand.

A new song came on and Hermione recognized it.

"Hey, I know thi-" Hermione quickly coughed to cover up her slip.

"Are you alright? Do you need some water?" Draco asked.

"No no, I'm fine," replied Hermione, smiling brightly as she placed her other hand on Draco's shoulder. It felt velvety and soft...just like him, Hermione thought, smiling.

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick_

_And think of you_

_Caught up in circles of confusion-_

_Is nothing new_

_Flashback-warm nights-_

_Almost left behind_

_Suitcase of memories_

_Time after-_

"How come I've never noticed you before?" Draco asked softly as he swayed with Hermione slowly.

Hermione thought about how to answer that and then replied carefully, "Maybe you've looked, but you've never actually…seen."

Draco contemplated this for a moment, then frowned. "So, what's your name?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll just have to figure it out. But in the meantime, just think of me as Cinderella," winked Hermione. This was a tribute to her favorite childhood bedtime story.

"Well, Cinderella, I know that you have brown hair and brown eyes. You're smart and you're a Slytherin. But that's all I know about you."

"Well those clues should be enough to figure out who I am. There aren't many girls in this school that are smart and brown haired with brown eyes." Hermione bit her lip and decided not to mention the Slytherin part.

Draco laughed. "That's true. Not a lot of pretty girls are smart." Hermione immediately thought of Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil and laughed. "I like a girl who's smart. She can hold her own."

_If you're lost you can look-and you will find me_

_Time after time_

_If you fall I will catch you-I'll be waiting_

_Time after time_

_Time after time_

_Time after time_

As the song ended, Hermione reluctantly drew away from Draco.

"I have to go. It's almost midnight," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Wait!" Draco called out desperately. "Come back!" For a second, it looked like his mystery girl was crying as she waved goodbye to him. But that was probably a trick of the light, he reasoned. Why would she be crying? They would see each other again.

Hermione ran across the Great Hall, sobbing. Her magical night was ending. Tomorrow she would wake up and be bushy haired, bookworm Granger to Draco again. And that hurt.

Hermione stopped when she saw the bottom part of the Fat Lady's portrait. Her feet had automatically taken her to Gyrffindor Tower.

"Fairy lights," she choked out and stumbled inside.

"Why, my dear, what's wrong?" asked the Fat Lady before Hermione slammed the door behind her. "Well, _excuse_ me for trying to be helpful!" came the muffled reply.

"Hermione?" came a groggy voice near the fire.

"Oh, it's you, Ron," said Hermione flatly, remembering the fight they had had before she had first danced with Draco.

"So? What's wrong with me?" said Ron angrily, the tips of his ears heating up. "I'm good enough for you? Unlike _Vicky_?"

"No Ron, you're perfectly fine-" Hermione started to say, but Ron cut her off.

"Oh, really? Perfectly _fine_? I suppose _Vicky_ must be dashingly fine then!"

"Don't call him that, Ron! This is all because you're jealous of him, isn't it? You're jealous, Ronald Weasley, that I managed to get a wonderful date to the Ball and you had to take leftovers!" Hermione was getting really angry now and her elegant hair was starting to fall apart.

"I'm jealous? Why would I be jealous of an egotistic, hook-nosed, duck-footed person like him?"

"Because he's better than you in all ways! Yes, Ron, he's always done things one step ahead of you, hasn't he?" snarled Hermione dangerously.

"Well-" Ron started to say, but then Hermione interrupted him as she saw Harry enter the Common Room out of the corner of her eye,

"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the situation is, don't you?"

"Oh yeah?" Ron yelled. "What's that?"

"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!" And with that, Hermione turned on her heel and stomped upstairs to the girls' dormitory. She heard Ron sputter to Harry as she slammed her door,

"Well, well - that just proves - completely missed the point - "

Hermione sighed deeply and burrowed deeper in her pillow. In the space of one night, she had fallen in love with someone, had her heart broken, and had a huge argument with one of her best friends. And to top it all of, she had just discovered that one of her precious sapphire earrings was missing. Tomorrow was sure going to be a hell of a day.

----------

Meanwhile, in the Slytherin Common Room, Draco was pacing around in front of the fire. In his hand, he clutched a tiny sapphire earring that he had almost stepped on when he ran out of the Great Hall following his mystery girl. Draco was absolutely sure that the earring belonged to his mystery girl, his Cinderella. He was determined to find his Cinderella and he was going to see who had a missing sapphire earring in Slytherin that also had brown hair and eyes.

Draco looked up as Daphne Greengrass and Theodore Nott came stumbling in, laughing and talking. Daphne appeared to be drunk, because she usually was a reticent girl. Theo had an arm slung around her and he appeared to be enjoying the feeling. Then Draco sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. Was he seeing things? he wondered. Daphne Greengrass was wearing a blue dress and one of her sapphire earrings appeared to be missing. Her brown hair, exactly the color of his Cinderella, was flying into her eyes, so he couldn't tell whether or not they were brown. But, Draco reasoned, she fits all the physical characteristics so far. Was true love possible or was this just pushing it?

"Daphne," Draco said. "Nott." Theodore gave him a tight-lipped smile.

Brown eyes, check. Brown hair, check. Blue dress, one sapphire earring, check, check. Slytherin, check, Draco thought. Now for the missing clue.

"Daphne," he started. "Is this your earring?" Draco held out the small, but elegant, blue sphere.

And for a moment, Draco thought Daphne's eyes suddenly gleamed, but then the look was gone, and Draco supposed it must've been a trick of the light.

"Oh my, it is! How did you ever find it?" Daphne clutched the earring to her chest.

"I have my ways," replied Draco smoothly. "But more about that later. Daphne, will you be my girlfriend? Forget about Theo and be with me. You're the girl I danced with a few minutes ago...just admit it."

The whole of the Slytherin Common Room fell silent, except for the anguished shrieks of "No!" by Pansy.

"Shut up, Pansy," said Draco, without taking his eyes of Daphne. "So, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Are you kidding me? YES!"

Draco smirked and then kissed her on the lips, feeling extremely self-satisfied with himself. He had gotten his Cinderella girl and they were destined to last forever. So why did the kiss feel so wrong? he wondered. It's just because you're in a very public area and Blaise is making wolf-whistles, Draco reasoned.

Draco tore his lips of Daphne's to shoot, "Shut up, Blaise," in his direction before returning to snogging Daphne. Nobody noticed Theodore Nott, forgotten as the crowd cheered Draco on, slinking into the boys' dormitory with a betrayed expression on his face.

0o0

Ginny Weasley staggered into the Gryffindor Common Room with Neville Longbottom. They had danced all the way until midnight and Neville wasn't the best dancer; he had trod on her feet quite a lot.

Ginny collapsed in a chair near the fireplace and saw a children's book near her foot.

"Cinderella," she read aloud and started reading, tired as she was. Scanning the pages, she smiled in satisfaction.

"Happily ever after," Ginny mused after finishing. "I guess we all got our happy ending tonight, didn't we?"

Little did she know that a certain bookworm upstairs in the girls' dormitory was crying herself to sleep because of her own unhappy ending at this very moment.

Little did she know that another person in the Slytherin Dormitory was having his mistaken happy ending.

Little did she know that not one person tonight has truly had their happy ending.

But, of course, this was Hogwarts. Magic can fix everything.

...Right?

0o0

A/N-So, how was that? Please review!

P.S. Any type of review is welcome. Forget the whole, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything," motto. I like criticism, as long it gives me tips for improvement.

-Lily in a Pond


	2. HUB on the Way

Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Would I really be writing fanfiction if I did own Harry Potter? No, I'd be writing the seventh book! And for gods sakes, I can't wait for it to come out!

A/N-Did I mention that this story is slightly AU? Well, if I didn't, then there you go! I just mentioned it. Please read and review!

--

"Attention everyone." Professor McGonagall, now Headmistress of Hogwarts, rapped her spoon against her glass goblet. Everyone in the Great Hall fell silent after the famous reproaching look that she sent in all directions. "This year, we are going to have a ball very much like the Yule Ball that we had a few years ago to celebrate how united we are now, in these dark times."

Ron and Harry looked at each other incredulously and glared at the Slytherins. The Slytherins glared back.

"Has McGonagall finally gone batty?" Ron whispered to Harry and Hermione. "I hope she knows what she's saying; united, my arse..."

"Maybe somebody wrote the speech for her," Harry said hopefully. "Someone who's very optimistic and a bit delusional. Maybe it's that white-haired Ancient Runes witch; she looks perfectly giddy every Friday."

"What about the rest of the week?" Ron asked.

"Oh, then she just looks drunk," Harry snickered.

Hermione, newly appointed Head Girl, glared at them.

"For those of you who were here for the Yule Ball, you know how the rules go. For those of you who weren't, you may only be allowed to go if you were invited by an older student as I can assume all of you are in your third year right now."

"Wish Crabbe and Goyle were kept back four times," Ron whispered to Harry. The two exchanged smirks.

"Shush, you two!" hissed Hermione. "Professor McGonagall's saying something really important! And Harry, you as Head Boy should do some honor to your position!"

"Hey, Ron," Seamus whispered down the table, "wonder if she'll force us to wear dress robes?" Ron instantly turned a pale shade of green at this while Seamus and Dean sniggered softly. Professor McGonagall glared in their direction. The boys immediately fell silent under her burning gaze.

"Ahem. As I was saying, this ball will be just like the Yule Ball, and yes, Mr. Weasley, you'll have to wear proper attire. _Dress robes_."

Everyone burst into laughter. Everyone who attended the Yule Ball had seen Ron in his dress robes. It was rather quite hard not too, he was simply a walking wad of lace, ruffles, and flaming red hair.

"Also," Professor McGonagall continued. "This time, instead of the Weird Sisters, Celestina Warbleck will be singing." She paused because suddenly many girls were jumping up and down, shrieking within an inch of their lives. "This ball will be called the House-Unity Ball, or HUB for short as many of you will be calling it. Like how the Yule Ball was held to celebrate the peace between the three main schools of Europe, the HUB will celebrate the unity of Hogwarts itself. Now," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I had hoped that it would start at eight precisely and last until eleven on Halloween, but due to the very _persuasive_ methods of the other staff members and some anonymous students - " female giggles were heard " - it will last until two in the morning on December 20th, as a little warm-up for your Christmas." Professor McGonagall sighed again and continued, ignoring the clapping that had followed this announcement. "This date should give you plenty of time to find a partner and get your dress robes. But, however, this ball is not an excuse to blow off steam foolishly and act like a bunch of bumbling, babbling baboons. This is a social event and I hope each and every one of you will uphold Hogwarts' proud name in your behavior."

As soon as she had finished, the Great Hall erupted in speech. Girls began to put their heads together, whispering about what they would wear, which boy they wanted to go with, and which hairstyle would look best on them. Boys winked at certain girls and loudly announced who they were going with.

"Excuse me!" McGonagall said sharply. "I'm not done yet."

"Could've fooled me," Ron said dejectedly, as he was anxiously anticipating the feast.

"I'd like to introduce two new staff members. First is Professor Jocular, who will taking over my previous post as the Transfigurations teacher."

A young man with spiked brown hair and a lip piercing stood up and waved jauntily, blowing kisses to the Slytherins (they were not amused). Professor Jocular was wearing black robes with blood-red stripes running down the sides, and as he lifted his arm up to wave to the students, a lion tattoo was revealed.

"I'm betting that bloke was a Gryffindor," Ron said as he clapped loudly.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out," Hermione muttered. Personally, she thought the teacher rather reminded her of Bill Weasley, though Professor Jocular definitely looked younger than the oldest Weasley brother.

"I reckon if McGonagall let him take her spot, he must be a pretty good teacher," Harry said.

Across the table from Harry, Ginny Weasley scoffed. "I don't care if he's good at Transfigurations, I just want to see if he has more tattoos on him!"

Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil erupted into giggles.

"Well, he _is_ very fanciable," Lavender agreed.

Ron looked wounded. "I guess I have to get a piercing and a tattoo now if I want a girlfriend," he said glumly. "No wonder Bill was so keen on his earring and long hair; it got him Fleur!"

Harry and Hermione slowly blinked at Ron and returned their attention to McGonagall.

"Next we have Professor de Vellofides, who is our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." A hardened-looking man with olive skin and many wrinkles stood up and acknowledged the students with a brisk nod. He then sat down quickly.

McGonagall adjusted her glasses. "Well, what are you all waiting for? Welcome first-years, welcome new teacheers, and everyone else - welcome back to Hogwarts. Now let's eat!"

"That was a surprisingly pleasing speech," Ron said as he grabbed a chicken drumstick. "I never would've thought those last few words would ever come out of McGonagall's mouth!"

Hermione was still thinking about the ball. She was hoping this ball would not turn out like the Yule Ball. What had happened at the Yule Ball and the day after it was firmly imbedded in her head, possibly forever. That morning, when she came down for breakfast, she couldn't believe her eyes. Draco Malfoy was snogging Daphne Greengrass at the Slytherin table! It wasn't until she pretended to be interested in Parvati and Lavender's gossip that she found out what had happened, the whole gruesome story. Hermione had felt sad, jealous, and betrayed all at the same time. She had worked so hard for something, only to have another person swoop in and claim what was supposed to be Hermione's for her own.

But, Hermione had thought angrily, Daphne had amazingly fit every detail of Draco's Cinderella - the blue dress, the brown hair and eyes, even the missing sapphire earring! She couldn't blame Daphne for taking the opportunity, though. For many nights, Hermione had put herself in Daphne's shoes and finally decided that if she had been in Daphne's place, she would've snapped up that opportunity in a flash.

Besides, she knew that she probably wouldn't have had a chance with Draco anyway. The situation was far too complicated at the time, and it was even more convoluted now.

Anyway, Draco and Daphne seemed like a nice couple. Sure, the girl could be a bit mean and demanding at times, but Malfoy had the same traits. They looked and acted just like an ideal couple would. She just hoped they were as happy as they claimed, but Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that there was something funny going on underneath the surface.

"...Hermione? Hermione? HERMIONE!"

Hermione snapped out of her daze with a start, knocking over her fork with a loud clank. Ron and Harry were peering into her face anxiously.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Harry asked.

"I'm fine, Harry. Just drifted away a bit," Hermione assured him.

"Alright…oh, hey! Do you think Lavender will go with me this time, Hermione?" Ron asked her. "Last time, Harry and me waited like fools until they were all gone and I had to go with Padma Patil."

"Harry and I, Ron," Hermione automatically corrected. "It's Harry and I."

Ron gave her a confused look. "No, you got asked by Viktor Krum early on, remember?"

Hermione sighed. "Never mind, Ron. Anyways, it's a risky chance. You guys broke up last year, but there's always the possibility that Lavender still likes you and the fact that she thought you broke up with her to be with me, but we're since not together…" she trailed off, making a heart in her gravy.

"Thanks, Hermione," said a relieved Ron. "I'm glad I asked you. Your advice is always better than Harry's." Harry punched him on the arm. "Ow! That hurt, mate!"

"So, Harry, are you taking Ginny to the ball?" Hermione said in a loud voice when she noticed that Ginny was listening to their conversation.

Harry looked incredulous. "Of course! What other girl would I go with? Are you thinking alright, 'Mione?"

"Aw, that's sweet, Harry," Ginny said, blushing. "This time, you're probably one of the first people that got partners to the HUB."

Hermione smiled. Her work was done here.

--

The Gryffindors and Ernie Macmillan, the lone Hufflepuff in NEWT Potions, were standing outside of the Potions classroom facing the Slytherins and Ravenclaws, waiting for Professor Slughorn, Potions Master and now Head of Slytherin.

The Gryffindors were all looking forward to this year of Hogwarts. Besides the fact that they would be taking their NEWTs this year, it was supposed to be a relatively good year for them as Professor Snape was finally gone. ("Why, he's off having loads of fun with Voldemort in a dark, dirty dungeon!" Harry had snapped waspishly on the train to Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione had responded with disgusted looks, questioning him if he knew how wrong that sounded.)

"Come in, everyone! Come in!" boomed Slughorn as he waddled towards them, wearing bright green robes with gold accents (the dark hallway was instantly brightened). "Excellent, excellent, everyone's here!"

Slughorn spread his arms wide. "Welcome to another year of NEWT Potions! Now, today we will begin by making a most complicated potion. In fact, I doubt any of you, except for Mr. Potter with his exceptional potion-making skills, will come even halfway!"

Hermione glared at Harry, who was squirming in his seat. Seeing his guilty face, Hermione scowled. "You didn't throw the book away," she accused in a hushed whisper. Harry looked very uncomfortable.

"Er…well…you see…the thing is that…well the thing is…erm…no, I didn't," Harry finally admitted. Hermione's scowl increased tenfold.

"Now," Professor Slughorn was saying, "I will pair you up in groups of two since this potion is quite complicated, and since I am very fond of the wonderful English alphabet, you'll be paired up alphabetically. The people that you are paired up with will be your Potions partners for the rest of the year, on the occasion that we need groups, and also, I have decided to take a leaf out of a Muggle teacher's book and make up a seating chart! Oho! Aren't Muggles the most fascinating people? What with their intricate little diagrams and stick figures!" he laughed cheerfully. The Slytherin side snorted. "I heard that, Mr. Zabini, but you are quite right - I _have _gone through a lovely period of enlightenment over the summer. Anyhow, two to a table, you may switch left and right sides!"

He pulled out a piece of parchment and read,

"Mandy Brocklehurst and Anthony Goldstein!" He tapped the table in the front left.

"Hermione Granger and Daphne Greengrass!" Hermione nearly groaned out loud. Stuck for a year with the girl that was Draco's girlfriend and had also happened to steal everything that as supposed to be hers! This was ridiculous.

Oh well, I guess some good might come of it, Hermione reasoned optimistically. Though I don't really know what _good_ is defined as of right now. At least I'm sitting in front and center.

Hermione looked around and saw that Morag MacDougal, a Slytherin that sometimes hung around Malfoy, but spend most of his time in the library, sit down with Ernie Macmillan on her left.

"Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter." A hush spread around the room and Hermione couldn't help but look at Slughorn like he was crazy. What sort of madman would put those two enemies, each capable of casting Unforgivables, together? Was Slughorn just deaf and blind or did he just not hear the uncannily sinister silence and see everyone's shocked faces?

"Orla Quirke and Lisa Turpin and here, Ron Weasley and Blaise Zabini."

Slughorn looked up. The only people actually satisfied with their partners were the Ravenclaws, who were all amazingly sitting together.

"Oh dear," Slughorn said, smiling at the scowling class, except for the Ravenclaws who were practically beaming with their good fortune. "We might have to change the seats a bit." He surveyed the class for a minute, then clapped his hands. "Right then, Mr. Potter, you switch seats with Miss Granger, and Mr. Zabini, you switch seats with Mr. Goldstein."

Hermione looked stricken, though on the inside she was cheering and dancing and jumping for joy. This was her chance! She could get Draco back and make him realize that she was the girl that he had danced with at the Yule Ball!

"Sorry, Hermione," Harry whispered as he passed her with his bag.

"It's okay, Harry," Hermione whispered back. "It wasn't your fault."

Hermione neatly put her bag down while Harry dumped it unceremoniously on the floor. Zabini, however, threw his bag maniacally on the table, stomped around on the floor, flailed his arms a bit, took a deep breath to compose himself, and slid neatly into his new seat, scooting it to as far as it could without banging up against the table.

The rest of the class wached with uncontained humor. It was like watching a human cat having a silent hissy fit.

Professor Slughorn was amused too. "Well, Mr. Zabini, if you're done, we can start with our potion now."

Zabini merely nodded. It was widely known around Hogwarts that during the summer, Mandy Brocklehurst had pushed him into a lake where there were known to be poisonous eels in payback for him putting insects in her bed (God knows how) in payback for her switching his shampoo with scented glue in payback for him destroying five of her favorite quills in payback for her hacking off thirty twigs of his broom in payback for him hacking off thirty twigs of _her_ broom in payback for her burning his hair during Charms class in payback for him passing around naked baby pictures of her in payback for her scribbling 'Blaise Zabini is a self-proclaimed homosexual' on the boys bathroom in the second floor corridor in payback for him attaching her pink nightie with the Care Bears printed on it to the tip of Ravenclaw Tower in payback for her _accidentally _kicking him in the you-know-where during a practice duel in Defense Against the Dark Arts in payback for him _accidentally _punching her in the face after she had disarmed him at the same practice duel in payback for her embarrassing him in front of the whole Transfiguration class in payback for…the list goes on and on, all the way leading to first year when Mandy had tripped over Blaise's outstretched foot as she was trying to find a compartment on the Hogwarts Express.

Needless to say, Blaise Zabini and Mandy Brocklehurst weren't very good friends, unless friend translated in some language meant sworn enemy.

However, their pranks and tricks and arguing weren't exactly stopped. The professors tried to do their best to keep their fighting from using fists, but the students didn't really care. Now that Fred and George were gone, people sought out new entertainment, and Mandy and Blaise provided it on a regular basis. It was always amusing to walk into the Great Hall one day and find that Mandy Brocklehurst's diary entries were displayed across the ceiling instead of the weather, changing every two minutes, or looking up and seeing a blimp float slowly by in the air bearing the neon words 'Blaise Zabini gets off with garbage bags so he wouldn't have to change the sheets'. (Both of these did happen.) And now, it looked like Slughorn had decided to join the students' side and watch the fun unfold.

Hermione was now looking up at the board, memorizing all the ingredients she would need for a Love Potion. _A Love Potion!_ Hermione did a double take. There, it was on the board in big block letters, _Amortentia_.

Hermione sighed and crossed the room to get some lacewings, a bezoar, dried rose petals and daisies, and crushed cherry blossoms, half of the ingredients they would need.

Malfoy already had the water simmering away in their cauldron when she got back.

"Okay, now you get the essence of murtlap, peony skin, and some rose thorns, Malfoy," Hermione directed, "while I start the potion."

"Three times around clockwise, add in the rose petals. Chop up the lacewings and add in, stirring counterclockwise until potion turns red," Hermione recited out loud.

Hermione snuck a look at Harry's potion. It was already red, thanks to whatever trick the Prince had up his sleeve...er…page. His potion was bound to be perfect. After all, he was following _Snape's_ instructions.

Hermione silently fumed and started stirring so vigorously that when Malfoy came back, he raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Granger?" he taunted. "Upset because someone finally beat you in something other than flying?"

"Remember how in third year I punched you?" Hermione said casually, without missing a beat. Draco suddenly looked like he had a lemon in his mouth. "Well, now I'm older and I can punch harder and stronger."

Draco gave her a dark look.

"That is what they say about ferrets," Hermione said in a singsong voice, reminding herself incredibly of Luna Lovegood. "They always come in last. Maybe it's because their cutesy little feet can't run very fast, or maybe it's because all that slinky fur is getting in the way, or maybe, just maybe, they're afraid of breaking a nail."

"Shut it, Mudblood," he growled and elbowed her aside from the potion. "My turn."

--

Replies to Reviews:

-xox solarsun xox- Thanks! I really like "Time After Time" too. It was a toss up between Kelly Clarkson' s "Because of You", the Pussycat Dolls' "Stickwitu", and "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper. In the end I choose "Time After Time" because it seemed more appropriate for the storyline. Also, it kinda has a more better, even beat to it than the others for slow dancing. You're a little strange? Obviously you haven't met me when I'm not high on life. (trust me, you don't wanna meet me when I'm high on life, I tend to start screaming at random people and start dancing on tables!)

-Harry Hotty(sorry, can't put your email in there)- Strangely enough, you remind me of my friend-who-used-to-be-my-boyfriend. He was always saying stuff like that, though he prefers Sleeping Beauty to Cinderella.

And for my first reviewer, (drumroll please), luvbooks,

OMG THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU ARE THE BOMB THAT GOES OFF WAY INTO OUTER SPACE!

...I think I still am pretty hyped up on those coffees I drank in Washington three weeks ago...

Anyways, to everyone else who reviewed, THANK YOU! and kiss to you too, Marine.

Please review!

-Lily in a Pond


	3. Of Disappearing YouKnowWheres

Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, because if I did, I'd writing the seventh book and an autobiography called How to Get Filthy Rich on Fiction.

Please read and review!

--

"Ron, did you ask Lavender yet?" Hermione asked Ron as they went down to the Great Hall with Harry after Divination and Arithmancy (Hermione was still convinced Professor Trelawny was a fake and a delusional loon).

"I'm going to," Ron answered breezily.

"You better hurry, mate. I heard Seamus wants to ask her," Harry remarked.

"Seamus?" Ron scoffed with an air of superiority. "Seamus has got nothing on me!"

"He's going to do it tonight in the Gryffindor Common Room, with flowers and champagne," Harry said flatly. Ron's smirk vanished.

"Oh, right, I forgot he finally got that spell about rum to succeed," Hermione said. "And just in time, too! It's been, what, six years?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, Seamus might not be very bright in the head about academics, but I have to tell you, his spells sure do have flair."

Hermione scoffed. "_Flair?_ Seamus is a _genius_! Turning water into rum is just two hops and a shake away from turning water into _gold_!"

Ron and Harry stopped dead in their tracks at this comment.

"Well, it's a good thing he's stupid then, he's never going to realize the importance of his spell," Ron said. "And also because he's stupid, he's going to lose Lavender to me," he finished truimphantly, smirking.

"Technically, Lavender was never his, so he can't lose her to you," Hermione said matter-of-factly. Ron glared at her.

"For once, Hermione, I don't need the technicalities!"

"Now, children," Harry interrupted before things blew up, "you must remember that as seventeen-year-old wizards, we are adults. We must act our age. Especially you, Ron," he said meaningfully.

Ron threw his hands up in exasperation. "Why's it always me? Come on, Hermione's an adult in the Muggle world, so she's twice an adult!"

"That doesn't make sense," Hermione started to say, but then stopped after thinking. "Ron, I'm not eighteen yet. Today's the 12th."

"Hermione's birthday is on the 19th, Ron," Harry said.

Ron looked mildly surprised. "Really? Well...that's that."

As they reached the doors of the Great Hall, Hermione scowled. "Ron, you weren't going to give me a present, were you?"

Ron's hand, which had been reaching towards the doorknob, froze immediately. "Er...I was going to give you a birthday hug?"

Hermione crossed her arms. "We stopped doing birthday hugs years ago."

Harry sensed another argument coming. "Speaking of birthday hugs, there's steak! Ron, let's go and eat it before all those meat-hungry fourth years gobble it all up!"

Hermione was left standing in a cloud of dust as Harry and Ron sprinted off, placing themselves strategically between Neville and Dean Thomas.

"Boys," she muttered angrily.

"Granger, would you mind moving it?" a familiar drawling voice came from behind her. "Just in case you didn't notice, some of us are trying to get in and eat, a concept even you would be familiar with."

Hermione slowly turned around and plastered a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. "Why, hello, Malfoy. I didn't see you there. Perhaps it was due to you being of such small size, considering that you're a ferret."

"Shut up," he snapped.

"Oh dear, I'm afraid your comebacks are getting stupider and stupider, Malfoy. The best I heard was way back in third year."

"I said, shut up. Don't make me say it a third time, because when I have to repeat myself twice, bad things happen. Now, I must be going. It hasn't been a pleasure seeing you, I'm sure. Now, if I were a very polite and nice person, I'd bid you goodbye. But since I'm not, sod off, Granger," Malfoy snarled, and left.

_"Now, if I were a very polite and nice person, I'd bid you goodbye,"_Hermione mimicked as she sat down huffily next to Lavender and reached for the platter of orange chicken. "Who does that prat think he is, Queen Elizabeth?" she scoffed, laughing inwardly at the thought of Draco Malfoy wearing a long, ceremonial gown with a crown perched gaily on top of his hair.

Hermione's blissful eating was interrupted when Mandy Brocklehurst burst into the Great Hall with a neon green head, screeching,

"BLAISE ZABINI! YOU ARE BEYOND DECEASED, YOU LITTLE-"

Everyone covered their ears or turned red at what Mandy said next. One first year even fainted.

"Ten points from Ravenclaw for the use of profanities!" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

"Oho, but twenty points to Ravenclaw for the creative and very cool usage of swear words!" Professor Jocular shouted enthusiastically. The Slytherins looked positively furious. Blaise Zabini, however, kept his cool and swaggered up to Mandy.

"Oh, my! Whatever happened to your hair, dear, _dear_, Mandy?" Blaise asked innocently.

"Don't play innocent with me, Zabini! Turn my hair back to its natural color, NOW!" Mandy started pulling and yanking at her highlighter green colored head.

"What makes you think that I did it?" Blaise asked, looking angelic and placing his hand over his heart, faking injury.

Everyone, including the professors and Slytherins, snorted.

"_That_ is your answer," Mandy snarled, her eyes darkening dangerously. "Now turn it back!"

"No," Blaise replied, crossing his arms over his chest nonchalantly and sitting down casually on top of the Ravenclaw table, somehow managing to avoid the chicken, steak, mashed potatoes, beans, and carrots that were in his way. "I like you better this way."

Mandy was temporarily surprised. "I wasn't aware that you liked me at all."

"Well, I do," said Blaise shrugging. "Your normal blond hair is just so……bright."

A few Gryffindors (i. e. the entire House) cleared their throats loudly simultaneously and turned to look at Malfoy.

"What are you lot all staring at? I know I'm hot, but you don't have to come onto me here," smirked Malfoy, the living, walking, talking, smirking, pratting mass of bright white-blond hair. "Besides, this is between Blaise and Brocklehurst."

"Zabini," Mandy was saying, "if you're not going to take this charm off, then you're going to have to suffer the consequences." She pulled out her wand.

Blaise's eyes narrowed dangerously. "_Bring it on, bitch_," he snarled, whipping his wand out dramatically. The whole of the Great Hall gasped.

Two jets of white light filled the Great Hall at the same time. Surprisingly enough, it seemed Blaise and Mandy had used the same spell.

"Noooooo!" Blaise wailed, clutching the area where his you-know-what _had_ been. "You evil little witch!"

Meanwhile, Mandy was clutching her chest, which was now suspiciously flat, rocking silently back and forth, eyes out of focus. The Great Hall gasped again in horror as she tottered to the left and crashed straight into the Slytherin table.

After Pansy Parkinson kindly helped her friend up, Mandy aimed her wand at the still-angsting Blaise. Suddenly he was all covered with tiny little dancing bunnies, each singing, "Happy, happy days! Out in the sunshine! Playing with bunnies and birds! We're going to have a real good time!" which sounded cute at first, but then turned to sheer horror and annoyance.

"Ha!" Mandy smirked. "My breasts are gone, but so is little Blaisie. And I get the last laugh. Literally," she added, before looking down at her own missing assets, her mood changing instantly. Stifling a sob, she passed out cold on the stone floor. Professor Flitwick charmed two stretchers to take Mandy and Blaise to the Hospital Wing and the two mentally damaged teenagers plus teacher trooped out of the Great Hall .

Ginny Weasley laughed loudly, breaking the silence that had ensued. Chatter broke out and dinner resumed.

Ginny started piling a plate with a huge mound of food, diving into it spectacularly a moment later. After thoroughly diminishing half of the plate in two minutes, she swallowed thickly, turned to Hermione, and said, "So…Harry told me what happened in Potions. How was the first day with the ferret?"

Hermione grinned inwardly. "Well, actually, it wasn't too bad. He's pretty good at Potions now. I suppose Daddy dearest must have made him study his arse off during the summer to try and attempt to beat me at something other than Quidditch, which is illogical since I don't even play. He's still as annoying as before, though," Hermione frowned. "That's definitely a minus."

"Maybe you could try earmuffs," smiled Ginny.

"Even the earmuffs wouldn't be able to block out his annoying ferret voice," grinned Hermione, glancing at the Slytherin table surreptitiously.

Before Ginny could reply however, the desserts appeared on the table and Hermione and Ginny both squealed in delight when they saw a huge plate of chocolate raspberry éclairs in front of them. On Hermione's right, Harry and Ron were shoving down treacle tart and chocolate gateau.

"Ah…look at them," Ginny sighed. "Is food all they think about?"

Hermione looked at her strangely. "Ginny, you're aware that you eat only a little bit better than them."

Ginny blushed. "Well, excuse me for growing up with Ron!"

"Good thing you didn't grow up completely _like_ Ron," Hermione added with a smile on her face.

--

When Hermione rolled out of bed the next morning, she screamed. The entire dormitory was covered in Stinksap, dripping neon green and yellow goo, fake spiderwebs, and most disturbing of all, miniature dinosaurs dancing to "Barney."

Lavender and Parvati woke up. And shrieked half their heads off.

Hermione could faintly hear other shrieks and screams coming from all directions. Who could have done this? She pondered. Who?

Then it hit her.

"BLAISE ZABINI!" The three girls cried out simultaneously.

--

"How is it possible to run out of water? I mean, it's Hogwarts! Water is supposed to be unlimited!" Hermione was muttering to herself as she came down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Hi, Hermione!" Ron called out. "See what happened this morning?"

"It's utterly impossible not to notice what happened," Hermione replied huffily. "I suppose you two had a nice, hot shower?"

"Yeah, we did!" Harry joined in. "Didn't you?"

Hermione turned away. Steam was practically coming out of her ears. "NO!" she yelled loudly at Ron and Harry before turning away again and pulling a plate of scrambled eggs towards her rather ferociously.

"Wow, what's up with her? I mean, not taking a shower every day might be emotionally scarring to some people, but Hermione's not that kind of girl," whispered Ron.

"I know," agreed Harry. "Maybe it's that time of the month again."

"You're probably right," Ron whispered back. "We should leave her alone for the rest of the day."

After breakfast came Transfiguration, where Professor Jocular, who replaced McGonagall as the Tranfiguration teacher, taught them to finally change an object into another object. By the end of the class, Harry's book had turned into a crinkled piece of paper with chapter numbers and titles on it, Ron's key had turned into a surprisingly accurately shaped doorknob, but unfortunately the doorknob was actually _on_the key. Hermione, however, managed to change her chessboard into a tablecloth, with no checks on it. Jocular awarded Gryffindor twenty points.

After Transfiguration, they all split up. Hermione had a double period of Ancient Runes next and Harry and Ron were headed off to the Gryffindor Common Room, to relax since they had a free period and then Divination. The three would meet up in Potions.

Gryffindor was awarded another twenty points when Hermione answered four questions correct in Ancient Runes. The only bad part about the morning, Hermione thought as she headed to the dungeons to Potions, was that she had to sit next to Zabini. Hermione hadn't exactly forgotten the morning's incident. However, Hermione was perfectly content to wait until Potions to have Mandy bash him and invoke her revenge.

Professor Slughorn waved a cheery hello to Harry, Ron, and Hermione as they took their assigned seats. Mandy walked in and immediately blanched when she realized that she would have to sit next to Blaise Zabini. Blaise, who was walking behind her, crashed into her when she stopped suddenly, almost as if she had sensed his presence.

As people started filing in after them, Blaise pulled Mandy into a small corner. "Like my prank this morning?" he smiled winningly.

"I have to say that I did," Mandy confessed. "You must have had to do a lot of complicated spells to get it to include all those dinosaurs and spread it around the whole school."

Blaise looked smug. "Well, I am one of the best in the school," he touted proudly.

"You're after me," Mandy replied, smirking and walking away with a Slytherin-ish swish of her robes.

Blaise frowned. There was something special about this girl that he couldn't put his finger on. Something different…

"Perhaps it's_ love_," Daphne Greengrass cooed mockingly as she passed by Blaise. Blaise stared after her in shock, then recovered after a moment. Ah well, Daphne's crazy as a bat, anyway, he thought.

"Since only Mr. Potter and his partner completed the most complicated potion, Amortentia, yesterday, today we will be brewing a more simpler potion: Veritaserum," Professor Slughorn announced giddily.

The class groaned. How was Veritaserum supposed to be easier than Amortentia? If anything, it was probably harder!

Hermione silently fumed in her seat next to Malfoy. She was going to kill Harry later! Everyone knew that Snape was very accomplished at brewing Veritaserum and since he had Snape's old book, Harry was bound to have the best potion, _again_!

"Something wrong, Granger?" Malfoy whispered. "Angry that Potter will beat you again?"

"Yes," Hermione replied from between clenched teeth.

"Ingredients and instructions are on the board," Professor Slughorn was saying. "Start!"

Daphne immediately slid over to Malfoy. "Hi, Draco," she purred into his ear, while Hermione looked away and tried the push away the burning sensation in her chest. Old feelings were coming back to her...or had they never disappeared? Hermione shook the thought away with a shrug.

"I'll go get the ingredients. Malfoy, you start heating the cauldron," Hermione mumbled as she stood very quickly and almost ran to the storage cupboard.

"Don't you have to help Potter?" Malfoy asked Daphne.

"Nope, he can do the potion all by himself. He made the potion yesterday all by himself anyways," Daphne replied, stroking Malfoy's hair. Malfoy frowned. Something was wrong with that sentence. Even a very talented potioneer couldn't possibly make Amortentia that fast. Something was definitely wrong here…

"Okay, I brought back the ingredients," Hermione said as she came back three minutes later with asphodel root, Shiitake mushrooms, a few branches of willow, beechwood, and ivy, some roots, crushed unicorn horn, some strands of unicorn hair, a vial of unicorn blood, and if not mistaken, unicorn skin. She noted happily that Daphne was getting a lecture from Slughorn. It seemed that he didn't like people visiting their friends during class.

Malfoy looked up from bending over the cauldron. "What's with the unicorn memorabilia?"

"Unicorns are supposed to symbolize purity, Malfoy, and I would like to think a love potion requires pure essences," Hermione replied scathingly.

Malfoy glared at her. "I know that unicorns are pure and all, I was merely posing a curious inquiry."

"You would know since you're such a pure-blooded fanatic and all, Malfoy."

Malfoy smirked. "That's right, Granger. "Acknowledge the fact, and soon you'll begin to accept that you're inferior to me."

"Right……" Hermione drawled out sarcastically. "As soon as pigs come flying out of windows."

As if on cue, a pig came flying out from the window above them. A moment later, another pig joined the first pig on the ground. Since Malfoy and Hermione were the closest to the window, they both saw this.

A cry of, "SORRY! WAND MALFUNCTION!" from upstairs snapped Hermione and Malfoy from the shocked trance they were in.

"That………was bloody scary," Malfoy whispered, turning around and still looking dazed.

Hermione nodded. "What were the odds of that happening?"

"A million to one," Malfoy jumped in quickly. They continued to stare at each other before they came to their senses and realized that they had actually agreed on something and were now staring at each other.

"The potion!" Hermione cried, making Lisa Turpin at the next table over spill some of the unicorn blood she was pouring in. Hermione earned nasty looks from Lisa and her partner for that.

"We haven't even started at all!" Hermione whispered after laughing nervously at the angry looks on Lisa and Orla's faces. "I'm going to fail!"

"Correction Granger, _we're_ going to fail."

"I don't care, Malfoy! My grades are more important than yours!" Hermione snapped. "Now get the potion started!"

Smirking slightly, Malfoy started the potion. Looks like Granger's showed her claws today, he thought with a mental smirk. I say, I like her better like this.

He immediately stopped stirring the potion and shook his head hard. Where did that thought come from?

"What are you doing!" Hermione screeched. "You – cannot – stop – at – a – time – like – this!" Each word was punctuated with a sharp slap to Malfoy's arm.

"Now, now, Miss Granger," Slughorn said reassuringly. "There's no need to get angry. You have plenty of time to finish – oh. Well, in this case...best of luck to the both of you!"

Yes, Malfoy thought after Hermione had shrank slightly into her seat with shame and embarrassment. The claws were definitely an improvement.

--

A/N - I'm trying to cut down on these, so the only thing I'm going to say in this is

Chapters 1, 2, and 3 have been edited for the last time on 8/23/07

and

Answers to those wonderful, wonderful, _wonderful_ reviews!

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing the paragraph on the "paybacks". I made up a whole list of the paybacks, but only got to using about half of them!

Dramioneshipper – Thank you! Yeah, I thought the whole Snape Malfoy kill Dumbledore thing might have been a tad hard to understand, so I put it as a question in this chapter. Hmm…about the Ball. Well, you guys will just have to wait to see! But if you remember what happened at the last ball, you might get an idea of what happens. But don't brood on it! I might change my mind about that layout and make Hermione get tragically slashed by a rogue hippogriff while Draco sobs pathetically at her side at the Ball. Anyways, DOUBLE KISS, Marine!

kriss – Hmm…I'll have to think about the catfight. Though I was leaning more along the lines of an inkfight and quillfight or a silent fight in the library using books…. But I suppose those two are catfights in itself, though.

Roxy Did What – Thanks, I'm glad you think I'm funny! (Hugs Blaise and Mandy.) Like I said above, I would be practically nothing without the antics of Blaise Zabiniand Mandy Brocklehurst.

Candi – Well, since I'm answering your review in a chapter, I guess I'm updating! Anyways, thanks for your review and a big thank you for the writing comment. I'm getting better at writing. If you check out Crossing the Line, you'll see that my earlier chapters weren't as good as these chapters. YEAH, another step to becoming a journalist!

Additional thanks to devil'lil', dragoneyes5000, and frankie girl!

Don't forget to review!

- Lily in a Pond


	4. Daphne is Disposed

Once Upon a Hogwarts- Chapter Four

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Seriously, swearing on behalf of the Seriously Serious Sirius Black, I DON'T own Harry Potter. Oh wait, he's dead. (Harry cries pathetically in background while Ginny hands him a tissue.) Well, you get my point.

Please read and review!

----------

Draco was lying on his bed, doing absolutely nothing but wasting time as he contemplated what to do with his free period, which was already halfway over. He could challenge Blaise to a game of chess, but that might turn into the last game of chess they had, which had included a thrilling battle between a bloodthirsty king and a rather ferocious rook. It had lasted for seven hours and Draco wasn't in the mood to skip dinner and classes just to beat Blaise at something. He liked winning, but he wasn't stupidly stubborn, like those Gryffindorks, especially that dense Weasley.

He could go and catch up on some homework and study a bit in the library, but bookworm Granger might be there. No, correction, she would always be there. Does she have a cot in the library or something, because it seems like she lives there! Draco wondered. Every time I go there, I see her hunched over a table...

He could always go downstairs and snog Daphne, like he used to during his free periods. But lately, Draco hadn't been feeling like he really wanted to, which was strange because usually snogging was a very enjoyable pastime. As Draco sighed and sank deeper into his bed, he wondered what had changed. Three years ago, Draco had been so sure that his Cinderella, his Daphne, was the one he loved. Now, Draco wasn't so sure at all. What had happened to their spark, their shared interests, their bond? It seemed like in one night, everything they had together was swept out of the window. What had happened?

As Draco lay on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling, Blaise Zabini snuck in and grabbed a Slytherin scarf and a glass of water. He crept out as sneakily and quietly as he came in without Draco noticing.

Sighing, Draco rolled over and grabbed the picture he had gotten from the Muggle Creevey kid, Colby or something like that. The picture showed Daphne and him dancing together, looking in each other's eyes. They were swaying softly to the music of the Yule Ball and Draco thought they definitely looked happy. What had happened to make their relationship so strained now?

-----------

Hermione was in Ancient Runes class when a note landed on her desk. Spying her name on the note, she quickly snuck a look around and then opened the note.

Hermione took another careful look around and wrote her answer on the back. She pulled her arm to throw it, then stopped, remembering that her aim wasn't that good. Instead, Hermione thought, _Wingardium Leviosa!_ and the tiny piece of parchment rose into the air, glided over to Mandy's desk, and flopped down on it.

Seconds later, another note went whizzing past her, reached Theodore Nott's desk to the right of Hermione, screeched to a stop midair, and took a U-turn back to Hermione's desk. Nott blinked and then went back to spacing out.

Hermione stifled a giggle. That bit of magic was pretty good.

_Do you dislike the Slytherins?_

Hermione scribbled, _Yes_, on the back, and cast Wingardium Leviosa on it again. Then she made a mental note to go to the library later and find out which Mandy used to charm her notes. It was an extremely useful spell.

Hermione then shook her head vigorously. Hermione Granger, the _ambassador _for goody-goodies, use a spell that normally was used for passing notes or sending flying missiles around rooms? she yelled at herself silently. What was I thinking?

Another note arrived. This time, it landed on Hermione's head, tangling itself in her bushy hair. Hermione winced as she pulled out a few curly brown hairs along with the note.

_Okay, good, here's what you can do to help out the Brocklehurst On Zabini Organization (BOZO). First, I want you to find..._

----------

When Hermione woke up on Friday morning, she felt instantly refreshed by the bright sunlight streaming through the window. Today, she and Harry would be getting their first Head duties! What made this day even better than it already was that today, Blaise Zabini would get his comeuppance.

All the way down to breakfast, Hermione couldn't keep a Cheshire Cat grin off her face. Harry and Ron asked her what was wrong, but Hermione only simply smiled mysteriously.

"Just you wait and see," she had said, and that was the end of the discussion.

"Moring, Hermione," said Ginny as she sat down in the seat next to her. "Nice weather we're having, eh?"

"Yes, it is nice," Hermione agreed. "Lovely bit of charmwork right there, enchanting the ceiling to have little birds flying around it." She struggled to keep herself from exploding with laughter.

As Hermione buttered her toast, she looked up for a moment and there it was, a big, fat pigeon, soaring towards Blaise Zabini.

SPLAT!

_"Ooh!"_ The Great Hall chorused.

"Argh! Stupid pigeon! Somebody get me a towel! A napkin! _ANYTHING!"_ Zabini was screaming as he frantically tried not to touch his gelled hair, which was now currently covered with pigeon poop. Goyle handed him a green snot-covered hankie. When everyone blanched, he protested, saying, "What? He said anything!"

"Wow, Goyle has finally shown signs of intelligence!" Malfoy mock-whispered. A shout interrupted the sniggers.

"Look!" someone from the Hufflepuff table was shouting. "More are coming!"

Though stating the obvious, that was indeed true. A hundred or so of pooping, peeing, pigeons were flying towards Zabini at top speed.

_**SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!**_ And so it continued.

Fifteen seconds later, the physical features of Blaise Zabini were no longer visible. He was now completely covered with pigeon poop and dripping with pigeon pee. It was absolutely revolting, to say the least.

"Hey, Zabini!" Mandy Brocklehurst shouted from the Ravenclaw table, standing on the table. "Why don't you use your wand?"

"MY WAND ISN'T HERE!" Zabini roared at Mandy. "BUT I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT! BUT YOU KNOW THE ONE THING I KNOW? I KNOW YOU STOLE IT!" he shouted, pointing a long, thin finger at Mandy, who feigned innocence. "YOU, MADISON ELIZABETH ALTHEA FAWCETT BROCKLEHURST, YOU STOLE IT!"

"I wonder how he knows her full name," Morag MacDougal commented thoughtfully from the Slytherin table.

"Hey, Blaise? If you would stop ranting for one second and look down, you'd see that your wand is in the exact same place it was since yesterday."

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Ew...he puts his wand there?"

"Well, you know what they say about wands," Ron said, leaning back in his chair. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny stared blankly at him. "What, you don't know? Wands love company. I suppose it's natural his _wand _wants another _wand_ there to be a nice companion."

"It's not _there_, you perverts," Blaise snapped. "She meant the left pocket."

"Now, just how do you know that?" Morag asked Mandy. Mandy turned red.

"Well - I - I'm just a very, very, very, very good observer."

"Anyways," Blaise cut in nervously. "You stole my wand and then returned it to make me look stupid, Brocklehurst!"

"Like_ I _would be able to think of a plan that is so smart, it's stupid!"

"HA-HA, well, my brain isn't afraid to handle that! Yesterday, I thought and thought and thought for hours, and then, I GOT IT!" Blaise screamed maniacally.

"Loony," Luna muttered. The Ravenclaws stared at her in shock. "Ironic, yes," she muttered.

"Then, after I saw your beauti - er - _ugly _picture on my nightstand, I discovered the perfect plan that was so stupid, it's smart!"

Mandy's lips twitched. "Continue."

Blaise thrust his wand (no, the other one...pervs) into the air and tackled Mandy to the ground, which must have hurt considerably seeing as she had been standing on the table.

"Zabini! Brocklehurst! Get off each other this instant!" Professor McGonagall shrieked, running towards the students while shooting jets of red light at them. Astonishingly enough, the random movements they made rolling around on the floor dodged every single one of the spells.

"You two! My office! NOW!" Professor McGonagall barked, abandoning magic and seizing the both of them by the ear. "Never before, in all my years at Hogwarts, have I seen a most audacious display of primitiveness, and by a pair of seventh years! And to think I was actually considering you two as Head Boy and Girl! Audacious indeed!" And then she stalked off, leaving Blaise and Mandy to follow meekly in her wake.

---------

"Hogsmeade trip next weekend," Ginny mused as she patted her hair down subconciously. "I wonder if red is too daring of a shade for this dance...oh, Hermione, look, Hogsmeade next week."

Hermione smiled. "Excellent! I need to buy new dress robes, the blue one I wore to the Yule Ball is simply too small."

"Did you get your Ancient Runes dictionary?" Ginny asked as they started walking towards the portrait. Ten minutes ago, Hermione had suddenly remembered in the middle of scrambled eggs that she had left her Ancient Runes book on top of her nightstand. Ginny had accompanied her back to Gryffindor Tower since she had nothing to do with the extra time.

"Yeah, it was right where I left it, so that made finding it a lot easier," Hermione laughed. "What color do you think you're buying?"

Ginny bit her lip. "I don't know...dress robes are fairly expensive..."

"Well, you know that Ron doesn't need new robes; Percy's passing his navy robes down to him," Hermione said. "And you could always get Harry to buy it for you."

Ginny shook her head. "I hate borrowing money. Still, I suppose something simple in a cheerful color would be affordable. What about you?"

"Well, I haven't spent any of the money that my parents gave me for my birthday, so I guess I'll poke around Hogsmeade for a bit. I don't want anything too expensive, just a dress with a nice, creamy hue."

"I see. I'm more of a vivid person, myself. I was thinking of buying a red dress, actually," Ginny said. "Do you think that's too bright for this ball?"

"What's wrong with red?" Hermione asked.

"Well," Ginny said, looking uncomfortable. "The HUB is a ball celebrating the fact that Hogswarts is still united as one as You-Know-Who is at large. I just know that I'm going to be thinking about that all during the ball. The atmosphere isn't just going to be the same as the Yule Ball."

Hermione and Ginny sat in silence for a bit before Hermione checked her watch. She gasped.

"Ginny, the bell's going to ring in thirty seconds!"

And so they dashed off to their respective classes, Charms for Hermione and Divination for Ginny, though Hermione honestly didn't know why Ginny even bothered to take that class. "Easy grade," Ginny had said, "You just make up rubbish, preferably about Harry dying and Trelawny will soak it all up and tell you have the makings of a Seer and give you O's."

Hermione slid down into her seat. She noticed that Blaise and Mandy were still gone and giggled quietly. Nobody knew that she had helped with Mandy's poop and pee plan. That was mostly why Mandy had wanted Hermione to help her. Nobody would dare suspect innocent, goody-goody Hermione Granger, the bookworm who all the teachers loved! Needless to say, Hermione was getting a bad influence from Ginny and her brothers, Fred and George.

Halfway into the lesson, Hermione heard scuffles near the door. Professor Vector opened the door and gasped. There, rolling on the floor, was Blaise Zabini and Mandy Brocklehurst, clothes rumpled and adorned with funny marks on their necks and faces, probably from attempts to strangle and claw at each other.

"Mandy Brocklehurst! Blaise Zabini! This is absolutely……………astounding! However, such actions must be punished..." The professor sighed, looking deeply saddened. "One point from Ravenclaw and Slytherin."

Judging by how many points Professor Vector took from their houses, Hermone concluded that Professor Vector must also be an advocate of the students.

"Now, you two, please go in and sit down. Everyone else, five points to each of your houses for being spectators."

Professor Vector was also very nice, just in case if you didn't know that already.

Grinning, Mandy sauntered into the classroom, but not before whispering, "She said my name and house first, Zabini." Blaise immediately whispered back, "Who cares?" and kicked her foot.

At potions, Hermione barely stifled a giggle when she saw Blaise surreptitiously conjure a 'kick me' sign on Mandy's back. Harry and Ron, however, snickered loudly when Mandy gestured to a special area and Blaise immediately turned white.

"Settle down, children, settle down," Slughorn said, rapping his knuckles loudly on his desk.

"Hey, Ron, don't you think it's weird that Slughorn has lasted more than a year?" Harry whispered to Ron, before sitting down into his seat.

"You _just_ noticed that?" Hermione asked incredulously. Good god, they must really be thick!

Harry opened his mouth to say something back, but when he saw Slughorn coming towards him, he instead made a rather rude hand gesture at Hermione quickly.

He's been hanging around Ron for too long, Hermione thought sadly. Well, actually, I'm surprised Harry's lasted this long, what with them being together for seven years.

"Today we are brewing half of Felix Felicis. This potion will probably take you about two months to brew, so you'll be spending a lot of time working on this over the next weeks."

Ernie Macmillan raised his hand. "Professor?" Slughorn nodded in his direction. "Sir, why are we brewing these complicated potions this year?"

Rather brave, Hermione noted. I suppose it's the absence of Professor Snape.

"It's seventh year, Macmillan! Times are changing, people must build a stronger defense,and you need to know about these complicated potions because in times like these –" he lowered his voice dramatically, " –you will need them."

The class shivered in unison, then laughed nervously. There was something sinister about the choice of words that Slughorn had used, Hermione thought. It was as if he expected the whole class to fight against Voldemort, using potions.

"So, Felix Felicis!" Slughorn's voice had returned to it's regular booming sound.

Hermione stood up to get the ingredients, but Malfoy pushed her down.

"I'll get the ingredients this time, Granger," he sneered. "Don't want Slughorn thinking you're doing all the hard work."

Hermione said nothing, but thought, Well, at least I'm getting a little closer to him. Physical contact.

-----------

Half an hour before dinner, Hermione headed off to the library to get a new book for Arithmancy. To her dismay, Daphne Greengrass was reading a book in the same aisle Hermione's book was in.

Daphne looked up. "Oh, it's you, Mudblood," and put down her book.

Hermione was reaching for her book when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Stay away from Draco, Mudblood," Daphne hissed menacingly. "He's mine, Granger, and he'll never be yours."

"What makes you think I want to steal him away from you?" Hermione asked, heart thumping loudly.

"Oh, come off the innocent act, Granger. I've seen the way you look at him." Her eyes narrowed. "You just want to steal Draco away from me because you were the girl that he danced with at the Yule Ball, weren't you, _Cinderella?_ Well, too bad. He's mine, and mine only. Not yours. You can do all you want to get him to notice you and realize that you were the girl at the ball, but that isn't going to work because he still believes I'm his Cinderella girl." She smirked widely. "And there's nothing you can do to change that because Draco's in love with Cinderella, and Cinderella is, for the moment, _me."_ Daphne smirked again and turned on her heel.

"I _won't _be seeing you later, Mudblood."

Hermione was so angry, her blood was boiling, a lump had rose into her throat,and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Suddenly, a heavy bookshelf fell on an unsuspecting Daphne Greengrass, who just happened to be under that particular bookshelf.

Hermione rubbed her eyes. Could it be? Did she just lose control of her magic and cause a bookshelf to fall on Daphne Greengrass? Was Daphne dead?

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" Madam Pince screeched, striding over. Hermione gasped and quickly ran past booksleves, twisting and turning, zigzagging, until she was safely out of the library.

Surely a bookshelf can't kill you. Right?

To be safe, Hermione ran down the steps to the Great Hall for some dinner. If there's one thing she had learned from her Muggle childhood, it was that

1) The guilty party was always the first one to deny anything.

2) The guilty party is always at the scene of the crime.

3)The guilty party is always the one to inquire about the incident.

Besides, Hermione didn't have enough Galleons to pay for the accidental death insurance Daphne's family would probably have.

But as Hermione greeted her friends at the Gryffindor table, she was unaware that a pair of eyes had followed her from the library and had now sat down at the Slytherin table.

----------

A/N-Sorry guys, I was really busy this weekand and didn't have enough time to work on it and submit it. I had a load of tests to study for and two major projects due.

Anyways, here are some replies to reviews.

Bloody Priestess – Wow, thanks! I LURVVVVVE long reviews like yours! I'm grateful for the Blaise and Mandy talk, makes my life easier when there's a distraction that's fun and easy to write about. LOL-ing in public? I do it all the time! 'Course, people stay away from me, but that's okay. I'm simply letting out my emotions.

Dragoneyes5000 – Thanks, I loved the Blaise/Mandy duel too. There's more coming up, including THE BIG DUEL in about two or three more chapters. Involves, forks, knives, food, a flock of ravens, a bunch of hissing snakes, and a ton of madness.

dramioneshipper – Heck yeah, I want a kiss showdown! But before I wow you with my amazing verbal kiss skills, I want to say that I had a lot of fun writing the duel scene and the pigs flying out of the window scene was completely a quirky idea I came up with in science during someone's Powerpoint Presentation. I mean, that stuff that seems so natural to happen at Hogwarts why not use it? CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM KISS WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS, FROSTING, SPRINKLES, AND A LITTLE CHOCOLATE HOUSE ON TOP! (I know, believe the craziness……)

anonymous(AKA Joy) – The shrinking spell so does make sense! If it didn't why didn't any of my other reviewers ask about that? And besides, it's part of the "humor" past of the story, but I think I already told you that already.

Additional thanks to Bloody Priestess (Ch 1 and 2) and White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez.

Edit 3/18/07 - Changed the 'fight' between Mandy and Blaise a little bit and fixed that wand problem I said I would fix, but didn't until now.

9/7/07 - I've just finished the last edit for this chapter. I goofed with Mandy's full name, so that's fixed now. :D

You guys rock!

-Lily in a Pond

PLEASE REVIEW!


	5. A Very Strange Series of Events

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Five

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Woot! Talent shows suck and rock! Woot! Woot!

As you can see obviously above, I am definitely _not_ JK Rowling and therefore not the owner of Harry and Co. because JK Rowling would not be wasting her time jumping and screaming about a talent show, she would be busy taking care of her kids and baby and writing the seventh book, WHICH HAS YET TO COME OUT! (hint hint)

Please read and review!

--

Theodore Edmund Nott was grinning at the Slytherin table, looking utterly out of the place in the sea of scowls. If someone had looked at him closely, they would have seen the maniacal glint in his eyes. But since even the Slytherins were interested in eating, nobody did and Theodore's slightly crazy side was overlooked.

Theodore had just returned from a very exciting encounter he had secretly witnessed in the library. There he was, researching the constallation Gemini for his Astronomy project, when he heard a familiar voice. Daphne Greengrass, had just admitted that Hermione Granger was the one Draco had danced with at the Yule Ball three years ago.

"Daphne," he sighed softly. "My poor, precious Daphne. She only wanted a shot at love, but it all spiralled into one big mess..."

Daphne Olivia Greengrass was the one Theo knew he loved. He had liked her when they had first met on the train to Hogwarts, but it wasn't until third year, when hormones had kicked in, that he really began to develop a crush on her. She was his first love, and she was his true love.

When Daphne went with him to the Yule Ball in their fourth year, Theo was elated. His true love was finally reciprocating his feelings, or so he thought. But on that night, Draco Malfoy had asked his beloved Daphne to be his girlfriend, and she had accepted. That hurt him the most.

But now, Theo had information, information that could finally break Daphne and Draco apart. After they separated, Daphne would of course be heartbroken and sob all day, and Theo would be there to pick up the pieces. He smiled. He could almost imagine the rest of his life with her: a beautiful engagement ring and a proposal on top of the Eiffel Tower, a grand wedding that would keep the wizarding community talking for decades, a charming manor house in the country, and finally, two adorable brunette children sitting on their laps as he and Daphne watched the rain cascade down their frosted glass windows.

And all he had to do was break them up.

"Does anyone know where Daphne is?" Malfoy asked. Through the noisy sounds of the Great Hall, Theo heard a fork clatter loudly on a table and knew that however many forks were dropped at the exact same time, he was sure this one belonged to Hermione Granger.

Theo was still a bit angry at what Granger did to Daphne, but he supposed that was what happened when girls got really angry and lost control of their magic. Besides, Granger was probably upset at what Daphne was saying, which he personally thought was a bit over the edge, but still, it was _Daphne_. Daphne was an angel...she could do no wrong.

"I think I saw her in the library talking to Granger," Blaise Zabini said after a while. "Dunno why though."

"You don't know why you saw Daphne in the library?" giggled Pansy Parkinson. A few years ago, Pansy had been incredibly in love with Malfoy, but now, thankfully, she had abandoned the squealing fangirl phase and moved on to some Ravenclaw, Anthony or Anton Goldfish...well, whatever his name was, he would make a better boyfriend than Malfoy.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Why was she talking to Granger, though?" Malfoy asked. "It's not like Daphne had anything to talk to Granger about."

Theo snorted softly into his goblet.

"Well, I didn't hear their conversation," answered an annoyed Blaise. "I was too busy trailing Mandy Brocklehurst."

Suddenly, Pansy flew into an intense coughing fit. "You mean stalking your favorite person," she choked out between wheezes.

"Are you all right?" Theo asked. If there was one thing Theo couldn't stand, it was sick, coughing, sneezing, wheezing, hackling, snotty, pathetically sickly weak people.

"Oh, I'm fine, Theo," replied Pansy nonchalantly, waving her hand in the air casually. "It was a joke, Blaise! It's not like you and Mandy are actually _dating_." She winked at Blaise.

"So!" Blaise said loudly. "I was thinking of a whole bunch of us doing _Aguamenti_ at the same time to drench Brocklehurst. How 'bout it?"

"No thanks," replied Pansy. "Whatever happens between you and Mandy is strictly none of my business. Besides, Mandy and I are friends." She then looked pointedly at Malfoy, who gulped.

"Yes, yes, well, I don't think I'll be joining it either," said Malfoy hurriedly. "I have to……er……comb my hair." He blushed after this. "Er……comb some _books_."

Theo smirked.

"Well, what about you, Theo?"

"No, thanks, I have to study for a Divination exam."

"You don't take Divination, Theo," Pansy said flatly.

Theo smirked again. "I know."

"Morag? Please say yes, I can't handle her on my own; she's got the support of the Hufflepuffs and the Gryffindors!"

Morag MacDougal leaned back into his chair. "As much as I would have loved to say yes and pour water on an innocent girl - " Blaise snorted " - I say no for obvious reasons."

"And what exactly are those reasons?" Blaise demanded.

"One, she's gonna cream you anyways, with or without our help, so I'm not going to interfere and get myself on her bad list, and two, your plan is retarded."

Blaise gave him the finger.

"Hey, hey, no rude gestures at the dinner table!" Morag exclaimed. Blaise gave him the finger, too.

"Anyway," Draco cut in to what could've been a very exciting and climatic fistfight, "if anyone sees Daphne, tell me, alright? I'm really worried about her."

Pansy blew bubbles in her glass of pumpkin juice.

"I'm serious about this. I think we're drifting apart day by day," he continued.

Blaise blinked. "...Maybe that's because you are."

Draco looked affronted. "I certainly do not think so! Well, I have had my share of suspicions - "

"Well, there you go," Pansy said. "Always follow your gut feelings."

"But," Draco ground between his teeth, "I do think we're just going through a rough time right now, so if anyone sees her, kindly inform me."

"Yeah, I'll inform you where you can go stick your bloody high nose," Theo muttered darkly. Blaise choked on his pork chop.

--

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Ginny asked, peering into Hermione's face. "You look a bit worried..."

Luna Lovegood glided by their table. "She's fine, Ginny. Though, perhaps, Hermione, you might actually try to talk to him about it." Luna then glided away back to the Ravenclaw table, leaving Hermione shocked and Ginny confused. Then Ginny's eyes lit up with realization and she moved closer to Hermione.

"Oh, Hermione, it's okay," she reassured her, patting Hermione on the back. "You'll get him to like you, it's not your fault that he just seems to like Lavender right now. But guys are just like that - looks over personality any horny day."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione was confused for once.

"Ron! You know, the guy you might want to talk to?"

"Ginny!"

"What? Luna meant Ron, right?"

Hermione stood up and banged her fist on the table in frustration. "NO! I DO _NOT_ LIKE RONALD WEASLEY! I SPENT SEVEN YEARS AT THIS SCHOOL, AND EVIDENTLY NO ONE HAS BOTHERED TO PICK UP ON THAT LITTLE FACT."

The Great Hall fell immediately silent. Hermione could hear the loud, obnoxious giggles of Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode and the snickers of the Slytherin boys.

"Oh, shut up, you lot," said Ginny angrily. "Hermione doesn't have a crush on Ron, she likes Harry."

The Great Hall was even more silent after this, with the absence of the Slytherins' laughter.

"NO, GINNY! I DON'T LIKE HARRY _OR_ RON!" Hermione was practically spouting steam by now. "Now if all of you are done staring, I would like to eat my dinner in _peace_!" She sat down heavily on her seat, pulling a plate of lamp chops near her. After chewing viciously, Hermione looked up and saw everyone still staring. "What is your problem? Are you really interested in this ridiculous situation? Shoo!"

No one reacted.

"Hey, Pansy," Mandy Brocklehurst said loudly, to break the uncomfortable silence that had continued, "Did you and Anthony do it yet?"

Everyone groaned and started mumbling things like, "This is definitely not the time," and, "A little too much information," and went back to eating.

Mandy winked and called, "Works like a charm every time, Hermione."

Hermione smiled weakly and stood up. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight, guys. Bye."

"Wait, Hermione! Are you going to watch us tomorrow at Quidditch practice?" Harry called after her. Oblivious, Hermione thought. I just had a very embarrassing moment involving him and Ron, and he's still in the Quidditch-zone.

"Depends on what time," Hermione replied without turning around.

"Five – "

"Count me out, then."

As Hermione stepped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait, she noticed that a note was pinned to the wall next to it.

After she had scanned it, Hermione gasped.

_If you have a blue earring missing, brown eyes and brown hair, and attended the Yule Ball in your fourth year, please come down to breakfast tomorrow holding a book._

Hermione smiled. She didn't know who put the note on there, but maybe, just maybe...good things were finally going to come her way. She grinned to herself.

"The boy who left this here was awfully rude, my dear," said the Fat Lady. "He's one of those Slytherins, you know. He had the gall to tell me to go do rude things to myself when I wouldn't let him in! Can you believe that? Children these days are so impetuous. And speaking of that," she bent down so that she was face-to-face with Hermione,"I heard from my friend Tabitha that two girls had a wild catfight in the library today, and then one of them was apparently pushed into a bookcase. She's now in the Hospital Wing," she whispered. "Isn't that just mad?"

Hermione managed a weak smile at the Fat Lady. "Yeah, it really looks like the entire school's off their chumps."

--

The next morning, Hermione woke up early and nearly tore her bookshelf apart to search for the perfect book she could carry down to breakfast. At first, Hermione was going for appearance, as she remembered what Ginny had said last night (looks over appearance any horny day), but then she decided that Draco needed a distinct clue to figure out who among the many brown haired and eyed girls that were missing a sapphire earring and attended the Yule Ball was his real Cinderella. So then, Hermione decided to pull out her favorite fairy tale book, Cinderella, for symbolism.

Feeling bright and confident, Hermione was sure nothing could go wrong.

She immediately took that thought back when she stepped into the Great Hall.

The first thing Hermione saw upon entering was at least a hundred girls swarming around Draco Malfoy, each carrying a book and screaming, "I'm your Cinderella girl!" or something along the lines of that.

Obviously, the rumor that had flown around three years ago was now confirmed. Draco Malfoy _didn't_ choose the right girl the night of the Yule Ball.

To make it worse, Hermione spotted Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini sitting near Draco, accompanied by Pansy Parkinson, all wearing identical smirks. There was probably only one thing the smirk meant: they _knew_.

"Hey, Hermione!" Ron popped up suddenly from behind her. "I heard that Malfoy's looking for some girl that he missed or whatever three years ago."

"Well, I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione lied.

"Apparently, people are saying Malfoy picked the wrong girl at the Yule Ball and now he wants a chance to shag every girl carrying a book or something to pick who the new girl is," said Harry appearing in front of them, wearing rumpled robes and a disgusted look. Ginny soon appeared behind him also, robes also crinkled, and added, "Zabini, Parkinson, and Nott all know too. That's why they're smirking so widely."

Wrong, wrong, and definitely wrong, Hermione silently screamed at them.

"No, actually, Blaise, Pansy, and Theo wrote a note or something to all the girls at Hogwarts, irregardless of their house, because they know that Daphne Greengrass isn't the real Cinderella girl. They're trying to help Malfoy find the person he fell in love at the Yule Ball," said Luna Lovegood, appearing behind them and making them all jump three feet in the air. The four of them stared at Luna.

"...I like the other version better," said Ginny suddenly, breaking the silence that went on after Luna's surprisingly true comment.

"Yeah, me too," agreed Harry and Ron. Hermione shook her head disapprovingly. Disgusting, sick-minded, people, she thought.

"Hey, what's that book you're holding?" Ron asked.

Hermione gasped. She had forgotten all about her book. "Erm, it's nothing. Just a little...research I'm doing for a project. It's about how...erm...life imitates literature." She blinked and Ron, Ginny, and Harry slowly nodded, seemingly understanding. That was the fastest lie I ever told, she thought. Maybe I should do it more often...

Hermione managed to get through breakfast without slipping something out about what she knew about the rumors. When the bell rang, Hermione was so lost in her thoughts and didn't hear the bell, so she had to dash quickly to her first class this morning, Ancient Runes.

Hermione didn't realize that she had left her book on the table and when she had stood up, the book fell on the floor.

A few hours later, the book was still on the ground...

"...Look, I really like Anthony, so I don't think there's anything you can do about that," Pansy said, her voice slightly echoing as she and Draco neared the empty Great Hall (Professor Jocular had let their NEWT Transfigurations class out early).

"But he's so impoverished, Pansy! Whenever I think about you two spending the rest of your lives together, I cringe with the mental agony! You won't have that white wedding you wanted, or that huge diamond ring, or an eight-bedroom mansion! Hell, you'll be lucky to afford three bedrooms!"

"Who said I was going to marry him?" Pansy asked curiously.

Draco rolled his eyes. "It was a hypothetical situation."

"Oh. Well, you should've made that clearer. Anyway, that's all fine, Draco. Those things can come and go, but you remember what happened in our sixth year, don't you?"

Draco stopped in his tracks but said nothing.

Pansy continued. "Look, sometimes you have to choose between what you want to do and what you should do. And well, my sense of propriety took over." She laughed bitterly. "I didn't even think I had a sense of propriety before I..." She looked umcomfortable. "Well, that's that. Anyways, I just feel that I owe it to him. Call me crazy, but I know it's what I'm supposed to do. I have to go now; see you later, Draco."

Draco stood there silently.

Pansy's voice rang out through the empty hall, making him jump. He thought she had left. "You know, when a girl finishes a great gushing of feelings like that, the guy is supposed to walk on, feigning indifference. Get a move on!"

"Oh. Right," Draco said, and hurried into the Great Hall. His eyes landed on a slightly shabby looking leather-bound book with a title in fancy gold script.

_Cinderella_, it read on the top.

Instantly all thoughts of Pansy and Anthony swept out of his mind. Was it possible that his Cinderella girl actually was there in the Great Hall this morning, but didn't reveal herself to him? Was it possible that his real Cinderella was still there waiting for him after all those years? Was it possible…?

There was only one thing he could do to get a step closer to this mystery. He opened the book.

_Hermione Granger_, it read on the inside cover in neat cursive. Draco groaned. Well, this definitely dashed all his hopes. Granger couldn't be his Cinderella girl!

Or could she? refuted a nagging little voice in the back of his head. She does have brown hair and brown eyes...

Yes, along with the other three million brunette girls, Draco snapped at the voice. But this is suspicious...I have to talk to Granger about it. Maybe she knows something that I don't about the Cinderella girl.

Two loud voices were heard arguing behind him and Draco quickly stuffed the book in his bag.

"I'm telling you, Mandy, size _so_ does not matter!" Draco immediately recognized Blaise's voice. And………Mandy? What was Blaise talking about with Mandy Brocklehurst, his sworn enemy?

"Well, if you could admit it yourself, then don't be such a hypocrite about it!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

"Be that way!"

"Don't worry, I will!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

Blaise and Mandy stormed into the Hall, not noticing Draco at all. They each sat at their respective tables and blew their hair away from their eyes.

Mandy was mumbling some, er…interesting things under her breath.

Blaise was fuming and the plates in front of him seemed to emitting red sparks.

Suddenly, Mandy got a sneaky look in her eye and reached for her wand. Since Blaise was concentrating on the plates, he didn't notice Mandy point her wand at him.

Draco winced as a solid gold plate fell from a very high elevation in the air onto Blaise's head. Ouch, that had to hurt, he thought. Well, that just makes Quidditch practice tomorrow absolute hell. Daphne's still gone (by the way, where_ is_ she?), so one Beater for two Bludgers, no Keeper...yeah, that's going to be a nice practice.

"I know you're there, Draco," Mandy said suddenly as she placed the plate back on the table, making him jump in his hiding spot. "Relax, I'm not going to hex you," Draco's shoulders loosened slightly, "but if you say anything about our relationship to anyone, anyone at all, you will be so very deceased. See what I did to Blaise? That was just a wind-up. Thousands of plates will drop onto your head as I watch you suffer," she hissed sinisterly. "So be a smart boy, Draco, and keep your mouth shut."

"Oh, and by the way, the password to the Heads' Common Room is _Veritas in Lux_. Hermione usually goes in there after dinner to study and do her homework and stays there until nine-thirty, when she heads back to Gryffindor Tower. Have fun," Mandy smiled, the sadistic edge gone. She blew a kiss, turned on her leather heel, and walked briskly out of the Great Hall, leaving Draco at a loss for words.

--

A/N-Whoa, lots of things revealed in this chapter! Theodore Nott, suspicions of Hermione being of Cinderella, and Mandy and Blaise. I must admit, I am giving into that mistaken idea that Ravenclaws are mini versions of Slytherins by writing Mandy as very Slytherin-ish.

Speaking of which, we're even. Chapter 4 was late, but Chapter 5 revealed lots of info _and_ I finished it in four hours! Ha!

Ahh, my beautiful, wonderful, blithe reviews!

dragoneyes5000 – Hehe, this chapter's happenings was just the basis for the BIG DUEL! And as you know already, Malfoy didn't hear Daphne and Hermione. I would never let Draco find out so easily and quickly into the story! I mean, it's still three months until the ball! The Theodore Nott concept throws a little curveball into the plot, plus he adds something to the plot: he wants Draco and Daphne to break up.

dramioneshipper – Hmm, strange, the list of reasons wasn't even supposed to be funny! Ah, oh well! Whatever makes my story funny! GO GO HERMIONE! Hooray, she knocked Daphne out for two days! INFINITY KISSES WITH MOUNTAINS OF BEN & JERRY'S CHERRY GARCIA ICE CREAM, MARSHMALLOWS, CINNAMON POPCORN, A WATERFALL OF FUDGE TOPPING, AND COTTON CANDY CLOUDS ABOVE A CHOCOLATE PALACE!

Cheeky splash – Looks like you were right about your suspicions. Wow, _two_ people actually liked the bit about the guilty party! Hmm……….looks like random ideas really do work!And don't worry, history will repeat itself. Hmm, Hermione might not end up with Draco, eh? It's…………possible. JUST KIDDING! I wouldn't be _that_ cruel...or would I? (dun dun dun) And Madam Pince is just simply very passionate about the books.

me044 – Strangely, you remind me of myself when I'm reading a _really_ good fanfic….

Skavnema – Unfortunately, the 'evil prat' isn't dead. (reviewers boo in background.) But she _almost_ died!

Additional thanks to Joy (hehe, you lucky cherry, you get to hear a spoiler at school), spanna, Natural-181, and tomboycutie!

9/15/07 - Finished editing this chapter for the last time.

7/19/08 - hehe okay I lied. THIS is the last edit.

Please review!

-Lily in a Pond


	6. Let the Games Begin

Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Six

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Human Growth and Development is disgusting! (shudders) Now, see here, if I was Jo, I would not be freaked out about a man and woman's bodies because Jo and her husband has obviously done it, since they have the most adorable baby EVER! Seriously, Mackenzie is probably the best looking baby I have ever seen, with the exception of some celebrities' babies.

A/N- Last chapter, I mentioned that Draco found Hermione's Cinderella book. However, this only means that he thinks that something weird is going on, not that he actually _knows_ that Hermione is Cinderella. And besides, do you really think Draco will just suddenly accept that the girl of his dreams is his sworn enemy? (Well, Blaise and Mandy are an exception. But more on them later!) He is pretty in character in this story, except for the prologue. Anyways, just wanted to clear things up……..

Please read and review!

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Draco Malfoy was stumped. He had looked in the library, bullied a Gryffindor to check in their common room, and scoured all the empty classrooms, but still no Granger anywhere. Where could she be? Off playing dead in a corner? Or actually being dead? Draco paused from thinking to chuckle quietly at his own cleverness. A Hufflepuff standing near him squeaked and ran away in fright.

Draco looked around. People were staring.

He cleared his throat and attemped to smile. "Ahem, young fellow, do you happen to know where is Hermione Granger of Gryffindor?" he said to a terrified-looking third year.

"Um - I - I - I don't know!" the third year stammered out.

Draco rolled out and jabbed the boy's chest, noticing the Slytherin crest on his robes. "Well, then you shouldn't have bothered to answer me, you disgrace of a Slytherin! Why don't you just go back home?"

The boy burst into tears and ran away. There was an uncomfortable silence and Draco looked around. More people were staring.

"What are you lall ooking at?" he sneered. "Get lost!"

The students ran away, one particular short blond boy leading the pack.

"If I were Hermione Granger, where would I be?" Draco pondered out loud, walking down the corridor and mumbling to himself, which made him look like a male and blond version of Professor Trelawny. Draco didn't seem to notice where he was heading until he bumped head-on to a statue. He swore loudly and kicked the statue. However, this only resulted in a lot of pain in his toe, considering that his shoes were quite thin.

Draco then started pacing in place, thinking that it would probably be best if he didn't keep walking while thinking.

"Come on, Granger, where are you?"

Suddenly, a door appeared right beside the statue. Draco's eyes bulged out of their sockets. This school was a menace to common sense and rationality! his mind screamed.

Taking a deep breath, Draco slowly took a step forward and placed his hand on the doorknob.

Wait! his conscience screamed at him. Are you mad?! This door could lead to anywhere! Don't you remember that curiosity killed the cat?

Well, then, the cat had eight more lives left! Draco furiously yelled back, his frustration igniting now that he was starting to hear voices in his head, the universally known first sign of insanity. And screw you! I'll make my own decisions! You're just my conscience!

Why don't you go screw yourself? You haven't been laid for what, two months?

Draco gritted his teeth and grasped the doorknob again and – DIE, Draco, DIE! his conscience screamed at him – pulled.

Inside the room were Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley, talking quietly in whispers, and looking very surprised that someone had managed to come in.

--

Hermione looked up at the sound of a doorknob being turned. Stringy blond hair, not-so-sparkling gray eyes, an anorexia-plagued figure - her oh-so-handsome Prince Charming complete with a smirk. _Oh, that smirk._

"Malfoy? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question, Granger," Malfoy replied.

"Well, you obviously needed to find her since this room hasn't changed one bit," Ginny jumped in.

"Shut up, Weasley," Draco said automatically. "And why would you think that, anyway?"

"Because this is the Room of Requirements. It is a room that is the exact thing you need at the present time," said Hermione matter-of-factly, sounding like she was reading this from a book, which she had probably memorized for this explanation.

"There is no way I would be looking for you!" Malfoy tried to scream as quietly as he could. "Why would_ I_ be looking for _you_?"

Hermione smiled. "Because you found my book, didn't you?"

Ginny twitched in her seat.

Malfoy looked temporarily stunned. "Wh – how – what?"

"Malfoy, I'm not Crabbe or Goyle, I can actually figure out what I lost."

"Don't you mean Longbottom?"

"No, I mean Crabbe and Goyle." Secretly, Hermione agreed with him, but there was absolutely no way she was going to admit that out loud! "Anyways, now you're investigating into this Cinderella book plot, correct?"

"Yes," Malfoy replied miserably, wishing that he hadn't lost the upper hand in this conversation, accidently saying this out loud. Hermione and Ginny smirked. Of course, he never really had the upper hand in this conversation, but whatever, Ginny thought smugly, be delusional.

"I'm not going to tell you anything," Hermione was saying as she got up and walked towards the door. "You have to figure this out by yourself. Goodbye, ferret."

"What! How am I supposed to do this? This is too confusing!" He looked helplessly as the door closed behind Hermione.

"Well, _I'll_ give you some clues," said Ginny, looking at Malfoy. "You should probably write them down."

A quill, ink pot, and parchment appeared on a desk.

"How snappy! " Malfoy exclaimed. He dipped the quill in ink and hovered it over the parchment.

"One, she's your friend in a very complex and long way. Two, she's the correction to a mistake you made. Three, you once fell in love with her. And four, she will never be the girl you loved until you start seeing the wizarding world differently."

Ginny stood up, replaying what she had just done in her mind. "That's all the clues I can give you, Malfoy. I hope you and your true love are reunited soon."

Ginny closed the door. Leaning up against the wall, she let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"Ginny? What are you doing outside the Room of Requirements?"

Ginny smiled reassuringly at a worried-looking Harry. "It's about Hermione. Come on, let's talk while we walk. I need to go the kitchens for a snack...anyway, has Hermione ever told you she was in love and is still in love with Draco Malfoy?"

Harry choked on air, stopping immediately in his tracks. "Say WHAT? Hermione - Hermione Granger - _our _Hermione? In love with M-M-M-M-M-_Malfoy_? Please tell you're joking, Gin."

"I'm not lying. Did you notice that Hermione was seen quite a few times during the Yule Ball without her man-accessory, Krum?" Harry nodded slowly. "Well, she was with her other man-accessory, Malfoy."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "NO."

"Yes," Ginny said.

"NO."

"Yes..."

"NO."

"We can play your game some other time, Harry," Ginny sighed. "Anyways, she was with him. However, since Hermione was rather...different that night, Malfoy thought she was a Slytherin. And unfortunately for Hermione, that night, Daphne Greengrass was also wearing a blue dress. She didn't exactly tell me the details - well, Hermione didn't tell me anything at all, that little weasel - but I'm guessing Malfoy took one look at Daphne Greengrass' blue dress, brown hair, and brown eyes, and declared quite rashly, I might add, that she was his beloved soul mate. And then Hermione was sad...blah blah blah, filler content, and now, there is a huge problem. This is their seventh year...the last year they have together before they go their separate ways. And who knows, maybe Malfoy _will _become a Death Eater. But more importantly, Hermione doesn't deserve to be the one cowering in the shadows, only being with her prince in her dreams."

Harry grumbled. "...I hate it when you're right, Ginny."

Ginny laughed, but then quickly sobered. "Well, I hope Malfoy figures it out soon," Ginny said quietly. "Without Daphne in the way now, maybe he'll finally get a chance to see that all along, what he desired most...was already his."

--

As the sun came down, the birds moved to their beds, and the winds arose, a conspiracy was being planned in the library involving Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. It seemed that a few members of Slytherin House were getting fed up with seeing Draco with Daphne pretending to be Cinderella and wanted to do something about it. Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Morag MacDougal were all seated in front of a statue of a large pineapple, heads close together.

Suddenly, Theodore sat up. "Alright people, listen up. I've got what seems like a plan." It was pretty clear that Theo was the obvious leader in this group without Malfoy.

"For what?" Ernie Macmillan interrupted, striding forward into their group with Justin Finch-Fletchey, Hannah Abbott, and Susan Bones. Following them closely was Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnegan, Parvati Patil, Lavender Brown, and surprisingly, Neville Longbottom.

"Sod off," replied Blaise without looking up. "Wait a minute, stay here." Blaise leaned forward and whispered something to the Slytherins. They all nodded after a bit.

"What's going on?" Susan asked suspiciously.

"A conspiracy!" replied Pansy perkily. "Care to join?"

"It depends," answered a new voice. "Who's it involving?"

Mandy Brocklehurst, Anthony Goldstein, and Lisa Turpin had showed up also. Now, the formerly spacious area wasn't so big anymore.

"Anthony!" Pansy squealed as she rushed to hug her boyfriend.

"Brocklehurst," Blaise acknowledged, his face stoic.

"Zabini," Mandy said back, facial expression exactly the same.

As Theo explained his plan, Justin Finch-Fletchey was getting more and more confused. "But I don't really understand why all you Slytherins want Malfoy and Hermione together? Aren't you supposed to have some loyalty towards your housemate, Daphne?"

"NO." Blaise, Pansy, and Morag said together.

"Oh, alright," Justin said quietly, shrinking back into his overstuffed pink armchair.

"Look, this isn't about House loyalties or alliances or even friends, it's justice," Theo said. " As much as I like Daphne, I can't force myself to go along with her lies and deception anymore. The last few years were unbearable, but if Draco and Daphne ever ended up together after school, I couldn't live the rest of my life knowing that I knew Daphne robbed an innocent girl out of a happy ending. And the worst part would be that I knew about it all, but didn't do anything."

They were silent for a moment. Then -

" - Since this place is getting a bit stuffy with people breathing down my neck, how about everybody that wants Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger to get together adjourn to the Great Hall?" Blaise said loudly.

Madam Pince appeared behind a bookshelf and glared at them. "OUT! Now."

"Gladly," Morag replied cheekily as he and all the Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and the rest of the Slytherins marched solemnly out of the library, down the many flights of stairs, and into the Great Hall.

Students witnessing this memorable event will swear that they thought this was a demonstration march for Inter-House Unity, but alas, to the late Professor Dumbledore's dismay, it wasn't.

Too bad!

Once settled in the Great Hall, Ginny Weasley, Terry Boot, Orla Quirke, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley trailed by Luna Lovegood burst in huffing and puffing with the exception of Luna who was seemingly breathing regularly.

"Heard – Ginny – Hermione – Malfoy – going out – help – plan - must - Hermione - happy," Harry wheezed out. Although fast as Harry was, he wasn't particularly gifted in the endurance area.

Ginny and Ron's replies were mostly the same.

"Come, come, join us!" Theo called jovially from the center of the Great Hall.

A few Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors gaped at him.

"What? The Slytherins aren't all as cracked up as they're rumored to be," protested Theo.

Mandy nodded without even realizing it and Blaise and Pansy smirked knowingly. Luckily, everyone had their attention on Theo.

"Alright, this is what we're going to do," began Theo. "But first of all, is everyone in here with me on this plan to get Hermione and Draco together? Even you two?" He pointed at Harry and Ron.

"Yeah, Ginny told me _everything _and I told the abridged version to Ron," huffed out Harry. Apparently, he still hadn't recovered from his insane sprinting from the Gryffindor Common Room to the Great Hall.

"Now that I've heard the whole story, I really blame Malfoy for not picking the right girl and Hermione for pretending she was a Slytherin. If she didn't, Malfoy may have actually considered her as his Cinderella girl after all!" added Ron, smiling tightly as if there was something unpleasant in his mouth. Lavender looked at him sharply.

"Really? You seriously blame Hermione as well as Malfoy?"

Ron blushed when Lavender turned to him. "No...I kinda still blame Malfoy a lot."

"Whipped," Harry coughed.

Ginny suddenly cackled evilly, making some people jump. "I'm one step ahead of all you guys!" And then she proceeded to tell everyone of what she had told Malfoy in the Room of Requirements.

"Okay, so now Ginny's got Malfoy's mind whirling with the possiblilties, all we have to do is to make sure that he realizes Hermione is the ONLY possibility," Theo said, sounding very much like a dictator. "Somebody, write this all down."

Tiny Orla Quirke whipped out her Quick-Quotes-Quill and it started scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment. Harry blanched at the sight of the Quick-Quotes-Quill, remembering the fiasco that was his life in fourth year.

"So, we've got to present some scenarios to Draco. Make sure that in every opportunity, they get as close as possible and clarify some clues. Any questions?"

Harry raised his hand, then put it down, muttering, "Oh, what am I _doing_?"

"Yeah, Potter?"

"Right, when can we start?"

Theo chuckled, but immediately stopped and looked serious. "Now."

"All the Ravenclaws, go lament about some book that you read that tells of the fine line between hate and love or some sappy love story involving two enemies getting together to Hermione or Draco, like that Romeo and Juliet story, oh, I forgot what the characters' names were...Hufflepuffs, make an opportunity to mess something up or whatever if you see Hermione. And when she helps you, tell her that Draco did the same thing. Gryffindors, you do basically all the same things, but you have to be more creative since you guys spend the most time around her. And as for us Slytherins, we've got to convince Draco to put everything aside and take a gamble for an opportunity."

As the whole group nodded and scattered, Theo turned around and whispered, almost to himself, "Just wait a month or two and we'll see how you'll handle almost the entire seventh year forcing you two together. It's all of us against you."

"_Let the games begin." _

--

A/N-Well, you guys should get a pretty good idea of what going to happen next! The war is on!

For my wonderful, lovely, harmonious, and generally spiffy reviewers –

dramioneshipper-Well, this chapter should answer all your questions! But about the Draco realizing Cinderella is Hermione thing? It's not going to happen so soon. I mean, he's been thinking his Cinderella girl is Daphne for about three years now, so why is he going to give that cemented thought up for someone who he hates, but possibly could be Cinderella? Keyword: possibly. Nott? Well, the only way he's going to get Daphne is by breaking her and Draco up, so he's organizing that little conspiracy plot to get them apart as fast as possible. But in the end, Nott may not even end up with Daphne...dun dun dun! INFINITY MORE THAN YOU WILL SAY WITH TUBS OF BUTTER PECAN, MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP, COFFEE, ORANGE SHERBET, NEAPOLITAN, AND PEACH ICE CREAM WITH COCONUT FLAKES, BARS OF HOENYDUKES' CHOCOLATE, EVERY FLAVOR BEANS, CRUSHED OREOS, AND THE BIGGEST CHERRY IN THE WORLD ON TOP OF A SPUN SUGAR AND CANDY CANE MODEL OF DISNEYLAND!

Love Joy Hope-You spelled Theodore wrong. Haha. And I am SO not moving this story quickly! Nothing has even happened so far except for Draco finding out Blaise and Mandy, a conspiracy plot being organized, and Draco getting suspicions. Actually, that might be a lot of important stuff for the future.

Natural-181-Hehe, Chapter Five actually gave a lot of obvious clues for Mandy and Blaise's relationship, if you read _really_ carefully and between the lines and took notice of their "fight" outside the classroom.

Additional thanks to White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, Truth Like a Blazing Fire, Ms. Winters, carly, pinkicing101, dragoneyes5000, Christina A. Malfoy, absolutelyjoyful, and KyootNShort!

EDIT 10/09/07: Added the part outside the RoR when Harry and Ginny talk, took out some necessary sentences, and added in some other lines for comic purposes. This is the last edit for this chapter.

Please review!

Lily in a Pond


	7. A Feeling of Dread

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Seven

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: For she owns Harry Potter, for she owns Harry Potter, for she owns Harry _Potterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr_, which nobody can deny! Which nobody can deny! Which nobody can deny! The 'she' is but of course, J.K. Rowling herself.

A/N - KyootNShort - you are my 50th reviewer, so in your honor, I will send you an email telling how this fic is going to end. But please don't tell anyone else about Once Upon a Hogwarts' ending. BTW, the 100th reviewer will get something else, and so on for every 50th reviewer.

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Mandy Brocklehurst hummed a cheerful tune as she strolled lazily by the Charms corridors, looking out for any sign of Hermione Granger. She had been assigned to patrol the Charms corridor by Theo in hopes of lameting romantic Shakespearean sonnets. "You there!" Mandy barked at a wimpy-looking first year, who was trying to pass something to his friend, who looked equally wimpy. "What's that in your hand?"

The first year whimpered as Mandy came closer and closer, his friend long gone in a cloud of dust.

"Well?" Mandy said suddenly, making the first year jump. "Tell me or I'll hex you, and believe me, being a Ravenclaw seventh year _prefect_, I know some really nasty ones," she hissed, her eyes glittering with malice. The first year practically threw whatever was in his hand to Mandy and then ran away. "And ten points off Ravenclaw for –" Mandy stopped short in her sentence. "Er, I mean, fifteen points _to_ Ravenclaw for er……crafty plotting and um, honesty?" She shrugged and then examined what the first year had been caught with.

Mandy smiled as she looked at the Bada-Bing Bada-Bang Bombastic Bomb she was clutching in her hand. Mandy had levitated quite a number of them in her fifth year to Blaise Zabini's dormitory window. Of course, the old feelings of animosity were all gone now. Something better had replaced them.

"Oh hello, Mandy! Fancy seeing you here!" someone called.

"Hi, Hermione," Mandy replied absentmindedly, lost in her memories. "Wait…………Hermione!"

---------

While the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors were off gallivanting trying to find Draco or Hermione, the Slytherins were in their common room, discussing a very important topic: why they all hated Daphne Greengrass.

Well, Blaise was ranting and the others were listening.

"I hate Daphne Greengrass so much! She let a Bludger break my arm when I was trying out for Chaser in fifth year," Blaise had started the conversation by saying this very loudly and forcefully when he, Pansy Parkinson, Morag MacDougal, and Theodore Nott had walked into the Slytherin Common Room. "That was why I didn't make the team!"

"Actually, you didn't make the team because you didn't get any of the six balls through the hoops," Theo smirked.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "...Because of my injured arm!"

"Wait, aren't you on the team now?" Pansy asked.

"That's because Malfoy's the captain now...in fifth year, it was still Flint," Blaise said very slowly, as if the fact was obvious.

"Great example of how Slytherins always practice the fine art of favoritism," commented Morag MacDougal. "But along a less violent opinion, I personally hate Greengrass because she laughed at my new haircut and glasses last year. I mean, yes, being English and having a Japanese spiked hairstyle is rather odd, and having fruity little blue-framed glasses is rather embarassing, but she I knew that...yet she still made fun of me and called a fob, whatever that is..."

"I remember that day," reminisced Theo. "Why does 'fob' mean, anyway? My business associate - " the others stared at him " - in America told me it meant something that was 'retarded' or 'weird' and that a person is a 'noob' if they're fobby. But since I don't understand what retarded and noob mean, so I suppose it's just weird."

Morag rolled his eyes. "Well, whatever it means, it was rude of her to make fun of farsighted people with Japanese haircuts."

"She had good reason," Blaise said with a snort. "You looked like you had come off worse in a fight with a hair blowdryer!"

Morag glared.

"Daphne Greengrass is the evilest girl I have ever met!" Pansy exclaimed. "She knew that I used to like Draco and she kept flaunting their relationship in my face all during fourth year!"

"Well, you have a boyfriend now," Blaise said.

"Look who's talking, Mr. I-hold-a-Quidditch-grudge-that-happened-way-in-the-past!" sneered Pansy.

Blaise pointed all ten fingers at Pansy.

"What...the heck...is that?" Pansy asked, eyebrows raised.

"I'm giving you the middle finger times ten," Blaise explained.

Pansy's eyebrows rose even higher. "Okay then…" She pointed ten fingers at Blaise.

"Hey, don't you dare copy me!" Blaise exclaimed, using his pointed fingers to attack Pansy's.

This soon turned into a full-on finger fight, which was interesting at first, but turned a bit annoying.

"…Anyways……" Theo trailed off.

"And now we leave them to their finger fight," whispered Morag. "C'mon, let's go."

Theo nodded and they tiptoed out of the room.

---------

Ginny Weasley lurked behind a bookshelf, spying on Draco Malfoy. She had cleverly created a small hole in one of the books, silently. Of course, she would have to repair the book later, or else Madam Pince would go mad and smother everyone at Hogwarts with pillows at night.

"Ginny! What are you doing here?" came the slightly distant voice of Luna Lovegood. Ginny groaned. Why did Luna have to show up at such an inappropriate moment?

"Hullo, Luna. Lovely timing you have."

"Oh, were you spying on – " Luna's voice lowered about three pitches " – you-know-who?"

"Yes!" Ginny said, annoyed. "Now, shush!"

"Hey. Weaslette, you know that I have ears, right?" Malfoy said, as he came up behind Ginny, smirking.

"Oh, dear god Malfoy, I just thought those were extra pieces of particularly demented skin," replied Ginny without turning around. "I suppose not then."

Malfoy sneered.

"Would you like to try a carrot straight from the roots?" asked Luna, taking a carrot out from her bag.

Malfoy looked very puzzled by this. "Er….no...?"

"I thought so," said Luna, taking a very loud, crunchy bite out of the carrot. "Did you know that some carrots can tell who your true love is?" Malfoy's eyebrows shot up. "Yes, if one person eats a particular kind of carrot and tastes something unique to each of them, he or she should try to make many people eat it, because the only person that'll taste the same thing is your true love."

Ginny stared. Was Luna making it all up or was this really true?

"So, do you think you could get me one of those carrots?" Malfoy was saying, looking more interested now. "I mean, not that I don't already have a true love, but I just want to…er….check."

Luna was digging in her bag now. "Turns out I do have one right now, Malfoy. Must be your lucky day."

"What can I say? My parents bought a lucky star for me to be born under," bragged Malfoy, back into the cocky and arrogant git Ginny knew him to be now that he had what he wanted. "I was born rolling in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!"

"Well, at the time I was born, a shooting star swept past my mother's window in St. Mungo's," Luna added in thoughtfully, probably remembering some random fact about nebulas or comets or whatever.

"Alrighty, let's go Luna, before this git practically kills you for beating him at luck," Ginny said, grabbing her by the elbow and practically dragging Luna out of the library.

Back in the library, Draco Malfoy was feeling particularly pissed. "Loony Lovegood is luckier than me," he was repeating over and over again. "Not fair! My parents have more money!"

And then he left the library, with a rather girly fluff and huff and flipping of hair (yes, he was back to the hair he had in his third year).

Draco walked down to the Slytherin Common Room and went inside. The girls were everywhere. How was he supposed to do this individually?

"_Sonorus!"_ He pointed to his throat. "Will every girl here please form a line in front of me and take a small bite out of this carrot?" he boomed, his voice magnified times ten. He saw Pansy and Blaise over by the fireplace, having some sort of finger fight, and nodded to them.

"_Quietus,"_ Draco whispered and plastered a smile on.

"Alright, what do you taste?" Draco asked the first girl, after she had chomped down on quite a large bit of the carrot.

"Carrot. What do you think it should taste like?"

And so it went.

"Peach."

"Onions."

"My perfume."

"Grass."

"Mashed potatoes."

"Roses."

"Sugared parsley." Draco looked at Pansy strangely. "What?" she protested. "If someone could taste onions, then I could definitely taste the smell of deliciously sugared parsley," she finished in a hushed whisper, dramatically swooning. Draco shook his head and muttered something that sounded quite a lot like, "Mental."

"Beans."

"Lemon."

"Papaya."

"Orange rind."

"Gunpowder..." one fifth year said dreamily, eyes glazed over.

Twenty minutes later, Draco emerged from the crowd with no information, but a newfound respect for the Ravenclaws; they had to cope with weirdos like Loony Lovegood every single day.

Draco sighed and crossed off "Slytherins" from his list. He had been really hoping his true love was a Slytherin. After all, his Cinderella girl was supposed to be a Slytherin……right? Then he remembered Daphne. She was still in the Hospital Wing. I'll visit her tomorrow and let her eat the carrot then, Draco thought.

"I guess doing the carrot thing would be a bit useless at this point since she's still there," Draco mused out loud. But, heading back towards the library, Draco suddenly stopped midstep.

But what about that nagging little feeling in his head that something was wrong? Perhaps he should follow his conscience and head to Gryffindor Tower.

Draco nodded. "Yes...maybe my conscience is right about this," he said out loud. A few third-year Ravenclaws looked frightened and scattered. Draco sighed. "I have got to stop talking to myself...soon, all of Hogwarts will think I'm some sort of loony baboon!"

Chuckling at the mental image formed in his head, he ambled cheerily to the direction of Gryffindor Tower. But as he reached the Fat Lady's portrait, his eyes saw and his mind blanked.

Gryffindor Tower? Draco thought. Why did I go here?

The portrait hole opened and out came Hermione Granger, laden down with books and quills. "Malfoy?" she asked, looking confused. "What are you doing here of all places?"

Draco stared at her. "I...I...don't know. Why _am _I here?" Shaking his head vigorously, he cleared his throat. "Anyways, I'll be going now. Er...have a good day, Granger." He gave Hermione a strange half-grimace, half-smile and waved goodbye. Hermione was left standing there with an almost dreamy expression on her face.

"Hey!" she called out. "I'll - uh, I'll see you around," she said shyly. He turned around at the sound of her voice and made that strange face again.

"Yeah...I'll see you around, then."

Bouncing to the library, Hermione resisted the persistent urge to jump off a staircase.

----------

Harry Potter was strolling casually down the Charms corridor when he saw Lisa Turpin and Terry Boot explaining to Malfoy the story of Romeo and Juliet. Amused, he realized that this would probably be the most fun, trying to get Malfoy and Hermione together, he would have this year. Voldemort still was out there somewhere, and it would be up to Harry to hunt him down since Voldemort didn't seem to be showing signs of dropping dead one random day.

Harry rubbed his scar. Even though Voldemort couldn't see inside his mind anymore, and vice versa for him, his scar still occasionally prickled.

He's still out there, Harry thought grimly. Waiting for me to find him. And if I don't, he'll find me.

Ginny had suggested to Harry that he go to the Hospital Wing and get Madam Pomfrey to numb it or something, to stop the jabs and prickles of pain that were steadily getting worse. That seemed like a good idea to Harry. After all, Harry would surely lose fighting Voldemort with one hand clutching his scar in pain.

And in front of him was, surprise of surprises, Daphne Greengrass, who had been missing for the past few days, looking perfectly fine, but ready to murder someone.

Harry pressed himself against the wall, sighing thankfully when Daphne passed him without a glance in his direction, muttering something about bookshelves and filthy Mudbloods.

Just then, a burst of pain filled his head. Harry almost screamed and dropped to his knees, clutching his scar, rocking back and forth.

"Harry! Are you alright?"

Harry looked up and saw Luna Lovegood for the first time looking alert, all signs of dreaminess gone.

"I'm fine Luna, don't worry about me. It's nothing," replied Harry, getting up from the floor and brushing off his robes.

Suddenly, Luna's face was very close to his. Harry immediately drew back. Luna continued to look in his eyes and Harry noticed that her eyes were beginning to roll back into her head.

Then, in a voice very unlike her normal voice, she whispered, "Beware of who you trust……….someone is waiting to strike……………..waiting to strike on the night when magic is the strongest………..evil will rise again on the night………..keep your guard up, and never trust the people around you……..your enemies are feeding on your weaknesses. Whatever you do –" Luna's voice was cut off as she slumped to the floor, looking like a rag doll.

As Harry sprinted into the Hospital Wing with Luna in his arms, his mind was spinning with the possibilities of what Luna had said.

_"Someone is waiting to strike………waiting to strike on the night when magic is the strongest………"_

----------

A/N-Oooooooo, scary! That should leave something else for you guys to figure out. Sorry I took so long to update. I had a lot of tests last week. And I am very sorry about Draco and Hermione going to the Hospital Wing, it seemed a bit in my conspiracy plan for that. That will probably come in the next chapter or the chapter after next.

And here are the answers to the burning questions my reviewers have asked…

dramioneshipper – I don't really get that, but anyways! No more readers getting a little disturbed by the very vivid Author's Note. I like the conspiracy too. I have a funny feeling the conspiracy might take some extra chapters to write out. And Draco and Hermione will get together………someday in a country far, far, away. Just kidding. Somewhere in this story, that's all I can tell you. Alright, you want to figure out the clues? Just think of how everything traces back to Hermione. Like, the first clue, 'she's a friend in a complex way', think of who Draco is friends with. Then think of who Draco's friend's friend is. And so on. Told you the first clue is complicated!

Natural-181 – Due to your very persuasive methods, Daphne Greengrass is officially back in the story! I do like the conspiracy, don't you? What an awesome idea for me, myself, and I to come up with in about five minutes.

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Hehe, I should go apologize to the millions of people I stole that line from….

Elizabeth Winters – Let's just say that Harry is in because Ginny is in and Ron is in because Lavender's in too…..that seems like the most plausible solution to me. But feel free to assume any situation that would make sense in this story, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail for this……..too busy congratulating myself on making another cliffie….hehe.

KyootNShort – Yes, it is a bit scary. But the thing is that once one person from each house is roped in, everyone else does it too. Peer pressure. Join the crowd. And yes, Theodore Nott will definitely NOT end up with Daphne. For all her evil, she will die alone. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Anticlownperson – Nott doesn't really want Malfoy and Hermione to get together, he just wants Daphne! If Draco is with Hermione, then Nott can have Daphne. Plus, he wants it to be done really fast, the faster Daphne and Draco break, the faster Nott can have Daphne. But in the end……..well, see above review. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Imperial Goddess-123 – Oh, Mandy and Blaise definitely have something going on there. And yes, in a way, this story is rather like 'A Cinderella Story'.

Additional thanks to carly, Christina A. Malfoy, and dragoneyes5000!

EDIT 10/11/07 - Last edit for this chapter finished. Added in the "fob" part and scene in front of Gryffindor Tower, took some unnecessary parts out, and changed a few words here and there.

Tata folks! See ya next chapter!

-Lily in a Pond


	8. The Shakespearean Quality of Hogsmeade

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Eight

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but _somebody_ does. And that_ somebody_ is really making me twitch with anticipation of the seventh book……….

0o0

"Move."

"Move."

"Move."

"Excuse me," Morag MacDougal said politely to a Gryffindor, who gave him the evil eye when she noticed the Slytherin badge on his robes.

Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, and Morag MacDougal pushed through the crowd queuing up for Hogsmeade, with the exception of the latter, of course.

"Move."

"Move."

"Move."

"Excuse me, pardon me, coming through," Morag was saying as he attempted to squeeze through a group of Hufflepuffs.

"Why – do – you – guys – always – walk – so – fast?" Morag panted out when he finally caught up to Pansy, Blaise, and Theo, who were previously way ahead of him.

Blaise looked surprised. 'We don't. Everyone else simply moves for us and we pass through. You, on the other hand, are so polite that you wouldn't even think of pushing through with saying 'excuse me'."

"He's right," Pansy joined in. "You're always polite and nice. Too nice," she concluded after a moment of thinking. "Even to the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs."

"There's nothing wrong with being nice," Morag protested. "It's just something that your parents teach you when you're young."

"Unfortunately for Pansy here, her parents were never around when she was young, so she was usually at Draco's house," said Theo, in a bored tone. "And as you know, Draco's parents aren't very nice. At least not his father."

Morag nodded. He had seen Draco's father once. Just the simple sight of him had partially paralyzed him with fear, enabling him motionless for a few seconds. Of course, Morag had seen Draco's father in Knockturn Alley at night, which made it seem all the more scarier.

"Anyways, here we are," Blaise was saying as they saw the familiar shops and streets of Hogsmeade.

"I can't wait to get a dress!" Pansy squealed. "Do you think I should wear sapphire or aqua?"

"Does it matter?" asked Theo in an exasperated tone. "Whatever color it is, it's still blue! _Ravenclaw_ blue!"

Pansy looked deeply affronted. "Well," she said with an arrogant sniff and started walking away. "Be all hissy for all I care. At least I_ have_ a boyfriend."

"Fine!" Theo yelled back. "And I don't care if you have a boyfriend! I'm going to get my own soon!"

Everyone in the street stopped and looked at Theo.

Blaise tapped Theo on the shoulder. "Uh, you do realize what you just said, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, very funny," Theo snapped, looking peeved. "Theodore Nott is gay, ha-ha-ha. Now go back to whatever you were doing or I'll Avada you all!"

Theo put on his most menacing face (courtesy of lessons from Lucius Malfoy), and snarled, _"Now." _

Everyone quickly scurried away.

Morag looked mildly surprised. "That sure is something I'll remember once I'm out of Hogwarts."

A boy from Hufflepuff stepped up to Theo. "I'd like to congratulate you for coming out of the closet, buddy," he said, coming very close. Behind Theo, Blaise and Morag started cackling like madmen, holding on to each other for support. "And if you're interested in joining our club, it meets at –"

"Look, _buddy_," Theo said sarcastically. "If you want to keep your private parts, you'd do best to get out of my way."

Then with a swish of robes to rival Professor Snape's, Theo swept down the street, Blaise and Morag following closely behind.

The Hufflepuff looked dazed. "He talked to me," he breathed over and over again. "Theodore Edmund Nott talked to me."

0o0

Meanwhile, down the street, Ginny and Hermione were rolling over with laughter while Harry and Ron, who had just come out of Honeydukes', stared at them.

"What do you think caused this?" Harry whispered to Ron.

"Dunno," Ron whispered back. "Maybe something in the juice this morning?"

"Ron!" Harry said indignantly. "_I_ drank the juice this morning!"

"Oh. Sorry, mate."

"Well, we'll be heading off," Ron announced loudly to Hermione and Ginny, seeing as now, they could at least stand upright.

"We need to get our dress robes at Madam Malkin's," said Harry. "Er, bye!"

As soon as the boys' shadows had turned the corner, Hermione and Ginny stopped laughing at once.

"Nice acting," Ginny commented to Hermione.

"Same to you. I can't believe they fell for it!" Hermione exclaimed, stepping into the new fancy occasion store for ladies, One Magical Night. "They are so thick, they can't even figure out when someone is trying to ditch them when those people are right in front of them."

"Even though Harry is so sweet and caring, I have to admit, he's a bit slow on the uptake," Ginny said, following her. "And Ron, well I won't even start on him! God knows the gene fairy skipped out on him for the Weasley craftiness."

"The same kind you, Fred, and George have?" Hermione asked. She didn't even bother to say anything about Percy.

"Yeah."

As they closed the door behind them and took their first look around, Hermione and Ginny were rendered completely speechless.

There were dresses of every kind, every length, every color, every style, every fabric, every design, everything a girl could want for a dance.

"Wicked," Hermione and Ginny breathed at the same time.

In front of them, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were having the same thoughts.

Even Mandy Brocklehurst and Pansy Parkinson, who had just walked in, the two girls at Hogwarts who always had something mean or cynical or sarcastic to say, were silent.

Lavender broke the silence. "If this is heaven, then somebody give me a dagger!"

After this, the other girls started talking too about the beautiful dresses.

"Aren't you glad we ditched Harry and Ron, Hermione?" Ginny asked, but Hermione wasn't listening. Hermione was busy pulling out a large planner with various tabs of different colors sticking out the sides.

"Ginny, I made a list last night organizing the kinds and colors of dresses we should have, put them in files, and did some cross-referencing. And also –"

Ginny's eyebrows were raised almost to her forehead. "Hermione, who does this?"

"...Me..."

"C'mon, I'll show you the real fun of shopping. The only way you'll get something good is to follow Ginny's tips." Ginny reached into her cloak and pulled out a notebook. "What?" she protested. "You're not the only one who does this!"

"Anyways, here's Ginny's guide to shopping for the perfect dress."

Hermione flipped it open and read:

Part 1: So You Want a Dress

Step 1: First see if you have short or long legs. If you have short legs, do NOT wear a short dress or a dress showing any part of the leg at all. Long legs, lucky girls, you can wear any length of dress. Just remember, keep it PG-13.

Step 2: Second, choose your hair color for this event. Below is a color chart defining what color would look good with your hair. NOTE: If you have hair in a halfway color, do me and yourself a favor and consult Lavender Brown's chart, which is more complicated in subcategories than mine.

"Lavender has this too?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

Ginny shrugged. "Keep on reading."

Hermione looked down and saw an elaborate color chart with little squares of colors and fabrics at its sides that changed subtopics (brown, blond, red, black) every ten seconds. Wow, she thought. Where do these people even get these spells?

Step 3: Now that we have established the basic rules, track your calendar and see if you are to be having your 'monthlies' during this event. If so, do NOT wear any light or white material, such as a piece of gauze. YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE EMBARRESSED OUT OF YOUR MIND _IN PUBLIC_ AND NEVER LIVE IT DOWN. Of course, if you still want to, you're free to. Just make sure you put in –

Hermione slammed the notebook shut._ "Ginny!" _

Ginny had the tendency to blush and look down.

"Why, why, _why_, would you write this rubbish?"

"Hey, it's not rubbish!" Ginny protested. "It's really helpful!"

"To who? Girls who are menstruating out of their minds?" Hermione yelled. The whole fell silent after this. "That was really loud, wasn't it……?" She trailed off, blushing.

Ginny shook her head. "What a day. First Nott, then Hermione."

0o0

"So, where do you want to go?" Daphne Greengrass asked Draco, who was desperately mouthing, 'help me' to Blaise Zabini, currently shaking his head and laughing at Draco.

Draco's head snapped back. "Er….sorry…..didn't quite catch that bit, Daphne."

"I said, where do you want to go," Daphne repeated, looking a little annoyed that Draco wasn't listening to her.

"Oh, anywhere you chose is fine," Draco replied.

Daphne grinned. "This is going to be so fun!" she squealed. "C'mon, we're going to the new dress shop that's just opened up!"

Draco looked over his shoulder and made a strangling motion to Blaise, who immediately cracked up, holding onto the 'Hogsmeade' sign for support.

Behind them, Ernie Macmillan and Justin Finch-Fletchey grinned. This is the perfect time to strike.

Ernie and Justin quickly followed Draco and Daphne. But as they reached the door, and Ernie grasped the doorknob, they immediately were thrown back.

The store clerk poked her head out. "I'm really sorry guys, but we placed an Repelling Charm aiming for the boys without a girl."

"Why would you do that?" Justin groaned, rubbing his shoulder.

"You really want to know?" the clerk asked, eyebrows raised.

"No," said Justin, at the same time as Ernie, who said "Yes."

"Too many Peeping Toms," the store clerk replied dryly. "Whoever did the Repelling Charms on the dressing rooms sure screwed it up."

"Ugh," Ernie and Justin groaned at the same time, looking disgusted.

"Ten sickles says one of the Peeping Toms was Seamus Finnegan," said Justin.

"There is no way I'm taking that bet; you and I both know that Seamus has to be crazy to _not _do it."

"Hey!" Hannah Abbott said above them, peering down into their faces. "Why are you on the ground?"

"The stupid store chucked us out," Ernie replied sourly, remembering his bruise.

"What did you do to get thrown out?" asked Susan Bones, appearing next to Hannah.

"Apparently, we were born with a peni – "

"Ah! I get it!" Susan said hastily.

"Hey, why don't you guys go in with us?" asked Justin, pointing to the store.

"Why?"

"Malfoy and Hermione are both in there. And because the store lets boys in if they're with a girl."

Hannah raised her eyebrows. "Sounds like a really cracked up store."

"Oh well, we have time," Susan said, picking up her bags. "We'll go in with you."

"Thanks," replied Justin. He tried to get up. "Uh, a little help here?"

Susan and Hannah rolled their eyes, but dragged each boy up anyway.

0o0

"Alright, act natural, guys," Ernie whispered. "Be cool."

He opened the door easily and sauntered in, whistling. And immediately tripped over a rug.

"I'm learning _loads _about being cool," Hannah said sarcastically.

"Okay, let's split up," Susan said, after she and the others had dragged Ernie up. "Girls to Hermione, guys to Malfoy."

"Roger," Justin replied.

"You're losing it," Ernie told him. "I'm Ernie. _Ernie_."

Justin rolled his eyes. "I know."

At the other side of the shop……………

"Hermione!" Hannah exclaimed superficially. "So good to see you!"

"And Ginny!" Susan squealed just as loudly and obnoxiously as Hannah. "It's been so long!"

Ginny looked suspiciously at the two of them, then nodded slowly and said with a huge grin, "What a coincidence that we're all here! All the girls in your year happen to be in the same shop at the same time!" She threw up her hands. "What are the chances!"

"Hermione, these would look so ravishing on you!" Susan said, grabbing a load of dresses from the rack and practically shoving it into Hermione's arms. "Here, why don't you go and try them on!"

"I don't want to try them on – " protested Hermione as the three girls shoved her towards the dressing rooms.

"Ta-ta!" they sang as Susan finished looking the door.

Ginny immediately turned around and said sharply, "L.T.E.A.?" which was their name for the Love Thy Enemy Association, made up of conspirtors working together for a most noble cause: Bring Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger together.

"Yup."

"Let's get it started."

Meanwhile……….

"So Malfoy, waiting for your girlfriend?" Ernie asked casually, leaning against a wall.

Malfoy looked at him and Justin suspiciously.

"What do you want?"

Ernie sighed dramatically. "The only thing I want is to correct my mistakes in the past, and the only way to do so is by being in this shop, waiting for a most noble and brave lady to come out of the dressing room and steal my heart away again!" He sighed again. "But alas, thy true love may not love me ever again, for I have committed a most grave mistake three years ago, and still have not resolved it. And woe is me, for I will be suffering the utmost pain of not being with my lady love."

Malfoy blinked.

"And on that night in which a great and terrible mistake was made, my masked lady was unjustly substituted with a spinster as cruel and cold as ice. Forsooth, I have now come back to reclaim my honor and unmask thy true love…….," Ernie finished dramatically, placing his hand over his heart and sinking down onto the floor.

And almost as if on cue, Hermione walked out of the dressing room, looking like a goddess in the silver dress she was wearing.

Malfoy's eyes popped wide open.

"And setting all differences aside, I must now go and surrender myself to thy lady love, for life without her is not life at all," Ernie said, suddenly springing up.

Malfoy's eyes widened even more as he realized that the girl in the silver dress talking to the clerk wasn't Daphne after all. It was Hermione.

Daphne came out of another dressing room and snatched up her handbag. "Come on Drakey, this shop is filthily polluted with Mudbloods. Let's go."

As Daphne dragged Malfoy out of the shop by the hand, Ernie finished his monologue.

"To thy fair lady love, in time and space will we be forever reunited and all mistakes forgotten as I shall finally realize that thy masked lady is thy enemy."

"Amen," Justin commented. "And love thy enemy, oh great Dragon, for that is the love of fairy tales come true."

Next to him, Susan, Hannah, and Ginny applauded him and Ernie enthusiastically.

0o0

A/N- Whew, that was longer than I expected! Probably should have cut off some of the dialogue…….

Anyways, here are the answers to the questions and statements my wonderful reviewers have asked and said…

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Thank you, I find that I'm getting better and better at writing cliffies (though this chapter didn't have one). And the betrayer? Well, you'll have to wait and see in Chapter Nine! NOTE: The betrayer will be someone you've heard of and someone you haven't.

Anticlownperson – Thank you, I rather enjoyed writing the carrot bit, BTW, the carrot is coming back in Chapter Nine, targeting innocent Ravenclaws. (Well, not so innocent in Mandy's case, but still). Oh, and fell sorry for Draco and Hermione. They're gonna need it. (Cackles evilly) And Daphne isn't really alluring or anything. The only two guys that like her are Draco, who doesn't really love _her_, and Theo, who is pretty much cracked up as you can get (check how many times I've mentioned 'maniac', 'crazy', and 'Theo' in the same sentence). I have to congratulate him too. What a plot he's dreamed up! (sniggers in background) And don't worry, all the good characters will indeed have their happy ending……..or will they? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

KyottNShort – Well, that's what you get when you're the 50th reviewer! I guess some of the relationships are pretty shocking, but when you look at them closely and think of their common personalities, actions, likes and dislikes, etc., some of them won't look too shocking anymore. Thanks, writing the finger fight and the carrot bit was fun. I got the idea for the finger fight from my friend and I. We had a pencil fight last week (silently) in math class. Ahh yes, the carrot replies. Keep a lookout for those…..I just might give major hints to some of the minor characters with that……

Dragoneyes5000 – Did I mention that Luna is a Seer in my story?

Pinkicing101 – The way I'm writing it, he'll be more surprised and shocked than disgusted……more likely he'll be disgusted at Daphne.

Love Hope Joy – Hmm, the carrot bit and the ten fingers fight sure is getting popular….and of course I keep people in character! They're my MINIONS!

Additional thanks to absolutelyjoyful AKA Joy, Setsuna-chan09, and Natural-181.

See you in a week,

Lily in a Pond


	9. Enter de Vellofides

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Nine

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I just found the announcement on J.K. Rowling's website about running out of paper. Haha, that was pretty funny! Now see, if I were her, I would type it all up on a computer. Ooh, see? I just said _if_. That should pretty much mean that I'm _not_ Jo. But if you're still curious, I'll have you know that I'm an American, living in the state of computer chips! Also, chocolate chips too….

--

It was a bright, sunny day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardly. The birds were chirping, rose petals were fluttering in the refreshingly cool breeze, and Fang was thumping his tail lazily to the haunting melody a lonesome fourth year violinist was playing from his tower window.

Inside, the halls were deserted, as classes had started. Charms and Tranfiguration were well underway, Arithmancy was making more charts, and the dungeons echoed with Professor Slughorn's booming voice and rumbling laughter.

The classroom on the second floor north corridor was suspiciously quiet, for this was the NEWT History of Magic classroom, a common nap spot for the students of Hogwarts.

Well, most of them.

"Ouch!" Orla Quirke said quietly. Reaching down on the floor where a balled-up note lay, she continued rubbing her neck. Orla shot a nasty look at Theodore Nott, who was sitting two desks away and pretending to look quite innocent.

The note read,

_To all LTEA members, don't forget about the meeting tonight in the Ravenclaw Common Room. The password is 'Shakespeare'. Pass this note around to all LTEA members._

_P.S- Quirke, don't forget to write everything down at the meeting. DO NOT FORGET. _

_P.P.S- Brocklehurst, Blaise wants to talk with you after dinner in the Charms classroom. No idca why he would want to talk to you of all people__, but he looked pretty serious._

_P.P.P.S- This meeting includes Potter and Weasley; however much you two want to back out now, you CAN'T! Mwahahaha! Remember that paper you signed? Well, it's charmed! And I saw what Gtanger did to that Marietta girl; this is going to be worse!_

_P.P.P.P.S- Nice work, Macmillan. We need more people like you joining our cause._

Orla giggled, remembering what had happened a few days ago at Hogsmeade, and surreptitiously passed the note to the nearest LTEA member in her History of Magic class, Ernie Macmillan himself.

She saw Ernie laugh quietly at the note and – Orla took a double take – patted himself on the back.

Orla raised her eyebrows, but then shrugged. If Ernie could remember random phrases from Shakespeare's plays, then he had a right to do stranger things than pat himself on the back.

In the space of five minutes, the note had flew around the classroom and reached each member of the LTEA. Now, it was back in Theo's pocket, ready to be passed around in Transfiguration, his next class.

But as Theo would soon find out, this would be a harder feat to accomplish.

--

Professor Jocular, the seventh years' NEWT Tranfigurations teacher (and rumored to be McGonagall's illegitimate love child with Dumbledore) snatched up a note that was about to be passed from Ron Weasley to Justin Finch-Fletchey.

"Oho! What is this? A secret _love note?_"

The class laughed, but Theo slapped his forehead. How could you pass a note incorrectly? he mentally yelled at Ron.

"Weasley, I knew you spent an unusual amount of time alone with Potter, but I never thought it would finally come to this!" Jocular chortled as he unfolded the note. "Hmm, let's see...ooh, meeting tonight...in the_ Ravenclaw Common Room!" _Professor Jocular was evidently excited; color was coming into his normally pale face.

Jocular rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Alright, now for the fun part. Which one of you fruity little jokers wrote it?"

Theo sat rigidly in his seat and contemplated blaming Blaise, but decided against it. The guilty party is always the first to deny it, he thought, remembering something he had heard in his fifth year from some Gryffindor.

Professor Jocular didn't look very surprised at the lack of reaction from his class. "Eh, how predictable. I didn't really think any of you even had half a ball to just admit it to my face. I'm not sexist or anything," he added quickly to the girls in the class. "Well, if no one admits to it, then I suppose I'll just have to go to Ravenclaw Tower tonight and enter the room!" he declared, crushing the note and tossing it into a nearby rubbish bin.

Theo made a strangled sound in his throat and instantly turned that into a cough.

"Are you alright, Mr. Nott?" Professor Jocular asked, his sharp brown eyes peering into Theo's.

"Yes, yes, hem, hem, I'm alright," Theo said, shooting a murderous look towards Ron. Jocular's eyes bored into Theo's for another moment, then he smirked and looked away.

"Well then, we'll get back to our lesson," Professor Jocular said and with a flourish, pulled out a large, complicated chart filled with animals.

"_Animagi!" _Hermione Granger whispered behind Theo. "That's what we're doing today, aren't we Professor?"

"Absolutely right, Miss Granger! Yes, today we'll be starting some basic skills to becoming an Animagus. Now, this is a required part of class, but afterwards, if you still want to continue studying to be an Animagus, you can inform me of that and I shall give you permission to look in the Restricted Section for books about this."

Professor Jocular clapped his hands. "Instructions are on the board, you may start now."

"This is so exciting!" Theo heard Hermione squeal behind him. "I can't wait to become a fully registered Animagus!"

Theo leaned towards Draco. "Three guesses on what Morag's going to be," he whispered snidely and they snickered quietly at the boy who was currently brandishing his wand and waving his arms around.

"Poor Morag. He really has to live up to his family's Transfiguration expectations," Blaise sighed, leaning over to their table. Then his face brightened. "Hey, those two rhyme!"

"Alright, Emily Dickinson," Theo sighed. "Now would you please bugger off, I'm trying to make myself an Animagus here!"

"Sure, sure," Blaise rolled his eyes. "An Animagus with less than half a ball..."

In the back left corner of the classroom, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were huddled together around their table, Ron looking very worried. Hermione was looking murderous.

"Passing notes?" she screeched quietly. "_Honestly!_ Out of all the things you could've done during Transfigurations class, you chose to pass a note! And this is NEWT Transfigurations, too! When you could be learning so much, you instead play. Play! Is that what you think classes are for? Having fun?"

"No - " Ron started, but Hermione jabbed her finger in his chest.

"Do not interrupt me, Ronald! I cannot deal with you and your childish tactics any longer! Seven years of putting up with this, SEVEN YEARS, and it all culminates with a NOTE. After class, you should really reflect on what you've done, and think of some ways to grow up!" Hermione stood up quickly she knocked her chair over.

"W-Where are you going?" Harry stuttered, looking very apprehensive of the throbbing vein that was threatening to pop out of Hermione's neck. Hermione glared at him, and he immediately withered, the brief moment of reckless bravery vaporized.

"I am going to sit with other people actually who take this class because they like it and seriously want to learn. Goodbye and good riddance!" Hermione flounced off with a huff and sat down to the nearest person sitting alone, who just so happened to be Morag MacDougal, the Big Bad Slytherin Bird.

Only now he was just Morag MacDougal, the Bewildered.

Ron got over his shock and opened his textbook, looking bewildered himself. "Man, must be a rough day for Hermione...first she actually drifted off to sleep in History of Magic, then she is supposedly shamed by my note-passing, and now, she's sitting next to MacDougal."

Harry blinked at him. "Wait. So Hermione's tirade didn't have ANY effect on you?"

Ron laughed. "No, it was just a load of bull." He chuckled again at Harry's affronted expression. "Look, after you hear the same, long, angry speech for seven years, SEVEN YEARS," he imitated, "you kind of know that it doesn't really mean anything. She's probably just going through some girly problems right now. But no worrries, Hermione will be back with us at lunch," he said confidently.

--

Ron's prediction, unfortunately, did not come close to true as Hermione sashayed away from him the moment she stepped into the Great Hall. Instead of sitting down with the rest of the Gryffindors, she scooped up a plate of food and headed towards the library.

Ron was fuming when Harry and Ginny entered the Great Hall.

"I cannot believe the nerve of that woman! So I pass one ickle note during class! So what! Getting caught was a stupid thing to do, I'll concede to that, but to go and ignore me like that is just unacceptable!" he ranted, unaware that Harry and weren't very interest. "She says I'm being childish all the time, but what about her - giving me this kind of treatment is pretty damn childish, too!"

"Well, none of this would've happened if you'd passed along that note properly, Ron," Ginny sighed. "Come on, how hard is it to pass one teeny note?"

Ron glared at Harry. "Great, now she knows too."

Harry shrugged. "She was bound to find out sooner or later. Anyway, how are you going to fix this up with Hermione?"

Ron exhaled, smoke coming out from his nostrils and ears. "Easy, I'm not going to. I've have enough of stupid arguments. Eventually she's going to realize that ignoring me is a dumb thing to do, she'll start talking to me as though nothing happened, and then all will be good and jolly and frickin-fantastic." He got up heavily. "I'm going up to the dorms, I need to do some good thinking and maybe smash a few windows."

As he left, Harry and Ginny exchanged worried looks.

--

"I think Venus is actually strongest at this point - look, see the concentric circle pattern here in the cycle."

"No, Venus should always be strongest when interlined with Mars. When you see the real view and not just some poster's view of the sky, you can see that the angle of depresion formed by the two planets and Polaris is 65 1/2 degrees, which proves my theory."

"...your theory is dumb - SHIT."

Blaise Zabini walked into the door to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

He groaned on the floor. Not only was that one of the most embarassing things he had ever done in his life, he could also feel his rather large lunch of lamb chops and garlic fries coming up.

"Blaise?" Mandy Brocklehurst asked.

"Yes?" Blaise rasped, daring himself to open his eyes.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence between them.

"Did you just walk into a door?"

"...um. Yeah."

Mandy hid her smile and helped Blaise up.

"Trust me, this isn't something that happens everyday," he grumbled, smoothing down his robes.

"I sure hope not," Mandy smiled. "You alright?"

"For sure! I'm a big guy! That didn't hurt me one bit!"

"...if you say so."

"Right then, let's go to class...and pretend nothing ever happened here."

Mandy shrugged. "It's not my secret to tell." Spotting her Ravenclaw friends already inside the classroom, she waved a goodbye to Blaise. "I've already changed the password, so I'll see you tonight."

Blaise smiled softly. "Yes...I will be seeing you tonight, Mandy."

"Who's the unlucky lady you're making goggly eyes at?" Draco smirked as he sat on Blaise's desk. He traced Blaise's line of vison. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mandy holy mother of pearl Brocklehurst? That's nice, I suppose."

Blaise pushed him off the desk. "Shove off, Draco."

Draco cocked an eyebrow at him. "That reminds me of something. I witnessed a very strange event two days ago in the Great Hall. It in volved you and a rather pretty blonde-haired girl...oh, hang on, that girl was Mandy Brocklehurst. What a coincidence, don't you think?"

Blaise's eyes bugged out.

"And I happened to overhear a very interesting conversation as well...one that concerns your developing relationship with the aforementioned girl. I must say, I do congratulate you on all that sneaking out you two did. It takes some guile to hide that from Slytherin, from _me_, for a pretty long time.

Draco and Blaise stared at each other.

"I need to have a private conversation with you later," Blaise sputtered out furiously.

Draco smirked. "No, actually, you don't need to. I know enough have an idea of what's going on."

As the door opened and their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher swept in, Blaise quickly leaned towards Draco and whispered, "I know you can the biggest bastard at times, Draco, but just this once, don't open your mouth, alright, mate? It would not be a pretty affair if this got out."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Draco waved him off. "Besides, even if I told people, who'd actually believe it?"

Their new professor cleared his throat and glared at them. Draco and Blaise drew apart, and sat like perfect little angels, giving a perfectly angelic smile to him.

"My name is Professor de Vellofides. And yes, I am Italian, Miss Granger," he said, seeing Hermione's opened mouth and raised hand.

"What kind of a name is 'de Vellofides'?" Draco whispered to Blaise. Blaise shrugged.

"An Italian name, didn't he just say that?"

"Now, I trust you all have your schoolbooks?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Good. Today, we will reviewing the three Unforgivable Curses. Who can tell me one of them?"

Hermione's hand shot up, but this time around, so did others'.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"The Imperius Curse, Professor."

Professor de Vellofides smiled, but only his mouth. "Yes, that's correct. Now, I trust you all know what the Imperius Curse does, so I won't get into detail about this. Next!"

"The Cruciatus Curse," Susan Bones volunteered quietly, seeing that Neville's head was in his hands.

"Ah yes, the Cruciatus. The most cruel of the curses," Professor de Vellofides said, sighing. "Mr. Longbottom, I know this is a difficult subject for us to breach upon, but we must." He looked up. "And the last?"

"Avada Kedavra, the Killing Curse," Harry said quietly, looking down.

Professor de Vellofides leaned over on his desk and said, "I understand how these curses must have affected all of you in this room. It ties to your families, your friends, and even perhaps yourselves." He straightened up.

"We are in dark times now. Voldemort has power, and he is gaining more of it by the second. Though students, most of you are seventeen and are legally adults in our world. You may not want to accept it, but sooner or later, you'll be thrust onto the battlefield, whether you want it or not. It's time to grow up and become adults. Time to face danger in the eye. Time to make sacrifices for war. Time to lose...and gain."

"You aren't children anymore. You're expected to fight with the experienced and powerful, to assume responsibilities, to wound and _kill_."

Harry looked down at his hands as did Draco.

It's unfortunate that you are living in this time; you won't have a chance to actually relax and enjoy life like you should. Instead, you are supposed to be older than your years, fighting on the battlefield. I have tried to persuade the Ministry not to allow children and students to fight in the war, but they won't listen." Professor de Vellofides sighed and lowered his eyes. "This is your first lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts. This harsh new world may at first be frightening, but you must never take the easy way out. Though every decision would be easier if you backed out, you can't. People are depending on you. You are now the new protection for the wizarding world."

All this time through Professor de Vellofides's monologue, nobody had said a thing. Then –

"You've seen it all, haven't you Professor?"

de Vellofides glanced in Harry's direction. "Yes, Mr. Potter, I've seen war. Too much of it. Now I never want to see it again." He straightened his robes. "But I think you've all gotten your daily dose of dark sayings. Homework - rip out the first twenty pages of your textbook; it's all rubbish written by someone who has the easy view from the sidelines. Skim through Chapter 1 for some basic defensive theory, lecture tomorrow. You can all talk for the remainder of class."

As he settled back into his chair, Harry came up to his desk.

"Professor? Can I ask you something?"

Professor de Vellofides looked up at him and smiled. "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"The way you talked...it's just that...your opinions on war sound similiar to some people I know. It's like you've been fighting so many with lots of people I knew…..and – "

" – Yes, Harry, I knew your parents. A fine couple they were, too. Brilliant. In the first war, they fought so many battles, escaped Voldemort. They fought bravely, Harry, they fought bravely all the way to their deaths. Even when they died, they died like true heroes," de Vellofides replied, sighing again and rubbing his eyes.

Harry was silent, but his sparkling green eyes said enough.

"You can come see me anytime, Harry," de Vellofides smiled. "Anytime."

--

"Tangerine."

"Custard."

"Grapes."

"Powdered sugar."

"Brie cheese."

"Maybe...lime?...or perhaps...orange?...no, I suppose...lemon Jolly Ranchers!"

Draco stared at the Ravenclaw second year, wondering what the heck was a Jolly Rancher. Defense Against the Dark Arts had just ended and now he had a free period. Since Blaise, Theo, and Morag were all gone, taking Divination, Ancient Runes, and Muggle Studies (respectively), Draco had no one to talk to besides, Crabbe, Goyle, Millicent, Pansy, and Daphne. Daphne and Pansy were off doing their hair in their dorm, and the Three Stooges weren't very interesting, so Draco had headed off to Ravenclaw Tower. He already knew the password; Blaise had a tiny piece of paper with all the passwords on it.

Now he was testing the girls with the carrot. So far, he had no results.

"Hello, Malfoy. I see you're testing my carrot out on the Ravenclaws now," came the misty voice of Luna Lovegood.

"Yeah. Taste," Draco replied flatly. He didn't have any results and he was feeling the stuffiness of the stupid tower room. Yes, Draco Malfoy was deeply pissed.

"I taste...hmm, a rather sugary taste...possibly rock candy. Oh my," she said, surprised. "It's changed."

Draco's mouth fell open in shock. "It's changed?" he repeated. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I don't really believe that a person will only have one love their entire life. I'm not saying there is one definition of love, but I think the kind of love for you, Malfoy, is cultivated, it doesn't just come fully developed. It would make sense that the taste would change as you move on with life."

"...So if I tasted apple at first, that could possibly change in the future?"

"Of course."

Draco looked stumped. "So I could've taste different flavors at a certain time?"

"If you've really fallen in love with her. Say, do you know who the girl is?"

"Um, no, that's pretty much why I'm using your stupid carrot; if I knew who I loved, I wouldn't have this thing on me at all. Anyway, never mind. I'm sure who the girl is," he said confidently. "Now, I'm off to make a nice trip to the Hospital Wing."

"Goodbye, Malfoy," Luna said. "But keep an open mind. Sometimes, you don't need to make twists and turns around the solution. Who knows, maybe she's right in front of you, just waiting for her Prince Charming," she sighed dreamily.

Draco stared at her. "...Right. I'll keep that in mind."

--

Hermione was walking near the Ravenclaw Common Room, humming slightly. Professor Slughorn had asked her to deliver a message to Professor McGonagall.

The door to the Ravenclaw Common Room opened and out stepped……Draco Malfoy?

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?"

Draco stared at her for a bit, mentally debating whether he should ask her about the carrot. Hermione raised her eyebrows at his strange behavior and started walking away. Making a split-second decision, Draco caught up to her in two quick steps and said, "Hey, Granger, want to take a bite out of a very delicious and tempting carrot?" he asked.

Hermione turned around and looked at him suspiciously. "...Is it poisoned?"

"No, why would the carrot be poisoned? What do you take me for, some sort of evil wizard?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows again, but kept her mouth shut and took the carrot. "Malfoy, am I supposed to eat this?"

"...Yes, you are going to take a bit out of it and tell me what you taste. What else would it be for?"

Hermione turned pink (PERV ALERT!).

"All right, then," she said, still looking very doubious.

"So…what do you taste?" Draco asked in a bored tone. Potions was in five minutes and besides, he didn't really care what Granger tasted. He had to rush to the Hospital Wing to visit Daphne before classes started.

"I dunno. Tastes kind of like peach or – "

"Alright, alright, peach, you tasted peach. Moving on!" Draco stuffed the carrot back into his bag. "Excuse me, Granger, I need to get to the Hospital Wing."

Behind him, Hermione stood confused. "Or maybe it was apple," she said quietly, almost to herself. "Oh well, what difference does that make?"

Still pondering over Malfoy's strange actions, she set off for Potions.

--

A/N-Well, this should get interesting…….

My wonderful reviews!

Anticlownperson – I'm glad you liked Ernie's monologue, I absolutely LOVED writing it. It was so fun to borrow a few Shakespearean words and insert them in and give Draco a little hint to what he should do. But alas, for thy valiant dragon Draco cannot comprehend the utmost obvious! For that, he shall suffer in Hell. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

KyootNShort – Well, I was planning to cut out some of the dialogue. I was thinking about cutting the getting-thrown-out-of-the-shop-and-landing-on-the-street part with Ernie, Justin, Susan, and Hannah, but I decided not to. And yes, I made up Ernie's speech by myself. Grabbed a few Olde English words from William Shakespeare and added it to the original speech. BTW, Ernie takes Muggle Studies, that's why he knows these words. And yes, that rhymes. I got one of Blaise's sentences in this chapter from you. _"Hey, that rhymes!" _

umm do u have2kno? – Thank you! And I should have specified more in the first chapter. I meant that "Time After Time" is _sung_ by Cyndi Lauper.

pinkicing101 – Draco also is starting to think that Daphne isn't Cinderella after all. Some clues I planted in this chapter specify that Draco is actually spending more time with Hermione than Daphne!

dragoneyes5000 – I guess I didn't mention it after all. Oh well! _Luna is a Seer._ Okay! Now everyone knows! Theo's little outburst was very…….._interesting_ to write. And the monologue scene. Well, that was just a plain bit of old fashioned stealing from Shakespeare!

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – GO HUFFLEPUFFS!

dramioneshipper – Hi again! And Ernie was trying to give Draco a hint about the whole Cinderella situation, disguised as a Shakespearean speech. I won't start Kiss War II, so just single kiss, Marine!

Additional thanks to Setsuna-chan09, Hogwartsgurlie, and segreti della mezzanotte324!

7/11/08 - WOW. That was one hell of a writing vacation I had. This will hopefully be the last edit for this chapter.

- added in the introduction, lunch scene, and Ron-Hermione fight scene; changed some parts of the Luna and Draco scene

- rewrote the entire Transfigurations class and end scene

- added in more parts about Draco going to the Hospital Wing to see Daphne - when I first reread this, I was shocked that I had forgotten to put in more Draco/Daphne parts. I realized that even though he thinks they're the couple that's meant to be, they didn't have any romantic interactions, so I'm sorry if the former Draco/Daphne plot in the story seemed really unbelievable. I'm trying to fix the earlier chapters up and make it seem like Draco and Daphne at least kind of resemble a couple.

Bye for now!

-Lily in a Pond

Please review!


	10. Horny Little Devils

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Ten

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: The only thing I own of Harry Potter are the DVD's and the stupid games on them are stupid! It's too hard to play with a remote! (And yes, I do realize that I am quoting Ben or Andrew from some MuggleCast episode, but hey, he doesn't have copyrights!)

0o0

"BOO!"

"ARGH!"

"Gin? Are you okay?"

Ginny groaned and sat up. "Why, why, _why_ did you have to do that, Harry?"

"Sorry, Gin-Gin, but I couldn't resist blowing off some steam," replied a grinning Harry.

"I wanted him to put on one of those scary Muggle Halloween masks, but he wouldn't listen," Ron grumbled behind Harry. His eyes immediately lit up as he spotted a house-elf doing around the room with a platter of finger food.

"If he had convinced you to do that, you would be at my funeral right, Harry Potter," said Ginny. "And though you are my cute, sweet, adorable boyfriend, do not _ever_ call me Gin-Gin again. Or _I _will be at _your_ funeral."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't again," said Harry, laughing nervously. "Oh hey look, there's Ron! And….uh…..food!"

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Hello Ginny."

Ginny spun around. "Oh hi Luna. Attending the meeting?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I have to report what I've done."

"You mean with the carrot?"

"I overheard the Ravenclaw girls talking about it earlier. Apparently, they think Malfoy's gone mad."

"That'll be the day," Ginny snorted.

"Don't say before you think, Ginny. Some things may come true," said Luna mysteriously, wagging a finger at Ginny before going off to eat the food.

Hmm. Seems like everyone in the world's the same, Ginny thought. They all love free food.

"Hi Ginny! It's nice to see you again!" Mandy Brocklehurst smiled at Ginny widely. In fact, she was _glowing. _

Wonder what's made her so happy? Ginny wondered.

"Hey Weasel Queen," said Blaise Zabini, strolling through the door, hands in his pockets, and grinning in a self-satisfied way that made you think that the cat just ate _all_ the cream in the world.

"What's up with you? You look so happy."

"There comes a time when you fall in love and admit it, Weasley. And that time was now."

Ginny stared back blankly at him.

"I love this room," Blaise commented idly, staring at the blue curtains. "Well, I'll be off now, Weasley. No time for small talk when there's food." He walked-danced off to the house-elf, humming some tune that sounded incredibly like "Just the Girl", by the Click Five.

Ginny raised her eyebrows at that.

"Hey Mrs. Potter," Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown sang in unison as they stepped through the door.

Harry whirled around. "Mom?" he asked in disbelief.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "No, silly. Lavender and Parvati were just joking around." She turned back to them. "So when is this meeting about to start?"

They shrugged. "I suppose when Theo gets here," replied Parvati.

And if on cue, Theodore Nott ran – no, burst – through the door of the Ravenclaw Common Room.

"PEOPLE!"

Everyone fell silent.

"Why aren't you all at the library?" Theo bellowed. Steam was practically coming out of his ears.

Nobody answered.

Theo sighed. "Potter. Weasley."

"We know," Harry and Ron replied in unison. "We're sorry."

Theo took a deep breath, then let loose. "WELL, IT'S A LITTLE TOO LATE NOW BECAUSE JOCULAR'S COMING!"

Everyone started screaming and running all in different directions.

"_Silencio!"_ Theo hissed, his eyes narrowing.

The whole room looked like someone had hit the mute button on it.

"Now, we are going to go up to the girls' dormitories calmly, rationally, calmly, peacefully, calmly, silently, and calmly," Theo snarled dangerously. "I don't care that the boys won't be able to ascend the staircase. Get the girls' broomsticks."

"You," Theo pointed to Luna Lovegood, Mandy Brocklehurst, Terry Boot, Orla Quirke, Lisa Turpin, and Anthony Goldstein. "Stay here and pretend to be doing something."

Theo headed towards the staircase. Most of the people were already up the stairs, but there were still some boys at the bottom of the staircase, waiting for a broomstick to be tossed down to them. "C'mon men, let's move!"

Blaise rolled his eyes and said something that when mouthed, looked suspiciously, like "F (electronic beep!) off!"

As a male voice could be heard saying the password outside, Mandy gasped and racked her head to find a possible situation to what they could be doing.

As the door swung open, Mandy screamed. "Aaaahhhhhhh – _I've got a crush on you_!" she warbled out. Seriously,_ Mandy Moore?_ she screamed at herself.

Mandy glared at the others. _"I hope you feel the way I do!" _

Joining it, they finished the chorus, _"I get a rush when I'm with you! I've got a crush on_ _youuuuuuuuuuu!_"

Professor Jocular stared in disbelief. "Er………….wonderful…….."

"I won't even ask how you guys all know the lyrics to that song," hissed Mandy as Lisa Turpin said innocently,

"So, what brings you here to our homely abode, Professor?"

"Well….I suppose someone changed the note telling all the members of some group to meet here. Hmm…..this is rather interesting……but first, may I check the boys'and girls' dormitories?"

They stared back at him in horror.

"…………er……sure……," Anthony volunteered timidly. "Go right on ahead. It's not like we have any secrets to hide in there or you know, like…..like…….things to hide…..or – " He was cut off when Mandy kicked him sharply in the shins.

"I'll check the girls' dormitories first, if you don't mind."

Oh yes we do mind, growled Mandy mentally.

Jocular turned back around. "Oh yes, and I'll need your wands, just in case you lot try to pull something funny on me while my back is turned."

"Why would we do that?" Mandy exclaimed superficially.

"I know _you_ would, Miss Brocklehurst," said Jocular snidely as a reluctant Mandy handed her wand over.

As he headed up the staircase, Mandy sighed and whispered, "I guess the no-boys rule doesn't apply to teachers," to Anthony.

Luna slipped her wand out and the others gaped in surprise. "I gave him a fake wand," she mouthed as she pointed her wand at the staircase and narrowed her eyes.

Suddenly, Jocular slipped on the staircase and slid down all the way. "What? Why did I fall down?" Jocular asked, dazed. Then he felt the staircase. "Why is this staircase so slick?"

Luna grinned as the other Ravenclaws nudged her.

"Who's there?" came a very fake high-pitched that Mandy recognized as Blaise's. "Why are you trying to come up the girls' staircase, you pervert!"

"I'm Professor Jocular! I can come up the stairs any time I want to?"

"You can't! This is a girls' dormitory! I'm going to tell McGonagall!" Blaise fake-squealed from above. "I can get you fired for harassment and breaking and entering into the girls' dormitories!"

"Alright, alright, I'll leave," said a dejected Jocular. "You win this time."

As soon as the door was closed, everybody came running down the staircase and – to the Ravenclaws' amusement – slipped on the still slippery stairs and landed in a big heap on the floor, with Pansy Parkinson on the bottom.

"Get – off – me," she wheezed out. "Or – I'll – kick – you – in – the – "

"O-KAY!" The boys exclaimed as they hurriedly got up.

"So now that our little moment of drama is over, we need to go to the library to hold our meeting," Theo declared pompously, brushing some invisible lint off his robes. He, miraculously, was the only person _not_ to fall off the stairs, maintaining his balance with his superhuman abundance and control of cerebellum. "And transfigure your face back, Morag, though it was funny back there, Madam Pince won't let you in like that."

The Slytherin ducked his head, which was slowly changing back from chestnut feathers into his normal brown hair. "Sorry, couldn't resist scaring some girls," he said as a way of explanation.

While all this was happening, Draco Malfoy was desperately trying to get into the Gryffindor Common Room……….

"Let me in, let me in, let me in!" he was yelling at the Fat Lady. "I need to in there to find my true love!"

"You're that swarmy little Slytherin boy, aren't you? Draco Malfoy. I will never let you in, I have my Gryffindor pride!"

"Screw Gryffindor pride! I need to get in!"

"Then guess the password!" The Fat Lady boomed out.

"I don't know it! That's why you have to let me in!"

"Shan't let you in if you don't know the password," the Fat Lady sang out, which slightly reminded Draco of Peeves.

"Fine, I'll guess it then," Draco snarled. "But if this takes more than half an hour, I'm doing a Sirius Black on you!"

The Fat Lady's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare."

"We'll see, we'll see. Anyways, is it 'Harry Potter'?"

"No."

"Ron Weasley?"

"No."

"Hermione Granger?"

"No."

"Boy-Who-Lived?"

"No."

"Quidditch?"

"No."

"Lions?"

"No."

"Malfoy sucks?"

"I like it, but no."

"Ferret?"

"Also accepted and used, but wrong again."

"Godric Gryffindor?"

"No."

"Dumbledore?"

"That would have been an incredibly obvious one, but no."

And so it went on, until –

"Just give the bloody password to me!" Draco yelled in frustration, banging his fist against the wall.

The Fat Lady's portrait swung open.

"How…….?"

"What a naïve little boy you are," the Fat Lady chided. "The password was 'password'. You just had to say, 'Give me the password' and you would have gotten in."

"What kind of a prat would think of that kind of password?" Draco yelled, trying to hide his frustration that he wasted twenty minutes thinking of potential passwords.

"Well, Hermione Granger did. She reasoned that since nobody would think that the password would be such an obvious one like ' password', nobody would actually guess that," the Fat Lady explained. "It's something she called………er…..reverse psychology, I think."

"But wouldn't someone think that _because_ nobody would think that the password was so obvious, the Gryffindors would use it?" contradicted Draco, finding a flaw.

"Shut up and go in already, you're giving me a headache," complained the Fat Lady.

Draco flipped the Fat Lady off with all ten fingers – courtesy of Blaise and Pansy's finger fight, of course – and dashed in before the Fat Lady could close the door on his behind.

"So girls, who wants to try a carrot?" Draco asked in a falsely perky car-salesman voice. (A/N-No offense to car salesmen, but your voices really do sound very happy all the time. That's a good thing! Don't kill me!)

No one answered. The common room was empty.

0o0

As the group of seventh years, plus two sixth years, trooped past an empty classroom, Blaise Zabini saw his opportunity and pulled Mandy Brocklehurst in.

"Who the hell are you?" Mandy screeched before she started squirming in Blaise's arms and gave a strong kick in the direction of someone's………er….crotch.

Blaise opened his mouth, but nothing came out. It seemed that the pain had rendered him silent. Either that, or he had lost his capability to speak along with most of his ability to produce children.

Mandy gasped when she turned around and saw who she had kicked. "Ohmigosh, I am so sorry!"

"S'not your fault," Blaise managed out between gritted teeth. "After all, you did warn me about my Blaise babies." He looked up. "D'you have any ice?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't happen to live in Antarctica right now," Mandy said sarcastically. "Here." She pushed an ice pack towards him. "Put that on your……….thing."

"Thanks," Blaise grimaced. "So….before you kicked me in my special area, I was going to tell you something."

Mandy nodded. "Go on."

"You know how I'm nuts about you?"

Mandy held up a hand. "Yeah, actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't mention the word 'nuts' in this sentence. Or in this whole conversation."

Blaise flushed and looked away. "Yeah, I think I'd prefer it too. Anyways, I was thinking that since we're now officially together, but the school doesn't know it yet, how 'bout we play a huge prank or throw some kind of weird, but funny party to end all the pranks and in doing so, sign a 'peace treaty' with each other, and then snog in the hallways and finish our snogging session in the Slytherin dormitories."

Mandy raised her eyebrows. "You started off nice and sweet, but now you're just plain cocky."

"I would prefer if we didn't use that word in our conversation also," said Blaise, placing his ice pack back over his crotch.

"Ah, yeah."

"Yes, it reminds me of a certain area that you abused earlier."

Mandy scrunched up her nose. "That was in self-defense, Blaise! And there sure are a lot of words that can relate to that area."

"Blimey, don't get too_ ball_ed up in anger, I may just have to pour slime on you, like in third year," chortled Blaise. "Oh look, I did it again!"

"And don't you get too _testy_, I might just kick you again!" joined in Mandy, practically shrieking with laughter.

Anyone passing by would see Mandy Brocklehurst and Blaise Zabini falling over with laughter, leaning on each other for support.

0o0

"Order order, people!" Theo rapped his knuckles against a table. "Order in the library!"

"I'll have three glasses of pumpkin juice and a bucket of chicken drumsticks!" wheezed out Ron, using that same old line.

"Ron, you know how juvenile you sound?" Dean Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ron flushed and immediately stopped laughing.

Theo rolled up the sleeves of his robes, flicked back his hair, and dropped a book on the table. "Silence!"

Madam Pince appeared, looking extremely infuriated. "You've got one more chance, Nott, before I kick you and your friends out," she hissed.

"My good lady," jumped in Morag. "Here, take this as compensation for your silence." He held out a handful of Galleons.

Madam Pince looked at the coins, then at Morag. "You've got yourself a deal," she said cheerfully before walking away, humming slightly.

Harry glared indignantly at Morag. "I was about to do that!"

"I'll bet you anything your moneybag's still in your dormitory," Morag shot as soon he as the words were out of Harry's mouth.

"He's got you there, mate," Ron muttered, nudging Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes and hissed, "Traitor!" to Ron.

"Okay, so now that Madam Pince is gone, and we've had our daily _adventure_ – Theo's words were practically dripping with sarcasm – we can now start our meeting. Does anyone have anything to report? Progress that's been made for Draco and Hermione?"

Seamus Finnegan raised his hand. "I repeatedly told Hermione about how thin the line between love and hate is until she threatened to disembowelme." He looked down at his hands.

"I did my………….thing in Hogsmeade," mumbled Ernie.

"I made 'Mione try on every green or silver dress in that dress shop in Hogsmeade," volunteered Ginny.

"Me and Harry are making loads of references to fairy tales and Cinderella," said Ron.

"I secretly sent her a silver coiling snake bracelet," said Anthony Goldstein. Pansy immediately pulled him closer to her.

"Susan and I wrote Daphne-bashing letters earlier today and posted them in all the common rooms," said Hannah Abbott.

"Don't ask how we know all the passwords," Susan Bones muttered, looking down.

"Speaking of which," Justin Finch-Fletchey cut in. "Where is Daphne? I haven't seen her around lately."

"I saw her coming out of the Hospital Wing," said Harry. "But that was about a week ago."

"She's in her room a lot," and Pansy. "And she's been visiting the Defense Against the Dark Arts room a lot recently ."

"What do you do, Pansy? Stalk Daphne?" joked Morag. Pansy rolled her eyes and elbowed Morag.

"I gave Malfoy a carrot that tells you who your true love is," came the dreamy voice of Luna Lovegood.

Everyone's heads swiveled towards Luna.

"Are you serious?" asked Theo skeptically. "Are you sure that kind of carrot even exists?"

"Yes," Luna snapped, her dreamy tone completely disappearing. "I tested it out on Harry and Ginny and they said it worked."

"Yeah, we both tasted cherry," Ginny smiled, kissing Harry.

Ron made a gagging noise. "Haven't you guys ever heard of PDA?"

"Yes," Harry said as they came up for air.

"We're doing it right now," Ginny added as she pulled Harry down again.

"But still," Theo looked doubtful. "You only tested on one couple."

"Well, _I_ believe her," interjected Morag. "I totally believe her! It's a perfectly reasonable fragment of...er...reality."

Luna smiled at him.

"You know, I'll taste it right now, to see if it really does have special tastes." Morag held out his hand to Luna.

Sighing, Luna pulled another carrot out of her bag. "I'm running out really fast," she muttered.

"Rock candy?" Morag asked, raising his eyebrows. Luna paled and snatched the carrot from his hand and practically ran from the library.

"What's with her?" Theo asked. "Anyways, good work, men."

"Is it just me or is the living soul of Oliver Wood in him?" whispered Harry to Ron."

"Nah, that's not possible," Ron whispered back.

"But it's not nearly good enough. We need to get them together at least two weeks before the HUB. So we need to work harder – better – and more consistently." He punctuated each word with a slap to the table.

"No, you're right, Harry. Wood's living spirit has divided into halves and one half is in this guy," Ron whispered.

"I know,that little speech was practically copied from Wood's speech in second year," Harry whispered.

"You two!" Theo barked in Harry and Ron's direction. "Shut up."

"So…..if anyone has no more questions, then meeting adjourned!" Theo declared. As he turned around, he whispered sinisterly, "Just wait a few days and see. Theodore Nott's first plan will be starting. I'll get you back before long, Daphne. Then we'll live happily ever after."

0o0

The next morning went off with a bang. Literally.

Whenever students walked in the Great Hall for breakfast, dancing snakes and ravens wearing ballet costumes and sparkly tiaras would slither or fly in front of the student and do an enthusiastic attempt of the "Cha-Cha." (though seeing as how snakes do not have feet, they merely slithered along the ground, waving their tails to the salsa music)

Even some of the staff was amused. _Some. _

After ten minutes of breakfast had passed by, Mandy Brocklehurst caught Blaise Zabini's eye and they stood up on their tables.

"_Sonorus!"_ Mandy whispered, pointing her wand at her throat. "ATTENTION EVERYONE!" she boomed. "Blaise Zabini and I would like to make an announcement."

"Ahem," Blaise cleared his throat loudly. "Okay, first off, I'd like to say that snakes will rock forever and ravens will die alone. Second, all of you guys know how Mandy and I've been fighting over the years, right? Well, today, we're calling a truce."

Everyone more or less gasped/screamed/fainted.

"Yes, the world is not ending, but we are making a 'peace treaty'." Mandy made quotation marks with her fingers. "So, in honor of our unity, we've decided to give you guys a little show. You know it's going to be the best you've ever seen when Mandy says so."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "What she means is that since this will the last event to end all the other events, it's definitely going to be the most exciting – "

" – extravagant – " Mandy jumped in.

" – fizzling – " Blaise cut in, glaring at Mandy.

" – bombastic – "

" – humorous – "

" – smashing – "

" – supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! – "

" – EVENT!" Blaise and Mandy finished on a high note, which sounded absolutely horrible.

The Great Hall burst into enthusiastic applause.

"And starting off our event is the dancing ravens and snakes, which are currently posted at the door! Let's give a big hand to them! Ravens and snakes, do the hula!"

As Hawaiian luau music came on, the ravens and snakes' tutus immediately changed to grass skirts and multicolored leis. The snakes started shaking their stuff while the ravens flapped their wings and actually did a somewhat correct version of hula dancing.

Professor McGonagall stood up. "Now now, settle down. We've have our fun for today, so why don't you two just reverse everything and – "

Mandy and Blaise acted like they hadn't even heard her and instead turned the volume up higher.

"C'mon everybody, let's dance!" Blaise called out, as he started wiggling his hips with Mandy on the table.

The music changed into a popular song, "Unicorn Wand," from a new wizard rock band, "Kruptonite," and everyone started screaming and dancing.

A mere ten minutes later, the bell rang, and moaning and groaning, the students headed off to their different classes.

Mandy smirked as she hefted her bag over her shoulder. "Looks like the professors have no idea what they're in for. If they thought this was something, well, just wait and see, kids. You haven't seen anything yet."

"The professors think they can outsmart us!" Blaise scoffed. We'll just see about that."

"With Blaise and Mandy working as one, anything is possible!"

"Why do we sound like an advertisement?" Blaise wondered.

Mandy shrugged.

"Ah well, let's go to History of Magic. Convince Binns to fall asleep," said Blaise with a wicked grin. "Then the fun will begin for today."

Behind their retreating bodies, three ravens finished chewing up a snake and one of them spit the grass hula skirt out.

0o0

A/N-Whew, that was the longest chapter I wrote! I wonder if it's because I included a lot of unnecessary details like the whole Draco and the password thing or the beginning of the HUGE PARTY. Which, by the way, includes a celebratory duel next chapter.

Brocklehurst vs. Zabini. Who will win?

On a further note, I am very, very, very sorry for not updating. My chapter was all ready on Wednesday, but then this message kept popping up, saying, "There was an error processing your request." So, now I'm posting it!

The answers to those scalding hot, burning reviews……..

dramioneshipper – Wow, keyboard's that bad? BTW, if you're still in France, you don't have to leave a review. Actually, you don't have to leave a review anyways. But don't get ideas from that! _Leave reviews._ Anyways, so how is France? Nice weather? I've always wanted to go to France. Instead, I got to go to Russia, where it is freaking cold in the winter and borsch is always on the menu. (no offense to anyone who likes borsch, but really, it makes your pee red!) But Russia was very sparkly. And yes, Draco is and always will be an ass……smoochie smoochie!

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez - Yes, the plot indeed thickens. And the betrayer? Well, you may be right, but you may also be wrong. If you read Chapter Nine and now Chapter Ten carefully, you will _definitely_ know who the betrayer is. And I think this story is going to be about twenty-something chapters or more. Maybe in the early thirties. There is still stuff that I have to introduce in the story, what with my story featuring the Last Battle (oops, I mean the Final Battle, sorry, Narnia moment there).

Dom-Basher CHAMPION – Really? When I started writing this, I thought this was just one more of those overused Masquerade Ball plotlines with a little twist in it: the whole not getting the right Cinderella thing. Thank you, I'm finding easier to be funny in the Slytherins and Ravenclaws, strangely, with the exception of Ernie's thing in Hogsmeade two chapters ago.

StarArrow – OMG, you are so FA-BYU-LUS! Thank you!

pinkicing101 – Yup, this is definitely planting then first little seeds of doubt in him when he realized this. When Draco finds out that Hermione is Cinderella, it's definitely be interesting.

Anticlownperson – Huzzah! The carrot returns in this chapter as well, and it gives out at least _one_ obvious couple who's going to end up together. But I think I'm going to keep the carrot in my story for a while; I was thinking that since Daphne still had the earing, the carrot could act as the 'glass slipper'.

apruhl GEE – Thank you! Yes, I've read a lot of fanfics that have Blaise and Ginny conspiring to get Draco and Hermione together, seeing as they are said couple's best friends and then Blaise and Ginny wind up falling in love too and then they all go and have a great big double wedding or something.

serpentine17ice – It's probably going to be about twenty-something chapters, maybe in the early thirties.

chaotic.flying.kitten – I think you know the answer already. And by the way, Vellofides isn't his complete last name. Try adding the 'de' part to 'vellofides' and maybe spelling it differently and see what definitions you get, because I think I used a different definition that included the 'de' part. But you're really close!

Additional thanks to HPFanatic-Andie, Setsuna-chan09, and Natural-181!

See you guys in (hopefully) five days! Summer's finally here!

Please review!

-Lily in a Pond


	11. Covered in Whipped Cream

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Eleven

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: If only I was JK Rowling; I would have _so_ much money, I could buy NBC………

0o0

Hermione was in her NEWT Transfiguration class when they struck.

A split second before it happened, Hermione had happened to glance at Blaise Zabini. The next thing she knew, she was covered from head to toe with whipped cream, melted ice cream, and chocolate syrup.

So was everyone else, including Professor Jocular.

I have to hand it to them, Hermione thought. It takes a lot of gut to do that to a teacher and enchant ravens and snakes to make them dance and completely ignore Professor McGonagall. Okay, fine, Hermione admitted. They probably have just as much gut as Fred and George.

Behind the whipped cream covered class, Blaise and Mandy Brocklehurst snickered and moved stealthily out of the door, wands in hand.

POP. In another second, cherries appeared on everyone's heads, accompanied with the sprinkling of nuts.

"ZABINI! BROCKLEHURST!"

Oh, yes, Professor Jocular was livid. Whipped cream was dripping from his head, ice cream had somehow got inside his robes, his face was coated with chocolate syrup, and though he didn't know it, the neon colored words, "I go up girls' staircases for fun," were glowing brightly above his head. The words, "Pervert and proud of it," were similarly emblazoned on the back of his robes.

Out of nowhere, Theodore Nott started cackling like a madman.

"Mr. Nott! Please restrain yourself! I'm already having a horribly horrible day, please don't make it worse by ridiculing me!" Jocular practically screamed at Theo, who only laughed harder.

Unable to help herself, Hermione started giggling, and that giggling turned into laughter, and the laughter turned into full-on uncontrollable hysterics.

Following her lead, the class stopped holding in their laughter, and joined Theo, who was currently rolling around on the floor.

"ARGH!" Jocular screamed. In his fury, a wave of magic swept the room and created quite a large hole in the ceiling.

"I think you're paying for that," Anthony Goldstein choked out before dissolving in laughter again.

Jocular sighed and laid his wand flat on his palm. "Find me Mandy Brocklehurst and Blaise Zabini."

His wand immediately rotated west, pointing to the Charms classroom.

"Oh, you're going to be sorry you ever tried to mess with me, you two. Nobody crosses Leonardo Fortitudum Jocular."

And with those words, he swept out of the Transfiguration classroom with a swish of his robes that would have made Professor Snape proud. Of course, the effect was ruined with the whipped cream, ice cream, syrup, cherries, and glowing words.

Hermione was laughing so hard, she failed to notice that a pair of hands had pushed her through the whipped cream covered floor and more closer to Draco Malfoy, who had grudgingly cracked a smile.

Theo noticed this and immediately signaled for everyone to leave the classroom.

As Malfoy continued staring at Hermione, laughing and staring at him staring at her, laughing and staring………………………..he immediately jumped when he heard the door slam closed.

"That's okay, Malfoy, we can just use Alohomora," Hermione giggled out, her fits of laughter slowly dying.

Malfoy instead shook his head. "It won't work, I've already tried that." Hermione immediately stopped laughing. "Jocular must have enchanted the classroom so only students can leave with his permission or when class gets out."

Hermione stared at him. "And how do you know all this?"

He shrugged. "When you sleep in the same room as Blaise Zabini, you will know."

Too true, Hermione silently thought.

"I now know all the passwords to the common rooms, how to get up the girls' dormitories, where the kitchens are located, and some secret passageways," Malfoy continued. "I also know a hidden chamber in the library, what Mandy Brockehurst wears everyday underneath her clothes – " He shuddered after saying this. " – the way to the Chamber of Secrets, where Potty's beloved Firebolt is hidden in his dormitory, where the Weasel's stash of candy is, and how to provoke all the Hufflepuffs."

"Huh. And just how does Zabini know all this?"

Malfoy shrugged. "He has his ways." Then his eyes immediately widened. "We just had a civilized conversation without any name-calling!"

"It's kind of hard to when you're stuck in whipped cream and chocolate syrup and ice cream," observed Hermione. "And is it just me, or is this mess getting higher and higher?"

"Can't be," Draco said nonchalantly. "Blaise would never drown his best friend in whipped cream and ice cream."

"Okay," Hermione replied. "Now say it like you mean it."

Malfoy sighed, looking resigned. "Fine, he would." Then he started screaming. "WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, Malfoy!" Hermione snapped. "Why don't we just, you know, eat it all up?"

Malfoy ignored her and continued screaming. "WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE GOING TO DROWN IN WHIPPED CREAM AND ICE CREAM AND THEN MY FAMILY FORTUNE WILL BE SQUANDERED, _SQUANDERED_, I TELL YOU, BY MY MOTHER! _SQUANDERED_!"

SPLAT.

The Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Shut-Up-About-Dying-And-His-Money was now temporarily rendered silent. Though, I suppose, anybody who had whipped cream in his eyes, mouth, and directly on his face would be quite silent for a while. And then they would start screaming again.

"Granger! You bi – " ZAP! Malfoy's face mirrored one of shock as he looked down at his butt. "My butt just got shocked!"

"I take it you don't know that all the classrooms are enchanted so that you can't swear badly during class," Hermione said with a self-satisfied smile. "There's just some things, Malfoy, that you won't know unless they've actually happened."

Malfoy scowled deeply at her. "Well, Miss Smarty-Pants, since you know everything, why don't you tell me how we're going to get out of this classroom."

"Simple," Hermione replied. "We wait." Malfoy rolled his eyes.

A few minutes had passed in silence until Malfoy looked around, and commented quietly,

"The whipped cream is getting steadily higher."

Hermione groaned and sat up. "Thanks a lot for reminding me, Malfoy!"

"You're welcome," he sang back.

Hermione rolled her eyes and started digging in the whipped cream.

"What are you doing?" Malfoy asked curiously.

"Looking for my wand. It was still in my bag."

"Oh."

"Mother of Merlin, I can't find my wand. This is like a conspiracy!" Hermione exclaimed. "D'you have yours?"

Malfoy shook his head. "Nope, but I'm sure it's somewhere in this mass of sweetness."

"Urgh," Hermione groaned. "This is all your stupid fault, Malfoy!" she complained.

"How is it my fault?"

"You could've stopped the rampaging twins! Then we wouldn't be in such a mess!"

"Even I can't stop those two when they're together! They're so…………ignorant of everything else around them."

"You got that right," Hermione muttered. Then something struck her as mysterious. "Hey, have you noticed that people have been acting really weird lately, along with Zabini and Mandy?"

Malfoy nodded. "Theo keeps on looking at me funny, and Blaise and Pansy are always spouting rubbish like the promotion of Inter-House Unity."

"Seamus kept on telling me of the whole theory of a fine line between love and hate, Ginny made me try on all the silver and green dresses at Hogsmeade, somebody sent me a snake bracelet, and Harry and Ron keep talking about fairy tales," Hermione ticked off on her fingers.

"Oh yeah, and that Macmillan guy from Hufflepuff told me this weird story at Hogsmeade. And Loony Lovegood gave me this carrot that tells you of your true love," Malfoy reminisced. "It seems like everybody from our year and some below us are plotting to get people together."

"I wonder who those people could be," Hermione mused. "They're most likely seventh years, due to the abundance of seventh years getting in the plan. They should be a boy and a girl," she finished nervously, casting a look at Malfoy.

'Well, it looks like our little Granger is growing up and realizing that there's more to this world than turning in essays and getting perfect scores," Malfoy smirked. Hermione glared at him.

"Don't you think I already know that?"

"No," he answered simply.

"Anyways, they're probably opposites, since all the stuff we just said adds up to that," Hermione continued. "And it sounds like they're pretty popular with all the houses, since people from all the houses are helping."

"Who could it be?" Malfoy looked at Hermione, and she looked back at him. "Who?"

0o0

Harry groaned. "How could they be so thick?" he whispered incredulously to the rest of the LTEA members who also took NEWT Transfigurations. "And Hermione, too! This is shameful to her good name," he said, disappointedly.

Everybody shook their heads sadly in agreement.

"Quiet!" Theo whispered, jabbing the Extendable Ear, which Ron had found in his pocket, further in his ear. "Ouch!"

"Serves you right for being such a bloody bitch of a dictator," Pansy Parkinson muttered darkly.

Everyone snorted quietly, except for Theo, who rolled his eyes.

"No, seriously, be quiet. I can't hear what they're saying."

"Is this broken?" Lisa Turpin asked Ron. "We can't hear anything."

"Well, maybe we can't hear anything because they're not saying anything!" Harry defended Ron.

"Why wouldn't they say anything? They should have plenty of things to say...and _do_, what with being in a room full of whipped cream, syrup, and cherries!" Theo protested.

"You are _sick_, Nott," Terry Boot said disgustedly, after realizing what Theo meant.

Pansy shot him a look. "I have to put up with this every day, even when I'm trying to relax by the fire in the Slytherin Common Room!"

"There isn't a fireplace in the Common Room," Morag MacDougal clarified.

Pansy looked confused. "There is a fireplace."

Morag let out a barklike laugh. "Right..."

As everyone, sensing that the comment was the end of the discussion, turned back to their Extendable Ears, silence ensued. After a few minutes -

" - Well, since the Extendable Ear doesn't function right now, let's go to lunch early," Anthony Goldstein suggested.

"Sounds good," agreed Harry.

0o0

Back in the Transfiguration classroom, Hermione and Malfoy gasped simultaneously, each face mirroring the other in sheer horror.

0o0

A/N-And there, is the beginning of romance! Hmm…..wonder what's going happen next now…..?

I'm sure you guys would've figured out what Hermione and Draco just realized. This sure changes the odds……

And yes, I know I said the celebratory duel would be in this chapter, but I felt like this should be given the main focus first and then I would add the duel for humor. So, Chapter twelve would have the duel, I promise!

And my replies to your wonderful reviews…….

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez - I am so honored to write your favorite chapter in this story! 'Course, I wrote the whole thing, but whatever, praise is praise. And your praise simply sparkles! And your poetry skills far exceed mine. My attempt of a poem is, 'Roses are red, violets are blue, and you are too good to be true.'

Dom-Basher CHAMPION – You are so Google-licious! And I'm not talking about the search engine either! And yes, somebody did say rock candy in Chapter Nine, along with Morag in Chapter Ten. Jocular in whipped cream, syrup, ice cream, cherries, and nuts! (And please don't take this the Theo Nott way…)

serpentine17ice – Yup. There's some details I have to develop, like the Final Battle, which Harry, Ron, Hermione, and more will be starring in.

iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy – Yes, Blaise and Mandy are such interesting characters to work with. Strangely, I feel like Blaise and Mandy are Draco and Hermione, on _lots _of sugar. I do love Dorky!Harry and Dorky!Ron………and yes, I agree with you on that anger thing Harry has. I mean, come on, he practically spent the entire fifth book being mad!

Additional thanks to dracos-beautygirl, Setsuna-chan09, dragoneyes5000, and pinkicing101!

Don't forget to review!

-Lily in a Pond


	12. They Don't Know that We Know

Once upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Twelve

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this chapter, except for the plot, which is mine. MINE! MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

A/N-Thanks to my 100th reviewer, amythestpony! I sent you an email about this….also, Iedited this chapter a bit on 12/29/06. Just corrected a few errors, and added in the Draco/Daphne breakup and carrot scene.

0o0

_Flashback of last chapter…_

"_It seems like everybody from our year and some below us are plotting to get people together." _

"_Who could it be?" Malfoy looked at Hermione, and she looked at him. "Who?"_

_Hermione and Malfoy gasped simultaneously, each face mirroring the other in sheer horror._

_End Flashback…_

"OHMIGOD!"

"I can't believe they're doing this to us!" Hermione shrieked.

"I know, why does it have to happen to me?" Malfoy wailed. "Good people don't deserve this!"

"WHY, WHY, WHY!" they cried together in unison.

"Those no-good, scumbags who – "

"They actually had the nerve to – " Malfoy interrupted Hermione.

" – Want to get us together!" shouted Hermione at the same time as Malfoy bellowed, " – Pour ice cream down my trousers!" (A/N-Thanks, apruhl GEE!)

Then they looked at each other. "WHAT?"

Hermione was infuriated and very, very impatient. Screw all that patience is a virtue crap talk, she wanted Malfoy to realize that their friends are getting them together, not that ice cream was down his trousers!

"Malfoy, I'm going to give you two more minutes to figure this out," snarled Hermione dangerously.

Malfoy snorted. "I'm not afraid of you." Then he suddenly shrieked rather girlishly as a wand jabbed his cheek. "Okay, now I am."

"Good. Be afraid, Malfoy. Be _very_ afraid."

Malfoy gulped and furiously tried to work out what she was getting at in his head. This is all so confusing! he thought. I want lunch!

Then a thought from the romance section of his brain came to mind.

_"OH!"_

Hermione eyed him warily. "Please don't tell me ice cream just went down your trousers again."

"No, I figured out what the others are trying to do to us. They're trying to make us fall in love!"

"Exactly," said Hermione. "There might still be hope for you."

"Anyways," Malfoy pointedly cut in. "What are we going to do? We can't just stand around and pretend like nothing's happening."

Hermione suddenly grinned sinisterly. "Actually, we can. I've got an idea."

0o0

Harry and Ron were shoving as much food as they could down their throats when Ginny turned up.

"Sorry guys, Flitwick let us out late," she said, plopping down next to Harry. Harry and Ron acknowledged her presence with a nod. "Why are you covered with food? And where's Hermione?"

"Part of Zabini and Mandy's party thing and I think she's still stuck in the Transfiguration with Malfoy," said Ron, after swallowing hugely. Ginny looked impressed and gave them two thumbs up.

"She should be out by now. Lunch has already been going on for – " Harry checked his watch (he had finally replaced the old one he had in his fourth year) – "seven minutes, forty-three seconds."

"Thanks Harry, I really needed to know the exact time," said Ginny sarcastically. "So, where is she?"

As if on cue, Hermione walked through the doors, with Malfoy by her side.

"Hi," she said, dropping down into a seat across from Harry. "What are you all staring at? I cleaned off my robes."

"Why did you walk through the doors with Malfoy?" Ron asked, eyes narrowing.

"Well," Hermione leaned in confidentially. "We've been going out for a few weeks now, and I was about to make the announcement."

The three drew back immediately. "WHAT?"

Everyone in the Great Hall turned to them.

"Why are you going out with Malfoy?" Ron practically shouted, jumping up.

"Why would you make that decision?" Ginny shrieked, leaping to her feet also.

"You're even going _public _about this?" Harry yelled.

The students and some of the staff dropped their jaws.

Professor Jocular said it the best. "What the hell?"

Hermione looked surprised. "Since all you guys don't know, MALFOY AND I ARE GOING OUT!" she yelled.

Malfoy stood up. "That's right! She's the one that I love! The one that I wanna snog with! The one I shagged in the library after – "

"Draco!" Daphne Greengrass shrieked. "We need to talk!"

Pansy Parkinson snickered. "He doesn't need to talk to you to know that he'll like a Crumpled-horned Snorkak more than you, you little slut-faced ho-bag."

_"Ooh!"_ The Great Hall chorused. Blaise Zabini could be heard saying, "Get that little bitch, Pansy!"

"Miss Parkinson, that is some incredibly profane language! Twenty points from Slytherin!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed.

As Daphne practically yanked Malfoy out of the Great Hall, the rest of the students broke out into whispers.

Over at the Ravenclaw table, Mandy Brocklehurst was looking extremely irate.

"Blaise!" she whispered over her shoulder to the Slytherin, who was laughing his head off at something Pansy had said.

Blaise turned around. "What?"

"The attention is off us now! Nobody seems to care that we've just a signed peace treaty or the fact that we were going to have a fireworks show at lunch."

"Bloody hell, you're right! What are we going to do?"

"I don't know." Mandy bit her lip.

"Oh! I've got it!" Blaise exclaimed. He jumped on top of the Slytherin table. "Just follow along to what I'm doing," he whispered to Mandy.

_"Incendio!"_ he shouted, pointing his wand at Mandy's hair, which promptly burst into flames.

Mandy screamed and started digging furiously in her bag for her wand. Padma Patil, who was next to her, rolled her eyes and instead dumped her glass of orange juice on Mandy's head.

"Thanks a lot, Padma," Mandy hissed darkly, orange juice now dripping from her robes.

"_Oppugno!"_ she hissed, causing several goblets to pummel Blaise.

_"Incarcerous!"_

Mandy quickly cast a Shield Charm nonverbally to block the spell and flicked her wand. _"Tarantallegra!"_

"_Aguamenti!"_ A jet of water shot from Blaise's wand and headed straight for Mandy as he barely dodged her hex. Mandy ducked again and gritted her teeth. So you want to play difficult, eh? she thought. I guess it's time to let out the advanced curses.

_"Imitari!"_ The shape of Mandy Brocklehurst immediately split in two halves, each perfectly identical to the other. It was, as the spell dictated, a mirror image of the caster.

You want to play dirty, then? Blaise thought. "I'll show you what playing dirty truly is.

_"Specialis Revelio!"_ The real Mandy was immediately found. _"Petrifi – "_ He was rudely interrupted by Professor McGonagall.

"I let you two go this morning, but I will not let this time around!" shouted Professor McGonnaBlowAFuse. "Twenty points from Slytherin and Ravenclaw. You two, come with me!"

Mandy made a face behind her back, but Blaise made a rather rude hand gesture at McGonagall.

"I saw that, Mr. Zabini," said McGonagall, turning around. "Five points from Slytherin."

0o0

Theo was huddled in a corner of the library with Morag, talking in whispers.

"What are we going to do?" he hissed frantically. "I think they found out about our plan!"

"I don't know," Morag whispered. "It's not fair. The most cool-headed and cunning people in the school are with McGonagall right now."

"How 'bout we just pretend nothing's happened?"

"Elaborate please."

"Well, I think that Draco and Hermione don't know that we know that they know about our plan."

Morag rolled his eyes. "If you want someone to figure out your stupid twisters, go ask Parvati Patil. She can figure them out faster than me racing out of the library at top speed." He bolted out of Theo's sight.

Theo sighed. "Coward," he muttered. The he spotted Parvati reading a magazine in one of the chairs. "Oh Parvati!"

Parvati looked up. "Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you," said Theo seriously. "It's about Draco and Hermione."

"Ooh, I _love _talking about them, they are, like,_ the_ most cutest couple ever!" she squealed as she sat up in her chair and smoothed her hair. "I mean, they are just _so_ meant to be together. It's like, _totally_ fate!"

Theo pulled away. "On second thought, I have to go. There's a very interesting book in my dormitory that is just calling for me."

"Bye, Theo!" Parvati called out gaily.

"Quiet!" Madam Pince shrieked in Parvati's ear. It seemed that anyone associating with Theodore Nott these days was immediately on her bad list.

Parvati stood up to her full height, which was a very impressive move since she was quite tall, and looked down at the librarian. "Well, since you just shouted at me, I'm going to have to ask _you_ to be quiet, Madam Pince."

Then she strode out of the library to tumultuous applause from the students around her.

0o0

"Draco..." Daphne started dangerously. "What's all this I hear about you going out with Granger?"

Malfoy shrugged and plastered an innocent expression on his face. "It's true. I really love, I really do."

Daphne stared at him for a very long time. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Malfoy said firmly, trying to keep the bile down. Strangely enough, there wasn't any this time.

Daphne shook her head. "Wrong answer," she muttered, pulling out her wand.

Malfoy jumped up. "Oh! Before you hex me or anything, could you taste this carrot?" He held out the carrot. Daphne raised her eyebrows.

"Sure...why not?" Daphne closed her eyes and chewed thoughtfully. "Apple. Yes, definitely crabapple."

Malfoy let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Thanks, Daph. You've made my day a great one."

As he left the room, Daphne's eyes narrowed. "Look out, Granger. You're going to be in a quite a pickle this time next month!" she cackled manically.

OoO

Hermione and Malfoy were back in the Transfiguration classroom, except this time, they were in of their own free will.

"So………thanks for helping me with that……thing, Malfoy," Hermione said quietly after a bit of awkward silence.

"You're welcome, Granger. Besides, it was a win/win situation. You got a better dating reputation, I got an excuse to dump Daphne, and we both got some really good laughs."

Hermione smiled, the dim light of the waning moon illuminating her face. "Why'd you want to break up with her, Malfoy?"

Malfoy looked out of the window and smiled sadly. "I guess…….well, it just wasn't working out the way I thought it was supposed to." He shook his head, smirking slightly. "I don't even know why I'm telling this to you. Just look at the two of us. We've hated each other for years, and now, I'm telling you this. I have no idea what's come over me."

"Maybe you've just started changing for the better," Hermione suggested.

Malfoy shook his head again. "I lost that chance years ago."

Hermione swallowed hard. "Well, maybe someone's giving you a second chance."

Malfoy turned his head in her direction. "That would be a miracle. I think I've made too many mistakes in the past, and chosen the wrong paths, and now, I guess I'm paying for them."

Hermione looked into his eyes. "Malfoy, you have to learn that sometimes miracles can happen. People can change. And – " Hermione bit her tongue, choosing her words carefully – "And you can always look inside of you and make the right decision."

Hermione took a deep breath before continuing. "I know that in the past, you've made mistakes, done the easy thing instead of the right thing. But you can't live in the past forever. What's done is done."

Malfoy looked up. "...You're right, Granger. Some things should just stay in the past. Things that I don't ever want to relive again." He looked up and smiled, a tiny, but true smile. "Thanks, Granger. I think you've just helped me accomplish something I've been wanting to do for a long time. Fight myself."

Hermione smiled back at him. "Well, I'm glad you won the fight. And I'm glad that you've been willing to listen to a Gryffindor Muggleborn for ten minutes, especially when that Gryffindor Muggleborn is called Hermione Granger."

"Where else could I go? All my friends are out snogging or studying."

Hermione stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go. Ginny and I were supposed to chuck rocks at the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team from the Astronomy Tower at eight." She checked her watch. "And now, it's eight-fifteen."

"Hey, you know what? I'm going to go with you," Malfoy said suddenly, surprising both himself and Hermione. "I've got nothing better to do, anyways."

"Uh, it'll be a pleasure to throw rocks down with you, then," Hermione said slowly.

"This is going to be such an fun night!" Malfoy exclaimed. "I get to hurt people and annoy the hell out of you and the Weaslette!"

"I wouldn't push Ginny too far across the line," commented Hermione, smiling slightly, as they climbed up a flight of stairs. "Have you ever seen her mother get angry?"

"Yeah, she made my father actually cower a bit in Diagon Alley once," Malfoy admitted, cracking a smile. "That was probably the funniest day of my life."

"I cannot imagine Lucius Malfoy cowering at all," said Hermione, hopping up the last flight of the stairs to the Astronomy Tower.

"Yeah? Put a disgruntled Molly Weasley there, and he will."

"Okay, here we are, Malfoy," announced Hermione with her hand on the doorknob. "A few ground rules though."

"One, you must always try to aim for Michael Corner. Two, if by any chance you see Luna Lovegood, you should yell, 'Wrampurt sighting!'. And three, do NOT attempt to hit me or Ginny with the flying objects. Or we will kill you."

"What if I kill you guys with the flying objects first?" said Malfoy cheekily, grinning. He and Hermione had now assumed the 'teenage flirting' position, which consisted of the boy leaning against the wall, arms folded or with one hand on the wall and the other on his hip, and the girl, placing her weight onto one leg and twirling her hair, thus flirting in the teenage fashion.

Of course, since they were teenagers, those positions were perfectly acceptable. But if you ever saw an adult, well, let's just say that what happened on August 14, 1997 was sure going to Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks' graves.

"Well, then, Ginny and I will tell Lavender or Parvati that you're gay on the way to death. Then you'll be completely ruined," giggled Hermione.

BOOM. The door to the Astronomy Tower flew open and revealed a very angry Ginny Weasley.

"Were you just wasting all this time by standing here and flirting with Malfoy, Hermione?" she screeched. "Michael Corner has already flown by five times, and without you covering his left, the rocks I threw missed him!"

"Well, I – uh – " Hermione stammered as Ginny grabbed her and Malfoy's arms and started dragging them inside. "

"No time for excuses! Hermione, you cover Corner's left. Malfoy, you cover his forward."

Hermione smiled in the dim light at Ginny's raving, slightly maniacal speech and she noticed that Malfoy was smiling back…………….smiling at her………..

"Oh for heaven's sakes, if you two want to kiss, then kiss already!" Ginny grabbed their heads and pushed them together. "Kiss kiss kiss!"

0o0

A/N-The romance is getting hotter! Kissy kiss, Hermione and Draco!

The answers to your reviews……..

Christina A. Malfoy – I do love Blaise/Mandy………..they are such great characters to work with, I feel like writing a fanfiction about them!

Dom-Basher CHAMPION – That was definitely one of the major twists in my plot. By the way, I forgot to tell you this last time, but I like your username. It's got a nice ring to it.

StarArrow – At least one of them is…………hmm…this makes me wonder. If Draco Malfoy would get so worked up about the thought of dying, how would he react if he was truly dying?

HPFanatic-Andie – I'm glad I'm your source of life, ahead of food and oxygen………..

apruhl GEE – I hope you didn't mind when I used your idea in this chapter. It was too funny to resist!

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – I have the poem skill of a second grader. No denying that.

pinkicing101 – Yes, well, Draco is a bit slow in the mind when it comes to logic. He's a sad, sad, little boy.

Love Hope Joy – When are you updating your story? I don't believe for a moment that you have writer's block, writing Humor in fanfiction is so funny and easy!

Additional thanks to Anticlownperson, Setsuna-chan09, dragoneyes5000, amythestpony, DA4life, Krayola Krayon (luv your name!), syuusuke-kunimitsu117229, me, and iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy!

Love ya,

-Lily in a Pond


	13. Floating Heads and Unbuttoned Shirts

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Thirteen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I truly don't own Harry Potter or any of its many related departments (can you believe they even have HP toothpaste?).

Please read and review at the end!

0o0

Hermione and Malfoy broke apart from the kiss and stared in horror at Ginny.

Ginny shrugged. "This is the Astronomy Tower and you guys have been having a secret affair for a few weeks. Right?" she looked at them suspiciously.

"Yes we have!" said Hermione hastily. "We've been secretly……uh…….snogging for a while. And...we...it's good," she finished lamely.

"That's right!" Malfoy exclaimed loudly, coming to her rescue. "Hermione and I are _going out_!" he repeated loudly, emphasizing the words.

As Ginny turned away to check if Michael Corner was flying in their direction, Hermione smacked her forehead and proceeded to shriek silently. Next to her, Malfoy was having the same reaction.

"D'you think we could transfigure a rock into a Bludger and have it tail Corner? It wouldn't be all that difficult..."

Hermione sighed. "Ginny, that wouldn't be fair to the team's practice."

"What is_ fair_, Hermione? Fair is dancing with bunnies and singing with birds. Only Hufflepuffs do that."

"Too true," Malfoy cut in.

"And that is why they've never won a match," Ginny continued. "Except for the one that Harry _purposely_ lost to them in his third year," she sniffed arrogantly.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Why is Mandy Brocklehurst doing aerial tricks with her broom?" Malfoy suddenly said, leaning over the side of the tower dangerously.

Hermione peered over the edge of the tower.

"I can see you!" Mandy suddenly yelled to them, shaking her fist in the air. "You little Peeping Toms, you think you can mess with a team that has Mandy Brocklehurst as captain!"

"Davies was a better captain...pity he left," commented Ginny as they ducked when a jet of purple light shot from Mandy's wand to the tower and lightly scorched her red hair. "He actually gave his team a pep talk."

"Mandy has a pep talk," protested Hermione.

"Oh sure, 'Let's go out there and try to look pretty flying' is _such _a good pep talk," said Malfoy sarcastically.

"You're just jealous because your pep talk is, 'Let's hope Potter dies while we're flying'," Hermione sneered.

"Now now now _now_!" Ginny shouted. "This is not the conversation of a couple who is _supposed_ to be snogging, who is _supposed_ to be highly turned on by the setting and the other person, and who is _supposed_ to be shagging right now!"

"But………..you're kinda in the same place as us, so we can't do any of the stuff you just said we should be doing," said Hermione slowly.

"Thankfully," Malfoy muttered.

"Well, I'll you two alone then," said Ginny. "Oi, Lisa! Incoming below the Astronomy Tower in five seconds!" Then she jumped off.

Hermione and Malfoy screamed and ran over to the side, which Hermione had just now realized had no protective bars or a railing.

"It's okay! I'm fine! I've done this before!" said Ginny hastily as her head, now floating, appeared again. "I'm on Lisa's broom."

"I'm sorry, but I'm a bit distracted by the floating head," said Malfoy cynically.

Ginny scowled. "Buh-bye Ferret and the future Mrs. Ferret." The floating head disappeared. "And Hermione – " The floating head was back. " – I really don't know what you see in him," she added, shaking her head, which looked rather disturbing, since the shaking head was also floating.

"So……….now we're alone," said Hermione, grimacing at the………_suggestiveness_ of her sentence.

"All alone," Malfoy agreed. "Just the two of us. In the Astronomy Tower, the regular place for kissing and shagging couples. Alone. By ourselves. Deserted. On our own. Isolat – "

"Okay, I get the picture!" Hermione snapped. "We're alone at the Astronomy Tower. You do know that we can just go down the stairs, or jump off the tower like Ginny."

Malfoy smirked. "Yes, well, the Weaslette does have taste. Jumping off a tower is considered a rather attention-getting exit."

"_Please!_ That was scary! I dare you to look into my eyes and tell me that it wasn't scary," Hermione protested.

"Fine. I will." Malfoy fixed her with his most smoldering, sexy gaze, the one that turned girls to jelly, even teachers (...). Hermione was rendered temporarily speechless until her brain came to its senses and made her snap her gaze away from his.

"Well," Hermione said, breathing slightly heavily, "You didn't think it was scary." Hermione wrinkled her nose. "It's really hot out here, isn't it?"

Malfoy sniggered. "It's eight-thirty on an autumn night and your sleeves are rolled up, Granger. What are you, the fires of hell?"

Hermione glared at him. "If I wanted to look at the fires of hell, I would just look at you."

"I'm touched Granger. Didn't know you thought I was_ hot_."

"Didn't know _you_ thought _I _was hot."

"Fine. We're both hot people. The world must worship our hotness. Bow down to us, normal ugly people."

Hermione swatted him. "Prat."

"Imbecile," he shot down, smoothing his hair back into the 'sexy Draco' look.

"Egotistic."

"Bookworm."

"Ferret."

"Ooh, getting nasty. Mudblood."

"Prick."

"Slutty whore."

"How am I a slutty whore? I haven't even done it. Yet," Hermione added quickly.

"Your shirt is unbuttoned at the first three buttons," Malfoy pointed.

"That's because I was getting all sweaty."

"Well button your shirt back up, woman! I really don't appreciate seeing them."

"Geez, I wonder why? Is it because your pants are becoming really uncomfortable?" Hermione teased, inclining her head to the bulge in Malfoy's pants.

"Will you just please button your shirt up?" Malfoy hissed, looking around. "People could see this and laugh and point at me!"

And as if on cue, Michael Corner flew by and started laughing. "Hey guys! Malfoy's having an erection!" he yelled to the rest of the team.

Malfoy chucked a rock at him and Corner slipped off his broom, a mark visible on his forehead where the rock had hit. "Take that, you fat bastard!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and buttoned her shirt up again. "Ginny should be awfully pleased with this recent turn of events. But seriously, Malfoy, you resort to violence too much. If we want to grow up to be polite, civilized people, we need to start now."

"Easy for you to say," grumbled Malfoy, hands now covering his……area. "You don't have a bone pointing extremely up right now. I'm a miserable little man."

"Yup," Hermione agreed after a drawn-out silence. "You _are_ a miserable little man."

0o0

Daphne Greengrass was absentmindedly stabbing her quill rather ferociously into her Potions book in the library when an enormous bookshelf fell on her._ Again. _

A small girl with brown hair and brown eyes stepped out from behind the bookshelf. "You can come out now, Melody. She's knocked out," the girl whispered.

Another girl, this one resembling Mandy Brocklehurst with her honey blond hair, hazel eyes, and the same sly look in her eyes, stepped out from behind the bookshelf. "You got the potion?"

"Yup," the other girl clarified. "The Veritaserum's in my pocket."

"You shouldn't have put it there, Diana! Mandy always told me to strap it to your bra so only rapists would get it."

Diana snorted. "Just because Mandy is your cousin doesn't mean you have to be a complete mini-me of her."

"Whatever. At least I don't have Daphne Greengrass as a sister."

"Hey,_ half_-sister. When I become a full-fledged witch, I plan to sever any ties with that bi – er – oh, what the hell? She's a bitch and everyone knows it," pronounced Diana, crossing her arms.

'Fourteen year olds shouldn't swear," frowned Melody. "It makes you look uncivilized."

Diana smirked. "My father was Italian. Italians swear. Maybe frigid English _ladies_ like ickle Daphne don't, but whatever. I'm not a lady."

"Damn right you aren't," Melody agreed. "C'mon, let's get the potion in, she might wake up."

"_Ennervate,"_ Diana whispered. "I stole Pansy's textbook and read Chapter Three," she explained. As Daphne started to stir, Diana hurriedly uncorked the tiny vial of Veritaserum and emptied it in Daphne's mouth.

The girls waited a few seconds for the potion to take effect, then Melody pulled out a piece of parchment and read, "What is your full name?"

"Daphne Olivia Greengrass," Daphne intoned, using one voice pitch.

Melody looked quizzically at Diana. _"Dog?"_

Diana shrugged. "Well, she most certainly is a _female _dog."

Melody shrugged. "Okay, next. Why did you pretend to be Draco Malfoy's Cinderella girl?"

"Because he was cute."

Diana rolled her eyes. "Typical Daphne."

"Why do you hate Hermione Granger?"

"She's everything I'm not and Draco secretly likes her."

Diana whistled lowly. "This is _good_."

"What is your secret fear?"

"Pain, death, rejection, breaking a nail, bunnies, snakes, storms, lighting, thunder, ants, insects, poison, lemons, swords, the unknown, roses, electricity, bombardment, tumors, fainting, being sick, sneezing – "

" – So basically, anything the English-speaking world has invented in words," interrupted Diana snidely.

"Next. Are you a lesbian?"

"No."

"So I take it you're straight?" Diana joked.

"No." Diana and Melody both raised their eyebrows.

_"Bisexual?"_

"No."

"What is she?" Diana whispered, horrified.

Melody took a deep breath. "I'm not asking this question anymore, we might get more information than we wanted."

"Agreed," breathed out Diana.

"What are you going to do in retaliation for Draco breaking up with you?"

"I'm going to torture Hermione Granger and then kill her."

Diana and Melody looked at each other, eyes wide open.

"Why?"

"Because I can."

"A-are you a Death Eater?" Diana whispered, breathing heavily.

_"Yes."_

0o0

A/N-And the plot thickens even more! (If this keeps going, my plot is going to be thicker than butter)

The answer to the wonderful reviews you have gifted me with!

Zagreb-girl – I certainly hope I'm not going to be a murderess after this chapter…..

Christina A. Malfoy – Throwing rocks _is_ fun. Especially if you flick those tiny pebbles at a person's head and then pretend to be reading a book. They'll be so freaked out after a few more times!

Love Hope Joy – You're in Taiwan now, and there's no point in saying this, but have a nice vacay! And I read your chapters and tried to leave you a review.

Krayola Krayon – I love that line too! I've fallen in love with it ever since I heard in some cowboy movie. Throwing rocks isn't their only pastime. There's also vanishing quills, poking people, and have people freak out about this 'invisible' thing that's poking them.

Dom-Basher CHAMPION – And yes, here is another cliffie. Daphne is a Death Eater! –runs around screaming like a chicken with its head cut off-

Anticlownperson – Ah yes, the announcements were like killing two birds with one stone. Getting rid of Daphne's girlfriend status and making a part humorous. Blaise and Mandy. The classic spirit of attention-seeking, cunning, sly, and ambitious people who have a dominance problem.

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Sometimes those lines are reflected on what _I _would do in that moment………this shines new light on the word, "Crazy."

amythestpony – Thanks for creating the character! I promise the catfight between Diana and Daphne will be the next chapter.

KyootNShort – Glad to have you back! And that's rather freaky. Listening to "Crush" at same time as reading my chapter ten is quite………….well, _freaky. _And yes, I never really realized how many references to 'nuts' could be floating out there until my friend Evan and I went out for a coffee. (The conversation did not stay on normal topics) Well, I didn't get the 'order, order' thing from Mulan _completely_, but I had a basic idea of it there. My cousin influenced me to put it in.

Additional thanks to dragoneyes5000, Setsuna-chan09, Kat, and iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy!

Coffee-laced Firewhiskeys for all!

-Lily in a Pond


	14. No One's Ready

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Fourteen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Another year has passed since the arrival of HBP and I am _still_ not JK Rowling………

0o0

The next day was a frightful blur for Draco Malfoy. Charms was horrible, History of Magic was unbearable, and Transfiguration was agonizing. What was the reason for all his woes in these classes he normally exceeded in?

It was Hermione Granger. Of course, he was tempted to call her, simply, "Granger," but that was rude, not including somebody's first name in writing. However, she didn't really deserve that politeness, so "Granger" would probably do just fine.

"My head hurts," Draco whined. Theodore Nott stared at him, and passed the chocolate milk to him.

Thinking "Granger" sent little shockwaves to his brain every time he thought it...

Ever since he woke up this morning, Draco couldn't seem to get Hermione - sorry, _Granger_ - out of his head.

Maybe it was the kiss that the Weaslette had forced them to share, or maybe it was her personality, or maybe it was the fact she had a really great body. Whatever the reason was, regardless of whether or not it was perverted, Draco couldn't get it out of his head. And now Potions was coming up. The class he was forced to be partners with Hermione – no – Granger with. Also in this class was his ex-girlfriend, Daphne. This was sure going to be awkward.

It also didn't help that Hermione - damn, _Granger _- had innocently smiled at him during Arithmancy. Neither did the fact that he bumped into her (literally) on his way to Transfiguration, dropped three rolls of parchment and all the books he was carrying, smashed an ink pot and broke a quill, and she had helped him pick up everything, even if it made them late to Transfiguration.

Mentioning that their hands had touched while she handed him his Arithmancy chart, and even complimented him on it, was probably useless at this point.

As Draco entered the Potions classroom, he couldn't help but feel slightly feel nervous about sitting in such close proximity to Granger.

And there she was, the subject haunting all his thoughts, the actual vision of light, Hermione Granger. Wait, no. Scratch that. Hermione Granger couldn't be the vision of light.

...Could she?

……….Was she?

Draco brushed the thought from his mind. It was a useless thought. How was he going to find out anyways?

"So………..Granger…………did you…uh………study?" Draco couldn't believe his own ears when he heard this come out of his traitorous mouth. Now she was going to think he was stupid!

Hermione looked at him strangely. "I always study."

Draco blushed. "Right, I knew that. I was trying to psych you out for NEWT's." Good comeback, Draco! he congratulated himself. You are the smartest person in the world!

"NEWT's aren't until May, Malfoy."

Draco mentally kicked himself. "Well………I knew that also."

Hermione smiled. "Sure you did."

She has nice teeth, Draco thought. They're so neat and white and all lined up and sparkly. Then he snapped back to reality. No! he yelled at himself. You are not going to start liking Hermione Granger again! You already know what your father did to you when he found about your crush on her in second year. Now, stop blushing and start smirking!

"What potion are we going to make today, Professor?" Ernie Macmillan asked Professor Slughorn, who had just arrived in the room. "Is it the Draught of Living Death?"

"Is it a weaker love potion?" Pansy Parkinson asked.

"Is it Felix Felicis again?" Ron Weasley shouted.

"Is it – " Blaise started to say, but he got cut off by Slughorn.

"No, that's potentially lethal and extremely dangerous; no, Miss Parkinson, those are _illegal_; no, the only one who needs luck in this classroom is me; and no, Mr. Zabini, I would not be interested to hear what potion you would like to make," Slughorn said in one breath. "We aren't making any potion today because I have to leave soon and therefore will not be teaching a lesson. There will be no teacher replacing me, either. No questions, you must all stay in here. Do not leave. I repeat, do not leave. I'll be locking the doors and windows magically. Stay in here and don't leave, if you don't want to get hurt. I'll be back in no more than three hours. _Stay where you are."_

As he swept out of the classroom with a swish, the class broke out into whispers.

Harry looked startled. "The Order's going to fight," he whispered to Ron.

"I know," Ron whispered back. "We have to help the Order. How can we get out of here?"

"I don't know," said Harry. "That's the hateful part of this situation. We're safe, but innocent people may be dying right now."

"Innocent people die everyday," Ron pointed out tactlessly.

Harry chose not to hear this. "I've got to find a way to fight," Harry said, this time louder, and with a more determined look in his eyes.

Over at the table where the Slytherins and Ravenclaws had all bunched up………

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Mandy Brocklehurst asked Blaise.

"Depends. Are you thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking you're thinking I'm thinking?"

"Are you thinking what – "

"Oh, shut up already!" interrupted Theo. "This is no time to be playing fickle word games!"

"This is the second time I've been interrupted today," Blaise hissed darkly. "I'm not happy."

"Can't you guys try to act like adults for a change?" Theo continued loudly. "I am so tired of you guys acting like the whole world revolves around you and only you! If you ever took a look around you, you'll find that your little fantasy world isn't what it seems. People are dying on the battlefield right now, and all you're thinking of what the other is thinking of! God, can't you just grow up already!"

"We were thinking of what you were thinking of," Mandy said timidly after Theo had finished his little tirade.

Theo was momentarily speechless.

"We were trying to think of some way we can get out of here," Blaise volunteered.

"Oh." Theo looked extremely embarrassed. "I guess I was wrong then."

"Apology accepted," Mandy immediately said.

"I never said an apology!" Theo shouted.

"But you implied it. Closest we'll ever get to an apology from Theodore Edmund Nott," Blaise joined in.

Theo held up his hand. "Okay, first of all,_ I did not apologize._ And second of all, how does everyone know my middle name?"

"Your mum wrote, 'Property of Theodore Edmund Nott, Love, Mummy' on all your robes," Mandy giggled.

"Ah."

0o0

Daphne Greengrass was sprinting across the hallways, racing past portraits that kept on saying to her, "Go back to your classroom, you shouldn't be here!"

How did she get out of the Potions classroom? Simple. Daphne merely projected a copy of herself outside the classroom, and unlocked the classroom door once the projected Daphne was outside. Slughorn should've checked the spell, she sneered mentally. Solid things can't pass through, but projections sure can. Projections can then be turned solid. I guess he never was a true Slytherin after all; the faithful Slytherins follow in the Dark Lord's footsteps.

"Daphne!"

It was her little snake of a half-sister, Diana. She had somehow managed to get out of her classroom as well.

_"Stupefy!"_ Daphne quickly tossed in Diana's direction. What she expected was Diana falling to the floor, effectively stunned. What she didn't expect was Diana conjuring up a shield so quickly Daphne didn't even have time to blink and shooting her spell right back at her.

_"Protego!"_

"Haven't even mastered nonverbal spells yet, huh, Daphne?" Diana sneered. "And you call yourself a Death Eater."

Daphne froze. "How do you know?"

Diana twirled her wand between her fingers. "I have my ways. _Sectumsempra!" _The spell shot at Daphne so fast, she barely had time to duck.

"You are going to regret the day you ever tried to mess with Daphne Olivia Greengrass, you little bitch! You are going to re – " Daphne suddenly collapsed as a jet of red light hit her straight in the chest, effectively paralyzing her.

"Regret what, Daphne? Your little sister finally proving her true colors? Or is it losing to her? Or worse, being found out and sent to Azkaban by that same sister? Yes, Daphne," Diana hissed. "I won't stop fighting until I send all you Death Eaters to Azkaban. I won't stop until I capture you all. The fighting between you and me is over. What's now there is hate and betrayal. I'll see you someday in the news, behind bars," Diana sneered as she started walking away. "Though we're related by blood, I'll never forget the day when your little crew of Voldemort-supporters tortured and killed my father. You may not have killed him, but now, you're one of them. I'm going to make you regret you ever joined in the first place. I'll make you regret all the lives you took. All the families you destroyed. All the pain you caused. Oh yes, I'm going to make you regret _every single bit of it."_

0o0

"Harry, is that really necessary?" Hermione asked, feeling extremely irked. "You've been chucking textbooks at the windows for ten minutes now.

"Slughorn's mortal. He may have made a mistake and forgot to charm one of the windows," retorted Ron.

"With only two windows in this room, Ronald, I sincerely doubt it."

A cry of, _"Reducto!" _was heard along with the thump of the book. The shattering sound of breaking glass then caught Hermione's ears.

"Gotcha!" Harry yelled.

Hermione was momentarily stunned.

"I won't say, 'I told you so," Ron sing-songed. _"I told you so!"_

"Oh, grow up already!"

"Hem, hem." Malfoy cleared his throat. Harry, Ron, and Hermione immediately whirled around, looking wildly around for Umbridge. "I couldn't help hearing that you broke the window, Potter," he continued.

"You were eavesdropping, Malfoy," Ron sneered. "Not hearing."

"Yes, yes, the window's broken, now we really must be going somewhere, bye-bye Malfoy," Hermione rushed out without taking a breath.

"Wait!" Malfoy called. Hermione turned around from levitating the boys. Harry and Ron yelped in surprise in the air - their bodies had been flipped to the side and upside down.

"What do you want now?"

Malfoy looked down. "Well...I...I wanted to say...you...I...never mind," he mumbled, turning away and sitting down again.

Hermione shrugged and floated Harry and Ron safely out of the window. She gasped when she turned around; Malfoy was right next to her.

"I'm coming with you."

Hermione was rendered momentarily speechless. "What?"

"I'm coming with you," he repeated. Hermione blinked twice and nodded slowly.

"Hermione!" Ernie Macmillan called out. "If _Malfoy's_ going to go, I'm going as well! The Macmillans are loyal to the end."

Cries of, "Me too!" and, "Let's go!" echoed around the classroom.

Pansy stood up and slammed her palm into the table. "To hell with my Death Eater parents, I'm going, too! Let them rot in Azkaban for all I care!"

As the entire class started queuing up near the window that Harry had broken, Hermione turned to Malfoy again.

"Are you sure about this? I mean, what with your father being a Death Eater - ah, supposed Death Eater."

He nodded. "That's why I'm going. I need to give the old patriarch a true taste of adolescent rebellion."

Hermione smiled. "Maybe you don't need to settle matters with wands. You could just walk into four spells of Avada Kedavras at once. It might actually kill him emotionally, that."

"Hmm………a double death. I'm flattered that you like to use the concept of killing two Malfoys with one idea."

Hermione smiled and inclined her head. "C'mon, let's go. And keep on remembering – " she turned around again. " – I still don't like you, Malfoy. You'll always be the ferret."

"Putting all animal comments aside, I'm flattered that you would take the time to remind yourself, _out loud_, I might add, that you have no feelings for me. Now that I think of it, this sounds familiar. Oh my, what a _scandal!_ Hermione Granger is harboring _secret affections_ for the great and powerful Draco Malfoy!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, but two spots of pink appeared on her cheeks. "Are you coming or not, ferret?" she asked briskly, and in one motion, levivated to the top, scaled the pane, and landed in the sewer.

The sewer?

Ewwww……….

Well, it made sense because their classroom was in the dungeons, but seriously, the sewer?

Ewwww………

0o0

Harry stopped in front of a large pine tree. "I think we're out of Hogwarts boundaries now."

"Everyone know how to Apparate?" Hermione asked.

Everyone nodded, some more shakily than others.

"Alright, let's go. Keep this in mind, 'The meeting place of the Order of the Phoenix is at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, in London. Our destination is 'Entrance Hall of number twelve, Grimmauld Place," Harry dictated, and passed around a piece of paper with some familiar writing on it. "Concentrate on what's been written on this piece of paper."

"Where's that?" Mandy asked. "And what's the Order of the Phoenix?"

"A meeting place," Hermione replied shortly. They had no time to explain.

"Ready?" Ron asked. "Okay, go!"

0o0

_Pop._ Harry landed shakily on the stairs in Sirius's house, nearly falling down. All around him, people were Apparating.

_Pop._ Ron Apparated neatly next to Blaise, who had somehow managed to Apparate in the same place as Mandy, as in on her head.

_Pop._ Hermione landed perfectly in the center of the hall, brushing some invisible lint off her clothes.

_Pop._ Malfoy had, along with the Slytherins, landed next to the stuffed house-elf heads. How suitable, Harry thought wryly.

"Who's there?" a familiar voice shouted, leaping out from behind a door, slightly scaring some people. It was Professor de Vellofides, their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"Professor de Vellofides? What are you doing here?" Hermione asked.

"Well, I was supposed to guard this house, make sure nobody tried to attack it, and to make sure nobody _got in_," de Vellofides said forcefully. "How'd you all know where the meeting place is?"

"We didn't," Mandy said suddenly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, we need to know where this Order of the Phoenix is fighting."

Porfessor de Vellofides sighed. "No."

"WHAT?" Harry yelled. "How can you not let us go? There are people dying out there at this very moment and for once, we can actually go and do something about it!"

de Vellofides sighed again. "Harry, children aren't supposed to fight in a war – "

" – I don't care! People are dying this very moment, and if you're not going to tell us – " Harry's wand suddenly jabbed de Vellofides in the chin. " – We'll make you."

And as if right from a war scene from a movie, one by one, everyone drew out their wands and gathered behind Harry.

"Now, tell us where the Order is."

0o0

A/N-Whoa, that was REALLY long! But I did get something important, as well as the first step to my twisted Cinderella plot in. Next chapter: The battle between the Light and Dark side, though not the Final Battle (that's coming later), some strange confessions, and most exciting of all, a second kiss!

I know some of you are wondering about the 'how can the other students get into Grimmauld Place if Dumbledore's dead', so I'll elaborate here. That piece of paper, as many of you have figured out, was the same piece of paper that Harry read before coming into the house. That was the piece of paper that Dumbledore wrote. In passing around the note again to other students, the others are able to know the location of the Order of the Phoenix because Dumbledore, who was Secret-Keeper, had told them directly in writing.

Anyways, the long-awaited answers to my reviews!

amythestpony – I tried to make Diana and Melody like their relatives and added a little something to them that the relative didn't have, so they wouldn't seem like ultimate clones to Daphne and Mandy. For Melody, I guess it was seriousness. For Diana, swearing and _way_ more power. For the catfight, well, I guess it turned out to be more of a wandfight. Diana _really_ kicked Daphne's ass! And yes, I saw the Fourth of July fireworks. I managed to get an okay photo of them, but then my friend emailed an absolutely perfect picture she took a few days later, and I practically ripped mine up in jealously.

me – Hmm……..let's just say that Daphne is a wonder of wonders……SHE'S TRANSEXUAL! OMG and the crowd goes wild!

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – What a coincidence there were events leading up to the battle in this chapter! And relax, the good people won't die in this battle, though some will die in the Final Battle.

Zagreb-girl – Diana and Melody are going to sell Daphne's secret to the highest bidder………only figuratively!

chaotic.flying.kitten – Michael Corner indeed now has a scar just like Harry's, except everyone will ridicule him instead of treating him as a hero.

Dom-Basher CHAMPION – Whoa, now there's a person running around screaming like a chicken with it's head cut off! Quick, somebody call a mental institution!

Additional thanks to Setsuna-chan09, Harmonic Melody, DA4life, pinkicing101, Sweet Essence, dragoneyes5000, Sam's Firefly, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, and MBL!

See you all next week!

-Lily in a Pond

2/23/07 - Changed a scene in the Potions classroom, and added some extras.


	15. Funeral Arrangements and Candy Brawls

Once Upon a Hogwarts-Chapter Fifteen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Erm...nothing to rent, nothing to own?

----------

"They were fighting in Hogsmeade?" Ron whispered, staring, horrified, at the scene. Death Eaters and members of the Order as well as the Aurors were shooting spells so quickly, the sky looked like it was permanently lit up with colors and occasionally, blood flew over the bush they were hiding behind. "That is so typical, fighting right under our noses!"

"Shush!" Harry hissed at him. "What if they hear us?"

But it was already too late. A hooded Death Eater shot a jet of purple light at the Auror he was fighting with and started walking towards them.

Morag MacDougal bit his bottom lip. "Er...you should go ahead, I'll take care of this."

Lisa Turpin looked apprehensive. "No offense, Morag, dear, but...you're not the most capable dueler."

"I know," said Morag, "but I feel like I can handle this."

"Can you?" Pansy asked skeptically. Morag glared at her.

_"Yes."_

As Morag leapt out of the bush they were hiding behind and tackled the Death Eater to the ground, Pansy groaned. "Great way to alert the others that there was a person in here."

"I hope he'll be alright after the fight," Ernie Macmillan said.

"Oh, I think he'll be fine," Hermione smiled. She pointed. "Look."

Morag grinned at the group, brushing his hands. Their eyes swiveled to the unconcious Death Eater, and the crumpled paper bag lying next to him.

"How did you do that?" Pansy asked, astonished. "You've never even been able to Disarm anyone, let alone Stun!"

"Simple," Morag smirked. "I forced a paper bag on his head."

Pansy was silent.

"And...?" Lisa prompted.

"And he fainted," Morag said slowly, as if he was talking to a small child.

"OH," Pansy said. "Fear of the dark...well, you definitely got lucky on that one, Morag." Morag scowled. "Anyway," she continued," now, to business," she said seriously.

Hermione drew out her wand. "Guess it's time to fight."

Harry took a deep breath. "Time to finish what Dumbledore left behind."

"Time to either kill or be killed," said Blaise darkly. "Time for battle."

0o0

The battlefield at Hogsmeade was a mess. There were curses flying everywhere, people ducking and running, blood on the ground, and every so often, you would trip over a fallen body.

As Blaise dodged a nasty Severing Hex, he collided with Mandy and they both fell to the ground.

_"Avada Kedavra!"_ the Death Eater Blaise was fighting with shouted at him.

"No!" Before Blaise knew what was going on, Mandy had pushed him out of the way, and the curse had traveled through the air, above Ernie Macmillan's head as he ducked quickly, under Pansy Parkinson's left arm, and hit a Death Eater.

_"Stupefy!"_ Blaise yelled and the Death Eater crumpled to the ground. "Thanks," he said quietly to Mandy. Mandy smiled.

"Anytime."

Meanwhile, near Honeydukes, Ron and Hermione were having a different sort of dilemma…..

"No! Step _away_ from the truffles!" Ron was yelling at the Death Eater.

Hermione's eyes widened when the Death Eater she was fighting (whom she strongly suspected was Crabbe or Goyle Senior) blasted the display of Sugar Quills into smithereens.

"Okay, mister, that was the wrong thing to do! You do not mess with Hermione Granger's Sugar Quills!"

The Death Eater blinked stupidly at her.

_"Diffindo Maximus!"_ Hermione yelled, covering the man's body with little cut marks.

"Hermione, if I die today, I just want to let you know that I'm sorry that I insulted your cat a lot in third year!" Ron yelled as he dodged a Crucio.

Hermione's eyes wealed up with emotion as she took a temporary break from the battle. "I'm sorry I attacked you with birds last year."

"I'm sorry – hey! You will _not_ explode the Droobles!" Ron was practically breathing fire and he tossed his wand to Hermione and in one swift motion, punched, shoved, and kicked the Death Eater in the you-know-where. _"Stupefy!"_ he yelled at the man now lying motionless on the ground.

Hermione was staring at him in shock and amusement. "I didn't know you were so passionate about the candy."

"Yeah, well, candy is a blessing and if he wants to abuse it, he will get kicked by me. Can I have my wand back?"

Over near the Shrieking Shack, Theodore Nott, Anthony Goldstein, and Lisa Turpin were having a another strange sort of problem. ……

Staring at the shack in which the Death Eaters they were fighting with had ran into, Anthony suddenly sighed and turned to Lisa.

"Lisa, if I die today, I just want you to know that I'm leaving to you my collection of Butterbeer bottle caps and my poster of the Weird Sisters."

Lisa grinned excitedly. "Anthony, if I die, I want you to know that you'll get my special just-for-brunettes shampoo, my Norwegian falcon quill, and my secret stash of Muggle Candy."

"Oh, and if I die, can you ask everyone to bury me in a redwood chest?" Anthony excitedly.

"Sure! Can you ask them to cremate me?"

"Now that you two are finished planning your _funerals_, can we go in already?" Theo's voice cut in cynically.

Lisa glared at him. "Can't you go in by yourself? We're planning our wills here!"

Theo rolled his eyes. "Oh, goody! Going into a house I have never been in before that also has three dangerous and homocidal Death Eaters in it!" he proclaimed sarcastically. "What a lovely idea! If I didn't know any better, I would think you guys were _trying_ to do me in! You know, I just might die before you, and when I do, I am leaving _everything_ to Blaise and Pansy! I'm not giving a bloody cent to you guys!"

"Fine!" Anthony bellowed back. "I don't need your bloody money! I'm dating Pansy anyways, I'll find a way to con the money out of her!"

Lisa looked disgusted. "I don't want to give my stuff to you anymore, Anthony. You con people."

"Fine, be that way, Lisa. I'm going to go in with Theo, and when I die, you're not getting anything either! So you can just die poor and..._dead!"_

"That doesn't make sense!" Lisa yelled. "How can I die dead if I'm dead already?"

"Will you people just shut up and attack us already?" a Death Eater shouted from the window of Shrieking Shack. "It's no fun talking about death if no one is dying!"

Theo, Anthony, and Lisa's heads snapped up immediately. They seemed to have forgotten that the main reason they were outside the Shrieking Shack was to attack the Death Eaters.

"Oops, forgot about them," Lisa laughed nervously. _"Occumbere Maximus Shrieking Shack."_ As the Shrieking Shack crumbled down to the ground, Lisa muttered something else and the three Death Eaters flew into the air and deposited near their feet. _"Reparo."_ The Shrieking Shack immediately flew back together in one whole piece.

"I never knew a house could be repaired after getting destroyed completely," Theo commented after a moment of silence for the now-dead Death Eaters.

"Neither did I," Lisa murmured as Anthony said,

"Yeah, well, you never knew you would be spending time with your friends, and not Daphne Greengrass," he shrugged.

"That's true. It's weird, it's like I've forgotten all about Daphne." When Lisa and Anthony raised their eyebrows at this, he continued and protested, "No, seriously, it's like she was nothing than a crush that I got over."

Anthony gave Theo a friendly slap on the back. "I'm proud of you, Theo. You finally got over your obsession with Daphne."

"God bless the random kindness of angels," Lisa intoned, clasping her hands and looking up at the sky.

Theo and Anthony looked at each other, and then burst out laughing.

Lisa scowled. "And God bless the fiery depths of Hell in which Theodore Edmund Nott and Anthony Caesar Goldstein will be deposited in after their extremely untimely and painful deaths."

----------

Draco peered down from the tree he had climbed up and looked for the signature white blond hair of his father.

A rustling in the tree startled him.

"Hey," Hermione whispered as she plopped down next to him. Draco stared at her coolly.

"Oh, come on, Malfoy; I know you want to throttle someone or burn this tree right now, although you really shouldn't think about that stuff," said Hermione, backing away slightly after realizing what she had just said. "...Stop hiding it, it's not good for you."

"I don't have anger management. That's Weasel's department," Draco snorted.

Hermione frowned. "Fine. Well, I'll be leaving now. I still have to hex Macnair for what he did to Buckbeak, or what he almost did." As the rustling of leaves sounded again, Hermione's head popped out of nowhere and her eyes drilled into Draco's. Draco's eyes popped open slightly, but he refrained from screaming like a little girl on a balloon high.

"Unless………you want some company……?"

"No," Draco huffed.

"Fine, fine, I get the hint; I'll go," Hermione said. A moment later, her head popped back into view. "Are you sure - ?"

"No!"

Hermione looked hurt. "Well, then, why do you allow me to keep coming back?"

"That's an extremely good question," snapped Draco. "Why _do_ I?"

Hermione sat down on the branch again, sighing, and patted his shoulder. "You don't have to do this, you know," she whispered softly.

"...I know. But I'm going to. It's something I just……….have to do." Draco muttered. "But you don't care about that - "

"I do."

"Oh."

"Draco..." Hermione began. "I know this is a hard thing to do, but you have to follow through. Give it everything you've got."

Draco tilted his head back and looked at her under his eyelashes.

"I know this is going to bring up so many bad memories for you, and it's going to hurt, but it'll all be good in the long run. I promise. It'll turn out fine. And even if it doesn't, we'll all make it better for you. Everyone cares for you, Draco, even if you think they hate you. Nobody wants to see one of the people they treasure most die. I promise...that no matter what happens, we'll be there for you. We'll be that shoulder to lean upon, we'll be the tub of ice cream and chocolate, we'll be ready to go the extra mile. We truly care for you. And I - I care the most. If you died..." she trailed off, looking hesitantly at Draco.

Draco looked into Hermione's eyes. "I never thought I'd be saying this, but you might the one person that can really understand me. Not Blaise, not Pansy, not even Potter. You can."

Draco looked at her for a moment, and then leaned towards Hermione and planted the softest of kisses on her lips. "Thank you...Hermione."

As the wind flew by and whipped Hermione's hair around, Draco disappeared in a flurry of leaves.

Hermione gently touched her lips. "Draco..."

A bright flash of white light interrupted her thoughts.

"Voldemort," Hermione breathed.

----------

A/N-Woohoo! This was definitely one of my favorite chapters I've written so far. And yes, I know that I've mentioned that this _isn't_ the Final Battle, but it will actually turn into the Final Battle. Still,

THIS BATTLE IS NOT THE FINAL BATTLE.

Also, Butterbeers and Cauldron Cakes to everyone who realized the meaning of the whole Hermione-and-Draco-sitting-in-a-tree thing.

Twenty galleons to anyone who figured which song lyrics were featured in this chapter. (It's only a little part of the lyrics, though.)

The answers to the burning, flaming, smoldering, fiery, sizzling, blazing, radiating, and roaring reviews……….

potc-and-hpfan – Er……..well, I think it worked because I have certainly updated, but it's rather faulty since I didn't update at the specified time.

serpentine17ice – Hey, I like that too! If you put strawberry jelly on it, it tastes good too. Ooh, or marmalade!

Sam's Firefly – Ferrets ARE cute, I saw one at the pet shop a few days ago. It was so adorable!

melanie – Daphne admitted to being a DE because she was under the Veritaserum and Melody and Diana asked her that because torturing someone and then killing them sounds a LOT like typical DE behavior.

Additional thanks to Setsuna-chan09, dragoneyes5000, DA4life, xo evolremmus xo, AnimeAlexis, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, pink butterfly, and Bri Leonard!

EDIT 7/29/07 - Changed the beginning of the chapter quite a bit and modified the Draco/Hermione kiss scene.

-Lily in a Pond


	16. Final Battle of the Comics

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Sixteen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song, though I sure wish I did. Then I could bring Dumbledore back from the dead and force him to give me his magical powers.

0o0

_Flashback of last chapter………_

_A blinding flash of white light erupted within Hogsmeade. The prophecy was about to be fulfilled._

_End flashback……_

Severus Snape's eyes widened in shock. This day had turned out to be frightfully eventful in his view. The Final Battle was finally here, old enemies were settling their differences, and from his place on top of Hogsmeade's highest hill, it appeared that the Aurors and the Order were actually winning the battle below.

"Looks like that klutz was handy for something," he smirked as Nymphadora Tonks tripped over a body on the ground and managed to grab two Death Eaters' robes, effectively bringing them down with her.

As Snape turned away, he closed his eyes for a moment and reflected on what had happened into the last forty-eight hours.

A few days before, Voldemort had paid a visit to his house in Spinner's End, telling him of his plan to ambush Hogsmeade and trap Harry Potter there, assuming that Potter would gather his friends and try to help out the Order and the Aurors, pushing on Potter's tendency to help the people he knew.

Of course, merely fifteen minutes later, Snape had returned from Knockturn Alley, armed with the potion ingredients that were required to make a Resurrection Potion.

Now, two days later, the potion was brewing nicely in the basement of Snape's house, concealed with numerous charms and spells and required a password.

Then he saw movement from the corner out his eye. Snape swore softly. This moment wasn't supposed to come so quickly, the potion isn't ready, he thought irritably. Potter was always a fool; he went into the battle too fast!

Snape Apparated from the spot, turning in a swish of robes.

In the tiny, desolate village of Spinner's End, a light flicked on in one house, and jets of multicolored light lit up the gray sky for a moment.

Then the light went out.

OoOoOoO

Voldemort smirked widely. "Harry Potter. How nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Harry sneered back. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw some people levitate bodies off the ground and deposit them in a pile.

Ron bravely stepped forward. "If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill all of us first."

"Well, I wouldn't really say that, since I do treasure my life," Theodore Nott mumbled quietly. Pansy jabbed him in the side.

Voldemort's eyes swept off Harry and instead turned to Theo. "Ah, Nott. Theodore, I believe."

Theo narrowed his eyes and nodded curtly.

"I must say, it's a shame you didn't follow in your father's footsteps. He was a powerful man. He killed many people before succumbing to death himself. You would have made the right decision by joining me."

Pansy stepped forward and looked Voldemort in the eye. "Power isn't measured by how many people you kill, it's measured on what you do."

Voldemort's gaze swept to Pansy now. "Miss Parkinson. I see you also have chosen to fight against me. Shame, that."

"They're not the only ones to defy their upbringing," a new voice spoke up.

Voldemort inclined his head. "MacDougal. I'm saddened to hear about what happened to your father." His eyes swept across the group of Slytherins gathered in a tight little circle.

"Zabini." Voldemort shook his head. "You would turned out great. I would've given you everything you ever desired."

"Everything I desired?" Blaise spat out. "Oh, so you can find a way to bring my father back for good? You know perfectly well that you and my snake of a mother plotted together to murder him in his sleep!"

"You mother just wanted what was best for you," Voldemort replied coolly. "Obviously, she misinterpreted your plans for the future."

Voldemort turned to face the rest of group gathered there. "So……….the children of my faithful Death Eaters have decided to rebel, eh? Let's see…….we have Nott, Parkinson, Zabini, MacDougal, and………..ah…………Mr. Malfoy."

A Death Eater on Voldemort's right suddenly hissed menacingly.

"Settle down, Lucius. You can deal with him later," Voldemort said sharply. "Now…………we fight."

"If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get," Hermione said bravely. "We're not going down without pulling you down with us."

"That's right," Ernie Macmillan spoke up. "Nearly all our families have waited their whole lives for this moment."

"Half the Brocklehurst clan died at your hands, _Voldemort_," Mandy spat out, stressing his name. "And after today, there'll be no more innocent blood shed."

Voldemort's red eyes turned to Mandy. "Such brave words for a girl who I remember, from sixteen years ago, Apparated yourself to the Ministry when I was murdering your father, abandoning the rest of your family and, in a way, caused the deaths of your _beloved _father, aunts, uncles, brothers, sister, and cousins."

Mandy's eye flickered for moment, and then went back to cold, hard blue. "If I didn't Apparate to the Ministry, I would not be here to avenge my father and the nine other members of my family that you and your slimy little group of snake-human worshippers tortured and killed that day."

"Enough chitchat," Voldemort suddenly snapped, pulling out his wand and turning to Harry again. "I've had enough of having a little boy escaping my clutches over and over again. Prepare to die, Potter."

"Like you haven't said that a million times before," Harry scoffed.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed even more. _"Avada Kedavra!" _

As a multitude of curses flew over their heads, Hermione pulled Ron behind a bush and whispered,

"What about the Horcruxes? Harry hasn't destroyed them all yet!"

"We'll just have to cross our fingers and hope to win," Ron said, smiling slightly as he recited the famous Chudley Cannons motto. "Besides, I think luck is on our side," he grinned as he held up two bottles of…………what looked suspiciously like………Felix Felicis!

"Ron, how did you get this?" Hermione demanded.

"Courtesy of the Prince's instructions," Ron said. "And Harry Potter's cauldron, of course."

Hermione rolled her eyes. The Prince is still getting on my nerves! She thought irritably. Felix Felicis takes usually a week to brew, but _no_, stupid Snape comes up with a way to finish it about two days!

"C'mon, let's hand it out," said Ron, nudging Hermione, handing her one bottle. "You take the left side, I'll distribute the right side. And make sure you tell everyone that this is Felix Felicis, don't let them think it's anything else."

Hermione looked confused for a second, but then nodded. "Let's go."

OoOoOoO

Felix Felicis had indeed worked its magic. Flashes of green light and cries of, "Avada Kedavra!" were heard all around Hogsmeade, but luckily, no one from the Light side dropped dead.

"Am I too late? Is Harry dead? Is Voldemort dead?" Ginny screeched as she crashed into Hermione.

"No, nobody's dead – hold on," Hermione stopped mid-sentence, staring at her friend. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Ginny shot a Bat-Bogey towards a hooded Death Eater. "We made all the desks and chairs smash into the window in Charms. Window broke after an hour."

"Quick, drink this!" Hermione passed Ginny the bottle of Felix Felicis.

"Is this Felix Felicis?" Ginny asked curiously, staring at the bottle.

"Yes, yes," Hermione replied impatiently. "We need everything we've got in this battle – I don't really care if we're playing dirty – we have to win."

"This is pineapple juice, Hermione," Ginny said, shaking her head. "It's not liquid luck. Who brewed this?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Ron," she said between clenched teeth. "He must have taken a leaf out of Harry's book and did that confidence mind-play thing Harry did last year!" Hermione's hands were balled up into tight fists. "RONALD WEASLEY, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

OoOoOoO

"_Consectio!" _Mandy yelled at one of the Death Eaters surrounding her, making a major gash appear on his stomach. _"Lippitinis!" _The second Death Eater, grabbed his eyes, shrieking in agony. Inflammation of the eyes, Mandy thought. That was the first spell I heard you say, Dad.

A sharp roundhouse kick to another Death Eater's jaw sent him flying. _"Externus vena!" _Blood vessels flew out of the man's open mouth and spilled onto the floor. That was for you, Terra, Mandy thought grimly, remembering her sister's burnt body lying dead in the fireplace.

Mandy knew she was using spells that were usually found in books about Dark Magic, but she had realized early on in her life that the only way to oppose a Dark wizard was to challenge him with his own style of magic. Mandy had practiced a lot of Dark Magic while she was in her fourth year, but after her brother's body was discovered two summers ago, hacked into pieces, underneath the rubble of what used to be Brocklehurst Manor, Mandy had sworn off all magic until the start of the her fifth year at Hogwarts, when Death Eaters had attacked some of the remaining members of her family. Mandy had once again, like Voldemort had said, Apparated herself away to safety, leaving her cousins to be killed. And now, Mandy was tired of running away, saving her own life, but sacrificing someone else's. Now, Mandy was ready to look death in the face.

As Mandy finished breaking the arms of two Death Eaters and stunned them, she suddenly grabbed the hand that was sneaking over her shoulder – towards her wand – and expertly threw the body facedown onto the ground.

Mandy slowly lifted the mask off and gasped.

"…………Daphne Greengrass…………?"

OoOoOoO

The battlefield was at a standstill as Voldemort blasted away everyone from the center of the square in Hogsmeade.

"_Nagini! Attack the boy!"_ Voldemort hissed at his snake in Parseltongue.

Harry didn't miss a beat._ "Serpentsortia!"_ A pale green snake, skin slick with shiny scales, instantly materialized. _"Kill the other snake!" _Harry hissed at his snake.

Voldemort smirked as he watched Nagini in combat with Harry's snake. "Clever, Potter. A snake for a snake."

"Just like a murder for a Horcrux, Voldemort," Harry said, thinking quickly. Harry knew that Voldemort still had some of his Horcruxes, so he knew this was the only way to get Voldemort to reveal what his Horcruxes were and where they were.

"We seem to have an understanding, then. That silly Myrtle girl for my diary, my filthy Muggle relatives for the ring, the greasy haired, sniveling Mr. Burkes of Borgin and Burkes for the locket, that foolish woman – Smith or something – for Hufflepuff's cup, some of the Brocklehurst clan for Ravenclaw's hourglass, and finally, that old Muggle man for Nagini," Voldemort hissed. "You haven't destroyed anything yet by yourself, have you, boy? You're pathetic and useless, without Dumbledore around. You're just an ordinary wizard with no exceptional powers. An ordinary boy who is about to die." Voldemort smirked and raised his wand.

_"Avada Kedav – "_

" – Er, did you say one of your Horcrux-thingies was Hufflepuff's cup?" Ernie Macmillan suddenly interrupted. He immediately looked away as Voldemort turned his eyes on him.

"Yes, one of my Horcruxes was Hufflepuff's cup," Voldemort slowly said.

Ernie looked down even more. "Well, I think – and it's not really my fault entirely – I think I may have – I _think _– I may have kind of, you know, destroyed it." This last part was said a hushed whisper. Nevertheless, Voldemort still heard it.

_"What?"_

"I kinda, er, Banished it into the fireplace in my fourth year," Ernie mumbled, backing away slowly. "I swear, I'm not the only guilty party, Justin Finch-Fletchey wanted me to practice Banishing Spells with him! So he was actually the root cause of this!"

Voldemort's hands were shaking were fury. "So, this is how one of my beloved Horcruxes met its end – by a pair of foolish little Hufflepuffs – it ended in the fireplace, did it not?_ By a pair of Hufflepuffs!"_ he yelled, the ground quavering below him and eyes glowing.

Mandy suddenly collapsed to the ground, eyes open wide.

"Drainage of her power," Voldemort idly commented, his tone and eyes now cooled. "Add that to the emotion I've just showed. She's not used to using Dark Magic, is she?"

_"Expelliarmus!"_

Voldemort easily dodged it without turning around and laughed scornfully at Ron.

"And I thought you were a Gryffindor, Weasley. Attacking someone when their back is turned, rather cowardly, don't you think?"

Ron scoffed at Voldemort and opened his mouth, but was interrupted.

"Are you Lord Voldemort?" a new voice piped up.

Voldemort stared down at Luna Lovegood in obvious disgust. "Of course I am, who else will dare call himself Lord Voldemort in public?"

"My father says that isn't true. He says that your real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle," Luna continued, acting like hadn't heard him at all. "He says Lord Voldemort is just a stupid, silly, childish anagram for your real name, which you should be using properly."

"Ah. You must Luna Lovegood, your father owns the Quibbler, doesn't he? I used to read that before I bought my first pair of swishy robes," Voldemort said pleasantly. "There were some interesting crossword puzzles and articles in there. In fact, I think my subscription is still being sent to that flat I rented in London."

"Oh, I can get Daddy to renew the subscription and have it sent to your new address," said Luna mildly, not at all aware that she was having a polite conversation with the most feared Dark Wizard of all time.

"That would be nice," Voldemort replied. "But can he send me the September issue that included the Spectrespecs? Those are very quite fascinating to look through."

Luna rummaged a bit through her robes. "Here, you can have mine."

"Hey, I hate to end this little chat, but I've got a Killing Curse just waiting to come out of my wand and hit someone in the chest," Harry interrupted. "And sometime in the near century, please."

"Have it your way, Potter," Voldemort sneered. Then he turned to Luna. "Thank you for the Spectrespecs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Boy-Who-Lived butt to Avada."

"Sorry, but no one says that anymore," Lisa Turpin said. "You really need to learn some new slang."

Voldemort ignored her. _"Avada Keda – "_

"Look! One of the snakes is strangling the other!" Colin Creevey yelled. The others gave him a what-are-you-doing-here look, but then realized that if Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley were there, Colin Creevey could too.

"That's Harry's snake!"

"No, it's You-Know-Who's!"

"The snakes are the same color, how are you supposed to know?"

"Ouch, that would've hurt. Getting bit in the you-know-where by the snake."

"Wow! How much d'you think one of those snake skins would sell?"

Theodore Nott stared at Anthony Goldstein in unmasked disbelief.

Anthony shrugged. "I like money."

Harry didn't know which snake was his, so he just stood there and stared.

Voldemort took this opportunity to shout, _"Avada Kedavra!"_ at Harry. Luckily, Hermione noticed his wand move and quickly pulled Harry down.

"Can't do anything without your sidekicks, can you?" Voldemort taunted. "You always need other people to save your small, pitiful, little life."

"Well, at least I _have_ people to save my small, pitiful, little life!" Harry yelled. Then, realizing what he just said, rephrased his sentence, "I mean, at least I have people to save my _wonderful, gorgeous_ life!"

"I've got people to save my life too!" Voldemort bellowed, his wand now emitting sparks. "I've got the Death Eaters!" He whirled around and pointed his wand at the Death Eaters. "And don't you dare say that you're not willing to die for me. Or else – " His voice dropped another notch. " – You'll be dying, just not dying for me."

"Oh my freaking god!" Pansy Parkinson shrieked. "This freaking battle is taking so freaking long! Just get your freaking wands and freaking kill each other already! I don't have any freaking time for this, I've got a freaking facial scheduled in a freaking hour!"

The battlefield was instantly quiet.

"You know that you've said 'freaking' eight times in four sentences, right?" Blaise said.

"I freaking know that, Blaise! But this is just taking so freaking long! Every time Harry or Tall, Dark, and Not So Handsome here tries to freaking kill the other person, something freaking happens!" Pansy was nearly ripping out her hair now.

"Oh god," Malfoy moaned. "She's going to start hyperventilating."

"Need – paper – bag – " Pansy wheezed.

"Here," Malfoy, Theo, Blaise, and Anthony said in unison.

"We need to reschedule this battle," Malfoy said to Voldemort, pointing to Pansy. "We've got a hyperventilation case over here, you've got most of your Death Eaters knocked out, and I think your snake is dead," he added as an afterthought, leaning forward to touch the lifeless snake.

Nagini hissed mencingly at him and snapped at his fingers. Malfoy jumped back. "Never mind, she's alive and kicking!"

"Alright Potter, why don't we work something out?" Voldemort suggested in a tone that suggested he wasn't suggesting anything at all. "We'll meet next Saturday, in the Quidditch field at Hogwarts, at ten o'clock sharp. You bring your little friends and I'll bring my paid assassins. Sound good?"

Harry nodded. "Just one thing, though. Why the Quidditch pitch?"

Voldemort's features darkened. "I may have had an incident with a broomstick when I was eleven and I also may have an evil plan to destroy Hogwarts' Quidditch pitch."

Theo cackled loudly. When everyone looked at him, he shrugged and said, "What? He made a funny, and I laughed."

Voldemort blinked in the stop-laughing-right-now-or-I'll-hex-you-to-tomorrow-and-back way. Theo continued laughing.

Blaise expertly struck Theo on his temple, effectively knocking him unconscious. "Shut it, man."

"I'll see you Saturday then, Potter," Voldemort said, slipping his wand back into his robes. "Happy first deathday in advance, though."

"I could say the same to you," Harry said. "But I can't, as everyone here has already heard you say it."

As Voldemort and his still-breathing followers Disapparated, Harry turned back to Ron and Hermione. "Did I just make a date with death?"

Ron shrugged. Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted rudely by Malfoy, who appeared behind her and tugged on her arm, moaning, "Hermione, Hermione, I got hurt! Can you fix it?" Hermione stared at him in confusion, but then realized what he was doing.

"Well, where did you get injured?" Hermione asked, looking genuinely concerned. Harry and Ron exchanged looks of horror. Hermione and Malfoy were serious about the going-out-with-each-other announcement they made!

"My lips are feeling a little funny," Malfoy was saying. "Can you kiss the wound to make it better?"

SLAP.

Hermione stalked off, muttering things like, "Odious bastard," or, "Egotistic ferret," or even, "Malformed piece of (insert something that makes even a woman in labor blush that I cannot put in here due to the rating)." Nobody noticed her smile secretly, and whisper to Malfoy, who had caught up to her, "That sure freaked Harry and Ron out!"

Malfoy smirked sneakily and rubbed his cheek. "But I did get hurt!" He continued in a loud voice."I got hurt on the cheek just right now!"

Harry looked at Ron. Ron shrugged. "It's Hogwarts, Harry. Hermione hooking up with Malfoy, Luna talking to Voldemort, Voldemort having a subscription to the Quibbler, it's all good, Harry."

Harry looked off into the distance. "Yeah, but soon it's all going to end. In six days, either I'll be dead, or Voldemort will."

"Don't worry, mate. The good side always wins."

Harry sighed again. "But what if it doesn't?"

"Well, look at it this way," Ron said. "If the good side doesn't win, you could always send a little spooky thing called the ghost of Harry Potter down to haunt Voldemort forever. Oh, and by the way, if you die, can I have your Firebolt?"

Harry stared at him. "No, Ginny's getting it."

"Ah well, fair enough, future spouse makes more sense than future brother-in-law."

"Oh, my god!" Theo moaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. No one was quite sure what he was moaning about - the place where Blaise had struck him, or something else."Why is everyone talking about death? Can't you people just appreciate the living community?"

"Geez, I don't know. Maybe it's because the dead and gay community has more interesting members?" Blaise said with a straight face.

Theo scowled. Blaise just shrugged. "Well, I'm going to go. Gotta go check if Mandy's okay - I mean, if Brocklehurst is, you know, alive or something. 'Cause, you know, it's...er...polite."

Theo gave Blaise's retreating back the finger. "Drop dead, Zabini."

Behind him, Morag clapped. "Welcome to the dead community, Theo. You're going to have a great time here. Feel free to discuss anything about funeral arrangements, wills, hauntings, and/or imprints upon the living."

OoOoOoO

A/N-I'm really sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I got a case of Writer's Block midway. So then, I watched a few episodes of "Friends" and got my funny back! Sorry if this chapter sounds really messed up, because usually, a mock Final Battle is supposed to be serious and somber, telling of killings and deaths.

By the way, this still isn't the end, though, for all the people who are now screaming with fury, "What? It's not over? The nerve!"

No, this chapter was to provide an insight on a very important battle, get rid of one of the Horcruxes, give you a clue to where the Ravenclaw Hurcrux is, hold some slight Dramione, and have humor.

The answers to my reviews! (orchestra starts playing)

Bri Leonard – Sent you a PM. Hope to read your reply soon!

dragoneyes5000 – I'm so glad you liked my battle! I wasn't too sure about making it funny, but I did it anyways. Now I'm really glad I did it.

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – How was Wales? And yes, you did mention going to Wales in your earlier review for Chapter 14.

AnimeAlexis – The light was Voldemort arriving. I suppose, in my story, he likes to make a scene when arriving/departing.

amythestpony – Sorry, but you'll have to wait just a little bit more for the final face-off. But as a consolation prize, there'll be more Dramione!

pinkicing101 – Ever since Blaise and Mandy's pranks went out of the plot, I've been looking for another character (s) to give a humorous soul to. I guess that was Theo. Ah, poor Theo. He's not going to end with Daphne, he might get killed in a few chapters, and the author, yours truly, has forced her sarcastic-ness upon him.

Natural-181 – The story's not ending! Not yet! This author isn't going down without a fight!

Additional thanks to angua325, xo evolremmus xo, Sweet Essence, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, pink butterfly, and me!

I promise the update will be faster this time!

-Lily in a Pond


	17. Dirty Little Secrets

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Seventeen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my beautifully fabricated plot.

OoOoOoO

Theodore Nott's hands shook slightly as he poured himself his fifth cup of coffee at breakfast the next day. Of course, that could be due to the amount of sugar and caffeine running through his veins right now, but the real reason was that Theo did not have a comfortable night.

He kept dreaming that someone was trying to strangle him with his Slytherin tie, choking him over and over until he died a thousand deaths. Needless to say, Theo's tie was a little looser than usual around his neck this morning.

"Hey, Theo! Are you okay?" Blaise asked, leaning over to grab the orange juice.

Theo grunted.

"You look like you didn't sleep well last night," Malfoy observed.

"You look positively ghastly!" Pansy exclaimed.

Theo grunted again.

The others looked at each other. After a few exchanging glances, Morag leaned forward,

"Look, we know that you had a rough time at the battle yesterday. Seeing your dad again, facing your mum, almost dying, loads of people shamelessly talking about death, the whole issue with your childhood memories coming back. But, come on, get over it. These things will come and go, you'll learn to forgive and forget. The pain will eventually die away and you'll be…………somewhere close to being happy again."

Another grunt.

"Theo," Pansy said dangerously. "If you don't answer me this minute with a verbal response, I will send a Howler to you tomorrow morning screaming obscenities about you and questioning your sexuality."

Theo looked up. "Fine," he muttered. "You win this time, Pansy. But don't be surprised if you find Blast-Ended Skrewts in your bed," he added silently.

"Pansy!" Morag screamed. "Theo's gonna put Blast-Ended Skrewts in your bed!"

Theo stared at Morag in shock. Now the boy could hear _internal_ voices? he screamed silently. As if his hearing wasn't already freakishly sharp!

"I can hear you," Morag said. "You're actually saying the words out loud very, very, _very _quietly, but with my _freakishly sharp hearing_, I can hear it."

Theo scowled and returned to his coffee. Beside him, Blaise and Pansy were having an Inter-Table discussion with the Ravenclaws.

"I'm telling you!" Blaise was saying. "My mum shut her fourth husband in a tomb in Egypt!"

"That's impossible," Lisa Turpin scoffed. "Eventually he could dig his way out if he really wanted to."

"But then what about the curses and hexes surrounding the tombs?" Pansy shot back. "He'd be zapped by the time he made it out, if he ever made it out!"

"Hello? _Shield Charms!" _Terry Boot said, waving his arms furiously. A frightened first year sitting nearby quickly pushed his plate away.

"The Egyptians used ancient magic!" Blaise bellowed. "D'you really think they'd let a couple of juvenile Shield Charms penetrate their tombs?"

"Oh, I think so,"Luna Lovegood said calmly, joining the conversation and pushing her plate of eggs away. "If they could bow down to a _beetle_, then they'd definitely be thick enough to let Shield Charms through."

"She has a point," Pansy whispered to Blaise.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Oi! Draco! We need you over here!" Everyone knew Draco Malfoy was practically the king of insulting arguments.

Malfoy looked up. "No thanks, I'm too busy watching you two! This is really funny!"

Blaise and Pansy shot all ten fingers at Malfoy.

"Anyways, you can't use only Shield Charms throughout the whole tomb!" Pansy said. "Ancient Magic is different, they'll have all sorts of weird stuff going in their protections!"

Theo shook his head in amusement. "Losers," he muttered. "They're never going to win this argument with the _Ravenclaws_."

Just then, someone tapped Theo on the shoulder.

Theo jumped and spilled half his coffee over his robes.

"You – filthy – ack – but – you – loser – maniac – " Theo sputtered before remembering that he was a wizard and whipped his wand out.

"Hey, relax," Harry Potter said, throwing his hands up. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you, Theo."

"We wanted to thank you and your pack of Slytherins for helping us yesterday," Ron Weasley added, popping up behind Harry.

"So," Hermione Granger said. "Thank you."

Theo raised an eyebrow. "Well, we Slytherins didn't want you Gryffindors to die virgins, did we?"

Ron paled behind Harry. Hermione looked at him questioningly.

"What is it, Ron? Oh, you _didn't_………………………….did you?"

Ron just blushed.

"_Who?_ Oh, was it Lavender?"

Ron slowly nodded, the tips of his ears turning beet red.

Hermione just shook her head and walked away. Theo saw out of the corner of his eye that she was repeatedly banging her head against the Hufflepuff table, causing Ernie Macmillan and Justin Finch-Fletchey to stop eating and stare.

Harry turned back to Theo. "Er – well, thank you for helping us discover that bit of information. I'll see you around………….." he trailed off, looking blankly at the place where Ron had standing.

"Well," Theo said jauntily, buttering his toast. "That was an interesting start to breakfast." Then he realized that no one was listening to him; they were all too interested to watch Crabbe and Goyle shove ham down their throats.

Theo turned his attention to Crabbe and Goyle, absentmindedly sipping his coffee.

"Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!" The crowd shouted.

OoOoOoO

Draco Malfoy slunk behind a tapestry near the Transfiguration corridor, nibbling on a muffin.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione, Potter, and Weasley walk towards him.

Just in time, he thought to himself.

"Hi sweetie," he cooed sweetly, jumping in front of the Golden Trio and making Weasley drop his bag. "I brought you a muffin."

Hermione looked at him like was a particularly dirty spot on her shoe.

Draco sighed. Alright, he thought. Time for Plan B.

"Remember what I needed to talk to you about yesterday?" Draco asked, emphasizing on the words with a little inclination of his head.

Hermione's eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes! The……….er……………_thing_……………about the……………………._thing_."

"Okay, let's go!" Draco said, trying to smile with teeth. He failed miserably; he now looked like one of those atrocious and obscene-looking clowns at a circus.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at his………smile, if you could call it that, and followed him to the nearest classroom.

"I'll see you later!" she called over her shoulder.

After their heads had disappeared, Ron turned to Harry.

"Why do I get the feeling that this is turning into another Krum situation, but with a lot of snogging?"

Harry shrugged. "Don't ask me, you should have the answers. After all," he grinned mischievously, "you are the seventeen-year-old-non-virgin."

OoOoOoO

Mandy Brocklehurst nodded and smiled to Orla Quirke, trying to act like everything was alright.

Inside, Mandy was a nervous wreck.

I can't believe everyone's behaving so…….regularly, she thought irritably. Shouldn't they be a little bit shaken up from yesterday?

Well, they didn't watch half their family get murdered before their eyes, did they? her conscience countered.

They've all had their childhood horrors, Mandy protested.

None of theirs came close to yours, the voice helpfully said. Their families weren't killed, tortured, and/or burned alive.

Mandy sighed and leaned back into her seat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Theodore Nott looking extremely wan, drinking yet _another _cup of coffee.

Well, there's somebody else sharing your misery, she thought. Theo got up and walked over to where Crabbe and Goyle were having some sort of eating competition and started mocking them loudly.

Not anymore, Mandy thought dejectedly. Even Theodore Nott, king of hermit-ness and lonely solitude, has moved on.

"Are you okay, Mandy?" Anthony Goldstein asked, peering into her eyes. He gasped. "Whoa, everyone, come look at this, Mandy's eyes have changed color!"

Mandy gasped and whipped out a mirror. She sighed in relief when she saw her blue eyes reflecting back at her.

"How did her eyes change?"

"Whoa, look at this!"

"Wow, this is so weird!"

"What spell did she use?"

Now everyone was gathering around her like she was some sort of wild animal on display. Mandy groaned.

"Will you all get out of my sight before I hex you to next week!" Mandy yelled, snapping her compact closed with a _click_. "Or should I force your blood vessels to fly out of your body?"

The crowd backed away, most of them looking very frightened.

"Thank you," Mandy spat, stalking away with an indignant huff.

As Mandy walked away, she heard Anthony say, "What did I do? I just made a comment about her eyes?"

Mandy sighed and leaned against the wall. No one understands what I went through with my eyes, she thought. No one ever will. And for once, her conscience didn't argue with that.

OoOoOoO

"So…………………" Malfoy trailed off.

"So," Hermione agreed.

"So," Malfoy repeated.

"So………" Hermione said, looking inquisitively at him.

"So," Malfoy said, as if it was an answer to a question.

"So…………?" Hermione asked.

"What?" Malfoy asked.

"What?" Hermione asked, now confused.

"Okay, let me start over," Malfoy said. "So….."

Hermione sighed. "I already know you have a vocabulary problem, Malfoy, you don't have to demonstrate it in front of me."

Malfoy scowled. "Well, if I have a vocabulary problem, then you have a social problem."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "This, coming from a ferret who squeaks for speech?"

"I knew you would work that into the conversation!"

Hermione smiled, showing pearly whites. "That's very true, considering that I an more skilled with words than you, Malferret. Again, vocabulary."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Okay, let's start over, _again_. I just to thank you for………….for being there for me when I needed it the most," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Iwantedtothankyouforbeingthereformeyesterday," Malfoy rushed out, louder.

"What?"

"THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME YESTERDAY!" Malfoy practically screamed. "God, clean out your ears, Granger!"

Hermione smiled and put a hand to her heart. "That is so sweet, Malfoy. I didn't know you cared."

"I don't!" Malfoy said hotly.

"Yes you do, you _luuuuurrrrrrrve _me, Malfoy!"

Someone gasped from the doorway. Hermione and Malfoy whipped around, Hermione's hair almost hitting Malfoy in the face.

"This is so juicy!" Lavender Brown squealed. "Draco Malfoy loves Hermione Granger! Wait 'till I tell Parvati! Ooh, this is going to be the talk of Hogwarts for months! A Slytherin and a Gryffindor getting together and falling in love!"

"Lavender, you cannot tell anyone about this!" Hermione pleaded. "Or…….I'll tell everyone about your little adventures with Ron in the bedroom!' she shrieked, a sudden burst of inspiration hitting her.

Unfortunately, Hermione's shriek was a little louder than a normal shriek should be. Everyone who was walking to NEWT Transfiguration stopped in their tracks and crowded in the classroom.

"I can't believe you told them, Ron!" Lavender cried, glaring at Ron. She turned back to Hermione and Malfoy.

"Uh-oh," they chorused.

"Malfoy's in love with Hermione!" Lavender shrieked, pointing at him.

Everyone gasped again.

"Well………." Malfoy stuttered, thinking rapidly for an excuse, any excuse, that would help him out of this sticky situation. Unfortunately, there were no excuses of the sort.

"Blaise Zabini still sleeps with his teddy bear!" Malfoy blurted out.

Blaise's eyes narrowed. "Bad idea, mate, bad idea," he snarled, opening his mouth to spill any secrets he knew about Malfoy. Then Blaise realized that he didn't know any secrets about Malfoy. "Er……….Theodore Nott once dressed up in a girl's clothing to impress Ginny Weasley!"

Theo just looked at Blaise in the you-know-you're-dead way and then yelled, "Morag's an unregistered Animagus!" When Morag looked at him, shocked, Theo shrugged and said, "If I'm going down, everyone's going down with me."

Morag just shook his head and hissed, "Terry Boot tried to make out with the Grey Lady!"

Everyone gasped. This was by far the most weirdest secret ever.

Terry turned purple. "You – " he spat out. "At least I didn't make out with a _water_ _balloon_, like somebody over here did!" he said, jabbing his thumb backwards at Anthony.

Anthony's face immediately took on a fiery shade of red. "Traitor! You promised you wouldn't tell!" Anthony's eyes suddenly lit up. "Lisa was in a porno movie!"

"No!" Lisa screamed. "You swore you wouldn't tell!"

"Well, I had to say something to take the focus off me," Anthony protested.

"Orla Quirke stole her Quick-Quotes Quill from Rita Skeeter and – " here, Lisa paused for effect. " – she magicked it to tap into Rita's writing skill!"

"Ooh!" The crowd gasped.

Orla narrowed her eyes. "Well, at least I committed a pardonable crime, Ernie Macmillan's on the wanted list in Bulgaria for stealing Viktor Krum's underwear!"

Ernie gasped loudly. "How did you know that?"

Orla smirked smugly. "Guess who's Viktor's cousin's sister's twice removed uncle's brother's son's niece's cousin's aunt's grand-niece, once removed?"

Ernie gasped again. "You!"

"No shit, Sherlock," Harry whispered to Ron.

Ernie slapped Justin on the arm. "Well, at least I didn't try to rush the stage and get Celestina Warbleck to kiss me at her concert this summer!" Ernie yelled.

Justin blanched. "Well, at least I didn't pretend to be Celestina Warbleck just to experience fifteen minutes of fame!"

Susan Bones shrank into the corner. "Well, I didn't convince the first years that if you dance naked around someone sleeping in the Common Room, a downpour of Galleons will befall you," she mumbled.

Hannah Abbott gasped. "Well, at least I don't get my ya-yas from playing strip poker, like _some people_ do!" she yelled, pointing to Seamus.

"Hey!" Seamus yelped. "Er……….Dean slept with Parvati so that she could put in a good word for him with Trelawney and help him pass Divination!"

Dean visibly colored. "Well, Harry – "

But none of them ever got to hear what Harry's dirty little secret was, because, at that moment, Professor Jocular poked his head and said,

"What are you all doing here? Didn't you hear the bell? You're all late for Transfiguration!"

As everyone shuffled out the door, talking and giggling about what had just transpired, Hermione looked back at Malfoy.

"By the way, Malfoy, I like you, too," she smiled.

"Wha – what – why –wha – " Malfoy managed to sputter out uselessly before he gave in and sighing, admitted, "Fine. I like you, Granger."

"Hey……..Malfoy?" Hermione asked as she grabbed her and started to walk to the door. "Remember the carrot you made me taste?"

Malfoy faintly remembered something about Luna Lovegood and true loves and carrots. "Yes," he answered slowly.

"What did you taste?" Hermione asked.

"Apple," Malfoy said, now confused. Why was she asking this, he thought. Didn't she taste……………er…………something other than apple?

"That's what I tasted," Hermione said. "I tasted apple."

Again, Malfoy was rendered speechless. "Wha – why – what – wha – "

"I………….tasted……………..apple," Hermione repeated, this time slower.

Malfoy comprehended this and gasped. "You – my – true – love – apple – why – Cinderella – Muggle-Born – you – apple – me – love – surreal – no – love – wrong – Cinderella girl – mistaken – apple – you – true – love – me – apple – girl – love - oh, my god."

And with that, Draco Malfoy promptly passed out on the floor.

Hermione cringed. "Well, that wasn't…………….._too _bad. I wonder how he's going to react to the whole Cinderella girl thing."

OoOoOoO

A/N – Yay! The Dramione is finally starting to get serious!

The answers to my reviews…………..

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Whew, I was really worried that Chapter Sixteen sounded like the work of an author that's REALLY high! And I hope your leg gets better!

dragoneyes5000 – In this cruel, harsh world where appearance is everything, funny is the only thing I have!

pinkicing101 – Sorry about the Felix Felicis slipup, I was in a hurry to get this chapter out, so I forgot to consult Mugglenet's HP encyclopedia. And relax, Theo isn't going anywhere, he's practically the male counterpart of me! Now, why would I want to kill a male version of me?

Bri Leonard – Bri Leonard is making her first appearance to the story next chapter! And the only thing I can tell you is that her part will lead Harry and Co. to the Ravenclaw Horcrux.

serpentine17ice – Well, not everyone was angry – the ones that were just had a little hard time believing it. I mean, Hermione and Malfoy have been at each other's throats for about six years. Obviously, they didn't exactly think that Hermione and Malfoy would get together so quickly, so unexpectedly. Also, Hermione mentioned in her little speech that she and Malfoy had been going out secretly for two weeks, which was about when the LTEA started their plan. So, many of them thought that all the trouble they went to was for nothing, since Hermione and Malfoy were already together at that time. And yes, some people like Theodore Nott have an unusual tendency to want attention for their actions (e.g. getting Draco and Hremione together.)

Additional thanks to Setsuna-chan09, me, Sam's Firefly, xo evolremmus xo, x ForgetMeNot, luvHaru7, chaotic.flying.kitten, Zagreb-girl, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, GoDeSs-Of-LiOnEsSeS, and Andrea Anne Narvati!

Don't forget to review!

-Lily in a Pond


	18. Of Beavers and Ferrets

Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Eighteen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I'm always considering going blonde and adopting a British accent, but that does not mean I'm Jo!

OoOoOoO

Blaise Zabini was jerked awake by a pair of hands roughly shaking him the next morning.

"AAAAAAARGH!"

Theodore Nott, looking quite pale and peaky with dark circles under his eyes and tousled hair was looking intensely into Blaise's eyes, not saying anything.

"What the hell are you doing?" Blaise screamed, backing away from Theo as far as possible and clutching his sheets to his chest.

Morag threw an alarm clock in his direction. "Shut it, Blaise, it's four in the morning."

"I needed to talk with you," Theo said quietly.

Blaise opened his mouth and closed it, opened it, and closed it. "And there was no other time for this to happen?"

Theo rolled his eyes. "I was thinking, isn't it suspicious that Draco and Granger just announced that they were going out, as if on the spur of moment, and yet they don't exactly act like a couple who are deeply in love with each other?"

Blaise sighed. "You're telling me this, _now_?"

"Well, there isn't exactly a perfect time for everything."

"Ugh, can't you just tell me this at breakfast?"

"NO, I have to tell you this now, or I'll forget to tell you this at all."

Blaise sat up. "Since when do you, Theodore Edmund Nott, forget stuff?"

Theo smirked. "I don't. That was just a ruse to get you up and all perky."

"Why, you little – "

Theo put a pillow in Blaise's open mouth.

"Mmph!" Blaise spit some feathers out. "Blech! Swan feathers are disgusting!"

"You've had more than one species of aerial organism in your mouth before?" Theo asked disbelievingly.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "The eagle was on a dare, the swallow was on New Year's and the owl was from Malfoy last year at Christmas."

Theo simply stared.

Blaise sighed. "The word you're looking for is anyways. Anyways…………" he helpfully supplied.

Theo shook his head. "I was just thinking of how………..un-couply……….Draco and Granger seem to be. They don't do any of the stuff normal couples do."

Blaise's eyes lit up. "Oh! You know what would be really cool? If Draco and Hermione made up this whole going out thing just to _freak us out_ and then they would be trapped in a relationship and turn out actually going out for real and then they would have two kids and Hermione would write schoolbooks and Draco would start designing clothes with his mum and they would die of old age, happily together, with their hands intertwined and they would be sent to heaven and look down on the living people and know that some of those living people participated to get them together, but they actually _did_ get together for real and then Draco would leave us some of his fortune as a thank-you and then we'd all be rich and then I could marry Mandy and then we'd have this _huge_ wedding with Draco's money and then we'd shag all day and then we'll have kids and then we'd invent something that would make Muggle stuff function in the Wizarding World and then I'd be so rich and it'll be all because of Draco and then Mandy and I will live happily after ever!" Blaise was lost in his happy picture of his future when Theo tapped him on the shoulder. "Wait, what was I talking about in the beginning?"

Theo groaned and flopped on his bed. "You are impossible," he moaned. "I try telling you something important, and instead, you mock me!"

Blaise shrugged. "Fine by me. I'm going back to sleep."

As Blaise dived under his covers and promptly started snoring, Theo started contemplating aloud who he should talk with about this little problem. "Should I talk to Draco? He's intelligent, but this is actually _about_ him. Hmm………….Crabbe and Goyle? Wait, what am I thinking?" Theo chuckled. "Those two won't comprehend a word I'm saying unless I mention food. Maybe Morag……….…nah, he's too boring."

"I heard that!" Morag yelled from two beds away.

"Oh, sorry that my super-correct monologue has affected your not-so-subconscious slumber," Theo replied sarcastically.

"_SILENCIO!"_ came five different voices from all directions in the dormitory. Theo scowled darkly and pulled the covers over his head.

"Hey," Draco's voice came through Theo's hazy fog of sleep. "I didn't know Crabbe and Goyle could cast Silencing Charms."

"We can," Crabbe replied.

"We practiced all summer," Goyle added.

A few moments later, snores came from the dormitory. The malformed ferret, Dumb and Dumber, the freakish bird-human, the future Mr. Brocklehurst, and the very essence of Hitler were all asleep.

OoOoOoO

The future Mrs. Zabini, or Mandy Brocklehurst, as friends know her, slid off her broomstick, a Comet Two Sixty in a rather good condition, and levitated it to a tree. As she turned around and faced the place where tragedy, love, and hope had all happened, she gasped loudly.

What she saw almost made her eyes water. And Mandy had _never_ cried ever since she was eleven and set foot in Hogwarts.

A construction site was building a new house over the ruins of what once was Brocklehurst Manor. A large truck was sweeping away all the rubble, rubble that once used to be the very walls of Mandy's first home.

"Mandy Brocklehurst?" a voice asked.

Mandy stared at the blonde, blue-eyed girl that was waving eagerly at her. "Who are you?"

"I'm Bri Leonard!" the girl said, running over and enthusiastically shaking her hand. "Remember? From school!"

Mandy shook her head. "Er……………..sorry, no."

"Oh, come on! I'm a sixth year in Slytherin! I used to always hang around Pansy when I was younger, remember? I stole all of Umbridge's cat plates?" Clearly, Bri was getting quite frustrated, her hair was coming out of her bun, though it really didn't make much of a difference since her bun was messy originally. "Remember when I got my hair dyed bright yellow last year? People called me Banana Brianna?"

It clicked. Mandy remembered a girl with the most atrocious dyed blonde hair. Banana Brianna, she thought amusedly. Lisa Turpin and I came up with that.

"So…………………..is this going to be your new house?" Mandy asked nonchalantly, airily waving her hand around in the air and flipping her hair.

Bri nodded. "Yeah! It's a wonderful piece of land, it's got vineyards – " Mandy let out a choked gasp. " – and a greenhouse, a pond with swans in it – " Mandy's face started turning a deep shade of pink. " – an huge forest, a tennis court, a big pool, and strangely enough, this really weird chest that no one could open." By now, Mandy's face was completely purple and she started coughing violently. "I say, are you all right?"

"Does it _look like_ I'm all right?" Mandy yelled. "That chest has my father in it!"

"I'll get my talking horse!" Bri shouted. "It can help you!"

Then the two girls looked at each other.

"You have a _talking horse_?" Mandy asked in disbelief.

"Your _father_ is buried in the secret chest?" Bri asked.

"I won't tell if you won't tell," Mandy offered, sticking her hand out.

"Deal," agreed Bri, shaking it.

Then they both went on their separate ways, never looking back, and pretending that this encounter had never happened.

OoOoOoO

"Morag…………I sense a troubled area around you," Luna Lovegood said dreamily as she passed him and Theo on their way to Charms. "You're wondering about something……….something important…………."

Morag turned around. "I'm not troubled," he said defensively.

Luna smiled serenely. "Learning to accept yourself and the things around you is part of what life is."

"So that's the meaning of life?"

"The meaning of life is revealed to you only when you've finally embraced your deepest desires."

"What a load of rubbish!" Theo commented acidly.

Luna suddenly slapped Theo. Hard. (You could actually hear a whip in the air before it made a crack on Theo's cheek.) "There was a bug on your cheek," she replied sweetly.

Theo turned and stalked off angrily as Morag started laughing loudly.

"So no one in Slytherin's gonna listen to me about Draco and Granger's weird behavior, huh? I'll find other faithful minions," he snarled, rubbing his cheek. Damn it, he thought irritably. Loony Lovegood lives in another universe, but she sure can slap you hard into reality.

"Oy! Patil!" he yelled, seeing a flash of long, plaited hair disappear around a corner, ignoring the startled glances of people who, surprised at this display of Inter-House Unity, gaped openly. "I need to talk with you!"

OoOoOoO

There was an uncomfortable silence as Mandy and Bri sat near a brook, staring determinedly ahead and not moving.

"So……………." Bri began. "You father's in that chest, huh?"

Mandy scowled and turned her head slightly to the side._ "Yes,"_ she managed between gritted teeth. "Now, if you don't mind, I would like to stop talking about this subject because it is very painful for me, and by "I would like", I mean "I am forcing you" and by "painful", I mean "the most excruciating pain you can ever imagine including being put under the Cruciatus seven times in a row."

Bri gulped and laughed nervously. "Any more hidden meanings I should know?"

Mandy looked thoughtful. "Well, actually, there is one more. If I ever say, "Run and don't ever look back," I mean "We're under attack and I'd prefer if you got hit while you weren't looking instead of me getting hit."

Bri nodded. "Gotcha."

There was more silence for a few minutes until –

"D'you want to see your father's chest?"

"Absolutely," Mandy replied, jumping to her feet and sprinting off towards the construction site.

"Wait!" Bri called. "You don't know where the chest is!"

"My heart will guide me to my father!" Mandy yelled. "Our hearts are interlinked! He will always be with me!"

A few minutes later, Mandy scowled and said,

"Well? Where is he?"

"In the broom cupboard," Bri sighed, dragging Mandy off. "C'mon, compass, let's go."

OoOoOoO

Hermione was in the library, studying for the Transfigurations test no one in Gryffindor seemed to care about, when someone tapped her on the shoulder. Hermione jumped about three feet in response.

Draco Malfoy was looking at her in a peculiar way.

"May I help you?" Hermione asked, congratulating herself for using correct grammar, once again.

"Yeah," Draco replied nervously. "Uh…………..well, you know, about the whole helping thing……………erm……………..well, I would expect that you, Granger, know something about attraction……………….and the likes of it…………."

Hermione nodded slowly. "Go on………………."

Draco scratched his head. "Well………………….okay, here, imagine there are two animals……….say one is a beaver……………and the other is a………………._ferret."_

"Continue," Hermione said, smiling as she realized where this was going.

"Well…………..say the ferret likes the beaver……………….._a lot_………………..you know, he'll probably………you know…………………..tell her his feelings…………….?"

Hermione grinned. "Ah," she said, "Ah."

"Ah……………..?"

"Well, for starters, I would just like to say that there is no way in heaven or hell that the ferret would like a buck-toothed beaver unless the buck-toothed beaver was actually a cuddly otter. Second, I think that the ferret should just confess that he likes the buck-toothed beaver turned cuddly otter and then the buck-toothed beaver turned cuddly otter will say that she reciprocates the ferret's feelings and that she thinks the ferret is very cute and cuddly and huggable." Hermione turned back to her work. "The buck-toothed beaver turned cuddly otter would also probably ask the most devilishly cute ferret if he would want to share a Chocolate Frog together," Hermione said, as she took a Frog out of her bag. "Want to?"

Draco's eyes lit up. "Sure! Oh, I'm so glad – I mean, I could just simply dance and sing at the top of my lungs – not that I'm going to, of course, but there's still the possibility – oh, and you think I'm cute and cuddly and huggable and devilish!"

As Hermione grinned at him, Draco turned a deep shade of red and cleared his throat. "Er – I mean, I would like very much to share a Frog with you."

As the two proceeded to rip apart the Frog's body with a ferocity no one ever expected, Theodore Nott and Parvati Patil's heads popped around the corner.

"See?" Parvati said. "I told you they wre a real couple, look, they're sharing a Frog!"

Theo made a face. "No way is that a real couple – real couples should be sharing Licorice Wands – more flexible for kissing!"

"I _completely_ agree!" Parvati squealed. "I mean, that's just so………….Disney!"

"Pardon?" Theo asked.

"Oh, never mind," Parvati said. "But the point is, they're sharing a Frog together and they look so cute!"

"Keep your voice down!" Theo hissed, but it was too late. Hermione and Draco had looked up from their lovey-dovey business and they were heading their way.

"Theo? Parvati? What are you doing here?"

"We're………you know……….studying!" Parvati said.

Theo smacked his forehead. Even Crabbe and Goyle could tell that was a lie! he screamed internally.

"More like studying _us,"_ Draco smirked.

"You know, actually……the truth is………………" Theo said, putting on his pity-me-I'm-so-lonely face. "……….….she was trying to convince me to sleep with her!"

Parvati gaped behind Draco and Hermione.

"What?" Hermione gasped. "You're thinking of that…………already?"

Draco was smirking widely. "Go for it, Theo!"

"Well, now that I think about it, with your way, Draco, I can get some lovin' tonight," Theo said, mock-thinking. "Sorry, Granger. Apparently, abstinence is not the way to go in this situation." Theo grabbed Parvati's arm. "Let's go have the best shag of our lives!"

"Wow," Hermione said. "That is just so sweet."

"I know," Draco added. "Just the thought of a Gryffindor and a Slytherin getting together and professing their love to each other, is so……………touching!"

"Polar opposites," Hermione said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, "It's the stuff fairy-tale romances are made of."

"Hey, why does all this sound so familiar?" Draco remarked.

"I don't know," Hermione said, shrugging. "Hey, d'you want to go to the kitchens and get some cake?"

Draco clasped his hands together. "I love cake!"

OoOoOoO

Mandy opened the chest and nearly started crying again. Inside was her father, dressed in his best clothes, with a glittering hourglass hanging around his neck. Mandy peered closely at it.

"So pretty," she remarked. Then she leaned forward. There was something inscribed on it in glowing bronze letters. "RR? Who's RR?"

OoOoOoO

A/N – Ooh, who's RR? (Though this may be rather obvious...) The countdown to the Horcruxes is coming next chapter! Stay tuned……………….dun dun dun!

The answers to those burning, aching reviews…………….

Setsuna-chan09 – Oh, he knows, all right! Well, subconsciously……………….but I promise I'll make him remember! Just wait and see………it'll all turn out in due time…………

dragoneyes5000 – Let's just say that he might have been the person who trashed the Slytherin Common Room completely and hung all the Slytherins' underwear on Gryffindor Tower and put whipped cream and honey on all the Slytherin girls' faces. _Might! _

TriXter21 – Wow, I'm so glad you think my story's funny! And yes, I agree, now there are more stories coming out that are very serious about the whole Book 7, Horcruxes, killing Voldemort or be killed thing.

Bri Leonard – Did you like how I made Bri Leonard? I couldn't put Bri as a seventh year because Harry would have some memory of her, so instead, I put her in sixth year Slytherin. Hope that's okay.

Andrea Anne Narvati – I admit, I'm getting a bit too obsessed with Draco Malfoy too………..and that's quite stupid, because he's a fictional character!

Additional thanks to Sam's Firefly, GoDeSs-Of-LiOnEsEeS, KayTay, me, AnimeAlexis, White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, Zagreb-girl, potc-and-hpfan, pinkicing101, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, xo evolremmus xo, and dracomionefan6132!


	19. Harry Steals Someone Else's Plan

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Nineteen

By Lily in Pond

Disclaimer: California is my domain, but Harry Potter and Hogwarts is unfortunately, all Jo's.

OoOoOoO

Pansy Parkinson scowled fiercely as she walked – no, rampaged – up the Slytherin boys' staircase.

A pack of smirking Slytherin second years coming down stopped smirking immediately when they saw Pansy and quickly moved aside for her, knowing that the rumor saying Pansy had a crazy temper accompanied with little patience was indeed, true.

Pansy started pounding on the door that read 'Seventh Year Boys'.

"BLAISE ZABINI! GET YOUR SLIMY SLYTHERN ASS OUT HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A REAL MAN!"

"Hey Pansy," Morag greeted Pansy, sticking his head out of the door. Evidently, he had been studying; he still had his reading glasses on. (Morag's vision and hearing were so freakishly sharp, everything he saw at close view was super-blurry.) "Blaise would like to tell you to 'Go bugger off and go bugger yourself'."

Another voice yelled something out.

"Also, Theo adds that you are a 'skanky be-yotch who really needs to mind her own business and to remember to give him his moisturizer back'." Morag pushed up his glasses with his index finger and raised his eyebrows. "Wait, Theo uses moisturizer? Ep – !" A hand appeared covering Morag's mouth and dragged him back inside. Then the door shut rather rudely in Pansy's face, barely missing her nose.

"Also, Draco and I would like to say that we had absolutely no part in Theo and Blaise's prank on you and that we are only in the dormitory because we are trapped in. Though Theo didn't really do anything with the actual prank; he just planned it," Morag's muffed voice came from the other side of the door.

"You know, if I went and got Mandy, we could break this door down the Muggle way!" Pansy shouted. "So you better watch out! I might be barging in here any moment now!"

"Well, you're still here without Brocklehurst, and we're not getting any younger," Draco quipped. Snickering could be heard.

"Speaking of youngness, you're not going to look so young anymore, Pansy!" Theo shouted. "I'm not letting you use my night cream anymore!"

Pansy could practically _hear_ the stares of the other boys.

"Alright Theo, you're a girl, so get out," Blaise said. The door was opened a crack and Theo was pushed out, landing unceremoniously in a heap of rumpled robes near Pansy's feet.

Theo quickly jumped to his feet and smoothed down his robes. "Okay, I'm ready to break the door down now."

"Puh-lease," Pansy scoffed. "You're the weakest link of all the Slytherins, physically. Including the girls. Even the firsties."

Theo opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it. "Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a girl, I use moisturizer, and night cream, and I'm weak. Plus I…………I got…………….a _nose_ _job_!"

Pansy, who was on the verge of going downstairs to search for Mandy, immediately whirled around. "WHAT?"

"Nothing!" Theo yelled, face turning bright red. "I use girly products and I'm weak and then – I – just – stopped- talking!"

Pansy was rolling around the floor in hysterics now. "You – !" she rasped out. " – You – got – a – nose – job!"

Theo slammed his fist into the wall. "Ow!"

Pansy only laughed harder.

"If you must know………..Patil tricked me into it………." Theo mumbled. "She told me she was just going to make a few changes………………and shrink stuff…………."

Pansy rolled over on all fours and started pounding her fists into the carpet. "Patil – tricked – you!"

"Goodbye Pansy," Theo said icily. "I won't be seeing you around, then."

Pansy gave a little wave. "Bye, _Theodora_," she choked out.

Theo gave a little girly huff and flounced away, to Pansy's amusement.

OoOoOoO

Hermione was jauntily strolling around the Charms corridor occasionally saying things like, "Hey, you! No magic in corridors! And I can totally tell you off for this because I'm _Head Girl_!" or "You there! Why do you look so suspicious? And I can _so_ tell by the look on your face and because I'm an _excellent_ Head Girl!"

Needless to say, Professor McGonagall had just personally complimented Hermione on what she was doing as Head Girl and the wonderful example she was setting for the other students. (And that was really saying something as Professor McGonagall always seemed to in her office these days.) But when Hermione asked about Harry? Hmm, about Mr. Potter, you say? I'm starting to regret making him Head Boy.

"Hermione! Haven't seen you in a while!"

Hermione turned around and saw the owner of the voice: a redheaded female Weasley who also went by the name Ginny.

"Ginny! Hi! What do you mean by 'haven't seen you in a while'?"

Ginny laughed. "I mean that we haven't really _talked_, you know? Like, _really_ talked."

"Ah. I remember those good discussions we used to have last year."

"Yeah, well, I've been pretty busy lately what with trying to get you and Malfoy together and then finding out you guys were actually going out – oh, no!" Ginny's face turned bright scarlet and she covered her eyes with her hands. "Oh no no no no no no no no no _no_!"

"Ginny," Hermione's voice was lowered to an almost hissing pitch, "What did you just say?"

"No! I said nothing!" Ginny squealed. "I said I've been busy, and that was it! Excuse me, Hermione, I gotta go!" As Ginny turned around and trued to run for it, Hermione grabbed onto Ginny's robes.

"Not so fast, young lady," Hermione snarled. "Now you tell everything."

Ginny sighed. "I'm really sorry for this, Hermione, I'm sorry." Then, in one swift motion, she pinched the inner part of Hermione's thigh. Hard.

Hermione squealed. And immediately let go of Ginny. "Ginevra Molly Weasley! You get back here this second! I'm – I'm Head Girl!" she screamed, in a desperate attempt. "I can get one hundred points taken off Gryffindor!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Ginny screamed, running to the banister and preparing to jump off, or slide off, or whatever it was that she did that usually captured attention. "I'm sorry Hermione, but this is the only way I'll get outta here without Theo skinning me alive for telling you about our conspiracy! Oh_ crap_, I just did it again!"

Hermione gasped loudly. "I knew Theodore Nott would be at the bottom of a conspiracy! He always had a sort of sinister and frightening edge to him! And the way he's always alone and dark and gloomy and practically swimming in his own solitude! And – oh, you're gone already," Hermione mumbled, realizing that not only was Ginny long gone and out of sight, Hermione had been apparently ranting to an empty wall for a minute.

"Oh, sweet holy mother of Merlin," Hermione moaned, sinking down the wall. (One of the portraits cried, "Ho! Watch the fabric, dear!") "What in the world did Theodore Nott plan? Did it even work? And oh, my god, it was bad enough that people were getting us together, but now, those people are_ identified!_ And they were my _friends!_ I feel…………………so used…………..…so much like a test animal……..like one of those furry little mice who had absolutely done nothing and were killed so people could examine them for their own pretentious reasons!"

Then she seemed to realize what she just said, coming to her senses when Draco Malfoy looked at her quizzically from above.

"Hermione? What are you doing on the floor? And why are you referring to yourself as a mouse? I mean, I can understand the whole hair/fur thing and the brown eye and hair resemblance, but why? Why would you be an animal who eats tons and tons of cheese?"

Hermione smiled. Draco Malfoy was insulting her again, she thought happily. The world was not going to implode with the evilness of Theodore Nott's decidedly sinister plot.

OoOoOoO

"First, we need to stop by Sirius's house to pick up the locket and destroy it. Then, we need to have a rather interesting conversation with all the snakes in the country, see where Nagini's hiding out. Then, if we have time, we can stop by Diagon Alley and pick up some stuff from Fred and George's place. And then we'll Apparate back to Hogwarts and we'll be back in time for dinner and no one will be the wiser," Harry concluded, passing around a neatly labeled itinerary to Ron. "By the way, have you seen Hermione? According to my schedule, unless she's here in ten minutes, we'll have to start the mission by ourselves."

Ron frowned down at the paper. "But what about the Ravenclaw Horcrux? Where in the world are we going to find that?"

Harry grimaced. "I was kind of hoping you wouldn't touch up on that," he muttered. "Unfortunately, I have absolutely no clue where it is. All I know is that it's supposedly an hourglass. I don't know what size the bloody hourglass is!"

Ron shook his head. "There's no way we'll be able to destroy that today, we don't know anything about it."

"I know. And the battle is only three days away."

Ron sighed deeply. "Where did all the happy times go? I mean, this was definitely not how I imagined my years at Hogwarts would be. Where did……………..our innocence go?"

"Well, you lost yours to Lavender," Harry cracked, making them both chuckle. "But seriously though? I think somewhere between fighting Voldemort and his Death Eaters, we…………………..we realized that everything………………………..we realized that everything wasn't going to be picture perfect as we planned," he finished softly. "I mean, before you win the battle, you have to fight the battle. I think that was what we realized, that before taking down Voldemort, we were going to have to put aside our dreams and hopes of our future together and just…………………….sacrifice things……………..sacrifice the things we love………………"

Ron was silent after this.

"You know, Professor de Vellofides was right," Harry said. "We did have to grow up quickly. We were thrust into a cruel world so early. We were just kids………….just kids who were forced to grow up………………….to grow up to fight."

Ron forced a cheery smile onto his face. "Where _is_ Hermione? I mean, she wasn't in the library or any of the classrooms or the Slytherin Common Room, snogging Malfoy."

"Ron," Harry said, narrowing his eyes. "How do you know the Slytherin Common Room's password?"

Ron looked sheepish. "I bribed Crabbe and Goyle with some stuff Fred and George sent me. Don't worry, they were testers!" he added quickly. "Oh wait, that's a bad thing."

Harry laughed. "You really know how to infiltrate rooms. With candy!"

Hermione burst into the Common Room, looking quite red in the face.

"Oh, you guys, thank god you're here, you would not believe what Ginny just told me!"

Harry and Ron stood up. "Sorry 'Mione, but that'll have to be put on hold for a while. We're going Horcrux Hunting now."

Hermione shook her head. "There's no time to be playing childish games at a time like this – oh." She laughed sheepishly. "You were talking about the real thing, weren't you?"

Harry and Ron nodded.

"Come on, according to my schedule, we should be going out Hogwarts boundaries to Apparate to Sirius's house now, so we're only a few minutes behind schedule," said Harry, consulting his paper. "But that's okay, maybe we'll find out where Nagini is hiding by accident."

Hermione peered at the paper closely as they headed out the door. "Hey Harry, is that by any chance a modified version of that homework planner I gave you and Ron in fifth year?"

"Yup," Harry replied proudly. "It's my detailed itinerary of today, starting with Apparation to Sirius's house and ending with Apparation back to Hogwarts and eating dinner."

"Okay, let's check off our supplies," Ron said, holding up another list.

Hermione looked surprised. "Since when did you guys start being organized?"

Ron and Harry blushed. "Ever since we met Orla Quirke and discovered that she was really organized and had a knack for making charmed to-do lists and schedules."

Hermione gaped. "But you just said that the itinerary was yours, Harry!"

"It is mine. I just didn't make it."

"Anyways," Ron cut in. "Three wands?"

"Check."

"Check."

"I know I have my own, so I won't bother saying 'check'. Okay, next. Invisibility Cloak?"

"Check."

"Various potions, including Love, Luck, Sleep, Calmness, Blinding, and Truth?"

"Check."

"Wait, wait, wait, time-out." Hermione made a 'T' with her hands. "You're not fooling me with the 'luck potion' again, Ron."

Ron shook his head. "No, this is really Felix Felicis. I nicked it from Slughorn's supply when I had detention with him."

Hermione exhaled loudly, but said nothing.

"Okay, let's see. Shield Cloaks, Shield Gloves, and various defensive products from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?"

"Check, check, and check."

"Wait a minute," Hermione cut in. "If you guys assembled all the supplies, what did I do?"

Harry patted her on the shoulder. "I figured that since you've practically planned everything for us over the years, we're giving you a little break on this one. So you get to sit back and be our backup. You know, somebody that survives and runs for help while we………………bleed to death."

Hermione turned a delicate shade of green. "That's an…………………interesting job."

"Trust me, it is," Ron said helpfully. "You know, this summer when Charlie came to visit, he and Bill enchanted some Muggle darts and one hit Pig, you know, my _late _owl? And then Ginny and I just sat there and watched Pig…………………………_die_," Ron gulped. "You know, it's actually not that pleasant." Ron threw his hands to the sky and wailed, "Why, God? _Why?_ Why did you have to take Pig away from me?_ Why?"_

Hermione handed him a tissue. "Cheer up, Ron. Somewhere, Pig is watching you and eating some really expensive owl treats. I mean, he's probably really happy there in…………………_owl heaven." _

"Let's move, men!" Harry barked, jabbing Ron and Hermione in the shoulder painfully. "There's no time to act like sissies here! We're already fifteen minutes behind schedule! Let's move!"

Ron gaped. "The soul of Oliver Wood has split yet _again_."

Hermione smiled encouragingly at him. "Well, come on Ron. Let's not make Harry go into another one of his infamous temper tantrums."

Ron laughed. "Fifth year was practically a temper tantrum in itself."

"LET'S MOVE, SISSIES! DO I HAVE TO MARCH MYSELF OVER AND DRAG YOU BY THE ARMS AND THROW YOU INTO THE TIME CONTINUUM!"

Ron groaned. "There's Wood again."

OoOoOoO

Mandy fingered the little silver hourglass in her hand and turned it over and over.

Mandy could already think of three reasons why this hourglass was definitely not a normal one.

1. When turned over, it didn't transport you to the past.

2. It had the initials "R.R." on it.

3. It was covered all over with sapphires.

"Hey," Bri Leonard said, her head sticking out from the door. "Did you want some pumpkin juice?"

Mandy wordlessly shook her head.

"Hey, what's that? Oh, is that a Time-Turner?"

Mandy shook her head. "It certainly looks like one, but it isn't. It's probably an enchanted hourglass or something."

Enchanted hourglass, the words rang through Mandy's head. Where have I heard that before, she mused. Where have I heard that before?

"Are you okay?" Bri asked her. "You look really pale and peaky, like you're a werewolf near the full moon." Bri laughed and checked her watch. "Oh no, it's almost one o'clock, people will be wondering where we are! Ready to go?"

Mandy stood up. "By the way, how did you get here? You're certainly not old enough to legally Apparate, unless you're extremely stupid and was held back a year, which I immensely doubt."

Bri blushed. "I didn't really get permission to go here, I just……………….you know…………….snuck out of the Hogwarts grounds and hopped on the Knight Bus."

Mandy groaned. "I hate the Knight Bus! Last time I went on, that weird conductor-person tried to hit on me, and he kept sputtering on and on about how he was going to be the next Minister of Magic. What a load of rubbish!" Mandy Summoned her cloak over the shed. "Anyways, I gotta go. I'll see you around."

"Or not," she added in an undertone, as she closed the shed with a loud _snap!_ and turned on the spot, Disapparating in a quiet swirl of robes and cloak.

OoOoOoO

"Alright, getting the locket was relatively easy," Harry mused, crossing "Slytherin's locket", off his list. "Kreacher was pretty easy to work with, once I bribed him with some of Bellatrix's hairs to stop him from yelling insane profanities in our ears. Next, we have Nagini."

Ron groaned and rubbed his forehead. "This time, there won't be any fires, will it?" he grumbled, massaging the place where his eyebrows _used _to be.

"Oh, Ronald," Hermione sighed. "Don't be such a baby. You cast the fire, now you will pay the consequences of destroying something of Slytherin's, and so brutally."

"Yeah, you didn't have to yell, "Die, Slytherins, die!" and then spectacularly chuck the locket into the fire with possibly the best throw and aim and power we've seen in years," Harry added. "Also, lovely way to honor the dead. Making the ashes of the locket disintegrate into the air, and make then into fireworks is not a nice way to clean up someone's remains. Particularly someone's soul's remains."

"Kreacher will go back to Hogwarts now. Hogwarts is place where there are purebloods like Draco Malfoy," Kreacher growled from the grate.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Kreacher," Harry said dismissively, waving his hand and consulting his schedule again. "Now, we need to go to Albania."

As Kreacher disappeared with a loud pop, Ron looked quizzically at Harry and asked, "Why Albania? Of all the places in the world, why Albania? I've heard it's a horrible place, with lizards and poisonous toads and slithering snakes all around – oh." He blushed and ran his hands through his hair. "Ha ha, I've just answered my own question."

"Albania is also the place where Voldemort was once living," Hermione added. "The snakes might be able to tell us where he's hiding now."

Harry nodded and grabbed his cloak, which was now looking quite shabby with ashes and dirt on it. "Come on. Oh, and our destination is 'the Ragrotten Forest in Little Hallowtree, Albania."

"Sounds like a lovely place to live," Ron commented. Harry started sniggering obnoxiously.

OoOoOoO

"Hey, Pans, if your initials were 'RR', what would be your name?" Mandy asked, lounging in front of the Ravenclaw Common Room's fireplace.

Pansy scrunched up her nose. "I don't know, Rockin' Robin?"

"I won't even ask how you, a pureblood, know of that place," Mandy said, raising her eyebrows. "But seriously, who would you be?"

Pansy sighed. "Give me a minute to think."

"Rosie Roadwhore?"

Mandy spit her pumpkin juice all over Pansy. "Who the hell would call themselves _that_?"

"Oh, she's a stripper," Pansy said nonchalantly, calmly wiping off the pumpkin juice. "Theo and Draco dragged me to a strip club this summer. She was part of a team, I recall. I think her partners were Felicia Feel-Me-Up and Serena Cervix."

Mandy made a face. "That is disgusting."

"It was actually rather interesting," Pansy said. "Not that I'm interested in………………………….girls."

Then they each took a long of their pumpkin juice.

"So…………………….'RR', huh?"

Anthony Goldstein walked in.

"Anthony! Sweetie!" Pansy squealed, clearly relieved for the distraction. "If your initials were 'RR', what would be your name?"

Anthony tilted his head. "Well, the most obvious one would have to be Rowena Ravenclaw, since we're in the Ravenclaw Common Room."

Mandy gasped. A memory came flashing back at her.

"_Just like a murder for a Horcrux, Voldemort," Harry said, thinking quickly. Harry knew that Voldemort still had some of his Horcruxes, so he knew this was the only way to get Voldemort to reveal what his Horcruxes were and where they were. _

"_We seem to have an understanding, then. That silly Myrtle girl for my diary, my sniveling Muggle relatives for the ring, the greasy haired, sniveling Mr. Burkes of Borgin and Burkes for the locket, that foolish woman – Smith or something – for Hufflepuff's cup, some of the Brocklehurst clan for Ravenclaw's hourglass, and finally, that old Muggle man for Nagini," Voldemort hissed. "You haven't destroyed anything yet by yourself, have you, boy? You're pathetic and useless, without Dumbledore around. You're just an ordinary wizard with no exceptional powers. An ordinary boy who is about to die." Voldemort smirked and raised his wand. _

Some of the Brocklehurst clan for Ravenclaw's hourglass, the words repeated over and over again in Mandy's head. Over and over.

Then everything went black.

When Mandy opened her eyes, she saw three pairs of eyes staring at her.

"Are you okay?" Pansy asked in a hushed tone. "I've never seen someone black out like that before."

"You kept muttering stuff, "Stop him," or, "You will not run away this time," Blaise added, squeezing Mandy's hand.

"I brought you some stuff from the house-elves," Anthony said, pointing to a large assortment of food.

Some of the Brocklehurst clan for Ravenclaw's hourglass, Mandy remembered. An image of a house burning down flashed through her mind.

_A small blonde girl was crouched in a corner, sobbing quietly. _

_Strange people wearing cloaks and mask had entered her house and attacked her father and family. One of the strange people was making her mother scream. _

_As Mandy silently watched the Death Eaters burn her house down and kill her family, Voldemort came in. Voldemort himself. _

"_I'm not going to kill you," he said quietly to Mandy's father, who was lying on the ground, screaming with the effects of the Cruciatus Curse. "I'm just going to make you suffer. I'm going to make you suffer for what you and your family did to my Death Eaters. Most of your family's dead now, anyways. But not you." He let a high-pitched laugh. "Oh, no, not you, my dear Auror. You're going to suffer for so long, you're going to wish that you were dead. But I'll never spare you by releasing you into death," he hissed. _

_Voldemort took a shimmering object out of his robes and threw it around the struggling man's neck. _

_As a flash of silver light exploded within the room, the girl in the corner screamed, a scream filled with the pain of a child's suffering. _

_When, the light faded from the room, Voldemort beckoned his followers with a thin finger, and they Disapparated. _

_No one noticed that the blonde girl in the corner was now gone._

Mandy quickly jumped up and changed her clothes with a flick of her wand. "I'll explain later, but I have to go somewhere!"

As Mandy dashed out of the Hospital Wing, Blaise called, "Wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't have time! This is a matter of life or death!" Mandy's slightly distant voice bounced off the walls.

Blaise turned back to Pansy and Anthony. "Where in the world could she be going?" he wondered.

OoOoOoO

Harry, Ron, and Hermione rounded the corner of the countryside of London. They had agreed that there were too many people in London to Disapparate without anyone seeing, so they walked the short bit to the suburbs.

Hermione took in a deep breath. "Wow, the country air is so great!" she exclaimed.

A pop! from under a rosebush startled them.

Harry looked around suspiciously. "That sounded awfully like someone Apparating."

Ron bravely took a step forward, clutching his wand tightly. "Get ready for anything," he hissed.

As the rosebush rustled a bit and a dark figure emerged from it, Harry, Ron, and Hermione narrowed their eyes and yelled out, _"Stupefy!"_ in unison.

The figure ducked, her hood slipping off the process, revealing a flash of dark blonde hair.

"_Imitari," _the mysterious figure said. A replica of the figure instantly appeared in front of her, blocking the Stunning Spells.

The figure lifted her hood. It was Mandy Brocklehurst.

Hermione sighed in relief. "Mandy! I should have known it was you, the Mirror charm is practically your signature spell!"

"Mandy Brocklehurst?" Harry and Ron said in unison, disbelievingly.

Mandy stared at them in shock.

"What are you doing here?" the three yelled at the same time.

OoOoOoO

A/N - I think that was my longest chapter yet! Hope you all liked!

Next chapter: The Horcruxes are destroyed and the _final_ Final Battle begins.

The answers to my reviews...

mike tike tofu - I loved writing the battle scene - humor gives me inspiration...by the way, you have an interesting username...

xospottedtailox - He does it in fanfiction! I like the All-American Rejects too, especially 'Move Along.'

classic.knight - Hey, I hope you got your message. Give me a reply as soon as possible, I'm already thinking of a part for your character to have in the next chapter!

Love Hope Joy - When are you updating your story?

Sam's Firefly - I like chocolate cake myself...with little shavings of chocolate on top of a creamy chocolate frosting. You can tell that I'm a major fan of chocolate. Oh, Draco and Hermione will make out in due time...

TriXter21 - I'm really glad to hear someone say that my story is like the silver lining in a huge, looming, dark storm cloud.

xo evolremmus xo - No, actually, at the beginning of the story, _nobody_ was with Lavender, but Ron and Seamus both had a crush on her. Theo, at the beginning, had no one...and he still has no one. The shagging in a closet thing was just an excuse Theo made up to get out of a sticky situation. But who knows...maybe someday Theo _will_ end up with Parvati...who knows?

School-Of-Rock101 - Wow, thank you! I like putting in some small details, because I think that detail _does _matter in fanfiction and it makes the fic more well-rounded.

luvHaru7 - Oh, my god, that was hilarious!

Bri Leonard - Thanks! I'm glad Bri Leonard was to your liking, sorry I couldn't fit in all the details you gave me, though. Also, Bri will be making her final appearance next chapter.

Additional thanks to me, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, melanie, GoDeSs-Of-LiOnEsSeS, Miss Autumn 61, serpentine17ice, devil'lil', IsThisMyFate (love your name!), White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, dragoneyes5000, and cemicool!

Also, triple chocolate cake to everyone who figured out that 'RR' was Rowena Ravenclaw - serpentine17ice, devil'lil', and Miss Autumn 61!

Also, I've started writing a new story, called "Pals". It's loosely based on the show "Friends", but "Pals" only follows the basic storyline of Friends and that ends everything they have in common. Check it out if you have time.

See ya!

-Lily in a Pond


	20. Horcrux Hunting

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty

By Lily in Pond

Disclaimer: If I wanted to get rich off fiction, I'll claim I wrote the Bible and start a world-wide debate and get even more money from the news interviews and so forth, but the only way I can't make money off Harry Potter is pretending I'm JK Rowling.

OoOoOoO

"What are you doing here?" the three yelled at the same time.

"What are _you _doing here?" Ron, Harry, and Mandy yelled in unison again. Hermione's eyes flickered back and forth between them in amusement.

"I'm asking you!" they yelled, once again in unison. Ron's face was slowly turning red.

"Are you just copying me?"

Hermione couldn't hide her laughter anymore. She burst out laughing. Mandy, Ron, and Harry stared in shock at her.

"What are you laughing at?" Ron asked, finally breaking the 'talking at the same time' pattern.

"You – guys – " Hermione choked out, clutching her sides. "So – stupid!"

Harry looked deeply affronted. "Hey, we're here to rid the world of evil, but Mandy's probably here to spread the evil!"

Mandy snorted. "I'm not telling you what I'm doing here, I'm not stupid."

"Well, that's good, because we're not telling you what you're doing here either," Ron said, raising his eyebrows with a challenging look.

Mandy threw up her hands. "Fine by me."

Then the four of walked off, not looking back and pretending that they were perfectly fine with the situation and that their curiosity was not getting the better of them.

As Harry, Ron, and Hermione Disapparated, Mandy rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Dunderheads."

OoOoOoO

Draco burst through the Slytherin Common Room's door. "Has anyone seen Hermione anywhere?" he panted.

Blaise, Pansy, Theo, and Morag looked up from their place at the fireplace. The card castle they were building exploded. As the dust cleared, Morag coughed, rubbed what was left of his eyebrows, and offered, "Well, I think I saw her in the library this morning. But then she left after a while, this prefect gave her a note, and she left immediately."

"Oh, and Professor McGonagall wanted to see her in her office," Pansy added. "I ran into Hermione when she was practically sprinting to McGonagall's office."

"I heard from Weasley – girl Weasley – that Hermione had found – out – something – " Theo choked out, mentally cursing himself for almost revealing the conspiracy. "And that was all…………………" he trailed off, looking at Blaise for help.

Blaise shrugged. "I dunno, but I heard Potter and Weasley asking people if they knew where she was."

Draco threw up his hands. "Great! This is just great! Absolutely peachy, most wonderfully delightful!" he snapped sarcastically.

"Why do you want to find Hermione so badly?" Pansy asked. "Homework can wait, love confessions can wait, and even dates can take a rain check or two."

"Actually, if you reschedule a date more than twice, she'll ninety-nine percent of the time dump you," Morag whispered. "Take it from experience."

"So anyways, why?" Pansy repeated.

Draco looked down. "Well, you know…………………….I've just gotten so used to seeing Hermione every day and talking to her, flirting a little bit, just basically having fun with her so that I feel really weird if I only see her once, like today."

"So, what you're saying is that unless you get to see Hermione every day and talk to her and practically shag her, you'll be miserable," Blaise concluded.

Draco contemplated this. "Basically, yeah."

Pansy gasped. "That is so sweet! You love her, Draco!"

Draco's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

"You just admitted that you want to be with her for the rest of your life!" Pansy crowed triumphantly. "In other words, you love her!"

"I thought that was marriage," Theo interjected.

"Sod off!" Pansy shot at him, "I'm having one of my moments."

"I don't love Hermione!" Draco said furiously, his normally pale face turning red.

"Alright, some quick questions for you," Morag said, standing up. "Answer them with a yes or no. Do you feel empty without Hermione?"

"Yes," Draco replied quickly.

"If she's sick, are you willing to sacrifice a day's worth of lessons just to tend to her?"

"Yes," Draco answered, albeit a little hesitantly, as education was very high in his books.

"Say Hermione falls off a broomstick. Will you risk your life just to save hers?"

"Yes."

"Would you feel comfortable if you woke up and found Hermione by your side every morning?"

"Definitely," Draco answered, smirking widely. You could practically see little bras and panties floating in front of his eyes.

"If Hermione makes this disgusting culinary confection, would you swallow down every bite she gives you and tell her it was fantastic afterwards?"

Draco gulped and straightened his tie. "Yes…..?"

"Let's say you're dying. For your dying wish, would you want Hermione to never forget you and never love someone else?"

"Hell, yeah!"

"Okay, last one. If _Hermione's_ dying, would you want to be with her so badly that you'll kill yourself just to be with her?"

"Yes," Draco answered firmly.

Theo clapped him on the back. "Congratulations, Draco. You just got married."

Draco's eyes were wide open. "I…………….love Hermione?"

"You bet your sorry Malfoy arse that's right!" Blaise said.

"But…………..you know………what about Daphne?" Draco asked feeling a little apprehensive.

Theo looked up. "What about Daphne?"

"Well, isn't she my Cinderella girl? I mean, she's been a little weird lately, but she's the Cinderella girl I love…….right?" Draco asked, becoming more and more persistent as he saw that his friends were looking uncomfortable and not answering. "I mean, I can't just forget about her in a second, now can I?"

"Well," Pansy said, looking around her for assistance. "She wasn't your Cinderella girl, Draco."

Draco looked like all the air had been punched out of him. "What?"

"Pansy's right, Draco," Theo said, coming to Pansy's defense. "Daphne was pretending to be your Cinderella girl, just so she could become your girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, Draco, but Daphne was never the girl you thought she was," Blaise said, looking at the floor. "She was pretending to be someone she never was."

Draco stood up abruptly. "I have to go."

As Draco opened the door, Morag suddenly spoke up.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Draco, but if we didn't tell you before the Ball, history could repeat, and your real Cinderella girl could end up going back to her room alone again."

Draco just stared at him before he closed the door with a slam.

Pansy sighed. "I hope we won't have to tell him about Hermione being his Cinderella, too. I can't stand breaking news to others."

Morag shook his head. "He'll recover from this one," he said confidently. "I just know it."

OoOoOoO

Mandy leapt onto the roof of a broom shed, landing softly. She quickly scanned the area, then pulled out her wand.

"Hey Mandy!" a familiar annoying voice called to her. "You're here again!"

Mandy groaned. "Bri Leonard," she greeted with gritted teeth. "What perfect timing you have."

"So, what are you doing here?" Bri asked with a sickeningly sweet smile. It made Mandy want to rip out all her teeth and throw it at her.

"Well, as you know, this used to be Brocklehurst grounds, so I'm just saying goodbye to it," Mandy lied, putting on her oh-I'm-not-lying-and-I'm-so-innocent-and-sweet face. If Mandy's nose grew with every lie she told, Mandy's nose would now be roughly the circumference of the earth. "So…….goodbye, home. Goodbye, childhood house. Goodbye, sweet memories."

When Mandy looked up again, Bri was still there. "May I please have a moment of silence for the deceased who have died on this place!" she snapped.

"Oh!" Bri gasped. "Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll leave immediately. Once again, I am _so _sorry."

How thick can you get? Mandy wondered silently as Bri scampered away. No wonder _everyone _picked up the nickname 'Banana Brianna'. Mandy turned back to the shed.

"_Protego Maximus",_ she hissed. Instantly, a large clear bubble surrounded her, effectively protecting her against spells that may be at work in the shed and on the chest. It wasn't her best work, as you could see the bubble's edges in the sun, but Mandy was strapped for time.

"Showtime," Mandy smirked, and opened the door quietly. "Hey, dad."

OoOoOoO

_Pop. _Thump.

_Pop._ Crash.

_Pop._ Thunk.

"Oww…………."

"Landing in a prickly bush is not my idea of a perfectly good afternoon, Harry."

"Why did we Apparate into this part of the forest, anyways? Why could've we ended up at, say, the coastline?"

"This was definitely not part of the plan."

"Tchah!"

"Did you even have to say it, mate?"

"I admit, it's a little embarrassing to be found in this situation, but come on! It's not even my plan, it's Orla Quirke's!"

Hermione coughed. _"Responsibility!" _

Harry scowled and brushed twigs and dirt off his back. "Trust me,_ I_ thought_ I_ would have a nice, safe, predictable landing, but_ no._ I didn't get that!"

Ron chucked a rock at Harry. "This is all your fault! You told us to Apparate here, and by the by, where is 'here'?"

Hermione pulled out a map. "According to this, we're supposedly in the Ragrotten Forest in Little Hallowtree, Albania." She looked around. "In my opinion, this looks like the Forest of Living Death, in Dead, Spirit."

Harry rolled his eyes. "We're definitely in the Ragrotten Forest. The characteristic sepia brown of the trees proves it. Only I'm not sure which part of the forest this is."

"Where is that MacDougal fellow when you need him?" Ron whined. "He can spot and hear anything within miles!"

Hermione whacked him. "Shut up, Ronald, stop complaining! We're all tired and hungry and miserable and pissed off right now! You're not the only one who's – " Hermione was cu off suddenly when they heard a loud snap behind them.

Harry's face was ashen. "W-who's there?"

Another snap.

"Whoever you are, you better come out right now or we'll hex you to smithereens!" Ron shouted bravely, though his wand was shaking horribly.

A rustle of leaves.

"We know spells you only dream about learning!" Hermione added in a shaky voice. "And we're not afraid to use them!"

As the thundering of horse's hooves could be heard, Harry, Ron, and Hermione clutched at each tightly and screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

OoOoOoO

As Draco approached the Fat Lady's portrait, it opened and a tall, brown-haired boy walked out and stumbled immediately into Draco.

"Urgh! Get off me!"

"I can't get off you, _you_ get off_ me_!"

"I can't do that, you need to get off first!"

"Well, I can't get off if you're not getting off!"

"Will you two just shut up!" the Fat Lady bellowed. "Nobody cares who's getting off the other first, so why don't you two just stop looking gay and untangle yourselves!"

Draco slowly got up and looked at the boy who had bumped into him. "Who are you?"

The boy brushed off his robes and said haughtily, "Dominic Cortez. Why do you want to know?"

Draco sniggered. "Isn't Dominic a girl's name?"

Dominic's nose twitched. "It can be used for both genders, and my parents chose to use the male version."

"Still," Draco laughed, "It's a girl's name!"

"Do any of you mock Blaise Zabini for his name? His is the most blatant girl name used by a boy in Hogwarts."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Blaise Zabini has created his own name here, but you obviously haven't, as I've never heard of a Dominic Cortez."

"I'm a Gryffindor sixth year."

"Ah, that explains it. First, you're a Gryffindor, so that means you're basically invisible. Second, you're a sixth year, which makes you even more invisible to my power-wielding, Prefect eye." Dominic's nose twitched again. It seemed as if his nose would twitch whenever he was upset, which was probably often, Draco supposed.

Draco smirked and turned to the Fat Lady and said confidently, "Password."

The Fat Lady shook her head. "Sorry, password's changed since the last time you were here."

Dominic smirked. "Let's see how your powerfulness and Prefect-ness can help you out in this little problem."

Draco scowled at him. "And you're just going to stand there and watch me suffer?"

"That's how Gryffindors operate." Even though Dominic's face was set like stone, you could hear his uncontained humor in his voice.

"Fine," Draco said, resigned. "I'll just spend a good twenty minutes here and guess the password. Harry Potter?"

"No."

"Hermione Granger? By the way, I'm here to see her, if that will get you to open up."

"No chance."

"Ron Weasley?"

"But I can tell you it's not any of the passwords you tried last time," the Fat Lady said helpfully.

"Well, that helps a bit," Draco mused, scratching his chin. "Slytherins Stink?"

"No."

"Malfoy is a jerk?"

"No."

"Scar?"

"No."

"Scarface?"

"No."

"Scarhead?"

"It's not in the scar family."

"Firebolt?"

"Ooh, close. That was the password before Lavender Brown changed it last night."

"So the password is something Lavender Brown has in interest?" Draco asked craftily. Dominic groaned. Draco noticed that Dominic's nose was now working overtime to keep up with his twitching.

"You're supposed to protect Gryffindor Tower, Melinda, not give out little hints and basically give people the password!"

"Your name is Melinda?" Draco asked The Fat Lady didn't look very much like a 'Melinda.'

The Fat Lady drew herself up. "Yes, my name is Melinda, but no one except for Dominic here has bothered to ask me! Even that stuffy boy, Percy Weasley, didn't ask!"

Draoc looked at Dominic in amazement. "Do you have _any_ friends?"

Dominic huffed. "Well, Melinda here is my friend!"

"Any others?"

Dominic scowled. "Well…….not really……."

Draco laughed. "I knew it!"

Dominic pulled out his wand and pointed it shakily at Draco.

"Look at that, you're so scared of the thought of attacking me!" Draco laughed. "Why don't you put your wand down and walk away like a good little boy!"

"_S – stupefy!"_ Dominic shouted. Unfortunately, the spell was so weak it barely touched Draco's robes before the jet of light fizzled and went out immediately.

"You really need to work on your dueling skills," Draoc said, looking disgusted now. "Your Stunning Spell probably can't knock even a fly out!"

Dominic's brown hair was getting more and more tousled as he shook with rage. "Shut up, Malfoy! You don't know what you're talking about! Just_ shut up_!" And with that, Dominic Cortez's first powerful spell shot out of his wand and swallowed Draco's body in a bubble of brilliant white light.

As the white light faded, Dominic rubbed his eyes and noticed one heart-stopping detail. The bubble was now gone. And so was Draco Malfoy.

OoOoOoO

Mandy rolled the little silver hourglass in her hand over and over.

"If you're feeding on Dad's life, then destroying you will give him his life back…………..right?" she wondered. She had been contemplating this question over and over again for the past fifteen minutes. "Unless………..you've already sucked off all of Dad's life?"

Mandy took a deep breath and pointed her wand at the hourglass. "Er………_Reducto?" _she tested. A jet of blue light hit the surface of the hourglass and bounced off immediately.

Mandy stood up and scowled. "I knew Voldemort put every freaky little protection spell he ever knew on it!" she snapped. "I guess I'll just have to do it the Muggle way!"

She placed the little hourglass on the ground, climbed up on a shelf, and jumped down, landing squarely on the hourglass.

There was shattering crunch of broken glass and Mandy smirked.

As the wisp of a body slowly floated over the now broken hourglass, Mandy whipped out her wand and shouted, _"Corpus aturna!"_

The wisp continued to float there and Mandy gasped as she realized that this matter would call for Dark Magic. It takes Dark magic to counter Dark Magic, she remembered wryly. Grasping every single memory she had of her father, she shouted, _"Everto Maximus!" _

The spell hit the wisp, but it continued to drift upwards.

Mandy swore loudly and aimed her wand at the ceiling. _"Heresco!" _

This spell worked. The wisp was stuck to the ceiling, buying Mandy some time to think of more spells she could use to destroy it.

An hour later, Mandy was up to her wit's end. "Argh!" she screamed in frustration and threw her shoe at the wisp.

Instead of going through, her shoe bounced off the wisp and hit Mandy on the forehead. But the large bump on Mandy's forehead was nothing to the idea that was growing inside her head.

If the shoe could bounce off, Mandy thought, Would that mean a sharp object could pass through and penetrate?

"Only one way to find out," she whispered aloud. Mandy took off her earring and crouched on the shelf. She carefully poked the wisp. The earring went through and Mandy let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Over the next two hours, Mandy stabbed the wisp that still stuck to the ceiling until there was only one last stab to make. She had transfigured her earring into a large needle as to make matters easier.

Mandy paused for a moment and rubbed her hand. "Please come back," she whispered to the lifeless figure of her father lying below. "Please come back." And with that, Mandy stabbed the last remaining part of the Ravenclaw Horcrux.

Immediately, a deep wind whirled around in the shed, scattering dirt and dust everywhere. Mandy screamed as the wind pushed her over the edge of the shelf and she fell down, fell down into a world of blackness.

OoOoOoO

"Well, Albania was a bust," Ron muttered as they trooped dejectedly out of the Forbidden Forest and saw the glittering lights of Hogwarts.

"We didn't even get any information from that stupid unicorn that scared us all to death," Hermione added grouchily.

"Ditto the snakes," Harry put in, scowling deeply.

"At least we managed to destroy the locket today," Ron said. This comment was deprived of its usual optimistic mood and replaced with a sulky one.

"Yeah, but we've still got Nagini and Ravenclaw's hourglass," Hermione snapped waspishly as she pushed open the doors of the Great Hall. A few students stared at their dirty robes and faces, but one dark look in their direction quickly had them eating dinner again.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but there's just absolutely no way you can defeat Voldemort, he still has two bodies left!" Ron said, picking up a whole platter of chicken drumsticks and pulling it towards him.

Harry nodded dejectedly and did the same with the roast beef.

Hermione opted for a more refined heaping three spoonfuls of Shepard's Pie and two large scoops of mashed potatoes. "But don't lose hope, if by some stroke of sheer dumb luck we find that the Horcruxes are all destroyed, you'll have a good chance of winning."

"The battle's in two days," Harry said cynically, staring at Hermione. "Two. Days."

"Oh, I know that. That's why I said sheer dumb luck."

They lapsed into silent eating until Ginny burst into the Great Hall and plunked herself down next to Hermione.

"Did you guys hear?" she squealed excitedly. "Mandy Brocklehurst and Draco Malfoy's been missing ever since this afternoon and they're still not back!" Loud choking and swearing from the Slytherin table accompanied this comment.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged worried looks. "Uh-oh," Hermione muttered. "This can't be good."

OoOoOoO

Mandy slowly opened her eyes and blinked. She was in the shed. The shed. The shed, she thought over and over. As the memories hit her, a massive headache accompanied it.

Mandy slowly stood up and grabbed onto a shelf quickly to support herself. Then she remembered her father and turned towards him. As she checked over his body, her foot accidentally crushed a little piece of glass into the ground. Mandy turned around and sank to her knees and picked the shards of the now destroyed hourglass.

Mandy looked back at her father, who was now most definitely gone, and back to the hourglass Letting out a deep breath, she smiled faintly and said clearly, _"Reparo." _

The broken shards immediately flew up and repaired themselves. A few seconds later, the hourglass, in one piece, was lying in her hand. Mandy smiled again and put the chain around her father's neck.

As Mandy stood up and opened the door, she looked back again. A single solitary tear dripped down her cheek and she brushed it away impatiently.

"Goodbye, Dad."

Mandy closed the door and let out a sigh. One door has closed, she thought sadly, but somewhere, another one for me has opened.

As she Disapparated with a quiet pop, the shed emitted a soft silver glow and the dull thunk of a chest being closed and the click of a lock could be heard in the quiet night air.

OoOoOoO

A/N – Sorry for the long update, but school's started and I had to get my supplies. You'll all find out where Draco was sent by Dominic next chapter, so don't worry about him! Also, next chapter is the Final Battle, so stay tuned!

The answer to my reviews………

luvHaru7 – Thanks! I felt like this chapter was a bit more serious, but I promise that after the Final Battle, the humor will be caking on! And I think you're a great writer, even though I have no clue what Rurouni Kenshin is! And besides, you will never be the only one that finds something funny because there will be _at least_ one person in the _entire world_ that'll find it funny, too.

cemicool – Actually, neither of them knew where the other was, Mandy was popping in (literally, by Apparation) to destroy the Ravenclaw Horcrux that was around her father's neck, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were there in the countryside to find a place to Apparate without drawing attention from the Muggles. And I knew that sometime in the story, one character had to give it all away, and al the major characters in my story either seemed too unlikely (Theo doing it was impossible, Blaise and Pansy blabbing would be too weird since they don't hang around Hermione anyways, Harry and Ron were planning their Horcrux adventure, Draco didn't know, and Mandy was……_disposed_.) And as much I would like to say that Theo is gay, as a freaky little plot twist, sadly, he is not.

Love Hope Joy – So…….if I told you that Sam and Nick were our age and went to Miller, would you consider it? Just kidding!

Sam's Firefly – Ooh, I've had that kind of pie! It was delicious! The Oreo one I haven't tried yet, but I know that I'll be scouring the stores for it now!

TriXter21 – Actually, it was half of her family when she was a baby, but the rest were all killed one way or another over the years, so probably the only family Mandy has now is her mom, cousin, and uncle.

Classic.knight – I hope Dominic Cortez was to your liking! I'm sorry I made him as a sixth year, but I like to keep this story in canon as much possible, so Harry would at least have some memory of Dominic if he was a seventh year. And by the way, he'll return for a bit next chapter.

Additional thanks to me, AnimeAlexis, makinmagic7, dragoneyes5000, iona cow, amythestpony, and iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy!

Don't forget to review!

-Lily in a Pond


	21. Utterly Thingless

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-One

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: This story's almost finished, and you're still asking for a disclaimer? For shame!

A/N – There's only a few more chapters to go, so stay tuned!

OoOoOoO

Halloween was a shoddy affair. Harry could practically feel the tension radiating in the Great Hall when he came downstairs for breakfast. Even the enchanted pumpkins seemed to be saying things with their glowing eyes.

"Hey, Harry!" squeaked a familiar annoying voice.

Harry groaned. I was hoping to see less of Colin Creevey this year, he thought bitterly. But some things just can't come true.

"Hullo, Colin," he replied dully, staring blankly into his porridge.

Colin took no notice of Harry's mood. "Can I have your picture, Harry? As sort of like a memento, in case you die?"

Harry's head shot up so fast he could have sworn he heard something crack in his neck. "I am _not _going to die tomorrow! Why does everyone keep focusing on that?" he snapped.

Colin backed away slowly. "Uh…….I'll be er…going now….I think…….bye, Harry!" And with another frightened look back at Harry, Colin fled away from the Great Hall.

Harry sighed and picked up a piece of toast, idly crumbling it. "Why is my life so miserable?"

"Because you made it miserable with your stupid scar," came a slightly nasal voice from behind.

"Theo," Harry greeted.

"Harry," Theo returned. "Excited about tomorrow's battle? Wait, what am I thinking?" Theo laughed sarcastically. "Of course you're not, you're either going to kill or be killed."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You have no idea how many people have told me this today."

"I already know. Five since now," Theo volunteered. Seeing the surprised look in Harry's eyes, he explained, "I've got eyes everywhere."

"Yeah, everywhere but your face," Harry muttered.

"Pardon? Did I just hear the great and powerful, all-mighty Gryffindor Harry Potter grow the equivalent of a snake backbone?" Theo exclaimed.

"Snakes don't have backbones," Hermione cut in as she sat down next to Harry. "They're invertebrates."

"Redundancy, 'Mione," Mandy interjected, reaching for the jam. The others stared at her.

"What?" Mandy protested. "I just came over for the peach jam, it's not like I'm a ghost or something. Wait, am I?" She quickly looked down. "Nope, I'm not. So, spill. What's the reason with your preoccupation with my face?"

"Where were you yesterday, Mandy?" Hermione asked. "I mean, you were missing all of the afternoon and dinner!"

"I think _you two_ know where I was," Mandy said, glancing at Harry and Hermione.

"Wait, you mean, the thing about the thing?" Hermione asked excitedly.

"Oh, that thing!" Harry exclaimed.

Theo looked between them. "What's the thing?"

"It's something," Hermione told him absentmindedly before turning back to Mandy. "So, you mean that the thing is the thing we were trying to destroy, but you destroyed the thing first and the thing is gone, like, forever?"

"What's the thing?" Theo whined behind her.

"Yeah, the thing's gone forever. No more thing in your lives," Mandy replied happily. Then her face darkened. "Unfortunately, the thing didn't awake the other thing, so now both of the things are gone for good."

"_What is the thing?"_ Theo yelled angrily.

"Hello, all," Ron said cheerily as he plopped down and grabbed the scrambled eggs. "Lovely day, isn't it?" Harry grumbled something incoherent and emptied a peppershaker on his toast. "What are you guys talking about?"

"The thing," Hermione said and Ron's face brightened.

"The thing's gone?" he asked excitedly, food spewing everywhere.

"Ugh," Hermione said. "Ugh."

"Go on, go on, don't include me in your conversation, forget everything I ever did to you," Theo muttered at the same time and stalked off to the Slytherin table.

Mandy looked back at him. "What's wrong with him?"

Ron shrugged and reached for the pancakes. "Probably suffering from some kind of control-freak disease."

OoOoOoO

Draco was wet. Draco was uncomfortable. Draco was hungry. And most of all, Draco's hair was messed up. Badly.

To sum it up, Draco Malfoy was not a happy man.

Of course, you wouldn't be very happy if you were currently floating in water that seemed to stretch forever.

No, you would be pissed, which was what Draco was feeling at this time.

"Dominic Cortes is going to pay big-time for this!" he yelled, shaking his fist at a duck that floated by, quacking happily.

OoOoOoO

Pansy entered the Slytherin Common Room and immediately tripped over a stuffed animal.

"Argh," she mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her head. "Gack."

"You want to explain why you're on the floor, Pans?" Morag asked, leaning imperiously over Pansy.

"Someone left their stuffed piece of crap on the floor and I tripped over it."

Morag turned red. "I may know who that um….stuffed………._piece of crap_ belongs to."

"Oh, really? Who?"

"It's er……well, this may be quite shocking….but, um……..it's mine," Morag whispered. "But I wasn't going to keep it, I was going to give it to someone!" he finished quickly.

Pansy stared incredulously at him. "Well, I really hope you're giving it to a girl."

"Trust me, I'm _not_ gay."

"Funnily enough, that was what I was thinking for seven years," Pansy muttered under her breath and Morag started on his homework.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"Well, you have ears for a reason," Pansy sneered, getting out her quill and parchment. Morag scowled.

"Well, at least I don't think Professor Jocular is saying, "The basics of our sex can," when he's really saying, "The aces of our next hand – '," he retorted and Pansy's face turned bright red.

"That was low, Morag, even for you, even for you."

Morag shrugged in a superior way and returned to his homework. He failed to notice an inkbottle was floating rather precariously above his head, with Pansy smirking widely behind his back.

SMASH!

OoOoOoO

"Are you guys ever going to tell me where you went and what the thing is?" Theo scowled, popping up behind Ron and making him, Harry, and Hermione jump only a relatively normal seven feet in the air.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Ron yelled. Theo shrugged.

"It was no easy feat, but, as you know, even the portraits accept bribes."

"And the Fat Lady's price was……?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrows.

"She's going on a date tomorrow with one of the Slytherin portraits. James Henley, the late Lord Sheridan of Cornwall, to be exact."

Harry looked apprehensive. "I'm almost afraid to ask this, but how did you manage this?"

Theo scrunched up his nose. "Well – "

"Ooh, you look like a bunny!" Parvati Patil squealed as she passed by with Lavender Brown, who winked at Ron.

Theo looked miffed. "Excuse me, but Slytherins do not appreciate comparisons to woodland fauna!"

"Ooh, now you look like one of those spotty owls!" Parvati cried, smiling widely. "I never knew you had so many talents!"

Theo's foot began tapping a slightly salsa-y tune on the floor. "Well, acting is one of my many attributes," he answered. "And hey, apparently, so is modesty."

Parvati laughed. "And you're also funny! Want to get a drink sometime?"

Theo contemplated this. "Sure, why not? It's not like you're a conniving gossip who just _happens_ to go on dates with slimy Slytherin snakes."

"Alliteration," Hermione stated in a bored tone.

Parvati was currently writing something down on a planner that suspiciously resembled a piece of enchanted, scented, pink parchment all bundled up. "So, I'll see you Sunday, then?"

Theo shrugged. "Sure."

Parvati smiled. "Great! I mean, you would not believe the nerve of that Dean Thomas, he actually had the audacity to refuse to Hogsmeade with me."

"I do not believe that you know the word 'audacity'," Hermione muttered underneath her breath.

"I mean, who cares if you already have a girlfriend?" Parvati rolled her eyes. "It's not like you're engaged or whatever!"

"And it's not like you're American or whatever, but you're definitely talking like one," Hermione added in an undertone.

As Parvati and Lavender left the room, Theo turned back to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"So, are you ever going to tell me what the thing is?"

"No," Harry snapped. "We don't trust your Slytherin faiths...that is, if you have any."

"I'm pretty sure we don't," Theo muttered. Hermione and Ron nodded in agreement.

"Since you have overstayed our welcome, I think you should go," Ron said. Theo looked strangely at him.

"Why?"

Ron sputtered. "Because you're…………_you!"_

"Well, that was something I've definitely heard before, but I've never actually placed!" Theo retorted sarcastically.

"No, we mean that you're a Slytherin. We're Gryffindors," Hermione patiently explained. 'You're snakes, we're lions. You're green, we're red. You're cunning, we're brave. You have famous leaders like Voldemort while we have Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore doesn't count, 'Mione," Ron reminded her. "Everyone that's dead doesn't count as a famous witch or wizard."

"Oh. Then we have Harry."

"I don't count either, since tomorrow I'm apparently going to die," Harry mumbled.

"Well, won't that little statement nip you right in the you-know-where if it turns out tomorrow you don't die and instead live, but what you said to Fate made you die," Theo replied cheerfully.

Hermione swiveled around. "Harry's already worrying himself into a freshly dug grave, Theo. Can you please leave off for one minute about how he's going to die!" she snapped.

"Ooh, so the hair de-bushes and the claws come out – by the way, how's Polyjuice Potion coming along?" Theo sneered, smirking triumphantly as Hermione's face turned bright red. "You upset, Granger, now that Malfoy's gone?"

Hermione gasped. "Oh no! I forgot all about Draco!" she shrieked. "Harry, you go on and…you know……think happy thoughts about our futures, Ron, you……………eat something! I have to go now! I need to go to the library!"

"You know, for ages I've wondered if she's having an illicit affair with Madam Pince," Theo remarked. Harry and Ron gaped. "What? It makes sense, in a sick and twisted way."

"Hermione likes Malfoy, Theo," Ron replied, albeit a little hesitantly. "She's not a lesbian."

"Hey, I never said she was."

"My life is so miserable," a tiny voice said behind them, crumpling up his piece of parchment. Harry whirled around and started rounding on the kid.

"Your life is miserable?" Harry spat out. _"Your_ life is miserable? Well, you're not either going to kill or be killed tomorrow, are you? You haven't been forced to grow up so quickly you have absolutely no idea what an innocent life is, have you? Your life isn't so miserable that you walk around with a scar and hear all the gossip about you! Your life isn't a life that's practically been set into stone ever since the day you were born! Your life isn't practically a piece of – !"

"Harry, stop it," Ron hurriedly cut in. "You're making him cry."

Behind his back, Theo was cheering.

"Wahoo! Go, Potter! Go and bash that kid's brains out!"

Ron shot a look oddly reminiscent of Hermione at Theo. "Theo, can you kindly go back to your own common room and bother the people there?"

"Fine, fine, I understand when I'm not wanted," Theo replied, holding up his hands in surrender. "See yas, Gryffindorks."

As Theo opened the portrait door, he immediately collided with a dark-haired boy.

"Oh, no, not again!" Dominic Cortes's voice moaned as he struggled to untangle himself with Theo, who was currently in a state of squished.

OoOoOoO

"You wanted to see me, Professor?"

Professor de Vellofides looked up and readjusted his glasses. "Yes, yes, do come in, Harry. Sit down, sit down. Make yourself comfortable."

"Now," de Vellofides leaned back into his chair, "Harry, there's something I think you should know about Voldemort and his Horcruxes."

Harry leaned forward eagerly.

"I assume that you already know that Lord Voldemort has six Horcruxes, Professor Dumbledore informed me of this before his………passing. What you do not know is that the snake Nagini has already been destroyed, so that leaves five Horcruxes. Have you destroyed the five?"

"Well, I didn't actually destroy all five, some of my friends helped……" Harry muttered.

Professor de Vellofides smiled. "This is what Lord Voldemort never understood; teamwork. He always did things by himself and almost never trusted things with Death Eaters, except for some useless trinkets." Professor de Vellofides shuffled some papers on his desk and looked Harry in the eye. "So now, by this hour tomorrow, you and Lord Voldemort will be battling on true strength and power. Not on extra lives. The playing field is finally fair, Harry."

de Vellofides's eyes suddenly acquired a gleam. "I'm not sure if you know this, but I was in the Order of Phoenix, Harry. I fought alongside your parents, alongside Remus Lupin, alongside Mad-Eye Moody, and alongside many others you might know of. I was their friend, Harry. I was their friend."

"I know that," Harry sad, squirming slightly in his seat. There was something about Professor de Vellofides's office that made him uneasy. It was like there always seemed to be eyes watching him.

"Harry. You cannot lose this battle. You cannot lose this battle because you would be giving up everything that everyone who died lost their lives for. You have to stop Voldemort."

Harry nodded grimly, his mouth in a thin line.

"Remember, there are no more Horcruxes left, so you can have a fair chance with Voldemort. Don't waste this opportunity, because it might be your last."

Harry stood up stiffly. "I understand, sir."

"Good day, Mr. Potter, and remember, things are better accomplished when you have luck on your side," de Vellofides winked and Harry managed a weak grin as he stumbled out of his office.

OoOoOoO

Hermione was frantically turning the pages of Magical Transportation and More, searching for anything that would explain why Draco was missing. Hermione swore loudly when she reached the end.

Ernie Macmillan looked up from where he was studying. "Can you please keep it down? I'm trying to study for NEWT's!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and sprinted out of the library. No, she would not acknowledge the fact that the library had failed her, but she wasn't going to give up anytime soon. As she reached the Fat Lady's portrait, someone came up and collided head-on with Hermione.

A pair of brown eyes was the last thing Hermione saw before getting knocked to the floor.

"Urgh," Hermione mumbled. "Urgh."

The Fat Lady sniggered from above. "This seems to happen more and more, eh, Dominic? Maybe it's nature giving you a sign that you're bisexual!"

"Shut up," Dominic Cortes muttered and using the floor as a surface, hoisted himself up.

Unfortunately, that floor turned out to be Hermione's chest.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You pervert! Get off me, I'm Head Girl and can have one thousand points taken off your house, even if you are from Gryffindor! Get away from me, PERVERT!"

OoOoOoO

Harry was at the lake with Luna when _it_ happened. There was already a depression over their heads and the gloomy expressions their faces didn't help.

"Are you sure about this?" he was saying before _it_ happened.

"I'm positive," Luna answered grimly, a set expression on her face. The girlish light in her eyes was gone, replaced with a hardness no one could have ever imagined. "I'm absolutely sure de Vellofides is lying."

The silence that continued was pierced suddenly.

"Look!" Luna cried, pointing frantically towards the Forbidden Forest.

Over one hundred people in dark cloaks were emerging from the forest. Towering over them, giants followed. As Harry felt a chill down his spine, he looked up and saw dementors gliding slowly over the forest.

"Go into the castle and tell everyone in our year and everyone that wants to help to walk three times past the blank wall across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy on the seventh floor and think, 'recruiting space' while walking," he whispered frantically to Luna, sprinting the way up to the castle. "We need to get reinforcements."

OoOoOoO

All over the castle, people were running in every direction. Chaos was everywhere.

As various seventh, sixth, fifth, and even fourth years came filing quickly into the Room of Requirements, Harry took a deep breath and looked outside the window Hermione had conjured, now Vanished to people who were looking in, but not to people who were looking out.

What he saw truly frightened him.

_This_ was a battle. Not the pseudo fight they had in Hogsmeade, this was the real thing. Voldemort and his allies were coming in, and they looked ready to fight. Just the pure number of Voldemort's army shocked Harry. There was just so many………

Harry took another deep breath and took out his wand. He now knew what to do.

Harry cast a quick glance to where Hermione and Ron were assembling the other students into lines.

"I'm going out," he announced quietly and the room immediately silenced.

"No! Harry, you can't!" Ginny screamed. "You'll be killed!"

Harry turned to her. "No. This is what I must do. This is what we have to do, we have to fight and defend Hogwarts. This is something that's going to happen sooner or later."

"And if Voldemort thinks I'm going to stand back and watch Hogwarts be destroyed, well, he's got a hell of a problem coming to him because we're not going down without a fight."

OoOoOoO

A/N – I'm so sorry about the long wait for this chapter! I got a HUGE case of writer's block halfway, and was too busy with the new school year for another week. Hope this chapter was to your liking!

And the million-dollar reviews……

IMnOtReAlLYcRaZy – Strangely enough, when I read over my chapter, I was thinking of the same thing…..

Sam's Firefly – Now that Mandy's had her fair share of tragedy (and more!), it's finally time for me to give her the happy ending she deserves, with Blaise! Yay!

Me – I'm thinking of scheduling Daphne's appearance in the next chapter, or perhaps in the chapter after that, with the upcoming HUB. Trust me, Daphne will SUFFER!

BlackXxXblossom – Thank you! I'm glad you like my story, with it's little moments! Most of the greatest ideas used in this story were inspired by real life, though!

Classic.knight – Thanks, I hope I didn't overuse the, "Dominic Cortes-falling-on-everyone" thing too much. Fear not, as the last chapter will have a reunion of all the characters my reviewers have made! So, be expecting Dominic Cortes, Bri Leonard, Melody Brocklehurst, and Diana Greengrass in their triumphal return!

TriXter21 – Yup, took Draco that long to finally realize that hate and love are only fifth cousins twice removed!

AnimeAlexis – You guessed it! And yes, Draco is so pathetic he didn't realize that password was, "Draco Malfoy!"

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – No, Mandy's dad is still, sadly, dead. But the good news is that the Horcrux is destroyed! Draco's not coming back from _Australia_ until next chapter!

School-of-Rock101 – Thanks! I like comic relief in those really serious stories. Than again, my story wasn't supposed to be serious at all, it was supposed to be a fluffy romance!

Additional thanks to yummuy and yummers, Your Mom is my Heart., dragoneyes5000, amythestpony, and GoDeSs-Of-LiOnEsSeS!

See yas!

- Lily in a Pond


	22. The Night of Bad Acting

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Two

By Lily in Pond

Disclaimer: There is no granting of wishes in the world, or I wouldn't need a disclaimer…anyways, not mine.

OoOoOoO

Hogwarts was a bloody mess. Hexes and curses were flying all over the place, blood was splattering everywhere, and every so often, a body fell lifeless to the ground.

Ron tripped over a body and cursed loudly when he realized it was Colin Creevey.

"Hermione!" he called, seeing a mane of bushy brown fly past him.

Hermione turned around and quickly ducked to avoid an Imperious Curse.

"Have you seen Harry anywhere?" she screamed at Ron, above the noise of the battlefield.

"No!" he bellowed back. "The last time I saw him he was charging toward the Quidditch field!"

"That's where Voldemort is!" Hermione cried. "We have to help!"

"I don't think so," sneered a familiar voice. "This is Potter's battle, and no Mudblood or weasel is going to tip the odds."

Ron glared at Lucius Malfoy. "Your Dark Lord may work alone, but Harry has friends that care about him."

"Some people rely on outside help, but the Dark Lord operates alone," Lucius snapped back at him.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Okay, we don't care, so get out of our way! _Stupefy!" _

"_Protego!"_ Lucius blocked the spell easily. "I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy, Miss Granger."

"Not if I do this," Ron snarled as he hit Lucius as hard as he could in the stomach. Malfoy slumped down onto the ground, clutching his stomach and Ron quickly stunned him. "Quoting you from third year, that felt good."

Hermione grinned and looked around anxiously. "C'mon, let's go find Harry."

OoOoOoO

Draco looked around his swampy surroundings and sighed. These are going to be the last moments of my life, he thought pessimistically.

A loud snap in the woods startled him. "Who's there?" Draco called out, trying to stay calm.

"Nobody," a boy's voice answered. "Oh, shit," Dominic Cortes muttered and stepped out of the bushes.

"You!" Draco screamed. "You sent me here! Get me back to Hogwarts!"

"That's what I'm here to do," Dominic snapped, wading through the marshy wetness. "Unfortunately, this……._liquid_ makes it harder."

"Yeah, take all the time you have in the world. Hey, why don't you borrow some from Father Time?" Draco snarled sarcastically.

Dominic glared at Draco. "Do you want me to get you out, or what?"

"Judging by how things are going, I'll take the 'or what'," Draco muttered cynically.

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Well, I said it _out loud!"_ Draco shouted. "Now get me out of here before I hex you to smithereens and burn up your remains!"

Dominic rolled his eyes. "Like you haven't said that a million other times before." Seeing the murderous expression on Draco's face, he hastily added, "Alright, alright, I'm coming. Don't break a nail."

"Too late," Draco muttered, looking wistfully down at his hands. "All too late."

OoOoOoO

Harry was running as fast as he could towards the Quidditch field when he heard a scream behind him.

Luna, he thought grimly. Another one down.

Seamus was unconscious. Dean had been Stunned. Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchey were both clutching injuries, and Terry Boot was cursing quite profanely over his broken ankle.

Altogether, six down.

OoOoOoO

Pansy Parkinson and Mandy Brocklehurst were trapped on the cliff on the east side of Hogwarts.

They couldn't run, they couldn't Apparate out, they couldn't hide.

You must sacrifice things to win a war, Mandy thought bitterly. Her eyes made contact with Pansy's and they shared a look of understanding.

Mandy swallowed hard and pulled out her wand. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Pansy doing the same.

"_Detritus!" _

As a mountain of rocks came tumbling down on the six Death Eaters and themselves, Mandy whispered a silent prayer and hoped that those words wouldn't be her last.

Eight down.

OoOoOoO

Susan Bones' eyes widened as Ernie Macmillan sprang out of nowhere and yanked her to the ground.

The Death Eater advanced towards them and Susan out managed a feeble, "Protego."

"Go," Ernie whispered to Susan. "Save yourself."

Susan, terrified to death, nodded and quickly blended into the forest. Peeking from behind the bushes, she saw the Death Eater pointing his wand at Ernie. Susan closed her eyes as a deep blue light filled the area.

Nine down.

OoOoOoO

"Are you sure you want to kill me?" Anthony Goldstein asked the Death Eater who had his wand to his throat. The Death Eater nodded and pushed his wand tip in further.

"Ouch! Mind the Adam's Apple, please!"

"I'm going to kill you."

Anthony raised his eyebrows. "Well, I haven't heard that one before."

"I'm going to kill you," the Death Eater repeated.

"No comment."

OoOoOoO

"Do you……like black?" Blaise Zabini asked the Death who was slowly inching him towards the edge of a cliff. "It seems you wear a lot of it. Might I suggest periwinkle?"

"I don't do periwinkle," the Death Eater snarled.

"Whoa, man," Blaise started. The Death Eater glowered at him. "I mean, whoa, uh, madam. Chill. There's nothing wrong with wearing periwinkle; it'll be a perfectly lovely shade on you."

"I don't do periwinkle," the evidently female Death Eater repeated.

"How 'bout lavender, then?"

"I don't wear pastels. I wear black, a very dark shade of sepia, and an extremely burnt shade of charcoal."

"Interesting. Would you consider navy with pinstripes?"

The Death Eater sighed and lowered her wand. "Look, kid, if you want to confess that you're gay, do it now before I kill you."

Blaise stared at her. "……..I'm not gay."

"Funnily enough, it would seem so," the Death Eater replied with a rather sadistic smirk.

OoOoOoO

"Holy cows square-dancing on a baloney covered cracker," Ginny Weasley breathed. Harry looked at her quizzically. "When you live with Ron, the world revolves around food," she explained.

Harry nodded, albeit a bit skeptically.

"This place is so cool," Ginny continued. "It's like the haven for all magical creatures."

"Gin," Harry began. "This is always what the Quidditch field at night looks like."

"It's magical."

"Okay," Harry agreed. "Now do you want to actually start searching for the man who's been hunting me down for seventeen years?"

"There's no need for that!" a voice boomed from above. "Lord Voldemort has entered the building!"

"That is so cheesy," Ginny muttered.

"Mozzarella," Harry added. "Extra cheesy."

OoOoOoO

"So, you actually like cooking gourmet food and swimming with sharks?" Blaise asked as clarification. The Death Eater next to him, whose name was Charlene, nodded.

"The sharks are actually quite friendly after you've forced a Calming Drought into their system, and they're very good navigators at sea. And I've always liked eating good food and even more cooking it," she replied.

Blaise shook his head. "I've learned more from you than all my friends combined."

"Are your friends not intelligent?"

"I'm thinking they are."

Charlene smiled. "Birds of a feather flock together."

"Hey!"

Charlene checked her watch and Blaise noticed her action. "Hey, where'd you get that? Isn't that a Muggle thing?"

"Nicked it off from some Mudblood in Diagon Alley," Charlene said carelessly. "It was like taking candy from a baby."

They were silent for a moment until Blaise suddenly said,

"All Death Eaters aren't that bad, are they? I mean, if there's more like you, they can't be all loot-pillage-burn people."

"Some of us are that way. Some of us aren't," Charlene finished quietly. "It's strange, but only the extremely bad Death Eaters are remembered, while the relatively alright ones are forgotten and put away. But that's life. You never forget the bad things, while good things don't last."

Blaise sat up. "Give me your watch for a second," he said suddenly. Charlene noticed his ears were prickling up, like a dog's.

Blaise started turning the watch over and over again. Under his breath, he kept mumblings little jumbles of words that made absolutely no sense to Charlene.

Finally, he gave up and returned the watch to Charlene. "This is useless without Mandy's research," he groaned.

"Who's Mandy?" Charlene asked.

"She's……well, I guess she's my girlfriend," Blaise replied absentmindedly. "She did a load of research last year on Muggle electronics functioning in the Wizarding World, and I really need those notes right now because I think I've just discovered a loophole around Muggle equipment not working properly in magical areas."

"That's interesting," Charlene said, playing with her watch and turning it over. "Are you going to call it Wizarding Wireless? Because I think we already have that…"

"If Mandy and I discover it, we'll probably just make it a branch of Wizarding Wireless," Blaise decided. "Either that or 'Eco Market 2000'."

"Life is turning in different ways," Charlene suddenly said. "I mean, you're probably going to invent that with Mandy, and all your friends will grow up to do something worth mentioning, but what am I going to do? I'll just be remembered as a stray Death Eater who didn't even make a name in history and go to Azkaban."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like that's going to happen. Some people chose the wrong path on their to life. You just need to get on the right path again."

Charlene sighed. "OR, I could kill you and make a name for myself right here and now."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"…"

"Well, I most certainly am not dead."

"As am I."

"As am I."

"As am I."

"As am I."

"As am – oh, shut up!"

OoOoOoO

"Lord Voldemort is great in all areas!" Lord Voldemort, the aforementioned, boomed. "He will kill you, the oh-so-great Boy-Who-Lived tonight!"

"You know, I don't think I've heard that one before," Harry said sarcastically to Ginny before whipping out his wand. "Bring it on, Tom!"

"Bring it on, Potter!"

"Um…." Ginny mumbled. "Loonies."

Voldemort ran down the stairs of the Quidditch stands, tripped over the hem of his robes, cursed very loudly and graphically, and landed quite painfully on the ground.

"Damn you, Quidditch! I never liked you!" he growled, getting to his feet and brushing off his robes.

"Gin, I think you should stay away," Harry muttered. "You're going to get hurt."

"What?" Ginny squawked, flailing her arms like a duck. "How could you be cruel as to leave me all alone in the night, wondering if you're dead or not, Harry James Potter? How could you, Harry James Potter?_ How could you?"_

"Well, if you want to die, that's fine with me," Harry managed out.

"Hey!" Ginny exclaimed. "All of life's mysteries are solved in death, and I want the answers!"

Voldemort's eyes flickered from one to the other. "Enough!" he yelled. "I am trying to kill someone right now, and you are getting in the way of it! Can't I just have one day where I get what I want?" he wailed.

Harry and Ginny looked at the helpless Voldemort, who had sunk to his knees and was now sobbing dramatically into his robes.

"Kill him," Ginny whispered, out of the corner of her mouth. "Kill him now."

"I can't! It would be extremely unfair since the odds are in my favor!" Harry protested.

"Oh, stop being gallant and do it already!' she exclaimed. "You're probably never going to get a chance like this again, so take it and finish him off!"

"I JUST CAN'T!" Harry yelled. "Even though this is the man – man-snake – snake-man – whatever – that's ruined my entire life, I can't kill him when he's like this! He deserves a fair battle, and that's what he's going to get!"

"But Harry," Ginny whined. "You can kill him now by cheating, or you can tempt Fate by going into a fair battle!"

"Hey, you know what? This isn't even my decision anymore. I'm just going to wait till he stops being a drama queen – " Voldemort sobbed even harder – "and gets himself back together, because that would be a fair battle!"

"So, you're just going to wait for the waterworks to stop?"

"Exactly."

"Fine. Be a stupid egghead for all I care."

"Fine. I _will_ be a stupid egghead."

"Fine."

OoOoOoO

"So………you still want to kill me?" Anthony asked the Death Eater.

"Yes."

"Okay. That's nice to know."

"Yes."

Anthony heard the rustling of the trees. "You still want to kill me?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

OoOoOoO

"Ow," Mandy mumbled, as she slowly got up and rubbed the giant bump on her head. "Great. Now I'm going to fail NEWT's."

Mandy turned around and started brushing the rubble off of Pansy's shape. "If I'm living, then Pansy's definitely alive since she didn't get the full blast of the rocks," she muttered.

"Urg," Pansy mumbled.

"Come on, let's go! We need to help!"

A rustling of robes caught Mandy's ears. "Not you," she snapped, pointing her wand at the Death Eater and stunning him. "You're not wanted."

"God, this is hell!" Pansy whined. "My head feels so freaking heavy and it's throbbing like crap!"

"You think you have problems," Mandy muttered.

"Actually, I do!" Pansy exclaimed. "When we get back to Hogwarts, I am so going to Floo Madame Bourbon's Twilight Spa!"

"Make a reservation for me," Mandy grumbled as they trooped over the hill and peered down at the Quidditch field. "Oh, my god!"

"What is it?" Pansy cried, running over.

"Voldemort's sobbing in a little heap on the stadium floor and Harry's not even going anything!"

"WHAT?" Pansy shrieked. "The nerve of that little motherfu – "

"WHAT IN BLAZES DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?"

Mandy and Pansy screamed.

After a few seconds of endless banshee sounds, Severus Snape decided it was enough. "Shut up!" he roared.

They continued screaming.

"Shut up!"

More screaming.

Snape threw up his hands. "Oh, for the love of god!" he exclaimed, and pushed the still-screaming Mandy and Pansy off the hill, where they landed quite unceremoniously at Harry's feet. Irritatingly enough, they were still screaming.

"Kill him!" Pansy screeched as soon as she regained her balance. Voldemort seemed to be deaf as well as ignorant of his current surroundings.

_Pop. _Draco Malfoy and Dominic Cortes appeared next to the still-screaming Mandy and Pansy.

"Oh, yeah!" Dominic cheered, doing the disco (think 'YMCA'!). "Who's good? Oh, yeah baby, I am so good!" Then he caught sight of Voldemort. "Oh, crap!" he yelled, jumping three feet in the air, and took off in the direction of Hogwarts' bright lights.

Draco blinked. "Wow. That trip must have done a bad one on me because I'm seeing Voldemort sobbing pathetically into his robes, Scarface and Co. not doing anything about it, and Mandy and Pansy impersonating banshees."

"It's all true," Ginny told him. "Sadly."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Well, then, if you're not going to take advantage of this opportunity, I am. _Avada Kedavra!" _

OoOoOoO

A/N – WOW. That must have been the chapter with the most stupid humor in it! And for all you die-hard prophecy people out there, don't worry! Harry will still kill Voldie, and everything will end happily ever after!

Or will it?

DUN DUN DUN!

Also, snaps for everyone who have realized that Dominic and Draco's arrival on the Quidditch Pitch is a total mockery of Hogwarts, a History, because it's practically been stated in every HP book by Hermione that you can't Apparate to or from Hogwarts. Snaps for you!

The loves of my life – reviews!

wally4ever – The time when Draco called Hermione a Mudblood was practically the first time when he'd spoken to her directly. This was her first judgment of his character, and Hermione also realized that she was the one who'd said the things that made him snap and call her a Mudblood. Hope this makes more sense – I just practically plagiarized everything from Contra Veritas! (note: Contra Veritas, don't sue me. I have no money, anyways.)

blackXxXblossom – It's always the pompous ones…

luvHaru7 – Whoa. I can't even go near snakes before I get really freaked out and start telling everyone to, "Shut up, crap-face!" (I'm not very controlling of my nerves when I'm hear the word snake…)

SlytherinPrincess00 – You really don' want to know how I got that idea….IT'S JUST TOO SHOCKING!

Your Mom Is My Heart – It's here again!

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Argh, I can't believe how I keep on drawing out the Final Battle – I swear, it's probably going to take me three months and forty hours of writing!

me – Oho! Daphne will suffer…just you wait and see….MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

serpentine17ice – Mandy knew what the thing was because they all ran into each other in London (remember the scene at the beginning of Chapter 20?). Harry and Co. knew that Mandy had the thing because she told them and in their minds, there was only one thing that the thing could be. (Whoa, that last sentence sounded weird!) Also, Hermione's not that worried about Draco because she's got other things on her mind – like Harry's impending doom, Voldemort's scheduled arrival, etc. At that moment, Draco wasn't her greatest concern.

Thanks to Sam's Firefly, Natural-181, Andie, dragoneyes5000, Caligirl-HPLVR, School-of-Rock101, Wilhemina, and Hotkat144!

Your lazy and procrastinating author,

- Lily in a Pond


	23. Harry is Finally the Protagonist

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty Three

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is the least bit related to Harry Potter, so help me God, Amen, and good night to you all.

OoOoOoO

It was a dark and stormy night. Crowing ravens were flying over the Hogwarts, sending an ominous message to anyone who dared turn their eyes on it. The wind was whipping like a dagger into one's skin. And most of all, by the Quidditch Pitch, an ancient prophecy was being fulfilled.

Well, it was only a dark night, and there weren't any birds flying over Hogwarts. Also, the prophecy wasn't _that_ ancient. However, you could say that there was wind, as wind at the end of October in Scotland was to be expected.

"_Avada Kedavra!"_ Draco yelled. Everyone screamed as a rather light-colored jet of green light shot out of his wand and headed straight for Voldemort.

"I can't look!" Mandy screamed hysterically, while managing to give her middle and index fingers a respectful amount of distance away from each other.

As Hermione sucked in a deep breath, the green light suddenly vanished and she blinked many times to clear the little white spots.

"What the - ?"

Voldemort wasn't dead. In fact, his body only shook for a second like he had been shocked with electricity, and then he continued sobbing dramatically into his robes.

"Er, Malfoy?" Ron asked hesitantly. "Are you sure you cast the Killing Curse right?"

Malfoy whirled around, his face pink with embarrassment. "How many ways are there to cast it, Weasley?! And I'm sure I cast it right; I just don't know why it didn't work!"

"Well, it could've failed because you didn't put enough power in it," Hermione said, remembering what Moody had told them in fourth year. "It's either that, or you're weak," she finished, smirking.

Malfoy's normally pale face was bright red now. "Well, excuse me for not wanting to kill people!"

Everyone rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Come off it, Malfoy, you know you're just making up excuses to why you can't cast the Killing Curse," Harry jeered.

"Hey!" Malfoy shouted. "At least I _tried_ the Killing Curse! You didn't even try it!"

"That's a completely unrelated problem," Harry replied smoothly.

"You know, actually, that's a very important problem," Ginny said suddenly. "Why aren't you killing Voldemort? I seriously don't think that 'he's not getting a fair battle' is a good excuse. People like Voldemort deserve to die, regardless of whether they get killed in a fair fight."

Harry looked uncomfortable for a moment. "I can't answer that question, Gin. I can't."

"Why can't you?" Hermione pressed.

"I just can't," Harry said firmly.

Hermione stared at Harry for a long time, and then pulled out her wand. "Okay, Harry, lead us through the events of today through your own eyes."

As Draco, Ginny, and Ron shot her confused looks, she shushed them and turned back to Harry. "Go on, tell me."

"Well, I got up, showered, ate breakfast, did some Potions homework, polished my broom, went to de Vellofides' office, ran into McGonagall and had a very quick chat with her – "

"Wait!" Pansy cried. "You went to Professor de Vellofides' office?" Harry nodded. "Are you crazy?" she yelled. "That man is insane!"

"Er, I don't know. He seems nice to me."

"You think everyone that knew your parents is nice, Scarhead," Malfoy muttered. "You and Lupin were practically having a sordid love affair in third year."

Ginny blanched. "Continue, Harry."

"Anyways, I went to his office, went out of his office, ran into McGonagall, talked about this year's Quidditch plans with her – "

"No Quidditch?" Ginny and Ron yelled in unison.

"No, we're still having it. We're just going to reschedule the season a little; there's been some trouble lately at the Ministry and McGonagall thinks that a public school outing would be the perfect time for Voldemort to attack us."

"For once, that woman is only partially right," Hermione muttered.

"Anyways, so then I went to lunch, did some more homework, hexed Crabbe and Goyle – "

"Hey!" Malfoy interjected.

"Don't wet your prissy green-and-silver undies, Malfoy. I didn't do anything serious to your bodyguards. Yet," Harry added in an undertone. "So then I went back up to Gryffindor Tower, took a nap – "

"Oh! So that's why our room was locked!" Ron exclaimed. "We all thought you were, you know……you know!"

"What?"

"Okay, maybe you don't know…"

Harry looked perplexed. "What did you guys think I was doing in there?"

Ginny put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Harry, but your mind is just too innocent."

Malfoy raised his eyebrows. "Or, you could interpret that comment the other way; "Hi, I'm Ginny Weasley and all of you should participate in a contest to see who can find his way out of the perverted maze of perverted-ness in my perverted mind!" he said in a high-pitched voice.

Ginny shot Malfoy the Look.

"Anyways, let's just drop it," Hermione said loudly. The others noticed that her cheeks were rather red. "What else, Harry?"

"Well, I think that's all," he replied. "And then I woke up and went down to the lake with Luna – "

" – You did what?" Ginny snarled, showing off her proficiency to handle the Look.

"I went down to the lake with Luna," Harry repeated. Mandy leaned towards him.

"I think she means, 'Explain yourself, Harry James Potter, or I will personally decapitate you'."

"That pretty much sums it up," Ginny growled. "Now EXPLAIN!"

"Umm…can we do this another time, because I think someone wants to talk to us," Draco said, pointing to the shadowy figure striding down the hill.

"SNAPE?"

"Holy crap!" Pansy yelled.

"What the dickens?" Ron exclaimed.

"It's him…" Hermione muttered as she raised her eyebrows at Ron's remark.

"His hair's been washed!" Mandy cried. When everyone looked at her, she shrugged, "I notice random things."

"And completely useless things," Snape sneered, coming over to them. As Mandy rolled her eyes, Pansy shrugged.

"He's got a point, you know. Nobody really cares if someone's just washed their hair if the possibility of attack/death is rather high."

"Speaking of which, have any of you seen Blaise?" Mandy asked.

Hermione's eyebrow knitted together. "Why would be related to the possibility of attack/death?"

"Because he might've died," Mandy sighed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright…"

"Anyways, before I was so rudely cut in," Snape snapped, "I was going to tell you that I have an important mission to make."

"What are you going to do? Cut off that hair and throw it at us?" Harry jeered.

Pansy smirked. "Yeah, are you going to call for mummy to help you destroy us?"

"Are you going to throw all your Potions ingredients at us and hope that it makes a bomb?" Malfoy sniggered. Everyone looked at him.

"That's not funny," Ron frowned.

Draco rolled his eyes and gave him all ten fingers. "Aren't you supposed to be holed up in a shack somewhere, counting the five Sickles you have, Weasley?"

Pansy stared at him. "Calm down, you crazy bloke. Go to Woodstock," she muttered.

"You know, Pans, there's one thing I would really like to do before I die in my warm bed at Malfoy Manor," Draco started. "I would like to kill you!"

"Like that wasn't obvious," Ron whispered to Harry.

Draco looked thoughtful. "Also, I do want to know what Woodstock is."

Snape flicked a strand of hair out of his eyes in a rather feminine way. "As I was saying, I have come to inform you that – "

"Cut the crap and cut to the chase," Ginny snapped. Snape shook his head in disbelief.

"In my generation, children were never so disrespectful of their elders," he muttered.

"You know what people also did in your generation?" Harry asked brightly.

"I'm not sure I want to know…" Snape trailed off.

Harry ignored him. "In your generation, people didn't have extra perky shampoos and nose cleansers!"

Snape blinked. "What has gone into you today, Potter? You're acting…very…rude! Even considering your usual standards."

Ginny was looking at Mandy. "Er…Mandy's been rather quite for a long time now…d'you think we should check on her?"

"I can hear you, Weasley," Mandy muttered.

Pansy grimaced. "This isn't good; she only calls people by their surnames when she's really deep in thought. And whenever she's really deep in thought, bad things are revealed or bad things happen."

"Wait!" Draco suddenly cried out. "Mandy, at the Yule Ball, did you at any time during the evening go near the punch bowl and sit there for a long time, just thinking?"

Mandy looked up. "Yeah…but I don't think anything bad came out of that one – THE YULE BALL!" she gasped. "The Yule Ball! I had almost forgotten about it. The whole Cinderella thing was what came out of the Yule Ball!"

As she rambled on, Hermione slowly took small steps back and her eyes grew larger and larger until –

"Hermione! You were the one – " Mandy's voice trailed off as she realized that Draco was staring at her blankly. "Wait, does he know?"

"No," Hermione whispered. "I haven't told him yet…"

"Well, there is no better time than now!" Mandy exclaimed. "Do it!"

"Do what?" Draco said nervously.

"Ahem," Harry broke in. "Considering that our current companions are Voldemort, Snape, and a pack of ever-so emerging Dementors from above the forest, I would conclude that this is the worst possible time to say to someone that the girl he choose three years ago as his beloved wasn't the one and that _she_ really is. Oh, oops!" Harry covered his mouth and blinked innocently. "Slip of the tongue…"

"Harry!" Hermione shrieked. "How could you – !"

" – It's called 'thank you'. Besides, sooner or later, Malfoy will have to find out. And I think sooner is better because, let's face it, we formed our little LTEA group for a reason. It was to get you two together. We knew that you already loved each other secretly; we just wanted to push you two along. And most of all, we knew that you were the ones who'd probably survive through anything, hand in hand," Harry finished.

Pansy wiped a tear from her eyes. "That – that – was beautiful!" she choked out, sobbing into a little pink handkerchief.

Ginny looked between Hermione and Draco, who were now staring into each other's eyes. "Er…sorry to interrupt the little love session here, but Dementors are heading towards us, I think Voldemort's waking up, and Snape is….I think…throwing a hissy fit."

Ron winced. "Those three scenarios should really not be presented to us in one night."

"Agreed," Pansy, Harry, and Ginny said at the same time.

"So," Harry said, facing the group. "How 'bout the ones who can cast corporeal Patronuses head off the Dementors, I'll go knock out Voldemort again and join you guys later, and…just…just leave Snape there."

They nodded. As Hermione took a brave stance in front of the group, Harry pulled her back. "Oh, no, you're coming with me."

"Nepotism!" Pansy yelled as she replaced the place Hermione was previously at.

"What does that mean?" Ron asked.

"It means, 'Ronald, get a dictionary'," she replied, shooting white sparks at the direction of the forest. "Ha! You slimy bastards! Come and get me!"

"That's a _great_ thing to say to them. After all, it's not like it gives them more reasons to attack us," Ginny muttered under her breath. Pansy shot her a look and Ginny returned it, blinking innocently.

"By the way, Harry, this isn't nepotism, is it?" Ginny asked, turning to look at him. But Harry wasn't there.

In fact, he and Hermione had disappeared completely.

OoOoOoO

"Harry, where the hell are you taking me?" Hermione screamed as she desperately tried to wrench her fingers off his strange silvery ring, which she had never seen before.

As she landed with a thump onto a cold stone floor, she realized that the ring must've been a Portkey.

"Who are you? And where's Harry?" she cried, looking up at Harry.

"No, 'Mione, I'm Harry," he explained. "Nobody brainwashed me or anything of the sort. It's still me."

"Then tell where the hell I am," Hermione snarled, standing up. As the rush from jumping up too fast slowly faded, she noticed many versions of the letter 'M' carved into the walls.

"Wait," Hermione said slowly. "Is this Malfoy Manor?"

Harry shrugged and slumped down on one of the elaborately decorated chairs. "No idea."

"You're supposed to know where this is! You brought me here!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I didn't bring you here," Harry replied, looking puzzled. "All I wanted was to talk with you about that thing earlier, where I accidentally on purpose told Malfoy…you know what…" he finished, glancing nervously at the room. "The Burrow is practically crackling with magic on everything, and this house probably is the same. Who knows if the walls can really hear everything?"

"Oh," Hermione replied, contemplating this. "Yes, it might pick up some things that we don't want."

"So," Harry started casually. "How are your studies going?"

"Fine, fine, fine, fine!" Hermione replied in a sickly-sweet voice. "They're going extremely fine."

"Good! Mine are also," Harry said.

"Yes, that's good."

"Good."

"Yeah..."

"Okay…"

"Yeah."

OoOoOoO

Chaos was ensuing as everyone promptly lost their heads and began searching frantically for Harry and Hermione.

"SILENCE!" Ron roared, showering Mandy with spittle. "Now, all of us will turn our attention back to the major problem at hand, the Dementors," he said calmly. "After we have gotten rid of them, we can send out a search party to find Harry and Hermione. But for now, we'll just focus on one thing: the Dementors. And since I'm feeling rather dark and gloomy right now," he grimaced, "let's go kick some Dementor ass!"

And instead of the cheering and shouting this proclamation would've usually provoked, the others sluggishly raised their wands and shouted, "Expecto Patronus!"

Even though their Patronuses didn't stay for long, they kept on casting the spell over and over again. Finally, when the Dementors retreated, Ginny sighed.

"Yay."

"Well," Mandy started, poking at the grass. "That was a very…shall we put it, _low-key _battle."

"Extremely calm," Draco intoned.

Ron snapped a twig in half; nobody even twitched an eyebrow. "Parkinson and Malfoy, you guys stay here and keep on watching and looking for signs of…_weirdness. _Ginny, Mandy, and I will go look for Harry and Hermione."

"Oh, you're not going without me," Draco snapped. "I'm coming."

Ron looked peeved. "Alright, then Mandy, _you_ stay here with Pansy, while the Ferret tags along with us."

"Hmm…a Malfoy tagging along with the he-and-she Weasels…" Draco said mockingly. "For shame!"

"Two words, Malferret," Ginny whispered in what could only be interpreted as a be-afraid-be-very-afraid tone. "Bat bogey."

Draco gulped. "I see you're still in command of that hex…" he trailed off, nervously undoing his tie.

"Yes," Ginny snarled. "I am."

"That's good to know," Draco said nervously, looking around frantically for any means of protection.

As Ginny raised her wand, Ron whacked her arm out of the way. "Ginny! Will you please focus on the problem at hand?" he yelled.

"Malfoy is the problem!" Ginny shouted. "He's insulted our family for the last time!"

"Will you give it a rest, Weaslette, and stop being so bloody sensitive!" Pansy screeched. "Draco was only joking!"

"He's joking, my ass!" Ginny screamed. "Did you hear the tone of his voice?!"

"I heard it, and it's the tone he uses to tease people!" Mandy yelled, joining in. "Maybe if you knew him better, you would know that! But then again, Draco doesn't want to be friends with people like you!"

Ron took in a deep breath. "Now, that was over the line, Brocklehurst. You want a bitch-fight, you got one!"

As everyone started yelling and screaming at each other, nobody noticed a small figure creep out of the shadows, and silently enclose them in a circle of a shimmering band of black.

Then as quietly as she had come, she faded away into the shadows as the band of black light faded as well.

OoOoOoO

"Harry! Concentrate!" Hermione snapped. Harry jumped.

"What? Oh – yes – "

"If you don't want to help, then just say so. I've been trying to get out of this room for ages, but if you don't want to get out, it's fine with me," Hermione said peevishly.

"I'm tying to bust this door open; it's locked, but it can be opened," Harry mumbled, sluggishly bumping the door with his shoulder. "Okay, no go on the door."

"You didn't even try!" Hermione yelled. "Step back, and let a professional do this."

Harry laughed. "I really doubt that you, 'Mione, could – " his jaw dropped to the floor as the door banged open, and Hermione fell back with a pained but happy expression on her face.

"That hurt like all the kids at preschool jumping on you and tugging your hair, but it was worth it," she sighed happily. When Harry gave her a strange look, she laughed, "It never happened."

As he turned his back on her, she muttered, "Like I'm going to tell you my secrets here."

"Say something, Hermione?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing."

As Hermione tiptoed down the dark halls, she resisted an urge to shudder. The paintings on the walls did not have very prepossessing couples as their subjects. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy in particular looked gruesome; they looked like they were brother and sister.

"Hermione, this isn't a time to dilly-dally," Harry snapped, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the oil painting of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy in matching green robes.

"But look at this picture of the Malfoys!" Hermione exclaimed, dragging Harry back in front of the painting.

Harry made a face. "Now, that's just disgusting. They look like fraternal twins! God," he winced, "they could have at least worn different colored robes."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I bet when Draco and I go up on that wall, we'd look millions of billions better than them."

Harry's head whipped around. "What?"

"I said, when Draco and I go up – " Hermione suddenly balked, and her face immediately turned a frightening shade of wax. "Oh, no, oh, no," she repeated over and over again, covering her dace with her hands. _"Oh no!" _

"What's so bad about marrying Malfoy? Harry asked. "I mean, I wouldn't like it because he's a guy and I'm a guy and…all that…stuff…but you're a girl who's very much in love with him. Marry him for we care, because in this century, people actually marry for love."

Hermione lifted her face and scowled at him. "No, it's not that, you great git," she snapped. "I know that I love him, but does he love me? _No_," she finished, placing emphasis on the last word.

"Of course he loves you, 'Mione!" Harry exclaimed loudly and the picture of Abraxas Malfoy rose from his slumber, gave him the finger, and went back to sleep.

Harry lowered his voice. "Of course he loves you," he repeated. "Can't you see it in his eyes?"

Hermione thought about this. "No."

Harry internally sighed. "Well, he does. He cares about you, Hermione. He cares a lot."

"But is caring the same thing as love?" Hermione demanded. "I mean, sure, he cares about me, but he's not going to going to cause the English Channel to overflow when I die, will he?"

"I would prefer to stay off the topic of death," said Harry, "tonight isn't the best night to discuss this, considering that Voldemort is already there for our scheduled battle, but I'm not. Of course, he's crying, but when he stops, he'll wonder where I am, and when he finds me, he'll kill me."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Yeah…okay…I'm going to go see if I can find a crystal ball or anything in one of the rooms. I know that Divination is stupid, but I have no choices right now and I need answers. And for once, the library cannot help me with this problem!"

"Well, I suppose the girly magazine section of the library might…" Harry trailed off.

"And how do you know this?" Hermione asked him suspiciously, barging into a room labeled "Draco Malfoy".

"I…er…read some editions of Teen Witch and Witch Weekly," Harry admitted quietly, following her in. When Hermione started laughing her head off, he protested, "Ginny has a stack sitting on her bedside table! I just started thumbing through them!"

As Hermione sat down to control her laughter, she squealed suddenly. "A Magic 8 Ball!"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Why would Malfoy have a Magic 8 Ball in his house?"

Hermione shrugged. "His parents look related. The Magic 8 Ball is _nothing_ compared to that."

Harry nodded. "Good point."

"So," Hermione shook the ball. She took a deep breath. "Does Draco Malfoy love me?"

"I still can't believe that you're letting a_ Magic 8 Ball_ do this," Harry muttered. Hermione shushed him as she turned it over and closed her eyes tightly. Then she opened her eyes and peered into it.

But at the last second, she pulled away and practically threw it at Harry. "You look! I can't do this!"

"Looks like Trelawney was right again. You really aren't suited for Divination," Harry muttered. "God knows how much you would flip out when making actual predictions with magical instruments."

Hermione pushed him off the bed. "Oh, just give it to me, already!" she snapped. Her face contorted in fury and confusion as she threw the ball across the room. "ASK AGAIN LATER?" she screeched. "What the hell are you playing at?" she screamed, catching the ball on the rebound and throwing it again."

Harry slowly backed away. "I'm beginning to have a very different opinion about women and it's not a very nice one."

As Hermione turned burning eyes on him, Harry gulped. "You know what? Now would be a good time to 'ask again later'."

Hermione snatched up the Magic 8 Ball and started shaking it furiously. "You better give me a direct answer this time," she snarled. She tossed it to Harry. "Catch!"

Harry turned it over nervously. As he took a deep breath, Hermione stepped closer to him and snapped, _"Well? _And if it says something vague again, I'm going to kill _you!" _

Harry gulped and looked. Then his eyes shot open.

"Ask again later."

OoOoOoO

A/N – I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long to get out! I've been really busy with school and extracurriculars and I got a great case of writer's block in the beginning of this chapter, which I just realized is a sucky excuse for procrastination and laziness.

But since I'm on winter break now, the next chapter probably won't have such an elongated wait.

My wonderful reviews that have keep me going through the night! (Well, just the afternoons; at nights I'm busy eating.)

Sam's Firefly – Thanks for replying to my email. And if you look really closely, your character is actually in this chapter, albeit "dark" and "shadowy". However, she'll have a big part in the next chapter. Two words: "Armageddon", and "students".

StormMasters – Thank you! And you're right, it's "HIM."

Bethy Ann – Thanks! And sadly, I have no gross and heart-wrenching writing skills, so humor is the only thing I have. Add that to my personality, and you've got a female version of Chandler Bing.

superelle – I LOVED writing Shakesperean Ernie…hmm…maybe I should make him sputter more poetic lyrics about love. Also, Blaise is another character that I love! I love all the characters that JK hasn't elaborated on for personality. And yes, I procrastinate a lot. This chapter was a very obvious example of it, and also, laziness AKA get-off-your-butt-itis. I wonder if they have pills for this…

Tamaska of the Fallen – Wow…this is…surreal…

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – OMG, I remember you from the very first chapters!!! Thank you so much for this review and thank you even more for staying with this story all these years! (well, technically, it's only been one year, but whatever) Thank you thank you thank you! (goes off crying in a corner)

dragoneyes5000 – I remember you too!!! (see above) OMG, this is such a weird reunion…

luvHaru7 – And you! (see above above) God, what is the weather doing to me….

goosyjuicylucy – Probably something to do with the questioning of his sexuality. But since I'm not that evil…HEHEHE…I probably would've done something like, "Harry's been replacing Snape's greasing ointment with frog spawn!"

me – Excellent! I like that thinking!

GoDeSs-Of-LiOnEsSeS – I'm not even going to tell you how much sadness and reflection this is causing me…see above above, above above.

Additional thanks to Andie, dramione4ever, madscott, BGforever, Hotkat144, baby kisses (even the melting snowflake was better than this…), Natural-181, Your Mom Is My Heart, potc-and-hpfan, Lina, School-Of-Rock101, lyssa-kissa, avidreader07, and jPoPlUVr789!

**By the way, any takers on the "I'm-not-going-to-attack-Voldemort-because-it's-wrong" thing? **

See you (hopefully!) in a week!

- Lily in a Pond


	24. Cracking a Cracked Up Crack Job Code

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Four

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I'm too tired to think of a funny disclaimer, and besides, I already have twenty-three perfectly good ones. So, choose from those.

OoOoOoO

"Ouch, Malfoy, you're stepping on my toe!"

"News flash, Weaslette. You're stepping on _my _toe."

"Will the both of you just shut up? I'm trying to find my wand!"

"You didn't bring a wand, Ron."

"Well, that explains the uncanny absence of a wooden stick…"

"_Lumos!" _

Ron blinked in the sudden light and then scowled. "Why didn't you do this earlier, Malfoy, when you knew that I was looking for my wand?"

"Because this was more amusing," Draco answered, with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

Ginny whacked him on the arm. "Do you not understand the complexities of this situation? Harry and Hermione are missing, Malfoy! Missing! We don't have any clues to where they could be!"

"Well, does this weird shining black thing around my arm count as a clue?"

Ginny whipped out a magnifying glass. "Don't ask," she muttered. "I have the same thing on my arm!"

"What is it?" Ron asked, peering at his own arm.

"It looks like a map of sorts," Ginny replied, squinting. "Ooh! A treasure map that tells you where Harry and Hermione are!"

"Open your eyes," Draco snapped. "It's numbers."

Ron scoffed. "Please! I pride myself on my perfect vision!"

"I'm sure that's the only thing worthy of pride for you," Draco muttered. "Anyways, the numbers are 'E1 R2 O6 R2 E3 E3 S4 O2 R3 E1 S5 E5 O5 R1 R3 E5 S4 O5'."

Ron and Ginny stared blankly at him, as if expecting him to suddenly sprout elephant ears and a tusk.

"I don't get it," Ginny said after a long, drawn-out silence.

Draco made a noise of annoyance. "Don't you see? This is a series of numbers and letters that are grouped together for a reason! They obviously spell out something!"

Ginny furrowed her brow. "So, what do they spell out?"

"Probably something horrific, if not, then perverted," Ron muttered. "Anyways, I'm going to check on Pansy and Mandy's lookout station; make sure they're not slacking on the job. I'm going to be gone for only five minutes, so don't try anything funny, Malfoy."

Draco paid no attention to him. Instead, he was mumbling things and tapping his arm with his finger, forehead creased in thought. After a few moments had passed,

"Well, I've still got a bunch of letters and numbers." As Ginny groaned, he put up a finger. "But, I saw that the letters in the combination could spell either 'eros' or 'rose'. Of course, it could spell 'sore' and 'ores', but I think that rose and eros are more possible choices. Now we just have to figure out which one it means, and we'll get this thing cracked."

Ginny stared at him in wonder. "Thank god I didn't take Arithmancy, this stuff alone is killing me."

Draco smirked. "Well, some people have less developed minds than mine."

Ginny scoffed and Draco smirked.

"What a great argument! Exhaling!"

"I'm back!" Ron called. "Have you guys killed each other yet?"

"Yes," Draco and Ginny replied at the same time.

Ron shook his head and he examined the group of numbers and letters.

"You have two possible choices," Draco intoned. "Eros or rose?"

Ron contemplated this. "I think it's 'rose'."

"Why rose? I think it's 'eros'," Draco contradicted.

"Well, tell me your reason and I'll tell you mine."

"I think it's eros because the letters and numbers spell out a place. And what place do we need to find out now? Where Hermione and Potter are. Since we all love and care for them, eros would be more likely than rose," Draco concluded, shifting backwards and smirking.

"That's a tough argument to beat," Ginny whispered to Ron. Ron ignored her.

"It has to be rose because that's Hermione's favorite flower. Besides, who would create a secret message using the word 'eros'? Most people don't even know who Eros was."

Draco rolled his eyes. "If _you_ know who Eros was, then a significant amount of people should know, too."

Ron stomped his foot on the ground. "I'm telling you, it's rose!"

"Eros!"

"Rose!"

"Eros!"

Ginny threw up her hands. "Would you two please stop it? Did any of you think about the possibility that this thing was planted on our arms to distract us from finding Harry and Hermione?"

Draco blinked. "Well, that _is_ a possibility. But still, who would go to all this trouble to make up a secret message with a codeword and not even use it?"

"People who are very cunning and want to throw you off track!" Ginny yelled. "Now, if you please, put this aside for now and let's do a mass Point Me spell."

Ron sighed. "I suppose that sounds alright."

"_Point Me!"_ Three voices shouted simultaneously.

"Well, I guess we're heading north," Ginny observed, placing her wand back in her pocket. "C'mon, let's go."

OoOoOoO

"Hermione, I know you're bummed out, but you don't have to empty out the Malfoy supply of ice cream," Harry said, watching Hermione stick her head in a large tub of strawberry ice cream.

Hermione looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy. "I have to! The 'ask again laters' were just a sign that he doesn't love me!"

Harry sighed. "For the last time, Malfoy loves you, okay? You've just got to believe in it, and the next thing you know, he'll be saying it to your face!"

"No!" Hermione snapped, lobbing a spoonful of ice cream at Harry. "I have loved Draco Malfoy for three years, Harry! If he doesn't love me now, when is he going to, if ever?"

Harry was silent for a moment. "See?" Hermione wailed. "You don't know how to answer to that! And if _you_ don't know the answer, _I _definitely don't!"

Harry shook his head. "No, I was just thinking. Hermione, are you pregnant?"

Hermione's spoon landed on the floor with a resonating clatter. "WHAT?"

"I'm just saying, I mean, you seem really moody, and your emotions are all over the place. Plus, you're eating a lot of ice cream. Pregnant women eat a lot of ice cream."

Hermione blanched. "Harry, I'm not pregnant, I'm just burdened with a problem right now. Trust me, you've never been faced and you'll never be faced with this kind of problem. You're going to marry Ginny, go on a three-year honeymoon around the world, and when you get back, you're finally going to get the big family you've wanted, with five perfect kids that all play Quidditch and excel at Defense Against the Dark Arts!" she snapped bitterly. "Me? I fell in love with my worst enemy, who didn't even acknowledge me as a human being until this year!"

Again, Harry was silent. The sound of a spoon scraping against the bottom of the container pierced the silence.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you I used to practice kissing with Uncle Vernon's old socks?"

Hermione stared at him in sheer horror. "NO!"

OoOoOoO

Pansy tapped Mandy on the shoulder. "Hey, Mandy, can I ask you something?"

Mandy shrugged. "I'm not going to bother stating the obvious, but sure."

"Do you have a black band thing on your arm that seems to glow a bit in the moonlight?"

Mandy looked at her arm. "No."

"What?" a high-pitched voice squawked from behind them. Instantly, Mandy and Pansy were on their feet, wands pointed at different directions.

"_Persona Revelio!" _Pansy whispered and a beam of blue light illuminated the shadow of a small, skinny girl who was lurking behind a willow tree.

Mandy's jaw dropped. "Jenna Marie Rose?" she yelled. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

Pansy's head turned so fast, at least two bones cracked. "You know her?"

"I used to tutor her in Transfiguration," Mandy explained. "Hey," she directed at Jenna Marie. "What are you doing out here, you little stalker?" she ruffled the girl's hair affectionately.

"I'm not stalking you guys!"

Pansy's eyes narrowed. "Why do you have binoculars around your neck, then?"

"I'm bird watching," Jenna Marie said after a silence.

"At night?"

"Yes, the lighting is very good for watching aerial projections fly around in the…er…illumination of the moon."

Mandy rolled her eyes. "I don't care why you're here, just get back to the castle. This place is dangerous for someone like you."

Jenna Marie wasn't listening. "Professor Snape?" she shrieked, noticing the sallow-skinned professor for the first time.

"Yeah, he's doing some thinking over there on that rock," Pansy explained.

"What kind of thinking?" she asked curiously.

"Don't have any idea; probably a cross between elephants guts……and Armageddon."

"It's probably the first one," Mandy grinned. "Anyways, you better go back to the castle," Mandy said, shooing Jenna Marie away. "We don't want Hogwarts students getting killed tonight."

"Yeah? Well, I want to get killed!" Jenna Marie exclaimed. "And there's nothing you can do to stop from me going dead!" Mandy stared at her. "I know that doesn't make sense and is wrong grammatically, but who cares? I like potatoes!" she screamed before taking off in the direction of Hogwarts.

"Wait! We still haven't asked her why she reacted that way when you said you didn't have a shining black band on your arm!" Pansy cried.

Mandy waved her hand in the air. "It's okay. She's just a little fifteen-year-old girl. What harm could she do?"

Pansy stared at the retreating shadow of Jenna Marie Rose. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

OoOoOoO

"Hey, Hermione, I'm going to try to connect with a Hogwarts fireplace," Harry called, sticking his head out of the fireplace. Hermione nodded in reply.

"Okay, now, if I wanted to connect with a fireplace in the Hogsmeade area, I would wait thirty-five seconds," Harry said to himself as he skimmed over a Europe Floo Destination Packet lying on top of the mantle. "So, if I wanted to go to a place remotely east of Hogsmeade, I would wait thirty-four-point-nine seconds. Hmm…oi, Hermione, can you double-check this for me? I never really excelled with numbers and graph plottings…fireplace plottings…things…"

Hermione sighed and carried her cup of coffee over to the fireplace. "Wait thirty-four-point-seven seconds," she said after a few seconds. "Thirty-four-point-nine seconds would've connected you with a random fireplace in Matilda Castle."

"Oh, thanks."

As Harry resumed fiddling with the fireplace, Hermione absentmindedly thumbed through a book. "Hey," she said, struck by a sudden thought. "Doesn't it strike you as odd that we're in Malfoy Manor and we're not scared to death or anything?"

Harry looked up. "Well…we're a bit bored, so I suppose our actions_ could_ be justified."

"Harry, we ate their ice cream, we used their Magic 8 Ball, we're using their fireplace and Floo, and now I'm reading their book, which, by the way, is rather an interesting perspective on purebloods," Hermione finished, smiling wryly.

Harry smiled. "Well, then, keep on reading it, and I'll keep on trying to Floo someone."

Hermione shrugged and immersed herself in the book again.

While happily skimming through chapter four (Pureblooded Marriages), Hermione heard a scuffling in the fireplace.

"What the – ?!"

"Ouch, what the hell is this?"

"Get off my back, Ron!"

"You get off my leg first!"

"Harry…" Hermione said slowly, closing her book. "Why do those voices sound like Draco, Ginny, and Ron?"

"That's because they are Draco, Ginny, and Ron," Harry answered calmly, pointing at the green-and-silver Slytherin tie and Chudley Cannon sock that was swinging at the edge of the flames.

"Draco? Ron? Ginny?" Hermione called. "If you can hear me, then just stay calm; Harry and I will explode this fireplace or something."

"Hermione? What are you doing at Malfoy Manor?" Draco's voice, slightly muffled, came through the brick walls of the fireplace.

"What are _you _doing at Malfoy Manor?" Harry retorted. Then he blinked. "Never mind."

"Oh, by the way, please don't explode the fireplace. My grandfather hid some dynamite up here and if you explode the fireplace, there'll be a very high chance of us dying…" Draco's nervous voice trailed off.

"Well, then should we pull you out?" Harry asked, coming closer to the fire and immediately jumping back with a yelp as one of the flames danced onto his arm.

Ginny suddenly groaned. "Why did we all Floo in at the same time?"

"Speaking of which, the fire that Malfoy conjured is illegal!" Ron shouted. "He replaced some woman named Mrs. Figg's fireplace with the one he made on the Hogwarts grounds and connected that one to the Floo Network. So he's a felon!" Ron's voice sounded gleeful. "We can turn him in at the Ministry when we get back!"

"Might I remind you that you also used the illegal fire?" Draco asked, with just a hint of warning in his voice. "So, unless you want to be my father's next-cell neighbor, don't even think about it."

Hermione suddenly chuckled. "Next-cell neighbor. You're funny, Draco!" As Harry looked at her in surprise, she continued. "You know what else is funny? You have a Magic 8 Ball! Now that's really the icing on top of the cake!" Hermione wheezed out.

"How did you know I have a Magic 8 Ball?"

"It was lying on your shelf, Malfoy, for the whole world to see," Harry sighed.

"Shut up, Pothead."

"Hey, you want to know something else that is just_ hil-ar-io-us_?" Hermione laughed. "I actually asked the Magic 8 Ball if you loved me! And I did it more than once! Now, is that funny or funny?"

There was suddenly silence in the room. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the flames from the fireplaces dancing merrily, crackling on the stone floor.

"You what?"

As Hermione opened her mouth, there was a crash, and Draco, Ron, and Ginny, all covered with soot and dust, fell out and landed on top of each other.

Draco quickly jumped to his feet and smoothed down his shirt. "Er…would you mind repeating that again?"

OoOoOoO

Severus Snape was having the time of his life explaining to Pansy Parkinson and Mandy Brocklehurst about the glowing black band that was wrapped around Pansy's arm.

"You see," he smirked smugly. "This band obviously is made of numbers and letters, a secret code of sorts which, if properly cracked, will spell out a person, place, or thing."

"Really? Bestow upon us more of your intelligence," Mandy said sarcastically.

Snape ignored her. "The letters R, S, E, and O are used commonly through this code. Therefore, I can assume that the creator of this used a word that can be made up of those letters as a grid for the alphabet."

"Do solve more mysteries, Sherlock," Pansy muttered, wrenching her arm away from Snape's grasp.

"So, we just need to pair up the letters R, S, E, and O to the alphabet?" Mandy asked.

"I think that you should use either 'rose' or 'eros', as those two seem most likely."

"Rose!" Pansy suddenly cried out. "Jenna Marie _Rose!" _

Mandy shook her head. "It has to be a coincidence, no fifth year could pull a spell like this off."

"This was why many wars were lost!" Pansy yelled at Mandy. "They underestimated their opponent! You know Jenna Marie Rose, but do you really know the extent of her power?"

Mandy was quiet for a moment. "Well…I suppose we could try it…"

Snape picked up a twig and wrote the letters of the alphabet on the ground. "Okay, let's match 'em up."

Mandy and Pansy looked at each other. "Snape just said 'em', right?" Mandy whispered.

"I think he did," Pansy whispered back and Mandy shuddered.

"Alright, now we have,

'A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O'

or we could use 'eros', and have,

'A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

'E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R'

"That looks bloody amazing on the ground, but does it really mean something?" Mandy asked, rubbing her temples.

Snape shrugged. "Fill in the blanks, and we'll see."

OoOoOoO

Hermione was at a loss for words. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.

Draco was still staring at her. Everyone else was staring at them, wondering what was going to happen next.

"I……I…….I have to go somewhere," Hermione whispered before she sprinted out of the room.

Draco instantly ran after her. "Hermione, wait!"

As Ron let out a huge breath, Harry and Ginny slumped on the couch.

"This is so unexpected," Ginny muttered.

Harry nodded. "She was asking the Magic 8 Ball if Malfoy loved her, and it kept on saying 'ask again later', which I now realize is useless to talk to you about, because you have no idea what a Magic 8 Ball is…" he trailed off.

"I hope Malfoy doesn't break Hermione's heart and say that he doesn't love her," Ron growled darkly. "Because if he is, he's going to be on Ron's List of Deceased People."

Ginny looked at him strangely. "Isn't Malfoy already on there?"

Ron blinked. "Good point." As more silence ensued, Ginny suddenly noticed who was sitting with her on the couch.

"Harry! You're here!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Hooray! We found you and 'Mione!"

Ron sighed. "But now we have another dilemma, Hermione and Malfoy."

"Argh!" Harry suddenly yelled. When Ron and Ginny stared at him, he threw up his hands. "Didn't you hear it? _Hermione Malfoy_!"

Ron stared at Harry. "I said Hermione _and_ Malfoy."

Ginny sat up. "No offense to 'Mione, but Hermione Malfoy sounds horrible." As Harry and Ron nodded fervently, she continued. "Even Hermione Goyle sounds better!"

Harry blinked. "Well, that's taking it a little too far, Gin-Gin." He suddenly yelped as Ginny threw two pillows at him. "What was that for?"

Ginny smirked. "I told to never call me Gin-Gin. And since you just did, you shall suffer the Incredible Red Hulk's wrath!"

As she bombarded Harry with more pillows, Ron sighed and absentmindedly reached for a cookie on the table. "God, this place is so equipped for visitors…"

Meanwhile……

"Hermione, you can't run away from me forever! I've lived here all my life and I know this house better than you know Hogwarts, a History!" Draco yelled as he chased the mane of bushy brown hair down a drafty corridor.

"Slow down, young Malfoy!" a portrait of a blond-haired man wearing a dragon suit called.

"Can't, Uncle Culpaes!" Draco threw over his shoulder as he nearly dodged a swinging door. "This is a matter of life or death!"

"Oh, damn," he swore, as he came to a dead end. "Now where'd she go?" Then he remembered a secret passage behind one of the portraits and quickly opened it.

As he disappeared behind the portrait, the air near a trophy cup moved and said, "Thank god for Disillusionment Charms."

Hermione took out her wand and whispered the counter-curse. However, nothing happened.

"Oh, no……"

OoOoOoO

"Aha!" Mandy cried. "I've got 'de Vellofides'!"

"Well, I've got nothing with eros," Pansy sighed. "And I knew that man was trouble!" she smirked triumphantly. "So, was that it?"

"No, it looks like I still have one more word to go," Mandy said cheerfully. As she started to say something else, her words were drowned out by the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Mandy? What's that noise?" Pansy asked nervously.

"Get back!" Snape hissed. "This could be an army of Death Eaters."

"Actually, all Irish Death Eaters are at home, celebrating some Catholic holiday," Mandy stated.

"How do _you _know that?" Snape asked carefully.

"At least it was a few years back, and Professor Snapey-poo, _infiltration_."

Snape muttered something that didn't sound very PG-13 under his breath and whipped his wand out. "Stand back; I'll take care of this."

Pansy suddenly giggled. "Actually, I don't think you will." She pointed to the approaching figures. "It's Hogwarts students holding a demonstration march!"

"At night?" Snape screeched.

Pansy shrugged. "It seems so."

At the front moving block of black-robed students were Jenna Marie Rose, Diana Greengrass, Bri Leonard, Dominic Cortes, and Melody Brocklehurst.

Mandy took a tissue out. "This is just making me cry, seeing my cousin and her friends following in my footsteps!" she bawled.

"Hey, isn't the black-haired guy the Head Pervert of Gryffindor?" Pansy asked, pointing to Dominic Cortes. Dominic shot a nasty glare in her direction.

Mandy stopped crying. "I think you're right…………wait……..what?! Bri Leonard is actually leading this, too?! Oh, my……."

"Look at what's written on the posters," Pansy gigged.

'We're Pleading for Participation!' was one of the more catchy ones, 'Cash in with the Charms Conspiracy Cause!' was another one. 'Fight, Die, and Fight Again!' was a more humorous one, accompanied by a descriptive drawing of a battle scene. And 'Kill You-Know-Who, and we won't lose!' was just one of many war slogans.

"This is amazing," Mandy breathed. "All my life I've dreamed of this. But there was always something in the way. But tonight, I'm not going to let that affect me! If living vicariously makes me happy, then so be it!" she declared as she ran towards the crowd.

Pansy looked at Snape. "I'm going with her. See you later," she smirked.

Snape frowned. "I've gotten so used to being around people, I don't like being alone, anymore," he mumbled. "Oh, well. I might as well sit on this rock and do more thinking about Armageddon."

OoOoOoO

"Draco!" Hermione yelled, seeing the flash of blond hair. Draco stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned around.

"……Hermione?" he asked incredulously. "Where are you?"

"I'm invisible," Hermione said miserably.

Draco looked confused. "Well, then, take off the Invisibility Cloak."

"I can't. I put a Disillusionment Charm on myself, but it somehow screwed up because the counter-curse doesn't work."

Draco's hands were moving around all over the place; one of his arms nearly whacked Hermione in the face. She lightly tapped his shoulder.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Draco screamed jumping about a foot in the air. "I mean," he gasped out, "You…"

Hermione giggled. "I like your laugh," Draco suddenly said. Then blushed. "Keep on laughing, and let's pretend your laugh drowned out that last comment."

Hermione pinched his arm. "Ow! What'd you do that for?" Draco yelled.

"Nothing."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Even though I can't see you, I can see you if I close my eyes and imagine a Hermione in front of me."

"Actually, she's in back of you."

"Technicality!"

"Hey, do you realize that this is the first time we've ever been alone in a room together?" Hermione asked.

Draco looked amazed. "It's so strange. We've spent seven years at Hogwarts together, yet we've never actually been alone."

"Maybe it's Malfoy Manor's magical powers!" Hermione grinned. "Your house could be enchanted so that people come out with engagement rings on! Or – "

" – Hey, there's my carrot!" Draco exclaimed, pointing to a small carrot that was lying on top of a cabinet.

"I never thought you were a carrot person."

"Well, when carrots taste like apple, I like them."

"That's funny, because the time you gave me a carrot to eat, I tasted apple. Maybe it's a special breed – "

"You tasted WHAT?"

"Apple. Didn't you hear me that day?"

Draco nearly fainted. "No…"

"Well, I did."

"That means you're my true love!" Draco managed out after a long silence.

"I am?" And before Draco could say anything, Hermione shrieked a banshee scream. "YES!" she screamed, punching the air. "Take that, Magic 8 Ball!"

OoOoOoO

A/N – A belated Christmas present to you guys!

I'm sick of complimenting you guys...jk, my WONDERFUL reviews!

The Melting Snowflake - The Melting Snowflake sounds very funny in my mind...I have no idea why. I keep on getting this image of a snowflake going near a fire and it's like, "NOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M MELTING!" Anyways, how was it confusing? Like, what parts?

luvHaru7 - Great guess...but all will be revealed in the next chapter as the gang uncover who is the traitor and who is the ally. (that sounds quite a bit like a suspense novel...) And no, I'm not kicking, but I'm sitting!

1rosebyanyothername - Voldemort's has some very traumatic incidents when he was younger. By the laws of psychiatry, the aftereffects show up in middle-age-hood. Which means that Voldemort _might've_ been a bully hiding behind insults when he was younger..cough cough. Now, he's hiding behind the Quibbler.

WinnieThaPoo92 - Thank you! And being funny is all I have, since I neither have the seriousness or looks to make a path for myself. Ehh...this story is still pretty cliche. Well, actually, everything in fanfiction is cliche because every writer has to get at least one idea from someone else.

Sam's Firefly - She is! And she's smarter than she looks, to give them a code and lead a protest! Congratulations for making up a decisively evil, albeit small and skinny character! By the way, I sent you an email about Jenna Marie Rose's name, but I don't think you got it since email thing isn't working too good for me.

serpentine17ice - Ooh, that's actually something that I haven't thought about! But no, it was Jenna Marie Rose, who makes a cameo in this chapter. But you know this already, so...yeah...

Additional thanks to me, Your Mom Is My Heart, HotKat144, Brittany, superelle, Purple Potion, lyssa-kissa, White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, and School-of-Rock101 (I reviewed!)

Please review!

- Lily in a Pond


	25. The Storm Approaching

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Five

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I'll own HP when pigs fly...oh, look at that, pigs in one of my previous chapters have flown! I now own HP!

OoOoOoO

Trickles of rain were starting to pour down the polished glass windows of Malfoy Manor. Inside the main living room, three blurry figures, two with red hair, and one with black, could be seen.

Harry took his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What do you think Hermione and Malfoy are doing right now?"

Ron glanced at him. "Well, I could think of many things they could doing…including themselves…ouch!" He rubbed his arm and frowned at Ginny. "You know, not every perverted thought demands punishment. You probably think the same things about Harry!"

Ginny flushed. "I am not answering that."

Ron rolled his eyes, and slumped down on the couch. "Really...you can't even convince a blind and deaf person with that answer."

"I'm bored," Ginny said abruptly, changing the subject.

"We all are," Harry and Ron answered in unison. A moment later, Ron's eyes spotted a marble chessboard on an intricately decorated table, and he immediately jumped up from the prone position he was in.

"Let's play chess!"

Harry shook his head. "I'm not playing; I've lost to you so many times, I can't even remember what winning feels like."

Ginny smirked and started setting up the pieces. "Well, since _I_ can remember what winning feels like, I guess _I'm_ playing you, Ronniekins. You better watch out, because not only am I going to kick your arse, I'm _good_."

"Are you gooder than me?" Ron challenged, not even bothering to correct his grammar.

"Oh, you bet I'm gooder than you! I am so much gooder than you, I'm the goodest!"

"Hermione would die hearing this," Harry murmured.

Ginny blushed. "I am the best, Ronald, and you are the second best! I shall triumph over you and give you the trouncing of your life!" Ginny cackled. Harry stared at her, and she cleared her throat. "So, you're going to be trounced, and by a girl who's younger than you!" she teased.

Ron raised his eyebrows. "Big talk. But can you walk the walk?"

Ginny opened her mouth, but Harry interrupted her. "Will you two give it a rest? I'm getting bored of listening to you insulting each other and doing your little "showdown" thing," Harry mimicked in a childish voice. "Get on with the game; I want to see some marble arse get pummeled!"

"Right on!" Ron cheered. "Prepare to die, Ginny!" he screamed as he very, very, very slowly put his hand on a pawn.

Ginny stared at him. "_I'm_ white."

Ron slowly removed his hand from his black pawn. "...I knew that."

OoOoOoO

As Pansy and Mandy surveyed the expanse of the Lake, Mandy involuntarily shivered.

"I'm going to go up to the castle. This place is just too cold at night."

Pansy stared at her. "There are probably a million Death Eaters in that castle right now. You're going to risk your life for a stupid coat!?"

"No," Mandy said defensively. "…I'm going risk it for a cloak."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "You are not going up there, Mandy Brocklehurst. If anyone's going to die today, it better be Voldemort."

Mandy sighed. "I'll just conjure up a fire, then…"

Pansy sucked in her cheeks and took a deep breath. "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?" she screamed.

"Because it's fun to play with your mind," Mandy smirked. Pansy scowled.

"Har-har, it's _so_ funny," she replied sarcastically.

"Come on, lighten up, Pansy."

"That's my point! I CAN'T LIGHTEN UP NOW!"

Mandy stared at Pansy. "I think you need to lighten up a lot."

Pansy sighed in frustration. "Why can't you take things seriously? You always have to stick a joke, or a funny insult somewhere. I don't know if it's in your character or something, but can't you just for one minute stop the humor and be serious! No wonder you get along so well with Blaise; you two are so busy making each other laugh, you don't even notice the people around you whispering and talking."

Mandy stood up and glowered at Pansy. "Insulting me is fine, Parkinson," she spat out, "but insulting Blaise is going over the line. Maybe if you stopped being a bitch, you would notice that everyone around you is sick of your dramatics!"

"If I'm a bitch, then you wouldn't mind me saying this about you: Mandy Brocklehurst, you are such a – "

" – Well, well, what's going here, hmm? A catfight? I must say, I'm not surprised it has come down to you and Miss Brocklehurst, Miss Parkinson," Snape sneered, immediately casting a gloomy, dark shadow over the girls.

"Stay out of this, Snape. It doesn't concern you," Mandy growled. "So what were you saying, Parkinson?"

Snape shook his head and sat down on a rock. "The very second I leave this wretched school, the students lose all respect for me…"

"We never had _any _respect for you!" Mandy and Pansy bellowed at the same time.

Snape twitched. "Am I to believe that none of my students had the tiniest smidgen of respect for me?"

Pansy and Mandy looked at each other. "Well……_yes_."

Snape half-smiled. "Well, speak of the devil…looks like you two just agreed on something…might I suggest reconciliation and counseling?"

Mandy's left arm gave a violent shudder. "I AM NOT A PSYCHO!" she yelled. "MAYBE THE (words omitted) NEXT TO ME IS, BUT I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!"

Pansy pushed Mandy aside. "The psycho is the one who's yelling her head off!"

Snape massaged his temples. "This is the last time I try being a mediator."

Pansy glared at Mandy. "This is not over," she spat out before stalking off into the woods.

Mandy turned her back and glared at Snape. "Well? Anything you want to comment on?"

Snape shrugged. "I'm not interesting in the childish affairs of two little girls who are acting extremely immature and PMS-y."

"Funny, you seemed rather interested in it a few moments ago."

Snape looked at her. "When you lose a good friend, it is a greater defeat than one thousand battles lost." And with that, he stood up and walked towards the woods where Pansy was.

Mandy sat down on the rock Snape had recently vacated. "Well, _I'm_ not going to apologize first…"

OoOoOoO

Even though Draco cuoldn't see her, he could practically feel the smile radiating off Hermione's face. "I'm your true love!" she shrieked.

Draco backed away until he was flat against the wall. "I…I…I…" he stammered.

"You love me!" Hermione crowed. "You love me, Draco Malfoy!"

Draco looked desperately around the room for an escape passage; however, it was no use because Hermione could be anywhere in the room. "Well…not exactly…"

"The magical carrot does not lie!" Hermione shrieked. "You love me!"

"Er…well, perhaps…"

Hermione pushed Draco up against the wall. "Stop it," she said forcefully, but confidently. "Stop going into denial. You _know_ you love me."

A light bulb suddenly appeared above Draco's head. "And why do you care? Do _you_ love _me_…?" he asked slyly. Oh, yeah! cheered Inner Draco. That's the way to turn a battle around!

Hermione's hold on Draco softened. "Well…I suppose I love you…like……a ferret," she smirked. Draco scowled. "Draco, I do love you," Hermione said seriously, placing his hand in hers. "I love you like a brother, I love you like a friend, I love you like a teammate, I love you as a person. I'll never stop loving you, whenever and wherever we are."

Draco allowed the corners of his mouth to twitch slightly up. "Well, I suppose there's no point for me to deny it after that crappy cheesefest."

Hermione immediately drew back. "Cheesefest? That came from the absolute depths of my _heart_!" she screamed, lunging at him.

Meanwhile…

Ron, Harry, and Ginny looked up from the chessboard, hearing the bloodcurdling scream. Dust flew over them as loud thumps came from the ceiling.

Ron blinked. "They're either lost in the throes of euphoric sex or having a huge, blown-out fight."

Ginny turned her attention back to her chess pieces. "I say it's the former," she commented, and Harry nodded.

OoOoOoO

Jenna Marie Rose sprinted up the staircase, plowed through the Charms corridor, ducked behind three tapestries, and ended up in front of the Defense classroom. She was about to kick open the door (courtesy of Muggle action movies), when the door opened and Professor de Vellofides stepped out, looking quite a bit surprised a girl was panting heavily outside his room.

"What are you doing out here, Miss Rose?"

Jenna Marie looked up, and narrowed her eyes. "Enacting revenge," she growled. Then she did the most unexpected thing. In fact, it was so unexpected, it was actually expected.

She drew out her wand slowly…took an offensive dueling stance…and…

…jabbed it in his eye.

As de Vellofides screamed in the agony, Jenna Marie quickly shoved him out to the hallway, ran inside his office, and kicked the door shut. A simple locking charm would have to do; she was short on time.

Jenna Marie frantically searched for a small vial of clear liquid; finding none, she bit her lip and started opening the drawers and cabinets. "Where is it?" she muttered as she ravaged the office into bits and pieces.

Finally, she found it. A small, thin vial, completely empty, was buried deep in the rubbish bin. As the sounds of de Vellofides' moaning reached Jenna Marie's ears, she cursed and quickly slipped the vial in her pocket.

On her way out, she jabbed him again…in the other eye…

Curse words and spittle flew from de Vellofides' mouth.

OoOoOoO

Mandy stared daggers into Pansy's eyes as Snape intoned, "Now, as to further this godforsaken night, let your imbalances combine with each other and join in one union of friendship, hope, and love!"

"What the hell…?" Pansy muttered as she pulled her eyes away from Mandy's snake-like glare.

"I'm trying to patch up a relationship!" Snape bellowed. "My god, if I didn't have a conscience, I wouldn't even be here!"

Mandy smirked. "Then leave."

Snape frowned. "That's the thing...I CAN'T leave!"

Mandy and Pansy stared in disbelief. "What's wrong with you?" Pansy asked.

"I'm here against my will," Snape moaned. "And now I can't even leave this wretched place because you two insist on tailing me every single second!"

"That is our force," Pansy commented. "We must use the force!"

Mandy grinned. "Right on!"

Pansy almost smiled, but then she remembered that she was supposed to be mad at Mandy. "Go way, Brocklehurst, your little antics don't interest me."

Mandy's smile disappeared. "Why don't you go away? This is my part of the forest."

"Where does it say 'Property of Mandy Brocklehurst'?" Pansy countered

Mandy whipped out her wand and muttered something under her breath. "Here," she said, pointing to the patch of dirt in which the words, "Property of Mandy Brocklehurst," were elaborately etched.

Pansy "humphed" and sat down on a tree stump. "Well, if dirt's your spot, the tree's mine!"

"Fine with me."

Snape looked towards the sky. "Please, please, please return…"

OoOoOoO

While Snape was wishing for Harry, Ron, and Ginny to return, the aforementioned were currently lounged lazily on the many comfortable couches in the main living room of Malfoy Manor.

"This…is…crap…" Ron muttered, picking at a stray thread. Harry wordlessly agreed, choosing to twitch his finger once.

"Is this some way of punishment?" Ginny asked, sitting up. The other two sluggishly glanced at her. "Come now, don't tell me you haven't thought that perhaps this was a setup. Maybe this is a sort of spell."

Harry blinked. "What kind of spell?"

Ginny's eyes were now shining with excitement. "Maybe it's a kind of spell that makes you bored out of your mind so that when the Malfoys come back here, they can have a chance to attack and kill you when you're basically immobile!"

Ron raised his eyebrows. "Nice," he managed, rolling over on the couch. Harry followed suit afterwards.

Ginny sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I might actually _sing _if Hermione and Malfoy get back…"

And as if on cue, Draco stumbled into the room, gasping for breath.

Ron snickered. "Looks like somebody got some…"

"I wish," Draco mumbled. "I think Hermione is either on the right of me, smirking, behind me with a double-edged sword aimed at my spine, or above me, holding an anvil that is just waiting to drop," he ducked, covering his head. An evil cackle emitted from his right and Draco raised his eyebrows. "One out of three; not bad…"

"Hold on, where's Hermione?" Ginny asked. "I don't see her anywhere, yet I heard her cackle…" she finished, looking nervously around the room.

"Don't worry, I'm not a ghost," Hermione said firmly. "Although at this point, I may as well be one…" she muttered.

"Do you know anything about Disillusioning and how to make a person reappear?" Draco asked.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny gasped simultaneously. "Hermione messed up a spell?!"

Hermione shot a glare in their direction. Although they couldn't see her, the anger vibes could be felt very easily in the air. "Alright, from now on, anything in this room is going to be forever encased at the very bottom of our souls. _Or else,"_ she threatened.

Draco rolled his eyes. "It wasn't going to be kept secret in the first place?"

Harry contemplated this. "Good point."

Hermione stomped her foot on the ground. "_Listen!_ Now that we're all assembled here and calmed down a bit, we need to think of a plan to get out of here. Draco, where's Malfoy Manor, geographically?"

Draco scrunched up his face. "Somewhere in the thirties…"

"What?"

Draco looked surprised. "For the Floo…weren't we talking about that?"

"No," Hermione sighed. "I already know the Floo number…I mean…WHERE ON THE BLOODY EARTH IS MALFOY MANOR?"

Draco gulped. "Er…you see…I don't really know…" he mumbled.

"_Ooh,"_ Harry and Ron chorused. Ginny looked at them, confused.

"What?"

"He's in a lot of hot water…" Ron muttered. "If you ever encounter Hermione this pissed off, don't say "I don't know." She will bite your head off…"

Sure enough, the anger vibes were getting stronger and stronger.

Harry leaned back on the couch. "Ahhhh…a dream come true…the ferret killed in his own house. I can actually see the headline, 'Angered Hogwarts Student Throttles Draco Malfoy to Death'."

"Now that you mention it, the headline sounds rather nice," Hermione growled through gritted teeth.

Draco's eyes popped open in fear as he felt a pair of hands tighten on his neck. "I LOVE YOU, HERMIONE!" he cried desperately.

Hermione let go of him, and placed a hand on her chest. "Well, that's unexpected…"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like I planned on saying that."

"Ahem," Harry cut in. "Now that we know that you love her, let's get down to business. First of all, WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS YOUR BLOODY DOOR, MALFOY?"

Malfoy calmly wiped a spot of spittle from his pale cheek. "It's to the left of that green chair."

"Which green chair?" Ginny asked, gesturing to all the green chairs in the room, which was simply all chairs in general.

"The one next to the picture of my grandfather."

"Which picture is it? Your ancestors all look alike," Ron grumbled.

"It's the one near the serpent wall hanging."

Ginny let out a calm breath. Then she exploded. "WHICH BLOODY SERPENT WALL HANGING IS IT? AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T TELL ME IT'S THE ONE NEAR THE BOOKSHELF OR THE WROUGHT-IRON TABLE! REPLICAS OF EVERY SINGLE BLOODY PIECE OF FURNITURE ARE SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THIS BLOODY ROOM!" She took a deep breath. "BUY UNIQUE FURNITURE!" she bellowed.

Draco rubbed his ears. "This rubbish has been around for centuries, I can't just chuck it away."

Hermione sighed. "Just be a little more specific, Draco…and yes, do buy some new furniture that look absolutely nothing like your current furnishings." Her face lit up. "Maybe a swatch of red or gold will brighten this place up!"

When Draco actually contemplated this for a moment, Hermione raised her eyebrows. "I was joking. Keep your furniture."

Draco looked relieved. "Good, because…red doesn't really look good with green…yeah…"

"Hey, newlyweds, let's go. I found the door," Ron yelled from the silver serpent paper fan hanging above the bookshelf scattered with relics that were evidently very ancient.

Ginny turned around and swiftly grabbed a silver medallion. When Harry gave her a confused look, she shrugged. "A souvenir…plus it's real silver!" she giggled.

Harry stared at her for a second. "Alright…"

As Ron closed the door behind them, it vanished into the hard stone walls and within moments, all traces of the room even being there were gone.

Draco let out a long whistle.

"You've lived here all your life, and you haven't noticed that?" Ginny asked skeptically.

Draco shook his head. "I just wasn't looking for it."

Hermione rolled her eyes and grabbed Draco's arm. "Come on, let's move. We need to get back to Hogwarts before Pansy, Snape, and Mandy kill each other."

"How are we going to get back?" Ron asked. Draco sneered at him.

"You always ask the stupid questions, Weasley. We are going to get to Hogwarts by – wait. Hermione, how_ are _we going to get back?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe we could create a Portkey or something, but it's illegal to use an unauthorized one."

"Who cares? Breaking and entering in Malfoy Manor is illegal as well, but you don't see us complaining!" Ginny cried, and Harry and Ron nodded their assent.

"You broke into the Manor?" Draco asked incredulously.

Ginny suddenly looked frightened. "Why? Are there charms on it?"

"No…" Draco slowly said. "Because everyone is afraid of the mere mention of Malfoy, no one is brave enough to break into the Manor, so we don't really have any charms on it. However, we do have a hex for non-Malfoys who come in with a concealed item or weapons. Since you all are too stupid to think about attacking the Manor, I'd suppose you're safe."

"And come out with a stolen silver medallion," Hermione chirped happily. "Don't think I didn't see that, Gin."

Ginny scowled and handed over the medallion.

"Anyways, let's just make a Portkey," Harry interrupted. "Since walking is out of the question, the Knight Bus shouldn't visit here of all places, and riding broomsticks in this weather is too dangerous," he said, gesturing to the pouring rain outside the window, "I say we Portkey."

CRASH.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and Ginny gasped simultaneously and their heads immediately swiveled to the right.

"What was that?" Ginny gasped.

"I don't know," Draco answered truthfully. "But it sounded like it was coming from the kitchen!"

Ginny's eyes were now wide open. "T-t-t-the kitchen?" she stuttered.

"The kitchen," Draco confirmed, solidly.

"THE KITCHEN!" Ron screamed, taking off like a bullet.

The rest of them stared at Ron's retreating back in horror.

"Wait!" Hermione shrieked, sprinting after him, and the rest followed her.

OoOoOoO

"You know what? I don't even care about this anymore," Mandy suddenly said, jumping to her feet. "I'm going to the castle. And I'm going to kill," she finished, walking briskly out of sight.

Pansy's eyes widened. "Is she really going back to the castle by herself?"

Snape shook his head. "She wouldn't dare; the Death Eaters are moving around in hordes in the castle." A shadow flitted over his face. "Then again, if she is truly her father's daughter, she will enter the castle without a thought to her own life."

Pansy kicked a log. "I've been meaning to ask her this for a long time, but there was never a right time. What was her father like?"

Snape sighed. "Edward Brocklehurst was a poisonous man…brilliant…but dangerous. He was three years younger than me and was a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts." Seeing Pansy's surprised face, he sighed again and continued. "Being sorted into Hufflepuff was what changed his life. He was always trying to convince others that Hufflepuffs weren't a bunch of duffers. But no one listened to the tiny blond boy with a squeaky voice. It wasn't long before he realized that no one was interested in listening the moanings of an eleven-year-old child. Eventually, in the middle of his second year, he started changing, changing for the worse. He fully immersed himself in his studies and his friends eventually abandoned him. He started to eat less and was always seen with dark circles under his eyes. However, no one bothered to ask why, not even his Head of House. So Edward continued this and by the time he was thirteen, he was secretly sneaking Dark Arts books out of the Restricted Section of the library, and learning the spells. He was very talented, yes, but at that time, he had no control over his magic – the occasional burst of magic wasn't rare."

"But how do you know this? I really doubt you would be close to him," Pansy said.

"The following year, Edward Brocklehurst asked me to tutor him in the Dark Arts," Snape continued. "I laughed in his face. He was a scrawny Hufflepuff, with a large load of books almost toppling his body . However, he didn't back down. For the next three months, he badgered me incessantly. I was short of hexing him within an inch of his life when he attacked me in the hallway one night." Pansy smirked; she couldn't imagine a small Hufflepuff attacking teenage Snape in a dark hallway. "That was when I realized what a weapon he could be, if his powers were tapped to the limit. So, for the reminder of my seventh year, I took him as my protégé. By the end of the year, I could already see visible results. However, it was during the First War that I saw what I had turned him into. Instead of the nervous, clumsy Hufflepuff he used to be, Edward was now a killing machine with just the right combination of bloodlust and power. He now wanted nothing to do with his past as a Hufflepuff. In less than five years, he had morphed himself into the perfect Slytherin. I suppose that was the House he really wanted because it was known for power, and he wanted that."

Pansy bit her lip. She had no idea Mandy's father was like this…she would be hardly surprised if Mandy came back and told her she had massacred everyone in the castle.

"But there was still Hufflepuff in him. Hard work and loyalty are the most obvious traits of Hufflepuff House, and he retained them all," Snape finished, with a glint in his coal eyes. "Even though he displayed all the qualities the Dark Lord wanted in his Death Eaters, he remained forever loyal to Dumbledore, and to the school he attended as a boy, no matter how many grudges he had against his House. I even heard that he was buried with his Hufflepuff tie," he added. "He showed loyalty to the greatest extent when he refused the Dark Lord's many offers. I suppose the Sorting Hat was right," Snape said with a wry smile. "He really was a true Hufflepuff."

Pansy looked back up to the castle, a grim look on her face. "I'm going up there. I am not letting Mandy die facing a crowd of Death Eaters. I'm not going to let that happen."

Snape smirked and followed her after a moment. "I hope you're happy, Dumbledore," he whispered, looking towards the moon. "I finally did what you wanted."

OoOoOoO

A/N – I know that I suck at math, but you don't. I am really sorry that it took an extra two weeks to churn this chapter out, but now I have a week off of school, and can probably update faster.

Hmm…I wonder what's up with Snape? Hmm…hmm…hmm…

What was in the vial in de Vellofides' office? Hmm…hmm…hmm…

And who the heck screamed? Hmm…hmm…hmm…

Double KK - Wow, thanks for reviewing so many times! And no, Daphne is not dead, she's just temporarily paralyzed, but regained consciousness a few days later. Yes, I do tend to favor Ravenclaws more than the other houses, as showed quite blatantly in the expansion of Mandy Brocklehurst (compared to the two-word mention of her in the book). They're cool! And yes, I know that the story is moving quite a bit quickly during chapters 12-16, but I might go back and change some parts of it once I'm completely finished with the entire story. Also, eros is generally used as "love" or sometimes "passion". Eros was also a god in mythology. But in that chapter, eros meant "love." Llamas are nice, but I like alpacas better...

X.Draco'sX.GoddessX - de Vellofides is more sinister than you think...

Life is 42 - Wow, thanks! And the students were protesting because the more liberal ones were pissed off about not getting to participate in "kicking Moldy Voldy ass." I know that it sounds a bit strange, so that might be one of the parts I'll edit out later.

serpentine17ice - YES!!! Personally, I'm surprised more people haven't noticed this...or maybe they have and just didn't tell me...

cemicool - Jenna Marie Rose was just a fabricated character, and her basic purpose in the story to provide a puzzle piece to the plot, stick around for some comic relief, and then disappear forever. JUST KIDDING! Seriously, all characters are important, and her part in the story was to send a secret message to the others, knowing that she needed "reinforcements" because her magical abilities weren't enough. Jenna Marie knows something about Professor de Vellofides, and she sent that message to the others, inscribing it in a code with her last name, "Rose." Jenna Marie will have a large part in the next chapter, as she is very talented in Potions...hint hint...

Additional thanks to dreamingstar213, Hotkat144, superelle, White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, lyssa-kissa, Seventh Bell Astarael, sweetness123, dragoneyes5000, MistyDeath, Steelo, and jPoPlUVr789!

Toodles!

- Lily in a Pond


	26. An Explanation

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Six

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, and that is it. Period. Done. Over with. Finished. Not mine.

OoOoOoO

Mandy's blood was rushing heatedly through her veins as she stared at the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts. She could feel her heart pounding a million beats a second. Her head was empty, and her body felt light and speedy.

Lying strewn across the floor were paintings that had been hacked to pieces and tapestries cut through roughly. There was only one body lying prone on the floor, and it was at least moving, trying to stand up.

Mandy silently performed a Disillusioning Charm on the injured student and looked around carefully for any signs of Death Eaters approaching. A sudden noise on her right startled her.

Wand raised protectively in front of her, Mandy slowly took a full view of the room. And then…

…she saw them.

With her more-than-perfect eyesight, Mandy saw the shadow of two Death Eaters hiding behind a wall. A glance at the fallen portraits and she saw the hem of a black robe underneath them. Three more were hiding from above. She couldn't tell whether they were male or female, but it looked like they were ready to attack. Mandy changed her defensive stance and narrowed her eyes into slits.

"It's pretty obvious you're there, but that's all right. I'm willing to forgive you for those amateur hiding skills. However, my wand might not forget it so easily," she smirked. "So...come and get me."

OoOoOoO

"I don't give a damn about her bloody father, but if Mandy gets herself killed while facing a pack of Death Eaters, I swear I am going to turn that bloody chit's grave over a thousand times!" Pansy growled as she raced through the forest. Snape smirked. "God, the situations she gets herself into!" Pansy continued, pushing a branch angrily out of her way. The branch immediatetely snapped in two. "She's always being the hero, the one everyone can depend on to pull the job off easily! But her recklessness is going to get her killed!"

"You've forgotten that in the most dangerous of situations, she has always kept a cool head and figured out a way, logically and quite uncourageously, to save herself. She's good at running away," Snape added. "It's more than likely that she'll do it again."

Pansy grunted as she blasted a tree out of her way with her wand. "She's growing out of the selfishness. For the last two times, Mandy's faced the opposition and ended it with a spell, not by running and hiding. This is what I'm worried about," she said darkly. "That selflessness won't cost her injuries tonight, it will take away her life."

Snape showed no expression on his face. "Well, then, we better hurry."

OoOoOoO

Ron ran into the kitchen, followed close by Harry and Ginny. Hermione and Draco brought up the rear as all five collapsed on the marble counters, gasping for breath.

"D'you all have asthma or something?"

Ginny nearly shrieked with surprise as she looked up. She was eye-to-eye to a handsome boy with coal-black hair and deep brown eyes. "…Blimey…" she whispered, staring into his shaded eyes.

He laughed. "Calm down, I was just joking. I'm William Bradley, but you can call me Will. It's nice to finally meet you, Ginny Weasley."

"Hey, hold on a minute here. How do you know my girlfriend's name?" Harry asked suspiciously, a thousand rays of jealously shooting out of his eyes.

"I know everything about you," Will answered. The simplicity of the answer, accompanied with the eerie wording, made shivers run down their spines.

"How can you know everything about everyone?" Draco asked, narrowing his eyes. "Do you know what my favorite animal is?"

"The zebra," a female voice answered from the dishwasher. An ebony-haired girl of medium build turned around and strided towards Draco. "Draco Malfoy. Charmed."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Same to you," he answered smoothly. "Now, how did you know my name?"

"How do you keep on asking annoying questions?" she returned.

"How do you keep on returning my questions with a question?"

"It's all in the package," she mumbled. She ran a hand through her smooth black hair and said, in a normal tone, "Corona Winters. Eighteen. Full-fledged witch, if I can still call myself that," she added in an undertone.

"Alright…" Harry said slowly. "Let me see if I got all that. You're Corona Winters, an eighteen-year-old witch."

"Tell me one thing, Harry Potter. Does it really take you that long to comprehend the smallest of things through your abnormally thick head?"

"Corona! Be nice," Will scolded. "Anyway, you'll have to forgive my sister. She's – "

" – Your sister?" Ginny interrupted. "Your last name is Bradley and hers is Winters."

Corona turned to face her, eyes boring into Ginny's face. "And what makes you think we're telling the truth?"

Ginny shuddered as the strange sensation rippled through her body. There was nothing more chilling than having those onyx eyes drilling a hole into her.

Corona smirked and turned away from Ginny. "I suppose you're all wondering why Will and I are in your kitchen, and acting so casual about it."

"Well…_yeah,"_ Ron admitted. "You're not supposed to intrude in peoples' houses, you know."

"Oh, I _know_," Corona said with a sharp bark of laugher. "You see, Will and I aren't real."

Hermione blinked. "…Well...that was…_random_."

"Hermione, Corona and I really aren't humans, and we're not a breed of magical creatures either. I suppose you could say that we're a special group of magical species, but we're not exactly," Will explained.

"Stop beating around the bush," Corona snapped. Will cringed under her hard glare.

"Er…well, you see, there's no easy way to put this, but Corona and I are the ones who control…the factors that make an event in time."

Harry's jaw dropped, and Ron did a double-take. Ginny blinked. Hermione and Draco both furrowed their brows. Corona rolled her eyes at their expressions.

"In the time system, Father Time, who sits around all day and looks pretty, is at the top. His children just do the dirty work, and that's us. Though we're not related to him, he handpicks humans when they're young and educates them in becoming a Time Keeper. Afterwards, we were assigned to our current jobs," said Corona stoically. "Will is in charge of calculating the percentage of an event's unpredictability, in case things interfere in our way and we don't have any backup. He also works part-time with the Library of Records, which is why he knows so much about all of you. I'm in charge of making sure everyone that matters is in their places when an event happens. It's really the grudge work, being second-in-command and directly under Father Time, but not getting to reap any rewards."

"I smell a time coup," Hermione murmured. Corona turned a sharp gaze on her.

"Will and I are here because none of you are in your supposed positions."

"For what event?" Ron asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Corona sneered. "The battle at Hogwarts."

"...Ohhhhh…"

"With the amount of dense humans on the earth, it's no wonder why our failure odds have been getting higher," Corona muttered, rubbing her temples.

Will grinned. "Anyway, we've temporarily frozen time – "

" – _I_ froze time," Corona corrected sharply. "You latched onto my arm at the last minute and begged me to take you here."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that…"

Corona looked at him scornfully and then turned her attention back at the group. "You've noticed that some strange things have been happening tonight, delaying your return to Hogwarts. There are no such things as coincidences," she snapped, her glare alone freezing Ron in his eyeroll. "Everything happens for a reason, and tonight, that reason was to stop you from returning to Hogwarts and fighting."

"An unidentified source has been interfering with our information, causing the events tonight to become tangled," Will said, sounding like he was reciting from a book. "Others' positions at Hogwarts have also been tampered with; many of them are not yet in their places. Though we haven't received any information about this…er…_time sneeze_, if you will, we fully suspect it is an extremely dark wizard who wants to change time and the outcome of the battle," Will continued.

"The outcome of the battle? So you know who wins?" Harry asked anxiously.

"We know _everything_, foolish boy," Corona sneered. "Time sees no limits."

"What's the outcome of the battle?" Harry persisted.

Will looked at Corona. Corona shook her head, glaring dangerously. "Remain silent," she hissed.

"You win!" Will blurted out. Then, emitting a girlish squeal, he disappeared as Corona's tightly veined hands closed around air.

She cursed loudly. "When I get back, I am sending him to the Jurassic Period as dinosaur chow!"

"I win?" Harry breathed.

Corona sighed. "Yeah, you do, Potter. And since Will's dropped the biggest bombshell in your life already, I might as well slip out more. Ha! Now there's a mess _you_ have to clean up, Justin," she snapped towards the ceiling.

"Justin?" Draco inquired. Ginny gasped.

"I get it! Justin Time! _Just in time!_ Oh, that's funny!"

Corona stared at her in disgust. "Only idiotic mortals would find that amusing," she muttered, half to herself. "I hope you're not going to cackle like that when you become Potter's wife."

Ginny choked on air. "Come again?"

"Male Weasley. You die."

Ron fainted.

Corona cracked a tiny smile. "Kidding. You live and marry the herb girl, what's-her-face."

"What about me?" Draco demanded.

"You have a good life, you make money, spend it lavishly, buy a villa in Italy, the works."

"What about my future?" Hermione asked.

Corona started unblinkingly at her and Hermione suddenly realized that Corona could see her perfectly well. "Your future depends on what your heart chooses."

Authoritarian again, Corona squared her jaw and pulled out a piece of parchment. "You will be automatically relocated to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in no less than five minutes. Until that time, you are to stay here in the kitchen. When you arrive at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you will notice a scene frozen in time. Do not panic. Time will continue in a few minutes."

Corona slipped the parchment back into her long black robe. "Don't expect to see me soon, because you won't unless you die or use a Time-Turner incorrectly. On the off chance that you do, don't bother to greet me. It will cost you your life."

"What the heck does that mean?" Ginny cried as Corona smiled warmly, the first true smile they had ever seen from her.

"Have faith in time. All will work out."

Unlike Will's exit, Corona's image simply flickered for a moment, then disappeared.

OoOoOoO

"I spy with my little eye…Death Eaters just waiting to be killed," Mandy whispered, and licked her dry lips.

"_Imitari,"_ she hissed, and the image of Mandy Brocklehurst doubled. "Now…the fun begins."

"_Incidere,"_ she whispered, pointing her wand to the tall, bulky one who was trying to hide surreptitiously behind the tapestry. Though she whispered it, he still got the full brunt of the spell. A carefully executed Swelling Hex rendered another Death Eater unable to move his hands for quite a while.

The copy of Mandy crept up silently behind a Death Eater, pointed her wand at his neck, and whispered, _"Consectio,"_ making a large gash appear.

Mandy quickly stunned the remaining Death Eaters, then stood back and surveyed the scene. Once again, victory was hers.

"Mandy!" Pansy yelled, tackling Mandy to the ground. The image of Mandy flickered for a moment and then disappeared.

"Well, I don't think she liked the greeting," Snape remarked. Mandy rolled her eyes at him.

"It's the Imitation Spell…surely you, a Dark Arts specialist, have seen this before. It was invented in this century," she added snidely. As Snape opened his mouth to say something, most likely foul and not to be included within this T rating, Pansy cut him off and threw her arms around Mandy.

"I am so glad you're alive!"

Mandy violently shrugged Pansy off. "Stop cheating on Anthony, you lesbian! And why wouldn't I be alive? There were only five Death Eaters."

"Only five?" Pansy repeated in disbelief. "Most seventeen-year-olds would die facing _one_!"

"Well, two of them were quite bulky and didn't move too swiftly, so I suppose that made the job easier. Cheers to Crabbe and Goyle senior!" Mandy cried, trying to lighten the mood. Seeing the worried expression on Pansy's face twitch, she continued. "I mean, they were just two great lumps of flesh simply waiting to be attacked! All I had to do was keep quiet and sneak behind their backs!"

"Well, I'm glad you're alive and kicking," Pansy said, grudgingly cracking a smile. "C'mon, let's get you to the Hospital Wing for some chocolate. Your face is like the waning moon."

"The Hospital Wing is mostly likely filled with Death Eaters looting the medicine and my face is not like the waning moon. It's oval-shaped, you idiot."

"_Avada Kedavra!" _

Mandy, Pansy, and Snape casually dodged the Killing Curse.

"You know, that doesn't even faze me out anymore," Mandy said nonchalantly. "If you want to surprise me, you're going to have to work a lot harder than that."

"I really worked hard on that spell," Gregory Goyle whined as he stepped out of the shadows. "And you all dodged it!"

"Chips?" Pansy offered, holding out a bag of freshly conjured potato chips (sour cream and onion). Goyle's face lit up.

"Thanks!" he said, and walked off munching happily on the chips.

Snape stared in wonder. "Slytherins really are all cracked up…"

"Anyway," Mandy cut in. "You have yet to explain to me why you're here in the first place," she said, crossing her arms.

Snape shrugged. "Can't tell."

"Professor Snape, I need your help," came a small voice from his left. Snape looked down. Actually, he looked very down.

"What are you doing in the castle, Jenna Marie?" Mandy gasped. "Aren't you supposed to be outside, with the crowd?"

"I got tired of it. Professor Snape, I need your potion-making expertise. If you'll just follow me to the dungeons, you'll see what I mean."

As the three walked down to the dungeons, Mandy briefly wondered why she was going along with Snape and Jenna Marie; the situation had nothing to do with her.

So why was she still coming along?

As Mandy struggled to comprehend the situation, she felt a tingly feeling at her spine. It was like having a thousand little spiders crawling up and down on your body.

"Wait!" she yelled, causing Snape, Jenna Marie, and Pansy to turn sharply around. "I'm going back to the Entrance Hall. This just…doesn't….feel right," she managed out. "It feels like I'm not supposed to be here," she said weakly. Then, feeling the tingling stop, she added, vehemently, "This isn't where I'm supposed to be! I'm supposed to be in the Entrance Hall! I'm going back!"

As she rounded the corner and felt the familiar bright yellow light of a hundred chandeliers, a hand tapped her on the shoulder.

Mandy slammed her knee into Pansy's stomach.

"Oof!" Pansy collapsed onto the floor, writhing in agony and clutching the abused spot. "Why the hell did you ram your freaking bony knee into my abdomen!"

Mandy raised her eyebrows. "I thought you were an attacker. I just did the only thing I could in this kind of situation, which was defend myself."

Pansy stared at her for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and to Mandy's amusement, started laughing hysterically.

OoOoOoO

"Urgh," Hermione groaned as her back collided painfully with the muddy forest floor. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Harry and Ron get up slowly and Ginny reaching for a low branch to pull herself up. Draco was on Hermione's other side, lying facedown in the mud, brown spots splattered on his formerly impeccable hair and robes.

"Are you all alright?"

Moans and groans came from them. They were alive, but not kicking, Hermione thought amusedly to herself. As she slowly got up, a thought sprang to her. "Hold on a minute. When Corona said 'you will notice a scene frozen in time', do you think she meant it literally?"

"Pretty much," Ron answered, rubbing his head. "After all, what else _can_ you mean when you say that?"

"Good point," she admitted. "Let's use this time she's given us to strategize. After all, we need a plan."

"Every plan begins with a diagram," Ginny supplied cheerfully as she handed Hermione a twig.

Hermione nodded. "Right. Now, Ron, will you do the honors?"

Ron gaped. "What? What – why – w-w-what?"

"You're the strategist in this group, Ron, not me," Hermione said, smiling. "You've always been great at chess and all sorts of strategy games. You're the brilliant one at tactics."

"Tactic," Ron repeated, a smile slowly forming on his face. "Tactics. Alright, men, listen up! When time starts again, I will accompany Harry to the Quidditch Pitch as backup. Ginny, you're in charge of using that charm you and Alicia illegally invented over the summer to scout for casualties." He plowed on, ignoring Ginny's glare and the others' surprised expresions. "If you find any, bring them back to the castle immediately. If the Hospital Wing is safe at that point, I want you to help Madam Pomfrey with healing injuries. Hermione and Malfoy, as two moderately intellectual human beings, you will make your way up to the castle, destroy any enemies in the Entrance Hall and Hospital Wing, and reinstate Madam Pomfrey. We're going to need her potions," Ron said darkly. "You two are also in charge of making and distributing jobs to the others in the castle. If you meet up with Ginny, you three can scout the castle and look for survivors. If you meet enemies, don't hesitate to kill," Ron finished, a grim look settling on his face. "Now, let's go!"

As Ron and Harry hurried to the Quidditch Pitch, the latter following dejectedly, Hermione and Draco watched Ginny's flame red hair disappear into the woods and out of sight.

"This is the night," Draco murmured as he and Hermione carefully walked down the muddy, slippery hill they were previously on.

Hermione nodded. They walked in silence. Then –

"Do you know how disturbing it is to see patches of mud floating around in the air?"

Hermione snorted. "Thanks for reminding me I'm still invisible."

Draco smiled, but moved a little closer to the splotches of mud.

Draco and Hermione reached the castle doors of Hogwarts in a little less than five minutes, and as they approached, the rain started pouring on them.

"Ready?" Hermione asked nervously as she placed her hand on the doorknob.

"Ready," Draco returned confidently.

OoOoOoOoO

"I've got it. This is the reason. And before you go to give it to Potter – "

"I'm going? You can't just simply hand it to me, a sixteen-year-old!"

"You're going. I have to stay here and do what is required of me."

"You can't let me do this. What if I – "

"No what ifs. You're going. If you're not going to, you'll have the bear the weight of causing the Boy-Who-Lived to become the Boy-Who-Died."

"Why can't you go?"

"No questions. Many lives rest on your shoulders tonight. Are you willing to sacrifice them because you were afraid and unsure of your abilities?"

"No, but – "

"_Go!"_

As soon as Jenna Marie Rose had dashed out of the room with a small, carefully sealed glass vial tucked safely into her robes, Snape turned back to his potions cabinets and reached for a bottle of clear liquid. He poured it into the cauldron and it made a small hissing noise. A few moments later, the potion started foaming and bubbling.

"Finally," he growled as the potion stopped bubbling and fizzing. "Dumbledore, you're finally going to get the happy ending you've always wanted. Just you and Voldemort, one-on-one. Good wizard against bad wizard. The whole Greek tragedy. And then you'll die happily saving your precious Potter, giving your life up for the good of the next generation. And where will I be? Left all alone in the potions classroom, saving the last minutes of my life for solitude and introspection."

"But…this_ is_ my duty, and this _is _how it must end." And with that, Snape took a breath, and said the very words that would seal his fate.

"_Nex mos ago." _

Or, as many would prefer to call it, Death will Live.

OoOoOoO

A/N – Well, I got this chapter out significantly faster than the previous one, and I'll quite proud of myself. I promise that this chapter will the end of the serious, boring chapters you had to read, one after the other, boring pages of my droning. The next chapter will most definitely feature the battle between Harry, Voldemort, and a special someone all of you hold dear to your hearts. After this one, all my plot twists and turns will be used up and the humor can start again!

I also worked in the time thing as an excuse for drawing out the battle so long…hehehehehehe…yeah…

Many thanks to my reviewers, Moni Jane, BeachBabeBrittany16, lea, Sam's Firefly, svanire, Hotkat144, jPoPlUVr789, me, Fnick-Gurlz, Steelo, White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, DracosLover1313, and Belle Princesse168!

Please review!

- Lily in a Pond


	27. Time to Say Goodbye

Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Seven

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Ehh…losing sleep, so no funnies. HP ain't mine.

OoOoOoO

"Harry, what's really going on? The Harry I know wouldn't hesitate to kill Voldemort."

Harry avoided Ron's eyes. "Nothing," he replied. "Nothing at all."

"Just tell me. I know this isn't how you normally act or anything, but – " He was cut off when a small brown-haired girl collided with them.

"Harry – take – take this potion – now – " she wheezed, thrusting a minute vial in Harry's hands.

"Why? Are you going to poison me?" Harry growled, looking suspiciously at Jenna Marie Rose. Jenna Marie shook her head furiously. But Harry cut her off before she could open her mouth. "You can forget about it because I don't take things from strangers," he stubbornly said.

Ron coughed, _"Riddle's diary!"_ More coughing and _"Firebolt!"_ and _"Invisibility_ _Cloak!"_ were heard.

"Those were brief lapses of judgment," Harry muttered.

"TAKE IT!" Jenna Marie screamed hysterically.

"WHY?" Harry yelled back.

"YOU'RE WASTING PRECIOUS TIME, JUST DO IT, YOU GREAT GIT!"

"I DON'T WANT TO, _SHORTY_!"

Jenna Marie gasped dramatically. "TOO BAD, _SCARHEAD_, JUST DRINK THE BLOODY THING!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"_NO!"_

"_YES!"_

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ron roared, making all birdlike creatures in a ten-mile radius fly away in fear and surprise. "While you two are wasting time arguing like children, Voldemort and his followers could be anywhere right now!"

Harry wiped a bit of spittle off his nose. "I will not drink the potion, thank you very much," he said primly.

Jenna Marie pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alrighty, plan B," she sighed. She looked at Ron. "You might want to sit down for this……………….because you two are about to become……"

"FATHERS!"

Harry and Ron fell off the tree stump comically. Jenna Marie giggled, and then immediately stopped as Harry and Ron glared at her.

"I really have no idea why I thought that'd be funny," she mumbled. "Anyway, Harry, you're under the effects of the Possession Potion. Because the Possession Potion gives the brewer complete control over the drinker, something inside you has stopped you every single time you even_ think _of killing Voldemort. You must drink this antidote very quickly because even though Professor Snape and I made it, it is the weaker version as we brewed it fairly quickly. The estimated time you have to move on your free will is about an hour. After that, you're under de Vellofides' control again."

Harry's eyes widened. "Professor de Vellofides? No, he can't be doing this!"

"He is, Harry," Jenna Marie said quietly. "He's been fooling you all along. He's one of Voldemort's top Death Eaters. Mallini de Vellofides is a Dark Potions specialist; not even Professor Snape's potion making skills are up to his level."

Harry stood up shakily. "N-no," he faltered. "This – this – this isn't true! You and Snape are just trying to get me to drink that potion, which will probably kill me!" he stammered, raising a shaking finger at Jenna Marie. As she opened her mouth, Harry pushed her away. "Don't come near me! You – you – you can't be trusted!"

Jenna Marie looked helplessly at the retreating figure of Harry, who was sprinting furiously towards the castle.

"Well," she said sadly. "I tried. And, at this rate, he's going to run onto the Quidditch Pitch, where Voldemort will be waiting with a group of Death Eaters."

"I thought he was still crying," Ron commented.

"Oh, no, he's recovered and is now alive and kicking."

"I see," Ron replied.

Then there was silence. A few leaves rustled. The pitter-patter of rain increased. A rabbit darted out from a tree stump and quickly scurried away a moment later. Then Ron looked towards the sky.

"Oi! Corona! Are we supposed to wait for you to do something about the situation or what?"

The rain ceased for a moment. Then a box labeled, "Go," dropped onto Ron's head. Ron groaned, rubbed his head, and opened the box. Inside were little game tiles, an instruction packet, and a piece of parchment bearing the words, "Go after Harry, you idiot," printed on it.

"Whoa," Ron breathed. "I always knew the time guys were God."

The words changed to "I'm not God, just an innocent little Timekeeper with no intention of helping mere mortals. Seriously, I don't. Why are you still looking at me like that? I don't!"

Ron grinned and stuffed the note in his pocket. "This is the night!" he yelled, shattering the window of a random man in Antarctica. "This is the night where I prove that Ron Weasley is not just a sidekick!" Jenna Marie snorted. "I will prevail!" Ron continued, ignoring Jenna Marie. "For ye from above has sent me, Ronald Bilius Weasley, the divine message of yonder past! Forsooth, I shall be the hero who triumphs over evil! I am the chosen one! The one with the power! Thy might and thy brain shall prevail over all! I, Ronald Bilius Weasley will stand up and crush the mighty Lord Voldemort!"

Jenna Marie stared at him with a mixture of shock and disbelief. "…I think Ernie pulls off Shakespeare better."

OoOoOoO

Blaise Zabini groggily rolled over on his back and gingerly sat up a moment later, rubbing his head and looking around at the rugged landscape, trying to figure out how much time had elapsed and what had happened to him. All he remembered was seeing a bright flash of light, and then descending into darkness. Of course, it was still relatively dark now, but there was a tad of moonlight shining through the thick pine trees.

Someone next to him stirred and Blaise stifled a scream. Not only would the scream wake him/her/it up, it would be extremely undignified and more importantly, unmanly. Blaise settled for a classic look of surprise. After a moment of silent debate within his head, he reached over and poked the person.

"Urg…" he/she/it groaned, rolling over. Blaise poked him/her/it again. He/she/it swatted at his head angrily. Blaise shrugged.

"Tough luck, mate. I'm leaving you." He placed his wand in the center of his palm. "I'm guessing Harry'll need reinforcements in the castle. _Point me_."

After walking with his eyes glued on his palm for five minutes and miraculously, not bumping into anything, Blaise finally collided with a solid figure and immediately stumbled on the ground and fell. Looking up, he saw the pale, peaky, frightened face of Ginny Weasley.

"Weaselette! What are you doing here?"

Ginny sighed in relief as she realized the person she had run into wasn't a Death Eatert. "Harry told me to scout for survivors and to take them back to the castle to heal their injuries. I've already found two; you're my third."

"Not exactly…I don't have any injuries, so I guess that doesn't count. Anyway, can I go with you to the castle? It's probably better if we go together, for safety reasons and because there's some serious butt-kicking I need to do up there…"

"Sure," Ginny smiled. "But I think Hermione and Malfoy are already on the job."

"Aw, Malfoy's alive? Well, that stinks," Blaise grumbled. "I was really hoping he'd die and I'd get his money."

"Did it ever occur to you that out of all the people who would get the money, it would be his mother and father? And then it'll be Bellatrix Lestrange? And then Tonks?" Ginny asked, levitating the unconscious bodies of Ernie Macmillan and Terry Boot.

"Who's that?"

"Just some crazy witch who can probably hex anyone's arse to next year and back in the blink of an eye while tripping over her own feet, but still managing to cast it perfectly."

"Tonks, what a funny name…" Blaise mused. "Ow!"

Ginny peered down at the shadowy thing Blaise had tripped over. "I think…this is a body!" Getting down on her hands and knees, Ginny quickly cleansed the mud off of the person's features. Turning the body over, she saw the familiar face of Colin Creevey. Only now, the eyes that had once shone with hope and determination were dull and empty. Colin Creevey was…

"Dead," Blaise breathed. Ginny straightened up and set her jaw.

"Search the area," she commanded sharply. "If you see any signs of Death Eaters, report immediately back to me. Colin…I never thought you would be one of the first to die."

A few minutes later, Blaise and Ginny had unearthed two Death Eaters from the mud. From a quick medical diagnosis Ginny performed, it was clear that Colin had not died in vain. He had taken two others down with him.

Ginny sighed and looked at Colin's body. "We'll need to have a funeral for him when this is over. But for now, we'll just levitate him and bring him back to the castle for some more cleaning up. Come on, let's go."

As Ginny left the area with three bodies floating behind her, Blaise turned back to the dead Death Eaters and looked emotionlessly at them. He then dropped down to his knees before the body of the female Death Eater. Whispering a soft prayer, he took off his family amulet and laid it delicately on her chest. The diamond falcon seemed to twinkle like the brightest star in the sky as the moonlight shone on it.

As Blaise stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants, he looked back once more on the body. Emerald green eyes met identical emerald green eyes, and he whispered,

"Goodbye."

OoOoOoO

"Get him!" Jenna Marie yelled as Ron tackled Harry to the ground.

"Now!" Ron bellowed, and Jenna Marie poured the potion in his mouth as Ron tipped Harry's head back and pinched his nose shut.

The effects were immediate. Harry's eyes lost the dullness to them and gained the green fire Ron was used. While Jenna Marie sighed happily and closed the empty glass vial, Ron stared suspiciously at Harry.

His doubts were washed away when Harry straightened up and announced loudly that he was ready to kill an old, pale, pasty, bald maniac with no nose and an ugly, outdated tattoo.

"Yeah!" Ron punched the air with his tightly clenched fist. "Harry James Potter is back!"

Harry paid no attention to him and instead marched determinedly to the Quidditch Pitch, where Ron and Jenna Marie could already see flocks of black appearing.

With a jolt, Ron realized he was meant to follow Harry. Biding a quick farewell to Jenna Marie, he took off after Harry. Jenna Marie clutched the vial to her chest and watched as two men, not boys, took the risk of a lifetime.

They'll survive, she assured herself. The hero will always survive.

But as she convinced herself that good will always prevail over evil, she bade a silent farewell to the men she had known for less than an hour.

Just in case they didn't come back.

OoOoOoO

Ginny and Blaise gasped in unison as an electrical bolt rushed through their bodies. After the shock, Blaise looked at Ginny and in one glance, he realized she was thinking the same thing he was. The only thought running through their minds was: Go to the Quidditch Pitch.

Without another glance at the castle, they took off as fast as they could.

OoOoOoO

Pansy slumped against the stone wall as she felt a notion jerk though her body. Go to the Quidditch Pitch, she thought. Go to the Quidditch Pitch.

"Pansy? Are you all right?" Mandy asked worriedly. Pansy nodded, clutching her heart. The jolt had somehow triggered a reaction there.

"I'm fine," Pansy managed out. "I just need to rest for a little bit."

Leave Mandy, she thought. Then she shook her head furiously. Leave Mandy? What kind of an idea was that? She couldn't just leave her here in the castle!

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Mandy demanded, placing her hands on Pansy's shoulders. Pansy wrenched herself free from Mandy's iron grip.

"Nothing, nothing, I just have to go to the Quidditch Pitch!"

An undecipherable look crossed Mandy's features, and in an instant, Pansy knew Mandy was well informed of the Death Eaters gathering there. "If you think I'm just going to stand back and watch my best friend get slaughtered by a bunch of outdated, perverted, and just plain pretentious freaks, you're wrong! If we get slaughtered, we get slaughtered together," she finished firmly. Pansy stared at her a moment, her mind screaming, No! Leave her! Don't let her go to the Quidditch Pitch! Then, a smile broke out between the two girls' features as Pansy shoved that nagging little voice back into her head, and nodded determinedly.

"We're going together." As soon as she said that, an ominous feeling passed through Pansy's body and she shuddered. "Come on, let's go."

OoOoOoO

"Potter…who gave you the antidote?" Voldemort hissed, fury evident in his red eyes. Harry stood tall, staring back at him. Ron looked between the two.

"Er, Harry? You know that he asked you a question, right?"

"I know, Ron," Harry said, between clenched teeth. "But there's no point – I'm not answering it."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed even more. "Was it Snape? I'd been suspecting there was a traitor in my midst."

"It wasn't Snape. As a matter of fact," Harry smiled, "it was a very talented teenager." From behind the bushes, Jenna Marie blushed.

"A teenager," Voldemort repeated skeptically. "A teenager made the antidote for the Possession Potion in less than a day. A teenager." Harry nodded, and smirked at him.

"My followers just pwned yours."

As Voldemort shook with fury, Mandy and Pansy arrived, panting heavily. "Where – is – he?" Mandy choked out.

"Voldemort?" Harry asked. "He's having a panic attack at the thought of a mere fifteen-year-old making an antidote to a potion that would usually take a great amount of skill and knowledge to make."

Pansy nodded, and motioned for Harry and Mandy to come closer. "Alright, Harry, what battle formations do you have?"

Harry looked confused. "Battle formations?"

Pansy blinked. "You don't have any battle formations?" she hissed, eyes widening. Harry shook his head. "You idiot!" she shrieked. "You can't just run in there and attack Voldemort head-on, you need a strategy!"

"Pansy's the best at making strategies," Mandy announced proudly.

"Actually, I am," Ron interjected. Mandy rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Two great minds are better than one."

"Silence!" Voldemort yelled, his robes flowing from behind him dramatically. "I have waited so long for this day, Potter. I've waited sixteen damn years! But now, here you are…just standing there, waiting for me to kill you. Tell me your last words, Potter…"

Harry clenched his jaw and held his wand so tightly in his hand, he thought it would snap in two.

"Very well. I bid you farewell, Harry Potter."

Harry saw in slow motion the eerie green curse come at him, and before he had a chance to dodge, someone pulled him down and a multitude of curses and hexes exploded in the air.

As Harry got up, his left leg aching from the sudden drop to the ground, he saw that one by one, his friends were appearing from the trees, the bushes, and the air.

Hermione, Malfoy, Neville, Parvati, Justin, Hannah, Anthony, Lisa, Morag, and Theo. They were all there. Lupin, Moody, Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mundungus Fletcher, and another half a dozen Aurors had appeared out of nowhere, on brooms. Younger students, Dennis Creevey, Melody Brocklehurst, and Diana Greengrass, were there as well, though looking as if they had gone through Hell and back. And best of all, Hagrid was there.

Harry's face stretched out into a smile and inside him, something swelled. His heart was filled with love, with happiness, with joy, and with hope.

"Alright, people, we're forgetting tactics," Pansy announced. Ron nodded.

"Let's just go in there, and curse the crap out of them!" he yelled, and everyone cheered. Raising a loud cry, the group of Aurors and Hogwarts students rushed to the crowd of Death Eaters, and the battle began.

OoOoOoO

"_Stupefy!"_ Theodore Nott roared, stunning a Death Eater. A well-placed kick to the ribs sent another one flying.

Blaise rushed into the clearing, gasping for breath. _"Stupefy!"_ he choked out, his wand shaking horribly. The weakly colored beam of light shuddered in the air, then died.

"Blaise! Are you alright?" Theo asked worriedly. _"Stupefy!"_ he yelled at the man creeping up behind him. Blaise's body moved and his face twisted.

"Save – yourself – more – coming – " he wheezed. He was right. Only a second after this registered in Theo's mind, footsteps could be heard thudding through the ground, approaching the circle of trees.

So this is how it ends, Theo thought blankly. As the footsteps came closer and closer, Theo closed his eyes and prepared for the blow.

Then, a shriek of _"Imitari!"_ and _"Stupefy!"_ pierced Theo's mind.

"What the - ?"

No less than twenty copies of Mandy Brocklehurst were striding towards him and Blaise.

"Brocklehurst? Is that really you?"

The Mandys sighed in unison. "Of course. _Finite Incantatem_," one of them muttered, and the others reverted back into her body. "Who did you think I was? Gilderoy Lockhart?" she snorted. "Come on, let's get you to Ginny," she said to Blaise, flicking her wand and levitating him into the air. "And you – " she scrunched up her nose and scrutinized Theo. " – Well, you………you just keep on doing your thing – whatever that little show of cowardice was."

Theo sniffed. "I'll have you know I could've taken those Death Eaters out any time I wanted."

"Really? So when were you planning on 'taking them out'? While you were nearly peeing your trousers in fear?" Mandy sneered. "Face it, Theo, you couldn't stand a chance against them. It was thirty against one. Even my twenty-four replicas had some trouble getting all of them down." She sighed. "I don't mean to sound condescending or anything – "

"Too late," Theo interrupted. Mandy glared at him.

"As I was saying, I _mean_ to sound condescending. You need to get over your superiority complex, Nott, and actually open your eyes to see that no one is perfect! Get over it, and get over yourself." And with that, Mandy stalked off, Blaise trailing behind her in the air.

Theo threw his hands up. "I try to be friendly, and I get told off! What a witch…"

"I heard that!" Mandy yelled

"I don't care!" Theo yelled back, his voice echoing slightly. A Jelly-Legs Jinx came flying out of nowhere; Theo dodged it just in time.

"We're on the same team, you deranged lunatic!"

There was silence. Then another hex came hurtling at top speed. Theo sighed as he flattened himself to the ground.

OoOoOoO

"A requiem for the dead," Melody Brocklehurst announced. "By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes…"

"…Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond," Diana Greengrass joined in, their smooth voices harmonizing nicely.

"Where me and my true love were ever want to gae…on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."

"Oh, ye'll take the high road and I'll take the low road…and I'll be in Scotland afore ye…but me and my true love will never meet again…on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."

"Oh, ye'll take the high road and I'll take the low road…and I'll be in Scotland afore ye…but me and my true love will never meet again…on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond. On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond," they finished in unison.

Dennis Creevey, Anthony Goldstein, Hannah Abbott, and Parvati Patil stared at the duo. "What the hell?"

"We're fighting a battle here – "

" – And you're just sitting there – "

" – Without any regard to our surroundings – "

" – While singing Loch Lomond!" Parvati finished. Melody shot her a glare. But before she could open her mouth, a loud crackling noise made her go immediately on alert.

Snap.

Crunch.

Rustle.

"Shh…" someone whispered. The seventh years looked at each other and smirked in unison. Diana, Melody, and Dennis, younger and retaining less experience than the others, shivered as they saw the purely _evil _looks.

"_Transterrania!"_ Hannah Abbott yelled, pointing her wand at the ground, and the earth underneath them shuddered and broke into deep chasms, stretching a long distance. The earth was, literally, moving across. While the Death Eaters emitted yells of surprise, Parvati took this opportunity to show off her favorite technique.

"_Arturbo!"_ she cried, and a strong gust of wind nearly swept everyone off their feet. Craning their necks, they could see the wind increasing speeds in an unbelievably short time. Four loud thumps on wood were heard a moment later, and slight moaning could be detected.

Anthony's eyes blazed with fire. "I will not stand back and let a pair of girls finish this off!" Dennis Creevey stared at him.

"You are so sexist," he muttered. Anthony shot him a blinding grin.

"That may be, oh-so-young-one, but I will lay the finishing blow!" Then, all humor and foolishness gone, he bellowed, _"Incendio maxima!"_ A huge burst of flame shot out of his wand, and by guiding the wand in a tight circle, the roar of fire spreading on ground was heard. Anthony stepped back, looking satisfied.

"Hey…" Parvati started slowly, "isn't that Mandy's trademark spell?"

Anthony snorted. "Anyone with half a brain could see that her trademark spell is 'Oppugno'."

Hannah rolled her eyes. "You must have half a brain, then. Her trademark spell is obviously the Conjunction Counter."

"Where the hell did you come up with that? The Conjunction Counter was only mentioned once in passing in our Transfiguration textbooks, and we've never even seen her do it!" Anthony sneered. Hannah simply looked at him. Anthony stared back.

"Imitari," Melody said loudly, before the two could engage in an all-out catfight.

Anthony and Hannah stopped their staring contest. "What?"

"That's her trademark spell, douche bags. Imitari – the Imitation Charm," Diana sneered, folding her arms across her chest and giving an arrogant sniff.

"Imitari?" Anthony repeated. "But – but – but – but how can that be?!"

Diana and Melody sighed in unison.

"It just is," Dennis Creevey supplied, and Diana and Melody nodded.

OoOoOoO

"_Avada Kedavra!" _

Harry ducked and covered his head and the green jet of light flew over him, barely missing his head by an inch.

"Still hiding, Potter? You can't hide forever! _Avada Kedavra!" _Voldemort cackled. As Harry crouched down behind a tree, he couldn't help but think Voldemort had some serious problems with his sanity. Wincing as the tree branches were whipped off by another Killing Curse, Harry stood up shakily and held his wand in front of him defensively.

"Come on, Harry! You can do it!" Ron bellowed, as he dueled with a masked Death Eater. Hearing Ron's voice broke the mental barrier in Harry's mind and the little ray of warmth in his heart exploded to a burning flame. I can do this, he thought. I've been waiting all my life for this moment, and I'm not to give it up so easily. I can do it!

Pushing all his strength into the spell, Harry darted out from behind the tree and roared, _"Avada Kedavra!"_ Seeing Voldemort's eyes widen in shock, Harry grinned triumphantly, and for one moment, he felt as though all his dreams were coming true. But a second later, and Voldemort was still standing. Harry blinked in surprise and rubbed his eyes. How did Voldemort survive the Killing Curse?

Voldemort, seeing Harry's shock on his face, smirked. "There's such a word in the English language called 'jump'," he said, his amusement undisguised in his voice.

Harry was shaking all over with fury, and his hands were clenched into fists. His head felt numb. The one time he had really wanted to do it, Voldemort had dodged it. Voldemort had f-ing dodged it! he screamed mentally.

In fact, he was so caught up in fury, he failed to notice Voldemort smirking and holding his wand up. Only when Hermione's scream pierced his ears did he realize it was too late. Voldemort had cast the Killing Curse. And someone else had taken it for Harry. Someone, who, in the direst of situations, had thought nothing of herself and thoughtlessly jumped in front of Harry, protecting him and sacrificing her life.

As Harry looked down into the now lifeless blue eyes of Mandy Brocklehurst, her blonde hair spread around her like an angel's, he felt a pain he had never experienced before. The pain of knowing that someone, who Harry did not even know very well, had willingly sacrificed her life for him – to protect him, and to make sure he survived.

This was the final blow. Turning an impassive, but icy cold gaze on Voldemort, Harry reached for his wand. Harry noted that it was possibly the first time he'd seen Voldemotr look cautious of a mere seventeen-year-old boy.

Channeling all his magic, and all his leftover strength, Harry gripped his wand with both hands and yelled,

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

OoOoOoO

A/N – And so, after at least five excruciating chapters you guys had to sit through, the Final Battle is finally over. Whew! I think if I postponed it on longer, someone would've tracked me down and killed me!

There wasn't a lot of DMHG in this chapter, but now that the battle's finally over, I can start writing some seriously fluffy stuff. However, there're still some loose ends to tie up, so there will probably be three chapters after this. But the story's almost finished! Don't forget the last chapter's going to be the epilogue!

Also, about the whole "Death will Live" thing that was at the end of Chapter 26, it will be explained in the next chapter because...well, let's just say Voldemort isn't entirely dead and the only person who can _truly_ kill him is dead...or is he? (HINT HINT!)

Sad, painful, weep-your-hearts-out deaths in this chapter…Mandy, Colin, a certain female Death Eater that has absolutely no relation to Blaise Zabini…

Anyway, moving on…

Thanks to all my reviewers, I know I should be typing up responses to you guys or at least putting your names here, instead of the general term 'reviewers', but I am absolutely dead after typing two thousand words in two hours. If I ever have time, I'll make sure to do it.

Thanks for reading!

- Lily in a Pond


	28. Choices

-1Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Eight

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: Me no ownie HP.

----------

Mandy was floating in a wide expanse of nothing but white, her body slightly tilted to the left. The silence that surrounded her was eerie and supernatural. As Mandy opened her eyes, she couldn't help but feel frightened at this new environment.

"Where am I?" she wondered out loud.

"You're at the gateway to Heaven," a disembodied male voice suddenly said, sending shivers down Mandy's spine.

"W-what?"

"Madison Elizabeth Brocklehurst. Age seventeen. Died protecting Harry James Potter from the Killing Curse," the voice said, sounding like it was reciting from a list. "Golden blonde hair, cerulean blue eyes, five feet eight inches. No living relations but Angela Joanne Hornett-Brocklehurst, age thirty-nine; Melody Rebecca Brocklehurst, age fourteen; and Matthew Witham Brocklehurst, age ten."

Mandy was shocked that this person knew so much things about her that she kept secret. No one at Hogwarts knew her full name…they didn't even know what her real first name was! And definitely no one knew that she only had three relatives, two by blood and the other by marriage, still living out of the twenty-something members of the main branch of the Brocklehurst family. Mandy also vaguely remembered telling Blaise she was sixteen, not seventeen.

"How do you know all this about me?"

"I am the Gatekeeper. I know everything."

Mandy bit her tongue and tried to keep herself from throwing a temper tantrum at the so-called Gatekeeper. "So, you're the Gatekeeper, eh? Are you supposed to give me this complicated test or something to see if I can go to Heaven?"

"Contrary to popular belief, the Gatekeepers of Heaven don't do that. Anymore," the voice added as an afterthought. "Only when Corona and the Gatekeepers disagree on people's fates do we make up a test. She and I have wholeheartedly agreed that you should go to Heaven, because anyone who willingly jumps in front of someone else to take a Killing Curse for them is a person Heaven needs. Oh, and by the way…"

A small white business card fluttered into Mandy's hand. She peered at it inquisitively. "Corona Time's Millennium Co.?" she asked skeptically. "Is that really a legitimate corporation?"

"Well, now that Corona's taken over, yeah," the voice answered. "She's made everything into a commercial world. Even me…I'm getting paid quite a sum for being a Gatekeeper to Heaven."

Mandy raised her eyebrows. "Alright."

"Anyway, welcome to Heaven, enjoy your stay, make sure to float around dementedly and experience the time of your life, blah blah blah," the Gatekeeper droned, sounding bored. "If you wish to contact me, just go into the Pacifier and Outlandish Ocean and yell 'William Henry Bradley, you stinkin' pirate!' and I'll be there faster than the speed of light."

"Wait……" Mandy said slowly, as golden gates appeared out of nowhere and shimmered invitingly.

"Hmm? Did you say something?"

"Yes!" Mandy yelled over the swelling violin and harp music. "I don't want to go to Heaven!"

The music died down. The doors stopped glittering.

"…………Well, that's a problem," the voice said slowly.

----------

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

It was as if the entire world had paused, with everyone and everything at a standstill. The beam of green light flew in slow motion towards Voldemort, and a triumphant, slightly maniacal grin slowly appeared on Harry's face.

Hermione's eyes slowly filled with hope as she watched the jet of light travel across the sky. Ginny's face was a mixture of disbelief and happiness. Draco's mouth was slightly open; he was openly gaping at the light as it neared Voldemort. And Ron had a look of pure ecstasy as he watched the light penetrate Voldemort's body.

Harry broke out into a full smirk when the light hit Voldemort straight in the chest and he screamed with agony.

It was finally over, Harry thought, his mind reeling. It was finally over. Over!

Hermione and Ron rushed to Harry's side when he collapsed suddenly. Turning him over on his back, they saw a fragment of a smile rested on Harry's peaceful face.

"Over…it's over," he was mumbling.

"Move it!" Ginny shrieked, pushing through a horde of Aurors. She threw herself on Harry's seemingly lifeless body. "Harry!"

"He's alive, but very weak. He's fine," Hermione told her reassuringly. Ginny glared at her as she removed her hands from Harry's chest and muttered a spell.

"His heartbeat is slower than usual, his energy supply is drained, his magic source had been tapped into so much there is barely any left, and he's suffering from external injuries. Other than that, he's perfectly _fine_!" she choked out, the tears threatening to spill out. Ron looked at her questioningly.

"Gin - ?"

Ginny sniffed. "I thought he had _died_! I thought I would never see him again or never talk to him again or - "

"I thought I'd lost him forever," she finished quietly.

Ron put an arm around Ginny's shoulders comfortingly. "Come on, let's take him back to the castle to Madam Pomfrey. He's going to need a lot of rest to recover from this one."

Ginny nodded, the tears finally spilling out. Blowing her nose on a handkerchief Hermione handed her, she then straightened up and muttered a spell, levitating Harry on a stretcher behind her.

"Are you two coming?"

Ron obediently followed her, but Hermione hesitated.

"I'm going to stay here. There's something I need to do."

Ginny and Ron nodded, understanding. Then they, and the stretcher, disappeared into the woods.

Hermione smiled sadly at the woods and then made her way to the group of Hogwarts students, panting on the ground, wearing looks of disbelief and shock. One in particular interested her.

"Draco," Hermione said quietly. Draco looked up and smiled when he saw Hermione.

"I thought you had been finished off by some Death Eater," he breathed, standing up and taking her hand.

"I thought _you_ had been finished off by some Death Eater," she replied. They chuckled. Then Hermione swallowed and gripped Draco's hand tightly.

"I've been meaning to tell you this for many years. I was always so afraid, afraid that things wouldn't work out or you would reject me. And even when I had an opportunity to say so, I backed out, always saying there would be a better time. But there isn't a better time. It's now or never."

"It was always me," Hermione began, averting her eyes from Draco's piercing gray orbs. "It was me you danced with the Yule Ball. It was me you kissed at the Yule Ball. It was me who tasted the same flavor as you with Luna's carrot. It was me who left the book in the Great Hall. It was me who asked your Magic 8 Ball if you loved me. It was me who snuck looks at you every time you went into the library. It was me who first discovered our friends were plotting to get you and I together. It was me who sent Daphne Greengrass to the Hospital Wing because I made a bookshelf collapse on her out of. It was me who would look over to the Slytherin table every night and wish I could be there next to you. It was me who extremely enjoyed that kiss on the Astronomy Tower that night. And...it was me who looked at you every single day, and realized that fairy tales are possible. But……it was me who hid in the shadows and never poured my heart out to you. It was me who you exchanged verbal assaults every year. It was me who kept my feelings hidden all these years. And………it was me who you hated," she whispered. Then she straightened up again and looked in Draco's stormy grey eyes determinedly.

"But, all along, it was me who loved you for who you truly were. I really love you, Draco, I really do."

Hermione sighed quietly. "I understand if you never want to see me again." She tried to look into his eyes, but Draco had looked away. "I…I…hope things work out for you." Hermione began walking towards the castle, brushing away a solitary tear that had escaped from her eyes. So this is what heartbreak feels like, she thought bitterly. Walking away, but no one is there behind you.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed her arm. "Wait."

Hermione turned around, her eyes filled with hope as she stared back at Draco.

"Er…" he said, suddenly feeling shy. "I don't have a great speech like yours, but…..I can do something that means...that might…express my…feelings."

And so, he leaned down and kissed Hermione, a kiss filled with longing, hope, passion, and most importantly, love.

--------------

"What do you mean, you don't want to go to Heaven?"

Mandy looked down and whispered, "I just don't want to. I have - I _had_ - a life down there. I…….I can't just abandon it!"

"But everyone wants to go to Heaven," the Gatekeeper said, sounding perturbed.

"Not me. My friends are there. My family is there."

"If it's your family that you want, you can have it. All of them, all of the Brocklehursts that died in the fire are here." Mandy looked startled. "You can be reunited with them," the Gatekeeper continued. "You can have that big family that you've always dreamed of." Mandy's now stony face held no expression, and the Gatekeeper sighed. "Perhaps it's better if I show you."

Mandy looked confused for a moment. Then, the nothingness changed. It slowly altered into the shape of what used to be Brocklehurst Manor, in all its previous glory. A blond man wearing deep green robes opened the door, and suddenly, Mandy was sucked through into the house and Mandy's memories of her childhood came rushing back at her in that instant.

Victoria. _"Mandy, do you like the new toy I bought for you? It's your favorite, a falcon!" _

Frank. _"Go! Go! Go! You can do it! Just a few more steps!" _

Alanna. _"What will it be today, Mandy? Mashed up strawberries or bananas?" _

Ben. _"When you're older, I'll take you to Hogwarts with me. It'll be the best experience of your life." _

Isabelle. _"I'm so sorry I can't play with you today, Mandy, but you know my job at the Ministry; it's so demanding. I promise I'll be there tomorrow." _

James. _"Always and forever. That's how much I'll love you." _

Beatrice. _"The sun won't shine forever. But let's make the most out of our time together, Mandy!" _

Geoffrey. _"Good and bad have to be balanced in this world, Mandy. Remember that."_

Catalina. _"Limited time, Mandy. Everyone's time will eventually run out. But the love that burns between you and I will never end." _

Helena. _"No matter what you do, Mandy, know that your father and I will always be with you all the way, right here in your heart."_

Edward. "Wherever you go, whatever you do, remember that the love and the magic will guide you."

Mandy stumbled backwards and tripped when her father's face flew right up to her face. "Come to Heaven, Mandy. Come to your family. Come...to your past."

----------

"So how exactly did you guys move from hating each other to being in love?" Pansy asked, chewing on a Licorice Wand. She, Draco, Hermione, Ron, Anthony, Theo, Morag, and Blaise were in the Slytherin Common Room, devouring the supply of sweets hidden behind a portrait.

Hermione smiled. "Love takes time to grow, and see, the theory that Draco and I've worked out - "

" - You came up with a theory for love?" Anthony asked in disbelief.

Hermione shrugged. "Well, we are a species of semi-intelligent creatures. Anyway, we decided that technically, we've actually loved each other for three years, although Draco didn't exactly know it was me he loved. So in theoretical terms, we've loved each other for quite a while.

"But there's still one question left to be answered," Draco added. "…Why did it feel like the entire student body and staff was trying to get Hermione and I together?"

Theo coughed. "Well…that's what we were trying - "

"SHUT UP, THEO!" The others screamed, jumping up.

"Don't mind him, he's a little deranged after the battle - " Morag started, thumping a hand rather painfully down on Theo's shoulder.

" - Yes, he's quite disturbed in the head now - " Pansy nervously giggled.

" - Quite disturbed, quite disturbed. He doesn't even have an idea of what he's saying, poor chap - " Blaise slammed his hand down on Theo's other shoulder.

" - He should really go to the Hospital Wing - mental," Ron finished, twirling his finger around in a circle. "Pay no attention to his words, because they are _so _wrong! _Yes, Theo_. _They. Are. So. Wrong_."

"We already know about your little plan to matchmake Hermione and I, you thick-headed buffoons," Draco smirked. The others collapsed comically.

"H-h-how?" Pansy asked nervously. She had thought their secrecy was impenetrable!

"Ginny accidentally told me about a week ago," Hermione replied nonchalantly. "She also mentioned someone named……Theodore Edmund Nott, but I'm willing to forgive and forget. Oh, speaking of which, I think we should visit Ginny in the Hospital wing again; lend her some assistance."

"Hermione, the last time we went there, which I remind you was only _ten minutes ago_, she gave me, Anthony, and Morag black eyes, and threw us out a moment later," Ron stated, tapping his darkened eye.

Hermione huffed. "Well, you can't blame the girl for being a little frazzled. The love of her life is hanging on the verge of death!" she finished theatrically.

"Actually, he's recovered a bit," Morag spoke up. "He didn't have that many injuries, and the largest problem is that he drained nearly all his magic, so he just needs a lot of rest."

"I tell you, the one time I try to make it dramatic, _you_ of all people have to step in and be the infuriating know-it-all!" Hermione said angrily, stamping her foot at Morag.

Morag shrugged. "Well, somebody has to play the part."

"Anyway," Ron cut in, changing the subject. "Does anyone really know who that Ravenclaw girl was? The one that made the potion? She was cute..."

"Ooh, don't let Lavender hear you saying that!" Hermione giggled.

Ron scowled. "I meant she was cute in a kiddie way. Lavender is...she's...my words aren't even close to worthy for her," Ron breathed. Seeing everyone in the room staring at him, bug-eyed, he abruptly changed the subject. "So, who was she?"

"Well, I know she's close with Mandy," Pansy began.

" - Speaking of Mandy," Blaise cut in calmly. "WHERE IS SHE?" he bellowed, showering Pansy with spittle.

"I think she had some injuries, but I can't remember because I saw her use the Imitation Charm so many times, it was as if Mandy was everywhere," Pansy said, wiping off her face with her robes. "Your best bet is in the Hospital Wing, though."

"But we didn't see her when we went there a few minutes ago," Anthony contradicted. "So, where is she?"

A worried look appeared on Blaise's face. "This is not good," he mumbled before getting up from his chair and walking swiftly towards the portrait.

"We should follow him," Theo said. "Blaise is almost never worried, but when he is, bad things happen."

------------------

"What the hell are you doing in here? Again!" Ginny screamed, attempting to push the group out. "Get out!"

Ron avoided a punch to the head, and ducked when Ginny tried to hit him in the shoulder. "Come on, Gin! Just let us stay for - WHOA! That was uncalled for! If you still want to be an aunt, you better stay away from that area!"

"I have enough brothers who are married to be an aunt easily! Get out! You're disturbing my patients!"

Pansy looked at Anthony and raised an eyebrow. "_We're_ disturbing her patients?"

"Ginny! Calm down!" Hermione said, placing a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "Look, I know this is probably the most hectic place, what with all the patients and healing you and Madam Pomfrey have to do, but have you seen Blaise Zabini come in here?"

Ginny nodded, a little bit more in control now that she was surrounded by a person known for rationality. "He went in there, where Mandy is," she told them, pointing to a curtained-off area.

"Thanks," said Hermione. As she and the group turned to go, Ginny jumped in front of them.

"Hold it! Considering that area is strictly off-limits to students, not to mention the fact that I don't like you lot, only two people may enter at the same time," Ginny said matter-of-factly.

They looked at each other. "Well, I guess I'll go, since I'm her best friend," Pansy decided. She went to join Blaise in the enclosed area.

"The rest of you…" Ginny started, placing a hand on her chin and pretending to think. "Hmm, let me see……I don't really know……ahem, GET OUT!"

As the others turned to trudge, defeated, out of the Hospital Wing, Morag asked, "Just out of curiosity - "

"You are too curious for your good, MacDougal!" Ginny yelled, throwing a bedpan at him. "Out!"

Ron poked his head back in as Morag hurriedly exited. "Hey, d'you have any spare sweets that people have sent to the patients?"

Ginny twitched. Then her neck slowly swiveled around and she fixed Ron with a patented Weasley glare. "Ronald………I really think you should go."

Making a very wise decision, Ron proceeded to run for his life.

---------

"What will it be, Mandy? Heaven? Or Earth?"

Heaven or earth? Heaven or earth? Heaven or earth? The words resonated in Mandy's, echoing deep into the hidden caverns. Heaven, where the family she had lost so early was. Or Earth, where her friends and her life were.

Heaven, where she had her sisters and brothers and cousins and other relatives…

Earth, where she had Pansy.

Heaven, where she had Alanna, possibly the best older sister a girl could have.

Earth, where she had Blaise.

Heaven, where her father was.

Earth, where her life was.

Heaven or earth?

Mandy took a deep breath. Heaven was the right choice, she reassured herself. You would be forever happy in Heaven, you can have anything you want, and most importantly, the big family you've always wanted would be always be there.

"Yes…that's the place I want to be," she whispered, voicing her thoughts out loud. "Heaven…that's the place I want to be."

"Is that your final answer?" The Gatekeeper asked. Mandy looked up, and the golden gates glittered invitingly to her. It was the right choice, she repeated to herself.

But why did it feel so wrong?

----------

Draco, Ron, and Hermione were back in the Slytherin Common Room. Pansy and Blaise were still in the Hospital Wing, and Morag and Theo had excused themselves, pleading an overload of homework. Anthony had been accosted by a group of Ravenclaw sixth year boys demanding his presence at their card game and had left shortly after their trip to the Hospital Wing.

So now, it was just Draco and Hermione.

And Ron.

Ron, Hermione fumed silently, smoke emitting from her ears. Why couldn't he take a hint and leave them alone?

Stupid weasel, thought Draco angrily. If there was ever a person as dense as him, the world would collapse with the mere thought that it had created two schmucks of that intelligence.

This was such an exciting day, Ron thought, oblivious to the death glares both were sending him.

"Lovely day, isn't it?" he commented cheerily, snagging a Chocolate Frog and biting into it enthusiastically. Hermione and Draco, sitting opposite Ron, sighed in unison.

"Sure," Hermione offered insouciantly, shifting impatiently in her seat. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he muttered. "I'm going down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. Are you coming, Hermione?" he asked, hoping Ron would understand and leave him and Hermione alone.

Unfortunately, Ron was quite dense in this matter. "I'll come with you. I'm starving!" he said, rubbing his stomach. Hermione and Draco sighed again, and regretfully got up.

"Alright……let's go."

As the portrait hole closed behind them, Theo and Morag descended from the stairs.

"You seriously think she's going to accept?" Morag asked skeptically. Theo nodded.

"It's got a one hundred percent chance of succeeding."

"Really," Morag said, looking impressed. "Well, I suppose with those odds, I'll do it. After all, it's not that nerve-racking anyways. All I have to do is to ask her one simple little question. One simple little question," he repeated, half to himself.

Theo noticed the scrunching of his friend's eyebrows, a sign that he was under pressure and stressed, and patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Come on, Morag, you've conquered Death Eaters and your parents. Conquering romance is going to be a pickle."

"I would rather face a thousand Death Eaters, plus my parents to the _n_th power, than go through with this," Morag replied solemnly.

"I really don't see why it's so hard to do this," Theo commented as they headed towards the portrait hole. "I mean, asking Parvati was a snap! No nerves, no fear, no anything, Just calm, casual, and collected."

"What'd she say?"

"Yes, naturally," Theo replied smugly. "How could you say no to a dashingly handsome face like this, a grappling brain filled with devious intelligence, a bad boy slash sarcastic comedian attitude, and this smoking' body?"

Morag looked him over. "Well, _I _would. Your arrogance is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg…"

"Did you say something?" Theo asked, tearing his eyes away from his sparkling image reflected from one of the statues of armor. Morag sighed, and pulled Theo away from the armor and in the general direction of the library.

"Come on, Narcissus, let's go to the library. We've got tons of homework to catch up on."

Theo wrestled himself free from Morag's grip. "Oh, yes, I'm sure all our teachers won't be lenient on us even though we've fought Death Eaters, ridded the magical community of all general evil, and contributed directly to one of the greatest rise and falls of the twenty-first century," Theo replied sarcastically. "Yes, at a time like this, homework is the _greatest _priority."

Morag frowned. "Well, I'm going there anyway. I'm getting a book for Luna."

Theo smirked. "Well, take the opportunity fate has given you. Slip a note into the book, she's bound to find it."

"Cheesy idea, not to mention overused," Morag called. He was halfway down the winding hall by now. "I'm just going to ask her……………tomorrow."

"Good luck with that," Theo sniggered. He spotted a familiar looking girl, and waved a quick goodbye to Morag. "Oi, Padma! Where's your sister? I want to talk with her."

-----------------

Mandy looked between the images of her family and to the blurry picture of Pansy and Blaise that had appeared in the whiteness a moment ago. They were sitting around a bed, but the rest was too obscure for Mandy to see, even with her sharp eyesight. The whiteness was blinding as she squinted and tried to decipher why they looked so worried.

"So is that your choice? Heaven?"

Mandy gasped as the whiteness cleared around the image and she saw herself in a hospital bed, with tubes and contraptions of all sorts being prodded into her. She saw Madam Pomfrey standing off to the side, mixing together a potion feverishly. Mandy peered closer and saw Pansy's face etched with lines as she clutched the lifeless Mandy's hand. A pale, peaky Blaise held the other one. Mandy watched, captivated, as Blaise bit his lip so hard blood spilled out.

"Heaven it is, then," the voice said, taking her silence as a confirmation.

The picture suddenly became blurrier and Mandy saw Madam Pomfrey shaking her head while leaning over Mandy's body. The word 'she's gone' were read from the woman's lips, and Mandy choked back a sob. Was she really dead?

Then, to her horror, she felt a strong force pulling her back towards the golden gates. Mandy kicked and flung her body in all direction in desperation, but nothing worked. The image of Blaise and Pansy grew fainter and fainter, and suddenly, Mandy knew where she wanted to be. But was it too late?

No! she shrieked in her head. I will never let go of them!

Fighting back tears, she screamed with all her might, "NO!"

The force abruptly stopped.

"No," Mandy repeated. "I'm sorry for changing my mind again, but……the people below……they're the ones I want to be with. I'm sorry, Father and Mother and Alanna and Ben, but the Brocklehursts are my past. Blaise and Pansy…….they're my future."

There was silence for a moment. And then, the whiteness seemed to explode as the world around Mandy spun wildly.

"You have chosen well, Mandy Brocklehurst," came another disembodied voice, this one female. "The future is always essential for time to continue."

As she raced through colors and sounds and tastes and feelings, the voice continued. "The game of Heaven is one with few good decisions and extremely high stakes. You, who have never made wise decisions in your life before, have just started the first part of maturity. Only when a person can do what their heart tells them………is when a person is truly a being. I congratulate you."

Looking around her at the whizzing sights, Mandy whispered, hoarsely, "Who are you? Another Gatekeeper?"

The voice laughed, a soft, tinkling sound. "My title is not of importance. You may simply remember me as……Corona Time."

"Corona Time," Mandy repeated, and the voice whispered one more thing before it disappeared.

"Mandy………choose wisely……your adventures are only beginning."

Mandy didn't know what meant, but she didn't care. The image of Blaise and Pansy were becoming clearer and clearer as she sped faster and faster through the feelings of the senses. And then, with a massive jolt, she returned to her body.

--------

Mandy groggily opened her eyes. It was nighttime at Hogwarts, and the room was dimly lit. Pansy was gone, a bouquet of flowers left in her chair. Blaise was still there, clutching onto Mandy's limp hand. He seemed to be asleep, but he was awake in a flash once he felt the life rush back into Mandy's hand.

"Mandy?" he whispered, hardly daring to believe it. If she was alive, it was a medical miracle. Madam Pomfrey and the doctor from St. Mungo's had pronounced her dead with sober certainty.

Mandy opened her eyes a notch more. The fuzzy image of Blaise cleared more, and she could see his handsome features strikingly defined with the lines of worry on his face. It could've been a trick of the light, but it looked like there were tear streaks down his cheeks.

"…Mandy?" Blaise whispered again. Mandy blinked slowly, a grin forming on her face.

"Blaise……..you……you're my future."

Blaise looked bewildered, but he quickly recovered and swept Mandy into a bone-crushing hug. "Mandy," he breathed in her hair. "I thought...I thought you were gone."

As Mandy felt the hospital room spin around her and felt the familiar feeling of drifting into unconsciousness, she looked up and whispered,

"Thank you."

----------

A/N - Geez, this whole chapter was all Mandy-Mandy-Mandy, I think I'm not going to write the sequel after all, because that's mainly centered around an older Mandy.

Some slight DMHG in this chapter, along with a side serving of Harry/Ginny. Also, some cute tidbits like Morag/Luna, Theo/Parvati, Ron/Jenna Marie/Lavender, and more snuck in!

And just as a reminder, my Horcrux Chart (according to this story):

-Tom Riddle's diary: destroyed by Harry Potter

-Marvolo-dude's ring: destroyed by Albus Dumbledore

-Ravenclaw's Hourglass: destroyed by Mandy Brocklehurst (there she is again! Spotlight-stealer...seriously, I think I made her too important for this story...)

-Hufflepuff's Cup: accidentally destroyed by Justin Finch-Fletchey and Ernie Macmillan

-Nagini:

-Slytherin's locket: destroyed by Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger

Thanks to my reviewers!

- Lily in a Pond


	29. Explosions of the Heart

-1Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Twenty-Nine

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: No own, no keep, no take.

----------

Two weeks had passed since Harry, Hermione, Ron, and their friends took part in the end of one of Wizarding History's greatest eras. The entire seventh year had gone through press conferences, award ceremonies, interviews, and huge publicity over the defeat of Voldemort. Some had enjoyed the attention, but Harry was pleased to say he had successfully managed to fake illness when Rita Skeeter came calling.

Hermione was overjoyed when it was mentioned at an interview that her life was now being researched and written into a book. On the contrary, Ron was not. Of course, this was probably due to Ginny giving the reporter every single bit of humiliating and embarrassing information she had.

Ginny was a little more serene now that the mad rush of injured students was over. She and Harry were now one of Hogwarts' popular gossip topics, even though their relationship was already solidified.

Draco had basked in his fifteen minutes of fame, lapping up all the attention he could get and enjoying the numbers of women fawning over him, cooing in baby voices about his "_tragic_, absolutely _wretched_ past," and how he managed to grow up to be a "strapping young man with _devilishly_ good looks and a _charming_ personality."

Mandy had recovered from her traumatic experience at the gateway to Heaven, and now she and Blaise, now officially a couple, were often seen together. Loud explosions had been heard from their rooms ever since she had checked out of the Hospital Wing. Strangely enough, no one, not even their own housemates, knew why.

In short, life was now back to normal at Hogwarts.

"HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY UNDERWEAR!"

Well, as normal as a magical life could be.

As Ron chased furiously after a laughing Ginny, Harry and Hermione looked on with amusement.

"…And here, we have Exhibit C. _Homo stupidus _attempting to thwart _Homo sapien_," Harry joked, and he and Hermione bust out in laughter when Ron tripped over a rug and fell flat on his face.

"Looks like Weasley's so thick, he forgot which foot to put in front of the other," Draco said sardonically, coming up behind Hermione. "Of course, I wouldn't blame him; he never had any formal education other than his knowledge of - " He was cut off when Harry and Hermione slapped him at the same time up the head. "I was going to say swear words," he smirked. "You have such a deliciously wrong mind."

Harry made a disgusted face. "Urgh. If you're talking to me, ew. If you're talking to Hermione, EW. I'm leaving."

"Where're you going?" Hermione asked.

"Down by the lake," Harry replied, resisting the urge to add 'with the hanky panky, where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky.' "Ginny needs me to test out a few medical potions."

"So why do you need to go to the_ lake_?"

"Because you'll turn into a whale if it doesn't work properly," Harry replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Didn't you figure that out?"

"…_Noooooooo_…" Hermione and Draco said in unison.

Harry blinked. "Well……too bad. Mandy! Hi!" he called as he departed, waving to the girl who had just turned the corner. Mandy turned around and waved a goodbye to Harry. Walking slowly with large bulk of books she was carrying, Mandy blew her blonde bangs away from her eyes and asked to Draco and Hermione,

"Do any of you know where Blaise is? He wanted these books from the library."

"I don't know his whereabouts, but that book looks interesting," Hermione observed, taking a book off the large stack and examining the cover closely. "Electricity and magnetism…why does he want a book on this? This only exists in the Muggle world since they don't have magic to power their appliances."

"What's electricity?" Draco asked curiously, carefully sounding out the word.

"I'll tell you later," Hermione mumbled, opening the book and reading the contents. "I wonder why Blaise wants this book……he's a wizard; he doesn't need electricity - "

" - He's conducting an experiment," Mandy hastily interrupted, hurriedly taking the book back form Hermione. "And I'll be going now. I'll see you later!" As she stumbled off with the books, Hermione and Draco watched her retreating back with curiosity.

"There's something she's hiding," Hermione said worriedly. "Something very important."

Draco shrugged. "Well, for all know, Blaise is probably using that electricity thing to blow up Theo's bed. Come on, cheer up," he said, noticing Hermione's unchanged expression. "There's nothing to get worked up about."

"I suppose you're right," Hermione said reluctantly. "But…"

"No buts," Draco said cheerfully. "Come on, let's get some lunch. I'll give you all the Shepherd's pie!" he cajoled. Hermione wavered.

"Alright, fine. Someday, I'm going to discover what _your _weakness is…" she laughed, and the two headed off towards the Great Hall.

----------

Lord Voldemort laughed evilly as he slithered out of the woods and into the direction of the castle. The stupid boy and his friends failed to notice I had one more Horcrux, he thought maliciously. And now…they will pay dearly.

Suddenly, the image of Harry Potter came into view right in front of his reptilian body. "Harry Potter," he hissed and starting slithering towards him.

"Say goodbye, Harry," he hissed evilly as he neared Harry. Harry looked up.

"Ginny, do you hear something?" he asked the red-haired girl nervously. "I'm not sure if I heard right, but I think I just heard Voldemort hissing to me in Parseltongue."

Ginny gave him an incredulous look. "Harry, Voldemort's gone. And _you_ were the one who actually defeated him, you should remember this…"

"Yeah…it can't be Voldemort. Things would get way too complicated if it was. Besides, what was I thinking? Voldemort alive? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed and returned to testing Ginny's potions.

Voldemort slithered out of the nearby bush he had hid in and slowly approached Harry. Just as he reached Harry's leg and opened his mouth to bite, a foot came crashing down on his body, squashing him painfully. Voldemort let a choked yell (snake-yell, if you will) and curled into a ball, writhing in agony.

"Ginny! I definitely heard something this time!"

Ginny looked perplexed. "Harry, are you hearing things again? I didn't hear anything…"

After a moment's contemplation, Harry shrugged and turned back to Ginny. "…….Must've been my imagination, then."

"Are you sure you're alright, Harry? Did somebody put a spell or something?"

"No, I guess I'm just going senile. Ha! Me, Harry Potter, a senile seventeen-year-old who hears Voldemort even after everyone knows he's dead," Harry laughed idiotically. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Just then, a pair of hands scooped the snake up and tossed him unceremoniously in a pile of dirt. Voldemort hissed angrily.

"I did all that work and brewed that godforsaken potion so you could come back temporarily for _this_?" came the familiar voice of Severus Snape.

"Why, yes, Severus," Albus Dumbledore answered. "Defeating Grindlewald was only the starter course…I, like all humans, wanted more," he finished philosophically.

Snape sighed. "Can I set him on fire, then?"

"No. You don't have the skills," Dumbledore replied. As Snape huffed indignantly, Dumbledore smiled and muttered quietly, "Heh. You just got owned by a dead two-hundred-year-old."

Pop. A fire appeared and began engulfing Voldemort's body.

Pop. Only a few yards away, Harry turned into a whale.

Pop. Various areas of Voldemort's Horcrux body started to explode with the spell Snape had snuck in under Dumbledore's nose.

Pop. Ginny, in visible distress, accidentally turned Harry into a sea urchin.

Pop. The snake's head flew off.

Pop. Harry managed to turn back into a human, albeit looking slightly heavier than before.

Whoosh. Voldemort's soul disintegrated into the air.

Rumble. Harry sighed. Even the Giant Squid was laughing at him.

Snape looked at the dead, burnt body of the snake Voldemort had inhabited. "Well…that was fast, wasn't it? Compared to how the students destroyed the other Horcruxes in long, lengthy hours, I'd have to say you need the professionals to pull a good job, wouldn't you agree, Dumbledore?"

He turned to look at Dumbledore, but in his place, there was simply air. Snape sighed. "…Fine. I hope you're happy now, old man…"

Harry shook the water out of his hair as he turned heatedly to Ginny. "I'm telling you, I'm really hearing things! First I hear Voldemort hissing about killing me in Parseltongue! Then I hear this weird yelp! Then I hear a crackle of a fire! Then I hear pops all over the place! And now, I'm hearing _Snape_!"

Ginny laughed. "Oh, come on, Harry! It's highly unlikely that all those things would actually happen! I mean, Snape, _outside_? You've got to be joking."

After a moment's pause, Harry laughed as well. "Yeah, you're right. Who was I kidding, Snape outside? And Voldemort coming back and killing me? Those things would never happen here! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he and Ginny laughed together as they obliviously returned to the potions.

----------

"Secrets……everyone has them. Secrets are hidden so deep in a person, one might even die for them," Anthony Goldstein narrated in a misty, sagacious voice. "Secrets…are the bane of our dramatic lives."

Whack.

"Anthony, what are you doing? Are you trying to con those third years again?" Pansy sighed, exasperated. She put down her rolled up newspaper that she hit Anthony with. "You lot, away," she commanded imperiously as she yanked Anthony off the throne-like chair he was perched on.

"I wasn't trying to con them," Anthony said defensively. "I was trying to make some pocket money by educating them in the ways of the world - "

"Pocket money?" Pansy repeated. "Anthony, as soon as your father dies, which I suspect is in the offing, you'll inherit all his money and two estates in Chelsea and Vienna. Besides, you're getting quite a hefty sum every month…"

"Yeah, well, greed is pretty evident in man."

Pansy rolled her eyes. "...It's useless arguing with you - I already know you're going to kiss me somewhere in the conversation."

Anthony leaned closer to her. "So you've finally caught on - "

BOOM.

Mandy opened the door to the girls' dormitory, coughing and fanning the air around her. "Nothing to worry about, chaps! Everything's fine in here," she wheezed, closing the door just as the first tendrils of smoke started to escape the room.

Pansy and Anthony simply stared.

----------

"Students, I would like to welcome an former teacher back into our staff. He had taught at Hogwarts for many years, and I'm sure all of you hold fond memories of him," Professor McGonagall said, looking as if she had swallowed a frog. "Everyone, Professor Snape," Professor McGonagall said, clapping weakly. The tables were silent with shock. Then the Slytherins broke out into smattering applause and the Ravenclaws joined in hesitantly.

The Gryffindors were, simply put, frozen in shock. After the Hufflepuffs uncharacteristically 'booed' Snape, they awoke to their senses.

"BOO!" the entire Gryffindor table yelled, banging on the table and making the loudest ruckus they could. _"BOO!"_ Interestingly enough, Professor McGonagall didn't even bat an eyelash in their direction.

"He's back?!" Ron yelled. "What the hell? I thought he ran away for a reason!"

"I thought he was gone for good!" Lavender Brown joined in.

"I thought he was dead!" a fourth year shouted, trying to fit in. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"That's a wrong assumption, youngling."

"I am pleased to say that I am resuming my position as Potions Master," Snape said silkily, standing up. The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs booed loudly again. "Professor Slughorn has happily resigned and Potions classes will be resuming with me as your teacher Monday. Be prepared," he finished sinisterly and sat down, tucking into his stew.

"Be prepared," Ron muttered angrily as he dragged Hermione out of the Great Hall by the arm. "He's going to slaughter us!"

"That's about right," Hermione replied nonchalantly. "But all you have to do is to use the weekend to cram half a year's worth of potions that you've learned _from the Prince_," she said pointedly, "and you'll pass whatever Snape has in store for us!" she finished cheerfully.

"Easy for you to say," Ron protested. "You're the one with the robot mind!"

"I am not - wait, you're a wizard. How do you know about robots?"

"Dad made me take a course in Muggle Studies over the summer," he shrugged. "Anyway, help me study? You know I can't pass whatever he's planning on my own," he said, making puppy dog eyes at Hermione. "And besides, you're the smartest person at Hogwarts. And you're responsible, and kind, and - "

Hermione sighed and checked the clock. "Fine. But only until four. Draco's giving me a flying lesson!" she giggled, eyes glazing over.

"Oh, how sickeningly sweet," Ron muttered.

Hermione lost her dreamy look. "You're just jealous, Ronald, that you don't have someone who can give you flying lessons and buy you jewelry and dresses and take you out on romantic dinners," she snapped.

"Well, have you experienced any of those things, besides the flying one?" Ron snapped back.

"No," Hermione admitted. "But I'm going to!"

"Yeah, we'll see about that," Ron mumbled under his breath. Hermione grabbed him by the ear.

"What did you say?" she demanded.

Ron grimaced in pain. "Nothing," he answered sulkily.

----------

"SNAPE'S GOING TO BE A TEACHER AGAIN?!" Harry bellowed, nearly blasting Neville Longbottom off his feet with the sheer force in his voice. "HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID THAT HAPPEN!?"

"Now, now, Harry, calm down," Ginny said nervously, looking apprehensively at the crowd that was starting to form around them. "Don't want to make a scene here…"

"Oi, Potter!"

Harry turned around and nearly ran straight-on into Theodore's neck. (Yes, he's that short…)

"I suppose you heard about Snape's return," Theo said lazily, idly flicking a stray strand of hair away from his face. "Looks like life is really back to normal."

"I guess," Harry said tersely. "Bet you're really happy about this - "

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Theo wondered, while examining his nails, looking bored. "Snape's been through major changes in his life over the past year; he's not going to be the same person."

"So you mean there's a possibility that on Monday, he gives us a test like the one Lockhart gave us?" Ginny asked skeptically.

Theo shrugged. "It's possible. With war, anything can happen."

"He's right, you know." Morag MacDougal appeared out of nowhere and joined Theo. "For all we know, Snape could be fooling us with that scary-man act at lunch."

"...Or maybe _you're_ fooling us," Ginny said shrewdly. "Maybe you're getting us all loosened up for Snape on Monday. See, we'll think that everything is going to be all whoop-de-doo-dy, but when we walk into the dungeons, he hits us bad! And then, BANG!" she shouted, startling the three men. "He murders us all! And then we all sob in a corner, wondering who the hell sent Snape back to Hogwarts! And then, BANG!"

The three waited for an elaboration.

"…And then?" Morag finally prompted. Ginny looked confused.

"Eh? Oh……Snape made someone explode. Really, I thought that was implied," she said, shooting an accusatory look at Harry, as it was his fault.

Morag contemplated this. "I'm a bit scared. I mean, now that you mention it, this might actually happen - "

BANG.

Harry, Morag, and Theo all jumped five feet in the air and looked at Ginny with wide eyes.

"Snape's on the warpath already?!" Harry asked, sounding terrified out of his wits.

"RUN!" Theo screamed, sprinting for Hagrid's hut. Harry and Morag dashed after him.

Ginny stared after the three with incredulity. "This must be why we need psychologists…"

The sound of a window opening from one of the castle's towers reached Ginny's ears. "Whew!" Blaise Zabini sighed, fanning the smoky air around him. "Hey, Ginny! You alright down there?"

"Yup!" Ginny called up. "Harry, Morag, and Theo had a little bit of a shock, but overall, it's going great!"

Blaise flashed her a thumbs up and then his head disappeared back into the room.

Ginny shook her head furiously. "…All that smoke…and Blaise in Mandy's room with only his head peeking out…and his hair was looking messy, too…" She turned away and began walking briskly towards Hagrid's hut, slapping herself gently on the cheeks (not the ones you perverts were thinking about). "Stop, Ginny. No more dirty thoughts. Clear your mind…you're only sixteen…"

----------

"I spy with my little eye…….something pink," Draco said, twiddling his thumbs and looking up at the ceiling. Hogsmeade had been temporarily postponed by the Ministry of Magic to Sunday, and a Hogsmeade-less Saturday with no homework, no studying, and no fighting the forces of evil was bland and simply _boring_.

"Smething pink?" Hermione repeated, sitting up on the couch. "Are you sure? After all, this is the _Slytherin_ Common Room…"

"Something pink," Draco said again.

"Hmm…pink…" Hermione mused.

BANG.

CRASH.

BOOM.

"What the (beep) was that?! The (beep)ing ending of time?! (beep) it, Mandy, we're in deep shit!"

"Shut the (beep) up! We're already (beep)ed up!"

"You (beep)ing idiot, there's someone trying to (beep)ing listen at the (beep)ing door! Shut the (beep) up!"

The door opened. "Hello, Hermione, Draco," Mandy said coolly.

"Don't mind us," Blaise said just as calmly. "We're just conducting a few experiments for the Wizarding World's general good." Then, just as swiftly as they had opened the door, Blaise and Mandy slammed it shut in Draco and Hermione's faces.

"Well…..that was rude!" Hermione said indignantly. She pounded on the door. "You (beep)ers better shut the (beep) up in there, or I'll really get mad and (beep)ing kill you!"

"Yeah! And I'll…………………" Draco trailed off, at a loss for words.

"He'll (beep)ing beat the (beep) out of you, too! So watch your (beep)ing backs, (beep)ers, and don't make any more (beep)ing noise!" Hermione yelled, kicking the door for good measure. As she stormed down the staircase to the boys' dormitories, Draco followed her meekly.

"Hermione…….I never realized you knew so many four-lettered words," he commented, looking frightened.

"Well, it's just the same four-lettered word used over and over again," Hermione said, without a hint of the ranging monster she was a few seconds ago. She sat down on the couch. "So what's pink? I admit defeat…but I really don't think there's anything pink in this room."

Draco dropped down next to her on the plush velvet couch. "Well," he said huskily. "Your face is pink now…your lips are pink………..but what I saw was pink was……" he leaned closer to Hermione and whispered something very softly into her ear. Hermione turned pinker, if that was possible.

"How did you know that?" she demanded. "Do you go into my room and watch me put on my clothes?"

Draco smirked. "Perhaps……I, too, have an Invisibility Cloak and a broomstick."

"Invisibility Cloak I'm not sure about, but broomstick…yeah," Hermione purred, drawing him down for a slow kiss.

A few minutes later and some scuffling noises later, Hermione peeked out from the top of the couch. "Er…Draco? You know there's a portrait of a man on the wall that was openly ogling at us?"

Draoc sat up immediately. "WHAT?" As soon as he saw the portrait, he sighed with relief. "Oh, that's just Phineas Nigellus. Former Headmaster of Hogwarts. He's always demanding us to enlarge our Playwizard magazines and place it in front of him, so don't be worried. He's a pervert by nature."

Hermione looked disturbed. "That is…………..anyway, I'm going back to Gryffindor Tower. Are you coming? she asked pointedly. "Oh, wait…you can't. Sorry, but I promised Ron I would study with him in the library at one-thirty," she said, reaching for her Gryffindor tie which hung askew on a chair.

"Wait a minute, you're choosing Weasley over me?" Draco asked in disbelief.

"...Uh, _yah_," Hermione said. "After all, he doesn't have a portrait of a raunchy old man hanging around somewhere."

Draco frowned. "Yes, he does. He keeps a picture of his great-grandfather, possibly the greatest pervert of the 19th Century, in his trunk in the dormitory."

"How do you know this stuff about us? Do you really stalk us or something?" Hermione demanded. As Draco opened his mouth to answer, she quickly held a hand up. "Wait, never mind. I don't want to know. Just……just don't sneak into my room at night and take all my underwear, alright?"

Draco looked perplexed. "Sure…but why?"

"Eh," Hermione replied eloquently. "I'll tell you some other time. But now, I'm going to be late for_ studying_. I'll see you later, alright?"

As Hermione left the room, Draco turned back to the portrait of Phinneas Nigellus. "Hey, old geezer, you're a thousand years old! You don't go around checking out seventeen-year-old girls, particularly the seventeen-year-old who is my _girlfriend_!" he screeched girlishly.

Phinneas Nigellus chuckled. "Oh, but if I had my way, she won't be your girlfriend for long…" he giggled.

"...Freakin' old perverts," Draco muttered as he exited the room.

BANG!

"You know, this is really getting old," Draco called to Blaise and Mandy.

"We know!" they answered merrily. "But we're still young so it all balances out!"

"Sometimes I wonder how you two even passed Arithmancy, not to mention Advanced Arithmancy," Draco sighed and closed the door behind him. A 'boom' was heard and he sighed again. "Rationality, Draco," he reminded himself. "You will not go back in there and rip off their heads," he muttered, just as he ran right into a very familiar-looking person.

"Draco……are you talking to yourself again?" Daphne Greengrass asked. Draco gaped. "…Are you alright? Mentally stable?"

"I'm - I'm - fine," Draco managed out. "Er…hello, Daphne. I, er, haven't seen you in a while."

"Damn right you haven't," Daphne muttered. "Anyway, Drakiekins - "

" - Don't call me that," he interrupted. Daphne sighed.

"Fine, _Draco_. Anyway, as you know, the HUB is in a little more than a month, so let's go to Hogsmeade tomorrow and go shopping. I still haven't gotten a dress, you know," she said, smiling broadly at Draco.

"No thanks," he replied coolly. Daphne looked surprised.

"Oh, come on! We can make it a date!"

"No. Hermione already told me everything, so I'm not believing anything you say. And, as of right now, we are officially over, Daphne," Draco said steadily. "I broke up with you at the beginning of this year, but you've been hanging onto me like we didn't. It is over now. OVER," he enunciated loudly and began walking away. Clapping from inside the common room could be heard as he finished his statement.

"Well, what about the earring?"

Draco turned slowly around. "What about the earring?"

"The earring," Daphne repeated, her eyes shining with triumph. "How do you explain that? If your precious Hermione was really the one who danced with you at the Yule Ball...then why do _I_ have the earring?"

Draco was silent for a moment as Daphne mentally basked in her victory. Then he stalked away, his polished shoes making a loud echo on the stone floor.

Daphne silently watched him turn the corner. Then she grinned, showing all her sharp, pointy teeth.

"...My dear Hermione, it seems I have a full house."

----------

A/N - Please give a round of boos to Daphne Greengrass, who is back in the house!

Next chapter: Hogsmeade's weekend! With Draco, Hermione, and Daphne all in the same shop, will disaster strike? Or will Ernie recite another monologue?

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Please review!

- Lily in a Pond


	30. The Insanity Ward

Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Thirty

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: It's nearly the end of the story! Cut me some slack here!

---------

"The Diary of Theodore Edmund Nott: A Collaboration of Articles About a Genius," Hermione read in a flat voice, examining the cover of a small black book she had spotted under Theo's gold throw pillow.

Ron snorted. "More like the Crazed Ramblings of a Delusional Lunatic Who Has Absolutely No Creativity for Hiding Places." He, Draco, Pansy, Mandy, Harry, Hermione, and Blaise were seated on Draco's bed in the Slytherin dormitory.

"Should we read this?" Hermione asked. Everyone stared at her. "Well, this could have some personal information that Theo doesn't want anyone to know about," she amended. Everyone continued staring at her. "It's unethical!" she protested. Six pairs of eyes drilled into her. "Fine, fine, we'll read it…"

Blaise plucked the book out of Hermione's fingers and starting reading aloud. "Year One: 365 Days of Beginnings."

"Oh, that was a really good title," Mandy commented. "I think Theo has a future in writing."

"Or calendar advertisements," Harry said seriously.

Blaise ignored the two. "_I'm on the Hogwarts Express, sitting in a compartment with Draco Malfoy - he's such a pompous git - Pansy Parkinson - biology has failed her on her nose; her parents both have perfectly lovely noses - Daphne Greengrass - she's quite cute, but I haven't heard a squeak from her yet - Morag MacDougal - what is wrong with that boy, he just claimed he saw the Thames River; we're in _Scotland _- and Blaise Zabini - his happiness is simply too much for me to bear_…" he trailed off dejectedly, a shadow crossing over his eyes. Draco and Pansy looked livid.

"Biology failed me on my nose?!" Pansy shrieked, nearly in tears. Mandy wrapped a comforting arm around her.

"Pompous git?! Oh, you _knave_…" Draco growled, cracking his knuckles.

"Er…perhaps I should take over from now?" Harry suggested. The three Slytherins nodded mutely. "Ahem. _The Trolley Lady's just passed us now and we've all bought our snacks. Draco has been _- ah, you may not want to hear this bit - _and Pansy is a right _- oh, no, not that either. _I've been mostly talking with Morag MacDougal and Daphne Greengrass, who seems to be growing prettier by the second. She's quite interesting as well; she has a deliciously evil personality. I hope we get to Hogwarts soon. This trip is exceeding my limits of patience. Ah, I see lights. I suppose we should change now._"

"Theo is getting a pounding when we see him," Draco said stonily. Pansy and Blaise nodded.

"A big pounding," they chorused.

"_I'm in the Great Hall now, waiting to be Sorted. The Great Hall is large, but not as big as my mansion. Oh, the Sorting's started now. Some foddy-looking boy just got sorted into Ravenclaw…I think the blonde girl before him went to Hufflepuff - I can see why, no one except for a Puff would wear pigtails nowadays - a smart-looking girl with big hair and teeth just got Sorted to Gryffindor…oh, Daphne's been Sorted to Slytherin, though that was expected… hmm, Neville Longbottom…he's an interesting one; I thought for sure he was going to be in Hufflepuff, but I suppose he must have some bravery to be in Gryffindor…ah, Malfoy's a Slytherin as well, that was expected also…hmm, Potter? As in Harry Potter? Well, I did hear from Malfoy that he was coming this year. I must pay attention to this_…"

"I didn't have big hair and teeth, did I? " Hermione asked quietly. Everyone looked at each other.

"No, you didn't," Mandy said, smiling falsely. "Your teeth may have been a little on the large scale, but your hair was certainly……er…manageable."

Hermione smiled, satisfied. "Okay, carry on then, Harry."

"Alright. _I hate all the boys in our year. There's Malfoy, Zabini, Goyle, Crabbe, and MacDougal. Crabbe and Goyle have got to be the stupidest pair of idiots I have ever met_ - "

"Right on," Mandy and Pansy said in unison, punching the air.

" - _and Malfoy and Zabini are unbearable. The only person who seems interesting enough and not perpetually happy in this dormitory is Morag MacDougal. I suppose he's good enough_ - blah, blah, blah, more crap about you guys, blah, blah, blah, ah, here we go. _We had our first flying lesson and I was scared to death. I've only been on a broom once, and that was when I was little. To make it worse, Malfoy kept taunting me about my flying skills, saying I was no more than a worthless Muggle. Then I fell off my broom and everyone started laughing. Even those tensed up Gryffindors who, only a moment ago I remember, were scared to death about their beloved Potter getting kicked out. I don't think I'll ever fly on a broom again. Frankly, it's quite terrifying. Besides, I'm not good at it either, so I suppose I'll just stow away that Nimbus 2000 in my closet and hope Malfoy doesn't steal it_."

They were silent as Harry finished the entry.

"Blimey…………I never knew…." Draco whispered. The door opened. Theo walked in, whistling a happy tune, and stared at the group.

"What's with the sad faces? Did Pansy's dog die……again?"

They looked at each other, and then at Theo. Theo looked perturbed.

"What happened?"

Pansy smiled weakly at Theo. "Theo………….WE LOVE YOU!" she wailed, throwing herself at Theo, hugging him tightly. Everyone followed the gesture, smothering him underneath a blanket of embraces.

"WE LOVE YOU, THEO!"

Hermione stared incredulously at the teary group hug. "…What is wrong with you people? This happened six years ago! And why did everyone hug him like that? You're all seventeen now, act your age!"

"Oh, Hermione, it's you that's not acting your age!" Ron chided from the hug. "Join us, and love Theo!"

Hermione blinked. "…I'd rather not." She checked her watch. "Anyway, we should go now…we should go up to the Entrance Hall if we want to go to Hogsmeade." She walked out of the room. Moments later, she came back in, huffing, "Did you not hear me? If we want to go to Hogsmeade, we have to leave now! Come on, let's go! Or do you all want to show up at the ball, wearing your undergarments?"

"Why don't we obey what the woman says?" Ron suggested nervously. "Come on, troops, hustle!" The circle of students hugging Theo slowly moved down the stairs, amazingly not colliding with anything or anyone.

"And remember," Mandy called. "WE LOVE YOU, THEO!"

----------

Ernie Macmillan and Justin Finch-Fletchey were sprawled on the ground, looking up at the bright sign that read 'One Magical Night' in neon letters.

Justin patted the slightly damp ground with his gloved hand. "I'm getting a major déjà vu," he commented.

"Agreed. It's strange, but I feel like I've been in this exact same position before."

"Same here!"

"…Hey, I've got a funny feeling Hannah and Susan are going to arrive right - about - now - "

"Hey, guys," Hannah Abbott said above them, peering down into their faces. "Why are you on the ground?"

"The stupid store chucked us out," Ernie replied sourly, remembering his bruise.

"What did you do to get thrown out?" asked Susan Bones, appearing next to Hannah.

"Apparently, we were born with a pe – "

"Ah! I get it!" Susan said hastily.

"Hey, why don't you guys go in with us?" asked Justin, pointing to the store.

"Why?"

"Because…….because……..I don't know, really," Justin said, confused. "I think I just had a sudden urge to say that sentence…"

"Déjà vu again?" Ernie asked as he and Justin followed Hannah and Susan to the store.

"Definitely," Justin confirmed.

Across the street, Anthony Goldstein, Orla Quirke, Terry Boot, and Lisa Turpin, laden with shopping bags, staggered into the Three Broomsticks just as Harry, Hermione, and Ron came out.

"Oh, hello there!" Orla said cheerfully. "I thought you weren't going to Hogsmeade this time."

"Yeah, well, at around three this morning, Harry and I woke up at the same time and screamed 'we don't have dress robes' to the entire world…Susan Bones informed me the Hufflepuffs heard it down by the kitchens, and so did the Slytherins in the dungeons. Did you by any chance hear it?"

Orla stared at Ron. "That was _you_?! Everyone in our dormitory thought a wolf had somehow gotten into Hogwarts!"

Ron sighed. "Well, it's nice to know what the school thinks of our voices. I'll see you around, then."

"She's becoming quite talkative around you, Ron," Hermione commented as they strolled down the streets of Hogsmeade.

"…So?"

"Well, Orla Quirke usually doesn't talk to anyone, especially boys. I wonder what made the difference for you?" Hermione said slyly.

Ron stopped dead in his tracks. "Hermione! Now you're one of them!"

"One of whom?"

"One of _them_!" Ron yelled, flapping his arms wildly. "Everyone is trying to fix me up with someone! Morag MacDougal stuck me and Lisa Turpin in a room, Mandy Brocklehurst introduced me to her cousin, Blaise tried to set me up with Millicent Bullstrode - though I think that was a joke - and even Daphne Greengrass, who would normally never _think_ of talking to me, shoved her sister in my face! Has everyone _forgotten_ about someone named Lavender Brown?!?!?! _She _is the one I like, _she_ is the one I want, and _she_ is the one I'm going with to the ball! Not Lisa Turpin, Melody Brocklehurst, Millicent Bullstrode, Diana Greengrass, or some random girl! I - want - Lavender!" he shouted. As he turned away form Harry and Hermione, chest heaving, a blur of pink tackled him to the ground.

"Ron! I never knew you felt this way! I want you, too, and - mmph!"

"...Oh."

"My."

"GOD!" Hermione exploded. "They _cannot _just start making out in the middle of the street! People are _walking_ here!"

"Hermione…" Harry said carefully. "Er…why don't we go into the dress shop? We do need to get our outfits for the ball."

Hermione looked a bit ruffled as she detached her eyes from the nearly pornographic scene Ron and Lavender were making. "Yes, let's do that. We'll just leave Ronald and Lavender here. _To rot in shame!"_ she finished vehemently.

"Er…yes, that would be…….morally correct," Harry said, looking puzzled as he finished his statement.

"Goodbye, Ronald!" Hermione called loudly. "We'll see you soon! When you're on the cover of _Playwitch_…" she muttered.

----------

"Why, oh gods, _why_ does that girl need to try on a million dresses and complain to me about them all?" Draco moaned to Blaise, who had his feet propped up comfortably on another chair. "I mean, can't she just pick one and stop bitching about it?! Is the world really going to end if they don't have the Bolce and Habbana Pink Coiffeur dress in a size one?"

Blaise looked surprised. "Daphne's that skinny? Honestly, the girl is five feet ten inches. What does she eat, ice cubes?"

Draco shrugged. "I've never actually seen her eat in general."

Daphne came out of the dressing room in a flurry of green ruffles. "How does this one look, Drakie?"

"Pretty," he replied in a monotone. "Ugly," he added as soon as Daphne was out of earshot.

Blaise rolled his eyes. "I'm going to the Three Broomsticks. D'you want me to get you a Butterbeer there?"

"Get me a Firewhiskey on the rocks," Draco commanded. "By the end of today, I'll need to down my sorrows in alcohol."

"Fair enough," Blaise replied. "Oi! Mandy! Stop goggling at those leather pants, let's go!"

"Wait!" Draco said, clutching onto the sleeve of Blaise's robes. "Tell Mandy I'm going to kill her tonight in her sleep. If she hadn't dragged you into here, you wouldn't have dragged _me_ into here and I wouldn't have run into Daphne. So…..tell her that."

"Will do," Blaise nodded.

"DRAKIE! Can you come in here for a minute? I need some help fastening my bra!"

Blaise retracted his steps back to Draco, his eyes wide open. "…She's using _sex_ as a weapon?!"

Draco stared him down. "Daphne Olivia Greengrass will use _anything _as a weapon."

"I can't believe you're not going in there…if it was me, my shirt and pants would be on the floor by now," Blaise said. "But then again, I suppose I have obligations, too. Mandy'll definitely hex me to hell and back ten times if she found out," he said glumly. "Oh, well! I get to play drinking and kissing games with her during the next hour! And you get to sit here listening to your ex-girlfriend who, by the way, has not yet grasped the fact that your relationship has _ended_, ramble on and on and on about dresses in all sorts of different designs and colors! You can't escape, you can't call for wine, and you can't even play Solitaire! Oh, and while you're at it, you might be interested to know Hermione's here as well. Have fun!" he finished cheerily, taking the hand of Mandy Brocklehurst and proceeding to frolic out the door.

The saleswoman leaned towards Draco. "I pity you."

"Well, don't we all!" Draco snapped. He was rewarded with a slap across the head. "Hey, you work here! You can't hit a customer - oh, good afternoon, my dear sweet Hermione who I have absolutely no trace of anger or annoyance at," he said nervously. "…How are you?" he asked tentatively.

"Peachy," Hermione replied, her glare disappearing. "I was just dropping by to pick up my dress. It's easier to do it this way than to let them deliver it by Owl Post…the dress could get crinkled, for goodness' sakes."

"So…what are you doing here? Don't tell _you're_ buying a dress," she said flatly. Draco snorted.

"Never."

"Miss Hermione Granger?" the saleswoman called. "Here's your dress."

Hermione rose up from her seat next to Draco. "Ah, thank you. Here it is," she said to Draco. "My absolutely beautiful dress……I admit, it was definitely worth the fifty galleons I paid for it."

"Fifty galleons? That's half the money I get every month from my mother."

"Well, I'm not rolling in gold like you, so I had to use a year's worth of savings for this dress."

"I see. May I look at it?"

Hermione held the dress protectively to her chest. "No. It's supposed to be a surprise for my date and I don't want to start blabbing about it."

Draco barely heard the second half of that sentence. "Your………DATE?!"

Hermione looked only mildly surprised at his outburst. "Well, since Daphne doesn't seem to be getting over the shock anytime soon, I figured I'd go with Neville and make your life easier. And come on," she laughed, looking at the mixture of confusion, anger, and shock on Draco's face, "it's only one ball. I don't even have to dance with him for the entire night and I'll definitely save you a dance."

"But….but…but…but what about _us_? And all that lovey-dovey crap?" Draco sputtered out. "The whole 'it's always been you' thing! What happened to that?"

"It's only one ball," Hermione repeated. "As long as we end up together in the long run, I think I can handle one ball without you, Draco. It's all right," she said reassuringly and stroked his hair affectionately. "It's all right - "

The door to the dressing room opened and Daphne stepped out, looking nauseating in a sunshine yellow dress weighted down with pearls. "Hello, Granger. Draco and I are in love and I'm glad you're accepting this all very well. And for the record, you and Draco are never going to end up together 'in the long run'," she mimicked childishly. "Draco and _I_ will be together." As Hermione opened her mouth to protest, Daphne let loose a wild cackle, throwing her head back.

Hermione stared and then rounded on Draco. "Are you insane? _She's _insane!"

"Well - "

"She is out of her mind! See, this was why I told you we needed to give her some time to calm down and accept reality. Otherwise, she'll turn out like this!"

"You and Draco will never be together! As long as I'm living, you will never have a chance at him! Never!" Daphne screamed, tears now rolling down her face.

"Have you noticed that when she's being insane, she pronounces 'never' like 'ne-vahhhhhh'?" Draco asked. Hermione ignored him.

Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchey, heading towards the dressing rooms, stopped dead in their tracks upon hearing Daphne and stared blatantly.

"…Should we call St. Mungo's?" Susan asked timidly. Justin nodded.

"Yeah…call the insanity ward."

"I AM _NOT_ INSANE! God, I am sick and tired of you people calling me that! My therapist calls me that, Professor McGonagall said that, Blaise said that, even Theo called me that! And just now, that stupid Mudblood actually had the decency to say that about me in my presence!" she shrieked.

"Get the Healer, Susan, get the Healer quick," Justin said nervously.

"What's going on?" Ernie Macmillan asked from behind Justin.

"Daphne Greengrass is having a fit of lunacy," a sixth year. Orla Quirke, standing nearby, snapped her fingers.

"That is a great phrase! Fit of lunacy, ah, pure genius, my friend!" she cried and scribbled it down in her notebook, which she seemed to carry around everywhere.

" - And you are just a stupid little Mudblood ho doesn't deserve Draco! I deserve him! You are the lowest, more pathetic thing on the planet, and what does he do? He loves you! Not me! _You! _Not me! _You! _Not me! _You! _Not - "

_"Stupefy!"_

Everyone stared at Hermione as she blew lightly across the tip of her wand. "The villains are just getting easier to defeat," she said nonchalantly and smiled brilliantly at the crowd.

"And so, my lady claims the victory of her rival! Methinks, what lies yonder the exterior of a lioness but the will of a spitfire! Forsooth! The world is at peace again!"

As everyone in the shop stared at him in awe and incredulity, Ernie sighed and muttered, "Deja vu again..."

----------

"Let me get this straight, once and for all. You're the girl I danced with at the Yule Ball."

Hermione laughed, rolling over on Draco's bed. "Yes."

"Your earring fell off during that ball."

"Yes…come of think of it, I never found it."

Draco shrugged. "It'll turn up when we graduate. Anyway, you were the girl who left her copy of 'Cinderella' in the Great Hall that one morning."

"Oh, that morning…when Blaise and Pansy pasted those posters all over the school…yes, but didn't it have my name on it? And come to think of it, I never got that back, too…"

"You were the girl who tasted the same flavor as me when we ate a bite of Luna Lovegood's carrot, thus making you the person I belong with."

"Yes."

"Hey, I don't think I got the carrot back…hmm, there's a lot of things we didn't get back," Draco mused. "Like my last extra-large ribbed condom, for one."

Hermione blinked slowly. "...Next one," she prompted.

"I don't think I have any more," Draco said, looking surprised.

"Oh, I have one!" Hermione exclaimed. "You are the person I'm going to the HUB with," she said softly.

Draco smirked. "Excellent. Now that Daphne's safely in her own little world at St. Mungo's, the world is finally safe from crazy bitches."

"Cheers," Hermione laughed as she held up a glass of water from Draco's nightstand. Draco grabbed Morag's.

"Here's to you, Mrs. Malfoy," he said jokingly.

Hermione smiled contently. "Here's to you, Mr. Malfoy." Their glasses clinked in perfect harmony.

----------

"DRACO. HERMIONE. WILL YOU TWO PLEASE COME DOWN FOR A MINUTE?" Theo's voice boomed from below the Slytherin boys dormitory.

Hermione looked worried as she straightened her shirt and skirt, but Draco placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm not sure it's nothing serious."

As they made their way down the stone staircase, Theo's unruly brown hair came into view.

He stood with his hands placed firmly on his hips and glared at them fiercely. "YOU READ MY DIARY?!?!?!"

----------

A/N - Next chapter, The House-Unity Ball!

Thanks to my reviewers, iamnotafreakingGOTH, LunaSky, Hotkat144, dreamingstar213, Ducky1414, White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, BeachBabeBrittany16, BlackDemonAngel, RoMaNTiCiLLuSioNS, Moni Jane, and Fnicks-Gurlz! You've been so good to me all along! I love you all!

Huggles and kissies

- Lily in a Pond


	31. The Final Moments

Once Upon a Hogwarts - Chapter Thirty-One

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: If you're actually reading this, be proud to know that someday you'll be a lawyer and reading stuff like this for money. Anyway, I don't own Harry Potter. (Wish I did, the amount of money gathered from the seventh book alone would be enough to keep me and my future prodigy comfortable.)

A/N - ARGH, DH totally screwed this story up…well, at least I can say it's completely AU now…

On a more serious note, this is the last chapter. I know I've said there will be an epilogue, but I just can't think of a better place to end this story but here. So, without further ado, the last and final chapter of Once Upon a Hogwarts.

Thanks to all the reviewers who've kindly taken the time to write down their thoughts on this story! You've been just wonderful to me and I appreciate it so much. Everyone gets cake!

----------

The month flew by in a flurry. Every day, new decorations were put on the castle's walls, floors, and ceiling. Girls were once again walking in packs, giggling every time someone mentioned a boy's name. Boys were looking furtively around, looking away and blushing whenever a girl returned his gaze. The house-elves were serving warm, delicious food, and many girls, reminiscent of Fleur Delacour, and Theodore Nott, reminiscent of a gay man, had sent in a complaint to Professor McGonagall asking for the removal of calorie-laden foods such as turkey and corn chowder. (Professor McGonagall had rejected the two petitions.) The band had been booked, and Hagrid, of all people, had managed to convince Celestina Warbleck to sing at the ball even though she had been previously busy for the evening. The house-elves had been put to work pruning the rose bushes in Hogwarts' gardens to perfect ovals. Rumor was that Professor McGonagall was going to set up a special snogging area there. The dress shops at Hogsmeade had nearly been ransacked as one hundred and fifty people, thirty demanding custom-made robes, stampeded into their shops. Everything had been inspected on arrival, polished till luster, and placed in the most perfect spot.

Everything was ready.

December twentieth dawned fresh and clear. Harry awoke to the sound of birds chirping. Putting his glasses on, he peered out of the window, hoping for snow, and gasped. Overnight, snow had fallen, and now, Hogwarts was covered with a light layer of sparkling snow. The endless mass of blinding white hurt Harry's eyes and he withdrew from the window.

"Ron." He prodded the snoring boy with his foot. "Ron, wake up!"

"Gehdefroozekep?"

Harry sighed. "Seamus, wake up!" he whispered to the boy on Ron's other side. "Seamus, it snowed!"

"…………The word of the day is 'legs.' Let's go back to my room and spread the word………" Seamus turned over onto his side. Harry stifled a horrified scream.

A red blur flew into the dormitory. "HARRY! RON! IT SNOWED OVERNIGHT!"

Ron woke up with a start. "Good morning to you, too, Ginny," he croaked grumpily. Ginny dismissed the comment.

"It snowed overnight, it snowed overnight, it snowed overnight! Oh, isn't this just perfect for the ball! We could have a beautiful winter wonderland with all the snow sprinkling outside and the windows covered in frost…icicles dripping down from the ceiling…and a billowing mass of whirling snow everywhere…"

"That's very nice and all, Ginny, but why are you here in our dormitory at five in the morning? It's a goddamn Saturday," Dean Thomas said. "If you look at it logistically, the ball ends at two, and everybody's going to go to the Ravenclaw after-party - we would've spent a full twenty-four hours on our feet!"

Seamus gave up trying to count on his fingers. "How does that work?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "We wake at five today. We sleep at five tomorrow."

"Ahhh…"

"I envy Neville," came Ron's muffled voice from his covers. "_He_ didn't hear you come into the room screaming and kicking up a mess, _he_ didn't hear the _very_ interesting speech about hours of sleep, and _he _can't hear me _yelling my head off!" _

"IT SNOWED!" Hermione screamed as she ran into the dormitory. She yanked Ron out of his bed and starting dancing merrily around the room with him. Harry cocked his head to the side.

"I feel _so_ loved."

"Aw," Ginny said and gave him a hug.

"Great," Seamus said. "Now can you hug and dance somewhere else? So we can be awake for twenty-_three_ hours?"

"Nice math work," Dean complimented.

"Thank you," Seamus smiled, looking touched someone had acknowledged his brain's functionality.

"Well, I guess we _should_ get back to our dormitory now," Hermione said, letting go of Ron's hands. "It wasn't very fair waking all of you up like that and besides, Parvati and Lavender's day of 'fun' - " she grimaced. " - is scheduled to start at eight, sharp. We should really get some sleep before all that goop is pasted on our faces…"

"Yeah, we'll get out of here before Dean and Seamus blow a capillary or two," Ginny smirked. "Ron, I hope Mum bought you nice dress robes this time," she laughed, running out of the dormitory and closing the door, just as a pillow hit it with a thunk.

"Stupid she-weasel," Ron muttered, sinking back into his covers. Seeing the boys' surprised looks, he shrugged. "If Malfoy can use it with success, so can I."

"She's your sister," Harry said.

"Yeah, well, that only adds to the joy…"

----------

"BOO!" Pansy Parkinson yelled. Draco shot up straight in his bed.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - !"

"Shut it, ferret!" Blaise threw a pillow forcefully in Draco's direction, knocking the normally well-groomed blond back into his bed. "Pansy, get out, people are trying to sleep here!"

_"Pish-posh!"_ Pansy sniffed. "Anyway, Draco, an owl delivered an early Christmas present from your mum last night to _my _dormitory." She wrinkled her nose in disdain. "I think she's trying to set us up or something…"

Draco groggily reached out for the package without opening his eyes. Feeling something soft, he grabbed it.

There was silence. And then -

"You PERVERT!"

Theo opened his eyes to see Pansy chasing Draco around the dormitory, smacking him with pillows and screaming bloody murder.

"What is the cause of this dreadful commotion at five freaking thirty in the morning?" Blaise moaned, pulling his covers over his head as Draco slipped on a pair of boxers Blaise had left on the floor and fell down in a heap on the floor. Pansy cackled triumphantly and beat him savagely with the pillow. "Pansy, didn't I tell you to get out?"

"I - don't - care!" Pansy laughed in between blows.

"They say Slytherins have insanity in their blood," Morag MacDougal rasped from the last bed on the right, reaching blindly for his water. "That's just been proven."

Theo sighed. "Pansy, Draco, what happened?"

"He groped me," Pansy yelled, pointing to her chest.

"Yeah, so? When people grope me, I don't complain," Blaise said.

"That's because you're a man-whore," Draco, Pansy, Theo, and Morag said at the same time.

Blaise raised his eyebrows. "Hey, Pansykins," he said innocently, "do you know Draco's looking up your skirt?"

Draco's mouth opened and closed as he stared in shock at Blaise. "_Oh, no you didn't_…you TRAITOR, I'm going to kill you - EEP! Pansy, not the nails! No, not the nails! Noooooooo!"

----------

At precisely six o'clock in the morning on December twentieth, a loud explosion was heard from the girls' dormitories in Ravenclaw Tower.

Mandy Brocklehurst was sitting in a rocking chair, giggling manically as she checked off a list written on, strangely enough, legal paper instead of parchment or Muggle binder paper. Beside her, her ivy wand was smoking slightly.

"Patent, check, infomercial, check, interviews, check, security measures - " here she let out a wild hyena laugh " - product manuals, check, actual product, check, contact information, check, established Floo connection, check…"

As Mandy continued checking off her list, the girls in her dormitory slumbered on. Over the past two months, the girls in the Ravenclaw dormitory and the boys in the Slytherin dormitory had all achieved immunity to loud explosive sounds coming from Mandy or Blaise's rooms. Either that or all of them were now deaf.

"This little bombshell is going to fetch me a pretty penny," Mandy snickered quietly. "Oh, Mandy, you sly dog!" As the sun rose and morning came, the girls continued sleeping and Mandy continued cackling.

----------

The gloomy, tired looks on the students' faces at breakfast contrasted greatly with the glittering snow gently falling down. Except for the Hufflepuffs, nearly everyone that morning wore the same withered expression.

"I hate you two," Ron muttered as Hermione and Ginny sat down next to him. "After you left, none of us could fall back asleep, so we just laid around and played Exploding Snap until seven."

Hermione's eyes were half closed as she listened to Ron. "Lavender and Parvati forced me to put on a facial mask before heading down to breakfast just now."

"Same here," said Ginny.

"How come we can't see it?" Harry asked dully.

"It's been Disillusioned. It's simply too ugly for the naked eye to see," Hermione said, dunking her head in maple syrup. Ginny yanked her out. "…Sorry, did something happen? Urgh, why am I so sticky?"

Ginny sighed, curling up against Harry's shoulder. "Maybe we should just sleep here…goodnight, everyone."

"Goodnight," Hermione replied facedown on the table. Ron took napkins and folded them to make a pillow-like object. "Goodnight," he echoed, lying down on the bench.

Over at the next table, the Slytherins were fighting the urge to sleep. As tired as they looked, they swore they would not fall asleep in public, like the shameless Gryffindors, and wait until breakfast was over to go to their dormitories and sleep the day away.

"Must. Have. More. Coffee," said Theodore Nott, draining his eleventh mug of the brew he had loaded with sugar.

Next to him, Pansy's head was bobbing up and down, moving each time she almost fell asleep. Draco was also doing this; his head lolling around and hair floating into his eyes every time he started to drift off. Morag was concentrating intently on bright colors, currently staring at the red and gold Gryffindor banner hanging in the Great Hall. Blaise Zabini was the only one actually sleeping at the Slytherin table. He had since long ago mastered the art of sleeping with his eyes open, and he was using it to a great extent.

The Ravenclaws weren't fairing any better. Though none of them had been awakened by the explosion, they still felt unnaturally tired (perhaps it was from the champagne party they held the previous night). Mandy Brocklehurst was continually reaching for the coffee pot as Lisa Turpin swallowed whole packets of sugar. Anthony Goldstein was sleepily staring at the fork he held in midair, jabbing himself in the face when he felt sleepy and his hand grew limp. Terry Boot was drenching his sausages in maple syrup over and over, never noticing that the sausage had slipped off his fork ten minutes ago. Even Orla Quirke, whose snowy-white quill was usually moving across her journal's pages at the speed of light, had resigned to use a Quick-Quotes Quill. The quill was now writing, 'Zzzzzzzzzz…'.

At the Head Table, Professor McGonagall started at her school in shock. She turned to Professor Jocular on her left. "This is what I get? I plan a ball for them and this is what I get! On the happiest day of their lives at Hogwarts, they're_ sleeping _during a meal!" she said indignantly, as if it was his fault.

"…Well, I did it all the time when I was a student here and you never got upset," Professor Jocular offered.

Professor McGonagall smiled and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Oh, I could never get angry at a boy who inherited my traits so obviously…"

Professor Jocular blanched. "Okay, now that is _gross," _he said in an undertone, turning away from Professor McGonagall. "And in public!" he whined.

"AHEM," Professor McGonagall said very loudly. "Students, some of you may have noticed that today is the twentieth of December. For those of you lucky few who are fourth year and above, or those who have an older date, please go back to your dormitories immediately. Those who will not be attending the ball tonight, please follow Hagrid. You're going to be doing a rather exciting Niffler exercise today." As half the students left the hall in Hagrid's large shadow, Professor McGonagall continued, "The rest of you have all day to prepare for the ball. The ball starts at eight and ends at two in the morning. Don't be late," she finished, gracing them with a rare smile.

"This is going to be rather exciting," Ginny said, looking a little bit more awake.

"I don't know about that," said Ron. "We, men and women, we think differently and act differently. I personally think this ball is going to be pretty boring."

"Don't let Lavender hear you say that," Hermione warned him. Ron scoffed.

"Hey, Ron, want to go play some chess upstairs?" Ginny asked. "We've got the whole day, anyway."

Hermione pursed her lips. "Ginny, we should use this precious time to study."

"No, you go to the library. Besides, I wouldn't want to intrude on your innocent little study session with the Great Albino Git."

"Hey, that spells 'gag'!" Ron exclaimed as Harry cocked an eyebrow.

"Malfoy must really love you to put up with all the obsessive studying, note-taking and book-memorizing, _and _study sessions in the library."

"Well," Hermione said loftily. "……Yeah."

----------

As they did not share a common room, Draco had agreed to meet Hermione down in the Entrance Hall, where many other couples were waiting for the now sparkling gold doors to open, at eight precisely. Hermione spotted his white-blond head the minute she stepped into the hall. Her eyes swept over his body appreciatively and she giggled uncharacteristically. Ginny smirked before she was whisked off by Harry to a discreet corner.

Hermione quickly bade farewell to Ron and Lavender (decked out in gray and purple, respectively) who had met each other in the Common Room. As she walked closer and closer to him, her heard started beating faster and faster.

Hermione took a deep breath and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hello."

Draco spun around. As soon as he saw her, his mouth began opening and closing rapidly. "Her - her - Hermione!" he choked out. He gave her a sort of half-grin, half-gape, half-smirk while stars seemed to be dancing in front of his eyes. "You look……….you're looking good," he managed out, rearranging his gray silk tie.

Hermione sighed happily. "Yes………sixty percent taffeta, forty percent silk, a luxurious cream cloth with accents of gold, white, and pink, pure gold embroidery, nine-hundred threat count, not to mention scalloped edges on the hemline and collar, and leg-of-mutton sleeves adorned with lace," she breathed, dollar signs spinning in front of her eyes. "Not too shabby for 'Mione," she said.

Blaise leaned over and took a good look at the couple. "Hey, Mandy, come over here - you've got to see this - Draco's seeing stars and Hermione's seeing money!"

The Ravenclaw girl, clad in deep cerulean robes, rushed over.

SNAP.

"…The perfect memento for your magical night," Mandy said, offering the photo that her camera had spat out a moment ago to Draco and Hermione.

The two shook away the images floating in front of their eyes. "Well, I don't know about that - "

"It's free of charge," said Blaise smoothly.

" - Oh, well, in that case, we'll take two copies," said Draco.

"Draco, my mate, you are a cheap little man. You've got three vaults at Gringotts for your amusement, and yet you covet free things…shame, shame."

"Why are you giving these to people for free?" Draco asked, abruptly changing the subject.

Blaise winked. "Well, my friend, Mandy and I'll be coming into a _lot_ of money near the beginning of next year, so think of this as a small payoff for all the pranks we've pulled on you. Besides, the photographs cost basically nothing compared to the amount of gold we're going to get…" Now Blaise was the one with dollar signs floating in front of his dazed eyes.

"One for the bookworm," Mandy was saying to Hermione, "and another for Mr. Bookworm," she said cheerfully.

Draco scowled. "The husband and wife jokes are getting old," he sneered.

"Honesty is a virtue," she intoned before Blaise swept her away. Draco and Hermione watched the bundle of blue silk and plum velvet dash around the room, asking people if they wanted their pictures taken.

"Well……I suppose the husband and wife jokes have a shred of truth to them," Hermione mumbled. "Er, not that I'm _suggesting_ anything or……or…" she trailed off. "But I suppose they're not all that ridiculous."

"Yes, yes, they're quite probable, actually," Draco added. "It's…er……it's believable. It's possible."

"It's more likely than Neville and I tying the knot," Hermione said, trying to lighten the mood. Draco laughed nervously.

"Yes………I mean, Mrs. Malfoy does sound quite nice, doesn't? Er…compared to Mrs. Longbottom."

Hermione nodded quickly. "Yes! Mrs. Malfoy has a lovely ring to it! Not that I'm _suggesting_……anything to do with rings…or marriage…"

Draco nodded as well. The two stood for quite a while before Hermione spotted Giny.

"Oh, look, there's Ginny! GINNY WEASLEY, GET OVER HERE!" She turned to Draco, chuckling nervously. "We can talk to Ginny!"

"Bathroom. Now," Hermione said. Ginny took one look at the identical expression etched on her and Draco's faces, and rolled her eyes.

"Hormones," she murmured scornfully before Hermione dragged her away.

Draco was left standing stiffly with Harry, looking equally uncomfortable, and not because of the tie.

"So, Potter……….how's the dangerous liaison going? Did Weaslette's brothers throw you in the fire yet?"

----------

"What is the matter with me?" Morag MacDougal wailed from a candlelit table overlooking the rose gardens. "I've tried dropping hints, I've tried asking her to the Ball, and I've tried asking her to dance! And I have been denied all of those!"

"Look, it's not your fault," the raven-haired girl sitting across him said gently. "Luna has a little problem with - er -romance. She's a bit clueless about that sort. It's not your fault at all - "

"But it _is_ my fault!" Morag moaned. "Sylvia, I wasn't tough enough to just go and ask her straight-out! Now she's dancing the night away with _Neville Longbottom _and looking like she's _enjoying_ it! Could it get any worse?"

"Well," Sylvia said, smiling gently, "she could be _kissing _him - "

"OH, IT JUST GETS WORSE, DOESN'T IT?"

"Honesty is a virtue."

"I have a question," Morag suddenly said, slipping out of his shroud of self-pity. "Do all Ravenclaws say that phrase or is it just you, Mandy, Terry, Anthony, Lisa, _and_ Luna?"

"No, it's inscribed on our door," Sylvia said. "Why?" she asked, looking genuinely interested.

Morag stared at her. "…Never mind."

"Well," Sylvia said, standing up and brushing off her sky blue robes, "I have to go. My date is waiting for me at the punch bowl.

"Wait!" Morag cried, grasping onto the soft blue fabric. "Don't leave! You're my only connection to Luna!" Sylvia raised her eyebrows. "Really, it's true! Mandy's gallivanting off with Blaise somewhere, Lisa and Terry are probably snogging the roses off the bushes now, and Anthony's occupied with Princess Pansy and her _Perpetually Peckish Problems!"_

Sylvia's eyebrows rose higher at the last bit. "All right……I'll stay. Besides, Dominic won't even notice I'm gone; I think he's a little bit preoccupied with talking to the Fat Lady and her friend Violet. Ah, Luna!" she smiled. "Where's Neville?"

"He went off to get some drinks," the blonde said nonchalantly, tucking her sunshine yellow robes under as she sat down. "Hello, Morag. Fancy seeing you here."

"Er…same here. Very, very surprised," said Morag. "Even more surprised to see you with Neville," he added in a more-than-audible mutter.

"Yes, well, he's actually quite brave once you get to know him. Did you know, only two days, he went to me in the library and asked me straightforwardly if I wanted to go to the Ball with him? Sure, it was last-minute and probably because he needed a girl to go with him, but it was just so lovely to finally meet a boy who won't chicken out in those situations," she finished, taking a sip of her Butterbeer and smiling cattily at Morag.

Morag gulped. "…Indeed."

Sylvia stared between the two. "So!" she said brightly, batting her eyelashes at the two unidentified people sitting at the table. "What are you doing here?"

Melody Brocklehurst scowled. "Diana and I just wanted to see what Mandy's been up to with that Blaise fellow," she sneered. "So, chill, Lennox - we're not going to disturb your precious novel-reading time."

"Excuse us for being overly pushy," Diana Greengrass added, sneering in the exact same way as Melody.

"Well, that's just fine," Morag said jovially.

"Sylvia?" Diana said, snapping the sixth year out of her fantasy world. "You might be interested to know your date, Dominic Cortez, is currently dancing to a slow song with that yellow-haired girl from Slytherin...what's her name again? It was something like - "

"Banana Brianna," Sylvia, Morag, and Melody chorused in unison.

"I hate that girl," Melody growled.

"She's such a phony," Morag added.

"And worst of all," Sylvia said. "She hates reading novels! Now, is that a crime or what?"

"Sylvie, are you alright with this?" Morag asked. "They're dancing rather close."

Sylvia waved a dainty hand nonchalantly in the air. "It's fine. I never really liked Dominic anyway, he always seemed a bit…"

"Needy?" Melody and Diana said. "Selfish? Whiny? Babyish? Perverted? Cheap? _Egoistic?" _they mock-gasped in horror.

Sylvia nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! All of the above!"

"So I suppose this is the reject's table," Luna said, the usual dreamy tone in her voice gone. When they looked at her in confusion (and two in annoyance), she pointed to the Great Hall. "Neville's dancing with Jenna Marie Rose, the tiny potions genius from Hufflepuff," she said, a miserable look slowly creeping onto her face. "They'll probably get married and have brilliant brown-haired, blue-eyed children who'll be Potioneers and Herbologists!"

Morag suddenly grasped Luna's hand. "Luna……….Neville's an idiot! He doesn't know what he's throwing away! You're beautiful - and - and - smart and witty - and - beautiful - talented and funny and - you're just……..perfect," he finished softly. "……..And…I…I love you for those reasons."

The dreamy look was slipping back onto Luna's face. "…And you're a buffoon, Morag, but I love you because of that."

"Luna," Morag breathed.

"Morag," Luna whispered, standing up, their fingers entwined.

"Luna - "

"Oh, just kiss her already!" Melody called, making kissing noises, Diana joining in a moment later.

Morag turned around slowly and glared at the two smirking girls. "I really hate you two." And then, without further ado, he spun back around and kissed Luna so hard the tips of her red shoes lifted off the ground.

"Were there Nargles?" Luna asked as they broke apart.

Morag looked bewildered for a moment. "…Sure! Anyway," he said quickly, changing the subject. "Care to dance?"

"True love," Sylvia sighed as the three girls watched Morag lead Luna onto the dance floor. "Now, back to reading!" she cheered as she pulled a well-worn copy of The Secret Garden.

Melody and Diana exchanged looks, and immediately left.

----------

"Harry……do you remember what I said last year about a Hungarian Horntail tattoo?" Ginny asked, green robes swishing as she sat down next to Harry at his table. Harry glanced worriedly at his girlfriend to check for mental instability, and saw Ginny grinning impishly.

"No…" he said apprehensively.

"Well," Ginny began, her grin widening, "I just informed Lavender and Parvati that it isn't on your chest after all - it's on the same place Ron's is."

"Ron's - oh, _no_. Ginny, you _didn't_," Harry groaned, putting his head in his hands. "You told them I had a bloody picture of a dragon tattooed _there_, of all places? How would that even work? First of all, it would hurt beyond belief! Second, I would have to take off my trousers and underwear and - " he blanched, thinking about it.

Ginny laughed. "Kidding, Harry. I just love your reaction to that - you're fooled _every single time_!" Harry scowled and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Don't be scared, little Ginnykins, but we're sitting next to you," a disembodied voice suddenly said. Harry almost jumped out of his chair, yelping like a little girl.

"Fred? George? Is that you?" Ginny asked, feeling the air around her. Two identical tugs on her curled hair made her retract her words. "I'm sorry, George, Fred, is that you?"

"Spot on, little sis," one of the twins said.

Harry, who had recovered from the initial shock, thumped his chest. "What are you two doing here?"

"Well, this is officially the first ball held ever since You-Know-Poo's been defeated," Fred (or was it George?) said breezily. "All the Pureblood families are hosting their grand balls on the twenty-fourth or twenty-fifth, merging it with Christmas."

"We're just popping in to check up on the…things…and see how our favorite sister's holding up with a dead-smoking hot celebrity so close to her!"

"Peachy," Ginny replied dryly. "Now, what are these things you mentioned?"

The twins sighed in unison. "Dear, _dear_ Ginny, you've got a knack for these things - "

"But the only thing we can say is - "

" - Even though we left Hogwarts, our legacy is still being passed down."

Harry and Ginny looked at each other in confusion, then gasped in unison. "MANDY AND BLAISE!"

"Sweet Merlin, kids these days are getting sharper and sharper!" one of the twins exclaimed in mock-surprise.

"Oh, look at the time - it's nine already! Bedtime, Georgie!" Fred said. The tablecloth rustled as the twins stood up and quickly dashed off.

Harry stared in horror at the place Fred and George had recently occupied. "Mandy and Blaise…bloody hell, Fred and George could bring a castle to its knees, but with the Siamese Twins, those four could take over the world!"

----------

Looking like the perfect image of serenity, Ron was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest, a scowl on his face, looking at Harry and Ginny, who was talking in low whispers with their heads pressed closely together, and Draco and Hermione, who were drinking cupful after cupful of punch at the table of refreshments. Lavender Brown, looking quite radiant in her purple robes, was paying more attention to her manicured nails than Ron.

"How's the next generation of Weasleys?" Hermione asked, giggling drunkenly as she plopped down next to Ron. Draco sat down heavily as well, sloshing the liquid in his cup.

"What is in that thing?" Lavender eagerly asked, grateful for the distraction.

"I have absolutely _no idea_," Draco said seriously. He then burst out into giggles. "Alcohol!" he gasped out, leaning on Hermione for support as he laughed insanely.

Ron rolled his eyes. "God, you two are drunk beyond belief! Control yourselves! You're not supposed to be having this much fun - "

"Well, it's better than having no fun at all!" Lavender shouted, knocking over her chair as she stood up. "You have been grumbling to yourself and staring at Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Malfoy all night! What is your _problem_? Can't you just put your stupid prejudices aside, and stop lurking? It's their lives, not yours, and you bloody well know it because they've yelled at you a thousand times, but you're never listened! And you haven't paid a single bit of attention ever since I came in! You are so inconsiderate, Ronald Weasley! I now regret my decision to come with you to the ball a hundred thousand times!" she screamed. "You - you're so oblivious! I pity the woman who'll marry you, because she's in for a rough lifetime of ignores and overblown tempers!" Turning on her heel, Lavender stalked off, leaving nothing but a cloud of dust behind her.

As Ron stared at the gardens, where Lavender had disappeared to, Parvati Patil came over and sat down in Lavender's vacated chair.

"You are a stupid, stupid man," she said, shaking her head disgustedly. "What is the matter with you? Are you really so thick you can't accept the fact that your sister is shagging your best friend, and your other best friend is dating your worst enemy?"

"You should be shunned among your peers for this," her date sat, sitting on the other side of Parvati. "First, Padma Patil, now, Lavender Brown? Bloody hell, Weasel, two of the prettiest girls in our year have gone with you to balls and you've done this to both of them! You truly take things for granted, don't you?"

"Spot on, Theo," Parvati said. "And I cannot believe you're actually thinking that just because you tell Lav you love her, she's going to run back into your arms, because relationships are not that easy! Everyone has to lose some. Ron…so far in this sham of what you can barely call a relationship, you've lost nothing, and Lavender's lost quite a lot."

"Why don't we leave you to think about that, and see if it actually gets through your tiny little brain," Theo sneered. "Come on, Parvati, let's show him what a real relationship is."

"Er, we should go, too," Hermione said awkwardly. "But you do need to think about that, Ron. It's very important, and if you ever want Lavender back, you need to think about it _a lot_."

"Well said, Mrs. Malfoy," Draco said loudly, standing up and clutching Hermione's arm tightly. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we have dancing to do! And you," he looked pointedly down at Ron, "have moping to do."

"Cheers!" Hermione called gaily before she was whisked off into the sea of colors.

Ron was snapped out of his stunned trance when Lavender threw herself unceremoniously onto the chair next to him.

"I'm not talking to you," she said before Ron could open his mouth.

"Oh, I know, but you just look so forlorn," he said, taking note of the rips on Lavender's dress and her slightly tangled hair. "What happened to you?"

Lavender huffed indignantly. "If I were talking to you, I'd say that I accidentally ran into a rose bush when I was trying to find a place to sob."

Ron stared at her and then burst out laughing. "Oh, Lavender, this is why I just love you so much! You get swept into so much trouble, and yet, you still find the time to amuse everyone!"

Lavender looked down. "It's not very funny."

"No, it is! You see, here's the thing. Every single time you say you don't love me anymore, you always find some way to come back into my life. You're like a pepper shaker - you'll always be together with the salt."

Lavender raised her eyebrows, a tiny smile forming on her face. "You are so wrong, Ronald Weasley - I always come back because somebody up there clearly hates me! I mean, you're stupid, and idiotic, and a buffoon, and tactless, and reckless, and thick beyond belief, and dimwitted, and - "

She was suddenly cut off when Ron captured her lips in a burning kiss.

"…Well. Maybe somebody there up there likes me."

----------

Mandy's fingers tapped out a slow, steady rhythm as she waited for Blaise to return. As she took a sip of her Butterbeer, a blonde girl looking almost exactly like Mandy slid into the seat next to her.

"Evening, Mel," Mandy said cheerfully to her cousin as she put her glass down. "How's the ball so far? I'd advise not to drink the punch because you're highly underage, and unlike me, you can't handle your liquor well. Also, you might want to steer clear of the refreshments stand near midnight, give or take a few minutes. And by the way, the beverage you're drinking, Melody, is actually a very diluted and therefore weak Love Potion the wonderful proprietors at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes have recently invented. The results are quite nice; you'll be having a crush on everyone of the opposite sex. And speaking of one, here comes Blaise with more alcoholic drinks," she said in one breath.

"Oh, hello, Melody," Blaise said, only looking a bit surprised to see Mandy's cousin sitting at their table. "Er…want a drink? Oh, wait, no, I see you've already had the pumpkin juice. That's not good for a fourteen-year-old," he winked at her. Melody blushed.

"Bloody hell, how do the Weasley twins come up with this stuff?" she shrieked before running off to feed every boy she knew pumpkin juice by the gallon.

"How's it going with the plans?" Blaise asked, smoothing Mandy's hair affectionately.

"Quite all right, actually," she replied, pulling a faded piece of parchment from her cerulean dress robes. "I've already secured the patent and lined up five interviews the day after graduation. How's it going on the test runs?"

"Excellent," said Blaise happily. "The phones are working, the computers are just humming away, and the pagers couldn't beep faster."

Mandy grinned. "We've done it, partner-in-crime." Blaise laughed.

"Now, onto some more important business," Blaise said, the smile disappearing from his face altogether. "The Head of Advertising at the Ministry of Magic has suggested an international tour to promote this. Only one of us needs to go, and I've already told them I'm going. I know you have to stay back and take care of your cousins - you're the only family Melody and Matthew have left, ever since your aunt died. But, er, there's a catch." He grasped Mandy's hands. "The tour will take two years - "

"Say no more," Mandy smiled. "I can wait two measly years. Hell, I can wait a lifetime! Just promise you'll return, alright?"

Blaise's eyes softened. "I promise."

"Then it's settled," Mandy said. "I'll be waiting for you when you get back - right back where we started from...at the beginning."

Celestina Warbleck decided to take a break, so Professor Flitwick slipped a Muggle record into the sound system.

_We were strangers, starting out on a journey  
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through  
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing  
At the beginning with you_

_No one told me I was going to find you  
Unexpected, what you did to my heart  
When I lost hope, you were there to remind me  
This is the start - _

"There's only six months before graduation. Let's make the most out of these last moments," Blaise said, offering Mandy his arm. "Care to dance?"

"I'd thought you'd never ask."

_And life is a road that I wanna keep going  
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing  
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey  
I'll be there when the world stops turning  
I'll be there when the storm is through  
In the end I wanna be standing  
At the beginning with you_

---------

Hermione nearly spilled all of her punch down her front when a familiar song came on.

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,  
And think of you  
Caught up in circles confusion  
Is nothing new - _

Draco gently touched her arm. "Hermione……will you dance with me?" It had seemed that all the alcohol had suddenly vanished out of his system. Hermione's eyes suddenly became clearer as she smiled shyly up at him.

_Flashback - warm nights  
Almost left behind  
Suitcases of memories,  
Time after - _

Warm. Soft. Tight.

Hermione had never felt so comfortable before. Raising her head, she looked into Draco's deep gray eyes. She saw those beautiful eyes flicker lazily open.

"Draco………I love you."

His response was to pull her even closer to him. "Hermione…"

"You don't have to say it," Hermione whispered, as they swayed slowly to the music. "I've known it all along."

_If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
Time after time  
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting  
Time after time_

Looking over Draco's shoulder, Hermione's heart swelled with happiness as she saw everyone she had ever loved and everyone who had loved her.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny. Her best friends and her sanctuary. The ones who had never doubted her, the ones who would stick with her until the end, the ones who would always be there for her.

Pansy, Blaise, Theo, and Morag. The Slytherins she would never forget. The Slytherins that had renounced their loyalties, the Slytherins that had allowed the icy exteriors of their shields to be broken, the Slytherins that had proved, over and over again, that they were worthy of their House.

Mandy. The Ravenclaw that Hermione knew would go far beyond what was expected of her and her past. The Ravenclaw that should've been in Slytherin. The one that would put her life on the line and not have one doubt about it.

Luna. The quirky, enigmatic girl that had changed Hermione. The one who had fought past the barriers of Hermione's mind. The one who, above all, believed true love could be tested with a carrot.

And then there was Draco.

Draco…the only one who could not be described in the words of Hermione's immense vocabulary, for words were not enough.

As the minutes passed, Hermione knew that this time around, her fairytale would not go wrong. Here in Draco's arms, the love that radiated from them was stronger than spells and hexes and potions. Magic was good enough to fix objects and charm trolls, but the magic of witchcraft and wizardry was nothing compared to the magic of love. And as long as Draco and Hermione loved each other, nothing was going to get in the way of their love, for love is the strongest magic of all.

The clock struck midnight.

-The End-


End file.
